Dear little Scout is having a hard time processing the fact that Riley isn’t here. At first, I think she thought he was just away for a few days. After some time passed, she became increasingly more agitated. She has long stretches of time where she seems fine. But then, suddenly, she’ll get up, go to a rug, start pawing and scratching at the rug and then she’ll walk around the room a few times in a very agitated state. The ‘pawing’ of the rug is something she’s done before, but never this much and never this obsessively. When that happens, I call to her and tell her to come and I pet her and soothe her, telling her everything is going to be alright.
She positions herself on Riley’s rug and looks at us. She wants to know where we are at all times. She follows me to the bathroom and peeks in the door – something Riley used to do all the time. She’s 13 now, actually 13 ½, and I see her slowing down, getting tired more quickly.
I don’t even want to go there. Not after what we’ve just been through.
She knows that a member of our pack is missing. She can’t figure out where he is. So we are spoiling her, coddling her, soothing her; doing everything we can to help her through this sad transition in our family life.
We take her on car rides.
She loves the view.
So do I.
Now you see why the organization that rescued her named her ‘Smiley.’ She, at her best, is pure joy. We want to get her back to her best.
I know many of you have been through this particular situation: trying to help the dog that is left behind cope with the loss of a friend. Any tips? Anything that worked for you?
A couple of you shared this quote with me about losing a beloved pet:
“It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them, and every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are.”
I love this. I can only hope I become that generous and loving.
On another note: I posted a book review yesterday (scroll down 2 posts) and I didn’t get permission for a giveaway until later in the day. This comedic thriller is such a great read. I really recommend it. If you’re interested, leave a comment on the post. In order to give you extra time to comment, I’ll pick a winner on Sunday.
And don’t forget the party that starts this Saturday.
What a beautiful quote, Claudia. We can only hope …
Have you considered a new friend for Scout? Riley could NEVER be replaced of course, but think of the joy a new family member would bring for all of you!
Give Scout a hug for me,
Sue
xo
AMIGA… Cuando uno de nuestros “niñitos peludos” se va; se siente una tristeza en el alma difícil de explicar.
¿Quien sabe lo que es mejor? Coger a otro compañero de andanzas para tu perrita SMILEY, o pasar este trance y centrar toda la atención en ella.
De cualquier manera, vas a poder volcar todo tu AMOR, en esta TIERNA PRESENCIA BLANCA y poner tus puntos de mira en ella para que recupere la FELICIDAD; o acercarte al primer REFUGIO DE ANIMALES y traerte a casa un-a nuevo inquilino que llene tanto vacío. LA DECISIÓN ES TUYA!!!
UN ABRAZO AMIGA Y SUERTE!!!
I love the quote! and … um….. our solution was to get another dog. But I’m not saying everyone should do that…lol. But it worked for us :-)
Beautiful quote. Scout just needs time. She is pawing the rug to make a nest/den. Try giving her a small blaket she can bundle. It may help. Better days, Claudia.
My heart goes out to sweet Scout and to all of you. Having you there to love and comfort her, helps her more than you know.
Xo,
Charlotte
I love that quote too! I have never heard that particular one before, but it is perfect! I did have that happen that one of my Boston Terriers passed a year before the other one but the one that was with us last was sick and having seizures and didn’t seem to notice. We even brought a kitten into our family and she didn’t even see it because of her waning eyesight. I know it is sad to see but we have to tell ourselves that the love we are giving our pets and the unconditional love they give us back is part of life. Like I told you before, they will all be with me again someday. There might be a fight as to who is going to get my lap, but they will be with me. Anyway, that is how I have got through it….5 times in our married life, actually It never gets any easier. ~Hugs, Patti
I hope that soon Scout will adjust. We forget sometimes that they feel the loss too. Sometimes a new friend would help. But it does depend on the dog. How they get a long with other dogs, will they feel like their space is getting invaded, etc. A puppy might be too much at her age or it can help her get some energy back. Only you know your dog. Maybe a stuffed animal that she could snuggle with. Unless she is like our English Cocker and tears them apart. I know that it is so painful for you to see her like this. I wish I knew how to “fix” this. Hugs, Teresa
Poor Scout, I think you are doing all the right things Claudia. You are loving her and giving her extra attention and understanding.
Blessings, Joanne
I’m really happy to hear you’re giving Scout the pampered dog treatment, she so deserves it! She’s a cutie for sure!
Love the heart of a dog saying, I’ve never heard it before and am taking it to heart.
See you Saturday. xoxo
I thin you are doing just fine! Time will help and, who knows, another baby may show up that needs you.
Claudia, perhaps you’ve already done this…. but I would sit down with Scout and have a heart to heart talk with her and explain everything that happened. I would say something like: ” I know you’re really missing Scout. So are we! It’s so sad that she isn’t here near us anymore! We all love her so much. Do you remember how she was sick for such a long time and it was so hard for her to get around? It got so hard for her that she just couldn’t stay here anymore, and she had to go on. Do you know that she’s in a wonderful place now? And that she’s really very happy because she doesn’t hurt anymore and she can run and play games up in heaven just like she did here. She’s right there, but we just can’t see her. And she still loves you and misses you very much! It’s okay to be sad. We’ll just work on things together and we’ll all get through this.” I know you may think I’m a little bit wonky to suggest this, but animals clearly understand us when we speak to them. They know what we’re saying even though we don’t always understand them. They have such fine sensitive spirits…. filled with love and loyalty and devotion. It always feels better when grief is expressed, when you can share with someone the sweetness of fond memories. I think Scout just wants to talk. She wants to say all the things that are in her heart. Have some good conversations with her. Look right into her eyes. Validate her sorrow. Talk about the good times she and Riley had together. Just go with whatever subject she brings up……
I think you already are that generous. Oh poor Scoutie, tell her Aunt Mere loves her very much.
M
Poor Scout,
Anyone who says animals don’t know what’s going on has not had the pleasure of having one. They cannot possible realize the depth to which their loyalty and love go – and ours to them. Just love on him.
Love, Judy
My heart goes out to Scout. I missed several days of your postings, because I didn’t realize I needed to sign up again for the email….glad Brenda posted about that. Wishing you and Scout many happy days.
Hi Claudia,
I feel so bad for your loss and for your dog Scout too. I think you are doing the right thing by giving him extra love and attention. I guess only time will make things better. My heart goes out to you and your family. With every furry member of our family that has passed, it feels so empty and sad for awhile. I fear I will have to say goodbye to my kitty (who is eighteen years) old soon. It is never easy. Hugs and love go out to you.
blessings,
Danielle
So sad for all of you..It takes time..sometimes lots of it…
This just makes me so sad for Scout and you. I don’t have any advice but to love her and reassure he just like you are! Big Hugs!!!! Linda
Poor baby, it must be so hard for her, not understanding why ….
Jen @ Muddy Boot Dreams
I’m sorry I’m late reading this post. I have been thinking of you, Scout and
Don and know what a hard time you are having right now. I’ve had dogs that went
looking all threw the house looking for the dog that passed. It’s heart wrenching!
You are doing all you can do with the extra rides, treats and love. Time is all that
helps, for you and Scout. That can be so hard to take. Give her a hug for me!
Love, Gina
I’m sure Scout must be so confused, but I’m also sure that your loving attention and soothing comfort is a help. I don’t know enough about dogs and loss to offer any real advice. The only thought I had was whether or not having Riley’s rug there, and other things that have his scent, are a comfort to her or only add to her confusion? I guess an animal behavioralist might be able to tell you, I honestly don’t know. I hope in time she becomes less agitated and in her own doggie way moves on to some kind of acceptance.