Next week, it will be one year since our girl left us. When winter started to set in, I grabbed this memorial stone (a gift from dear Linda) and brought it inside. I didn’t want her out there in the elements.
I know you understand.
I am in the middle – in fact, both of us are – of trying to figure out how to balance my anger and outrage about what has happened since January 20th with the fact that I have to take care of myself. Someone said I was very angry and my internal response was, ‘You’re damned right, I’m angry. The election was stolen. We have a man of dubious mental fitness at the helm of our country. People are being hurt, families are being uprooted.” I won’t deny it and I won’t apologize for it.
Watch the signs, my friends, we are being maneuvered into a position where war seems like an inevitability.
And, though I consider myself a tolerant person (but human, like all of us) there is no room for tolerance when we’re talking about racism, bigotry, misogyny, Islamophobia or xenophobia. That is non-negotiable.
Complacency is not an option. Acceptance is not an option. My favorite sign from Don’s post about the March in Washington was “If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention.”
Nevertheless, I need to take care of myself. And you need to take care of yourselves. And how do we do that? It took me ages to fall asleep last night because this was swirling about in my brain. I don’t want to lose my edge, to lose my desire to fight. I could never forgive myself if I sat back, gave up, and did nothing. But I also have a life to live, work on the horizon, things to do and, at the age of 64, I want and crave peaceful pockets in my days.
This is a question – a discussion – I would love to have with all of you. How do we maintain balance? I can’t let everything he says drive me insane. I have to accept the fact that he is insane and that’s not going to change. I need to see the bigger picture and as Don reminded me this morning, it’s a marathon, not a sprint.
How do we find balance? How do you find balance? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. I think we can help each other.
Today’s schedule? My camera. A Gentleman in Moscow. Maybe a walk. Some hot chocolate. A hug from my husband – make that several. Stay away from Twitter.
I did find a pocket of camera time yesterday. Last week, I saw a bluebird at the birdbath and I couldn’t get to my camera and lens quickly enough to take a picture. Yesterday, while on the phone with Don, I saw another bluebird and I told Don, “I have to hang up. Now.”
But gosh darn it, they move so quickly, and I have to station myself nearby the windows because if I go outside, I’ll scare them away, so my options are more limited.
The presence of bluebirds around here in the winter makes me smile and it also makes me wonder: Where are they in the spring and summer? Do they come here from more northern climes? Is this their winter home? There are a lot of them around here this winter and they’ve been hanging around for quite a while.
Not all that successful, but I did manage a few shots with the telephoto lens.
Late afternoon, gray sky, but there he is.
This one is hidden in the wild roses, aka the dreaded brambles. They provide good cover.
This little sweetie was way off on the other side of the corral at the edge of the woods.
I’ll keep trying.
It’s amazing, really, how many birds are active at any given moment in the dead of winter. When I stop and concentrate entirely on watching for movement of some kind, I realize that there are dozens and dozens of birds flying around. All the time. It’s truly a wonder.
It’s sunny today. More bird watching/photo taking is on the docket.
Because it makes me happy and it’s a form of self-care.
I have a new book review on Just Let Me Finish This Page today. Click here to read it.