My mom is confined to a nursing home.
Her decline has been long and painful.
I will speak to her today. But she no longer wants to talk on the phone, so I usually get only a few words in before she says, “Thanks for calling.” End of conversation.
I can’t tell you how many times I want to call her and share something with her; news about a childhood friend, an old movie I’ve seen that reminds me of watching old movies with her all through my growing-up years, a song I’ve heard, something funny about the dogs. I can’t do that anymore. She lives in a half-in-this-world/half-out-of-this-world state of being.
My dad gets frustrated when she won’t talk during his daily visits. But I can’t blame her. I wouldn’t want to talk either.
This isn’t what we imagined for her. And my dad’s lonely existence without her isn’t what we imagined for him.
Many of you have lost your mothers and this day is especially poignant for you. Some of you have never known your mother, so this day strikes a painful chord in your heart. Some of you have suffered the loss of a child, so this day is filled with sadness. Many of you are mothers and grandmothers and aunts. We are all daughters.
I wish for you a day filled with love, whether it comes from others or from yourself. Indulge. Treat yourself to something special. Make a cup of tea. Read a book. And if you can tell a mom that you love her, do.