Friends.
I’m in a tough place today so this will be brief. I don’t want to go into details, but I’ve had a 1-2 punch in the past 24 hours in terms of my professional work. I’m feeling a great deal of anger, even some rage, but most of all, sadness and disappointment in those I trusted.
We always think we matter more than we do – at least, in the freelance world of the arts. But we’re really just a blip on the radar. Expendable? Most definitely. I say ‘we’ because Don has run up against this as well.
That’s really all I can say for now. And probably all I will say.
But I’m reeling from it at the moment, so I find it impossible to be chatty. I know you understand.
I’m going to throw myself into mowing the lawn. It will be good to have something physical to do.
More tomorrow.
Debbie Price says
Wrapping you in hugs and love 💖
Claudia says
Thank you.
Rose Hester says
So sorry. Hugs.
Claudia says
Thank you.
Shanna says
I understand. Take care of You today. xo
Claudia says
Thank you.
Kim in Maryland says
Claudia, I am so sorry.
Claudia says
Thank you.
kathy in iowa says
sorry something happened to anger and hurt you.
think you said you enjoy mowing the lawn (?) … either way, hope that helps you feel better and that you can have a nice weekend.
kathy in iowa
Claudia says
Thank you.
Janet K says
Dear Claudia, I hope you find some peace from the hurt that runs in our minds when things like this happen. You are not alone.
Claudia says
Thank you.
barb brownlee says
mowing can be great therapy- meanwhile take pride in your own knowledge of your achievements-
good thoughts your way-
barb in texas
Claudia says
Thank you.
Linda @ A La Carte says
It makes me sad and mad to think that after all these years of hard work and loyalty that you would be hurt like this. Mow that lawn and get it out with actions. I’m always here for you. Hugs!
Claudia says
Thank you.
karen says
I’m so sorry, Claudia. Sending good thoughts your way.
Claudia says
Thank you.
Cathy S. says
So sorry to hear this. Don’t let it spoil your upcoming dream trip. Hugs coming your way.
Claudia says
Thank you.
Donnamae says
I am so sorry to hear this. I know mowing can’t fix anything…but sometimes it helps. Sending hugs. ;)
Claudia says
Thank you.
Chris K in Wisconsin says
I hope mowing helps. Sometimes it is the easier things that help so much. Fretting is inevitable, but be sure to allow yourself grace and peace as well. This thing they call “life” is not easy, and I think that as we get older it becomes so much more difficult.
Thinking of you both today. ♡
Claudia says
Thank you.
Wendy T says
Hope the negativity you’re feeling will soon dissolve. It hurts that someone like you is hurting. Do something outrageously fun this weekend, just for you, and pull Don along with you. You’re correct…this is only a blip, and you’ll come out fine on the other side. Hugs.
Claudia says
Well, I was saying that I am only a blip on someone else’s radar. But you’re right, eventually this will be only a blip. Thank you.
Kay says
So sorry to hear. Take care of yourself and be proud of what you’ve done thus far.
Claudia says
Thank you.
Janet in Rochester says
So sorry you have to cope with whatever. I recommend busting something. Yes – just destroying something. Something expendable, needless to say. But it can be amazingly satisfying to break something when you’re really steamed. Once during Winter exams in my senior year in college I was so stressed out [suffering from a perfect storm of negative factors] I hurled a cheap drinking glass from the dining hall against the brick wall of my dorm, around midnight near the service entrance. Smashed it to dust!! I can’t tell you how satisfying that was – the sound especially. Like releasing the valve on a pressure cooker & letting the steam escape. Oddly enough I’ve never been so stressed or steamed I felt the urge to do that again. But at the time it was great! So maybe try whacking something or breaking something or hurling something. Shoot something disgusting at a Trump photo perhaps? LOL. If you’re anything like me, you may feel better. PS – I was careful to clean up the glass afterward. Hang in there, Claudia. Better days are ahead. Peace.
#Resist
#ProtectMueller
Claudia says
Thank you.
Gayle says
Have you seen the axe excercises? Chopping with great force. I am feeling for you, I have a knot in my chest from a minor altercation and think I need to do something very physical now. Good thoughts ….
Claudia says
Thank you, Gayle. I’ll look them up.
Belinda says
Sending you hugs and good energy 🙏 May you find peace soon in all you’re dealing with Claudia.
Claudia says
Thank you.
Nancy Blue Moon says
I have been through times when I have felt that I was not appreciated like I thought I should be…this seems similar to what you are feeling…Please know that your friends here are on your side and we will do anything we can to help! Hugs…
Claudia says
Thank you.
Judy Clark says
How could anyone not appreciate yours and Don’s talents? I don’t get it. Their loss. My computer got fried about a month ago and so I’ve been busy with the wedding and the kids plus a bout in the hospital with my pancreatitis so I’m just not getting back to the computer. The wedding is next weekend. Can’t believe it is already here. Will post pics soon.
Chin up. You two are the best!!
Love,
Judy
Claudia says
Thank you, Judy. Feel better, my friend.
Marilyn says
Sorry about your disappointments. It hurts to be betrayed . Good thoughts coming your way.
Marilyn
Claudia says
Thank you.
Dottie says
Your readers love and appreciate you and Don. When these things happen, it really sets us back. You and Don are incredibly talented and even more important, you are very nice people. Hugs coming your way!
Claudia says
Thank you.
Lea says
I am sorry to hear this. Punch some pillows, stand in front of a mirror and say FU to the person responsible, then pamper yourself in every which way. It hurts when someone we trust treats us like garbage.
Claudia says
Thank you.
Cindy says
Please know you will be in my prayers this weekend.
Claudia says
Thank you.
Debbie says
Listen to the Jimmy Buffett song….Breathe In, Breath Out, Move On….
It might help :)
Claudia says
We know that song well! Thank you.
Carolyn Marie says
Be well Claudia.
Claudia says
Thank you.
Carol says
I’m so sorry to hear this Claudia. Sending you positive energy…and hugs!
Claudia says
Thank you
Polly M. says
Ouch! That hurts! I only know you from your blog, but believe you are extraordinary and kind, and hope something good/better comes along.
Best wishes.
Claudia says
Thank you.
Vicki says
Claudia, I’m so sorry. This isn’t fair for you to have these work headaches! Thinking of you today…
Claudia says
Thank you.
Eve says
I’m sad to hear this happened. They might say it’s just business, nothing personal, but that wouldn’t make me feel better either way. I hope something else good comes your way.
Claudia says
Thank you.
Tana says
What comes around goes around.
Claudia says
Thank you.
tammy j says
Judy above said it best. it’s THEIR LOSS.
my heart to yours dear bean. don’t let them have control.
it must be a sock in the stomach but you are strong. you prove THAT every day! XOXO
Claudia says
Thank you.
Debbie in Oregon says
I received a crushing blow from my own work a few years back … so I most definitely feel your anger, disappointment, sadness, etc. Sending prayers and hugs your way, Claudia.
Claudia says
Thank you.
Regula says
Even if you are employed and have given your best and everybody is your friend, they don’t do anything to make you stay because the are happy that they can stay. And the day you close the door for the last time behind you, they start to forget you. So sad!
The best you can do is looking forward. Hopefully, there will soon be someone who appreciates you and your work.
Claudia says
Thank you.
Cheryl says
I understand what you’re going through. I’m back in the job market after taking time off to care for an ill relative. I work in the technology field and a number of those companies use contract recruiters. I’ve never had a good experience with them.
Recently I had a phone interview scheduled with one for a job. They did not call at the scheduled time so I sent them an email asking what was up. Four days later they reply saying they would like to reschedule. I replied “Well, why don’t you call me next Thursday at 1 and when the phone rings I won’t answer it and then I can waste your time just like you did mine. By the way, I sent a note to the company letting them know that you did not keep the appointment. I doubt they’ll care but I let them know about it.”
I know that that was a snarky response but I was no longer wanted the job and I’m so tired of being treated that way.
Claudia says
I absolutely understand. Thank you, Cheryl. I’m sorry you were treated that way.
NYYgirl says
Totally. Get it. So yes, go mow & then afterwards treat yourself to a couple of hours of losing yourself in a fun & beautiful & emotionally fulfilling visual activity (re-rearranging egg cups, books, sketching/photographing some of your gorgeous garden flowers to become an email to yourself during our next long Northeast winter, googling images of antique flowerpots, etc) accompanied by a delicious coffee or drink of some kind, maybe followed by a dinner out with your lovely spouse. (Maybe this is not an ideal sad movie night.)
Hugs to you both from an accidental reader who has done plenty of freelancing on Bway & everywhere else…
Claudia says
Ah…you understand! Thank you so much for commenting. And thank you for reading the blog. xo
Heather says
I’m so sorry, Claudia. I hope whatever it is, that it opens a lovely new door!!! Sending love and hugs, Heather
Claudia says
Thank you, Heather.
Betsy says
You are better off without them. I want you to know that in the last 2 years they have changed drastically. Their marketing department has turned into being harassing telephone solicitors to the point that we will no longer purchase tickets. Not sure if they’re running on empty or running scared. Just breathe and remember “all shall be well, all shall be well, all manner of things shall be well”. Concentrate on your fabulous trip!
Claudia says
Yes. I think both are correct. Most theaters are having a very hard time financially.
Thank you, Betsy. That quote is one of my favorites.
Carol Dunlap says
I’m so sorry you aren’t being appreciated as you should. I hope things turn around soon, and better opportunities are on the horizon.
Claudia says
Thank you, Carol.
Kay Nickel says
I am so sorry. It seems like no matter how good you are we become irrelevant at a certain age in our society. Be proud of who you are. You know you are good at what you do. Getting older is hard sometimes.
Claudia says
I don’t think this has to do with age. It’s just unprofessional. Thanks, Kay.