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Yesterday was my day off. It was sunny, but windy and cold (will winter ever leave?) and I took a walk in Bushnell Park. Camera in hand, of course. The trees are budding and in some cases, in full bloom.
The carousel. I was determined to take a ride last year and never did. This year? It’s on!
I call this the Wizard of Oz tree because it reminds me so much of those talking apple trees in the forest. I love all the curves and bumps.
Beautiful, isn’t it?
I ran into the young man who is assisting the director on Twelfth Night and we stood there and chatted for what must have been 45 minutes or so. I met him when I was here in January – he’s very nice, very smart and is just starting out on what will be an exciting career, I’m sure.
There’s nothing like sitting in a room full of actors and other assorted types and realizing they are all younger than you to pull you up short. Last year, one or two of the actors were my age or older. Not this year. And so comes the feeling that what they see when they look at me is not how I feel inside. They’re seeing the older Claudia, the woman who’s face and grayish hair and not-as-thin-as-she-used-to-be body still shocks her. And I realize that they are meeting me for the first time as this. But I used to be that. And they have no knowledge of that. But I still feel like that. Do you know what I mean?
I know I’m echoing the thoughts of everyone who reaches a certain age. This is nothing new. On one hand, it keeps me on my toes. On the other, it can be depressing. When did this happen? I’ve written about it before – in fact, the title of the post was On Being the Oldest Person in the Room. Theaters are always full of young, energetic people and that’s a good thing. But, boy, the realization that I am no longer part of that group still smacks me upside the head at times.
I came back to my hotel and started work on Alicia Paulson’s design for Maggie Rabbit. I didn’t start on it until about 4 pm, but I managed to create the body, head and ears.
It took me awhile to make my blanket stitch look presentable. I’m showing you the best side. I did all this while watching the Red Sox and eating some cookies that I snagged from the hotel’s evening buffet.
We’re still doing table work but should finish by the end of the day today. I’ve started on individual coaching sessions and I’ll tell you more about them tomorrow.
Oh. Remember my request for a name for my Teddy Bear? The one that travels with me when I’m on the road? Well, I was falling for William when that sneaky husband of mine left a comment and one of his suggestions was Wayfrum Holmes. I laughed out loud when I read it. So Wayfrum it is. But I think Wayfrum’s middle name will be William.
Happy Tuesday.
Wayfrum Holmes…Love it!
Wayfrum– too cute! Very nice photos! Yes, I know what you mean about meeting people at “this” age!! Can we wear signs around our necks: “I used to look a lot different” maybe with an accompanying photo from 25 years ago??
Don is so funny. I am the oldest therapist at work, the rest are in their early 30’s or 20’s. When I pop into the clinic I always say, “Grandma is here!” and they are laugh. I feel the same way you do, when did this happen?
Mere
I know EXACTLY what you mean, honey, EXACTLY. Yep, the oldest woman in the room and still thinkin’ like I’m 30. Of course, they’ll feel that way in many more years, but it’s frustrating when you know in your heart and mind that you’re just a girl like them and they don’t realize it. I often tell the young women at church I’m “just a girl like you, only much wiser” and you’ll know what I mean someday.
xoxo,
Connie
Claudia, Your husband is very clever. I love the bear’s name.,so cute. Hope you are loviong that wonderful park. That’s where i would love to have lunch. Take care and be safe. xoxo,Susie
What a beautiful city!
Yes, I know exactly what you mean by being a certain age on the outside, but feeling much much younger on the inside. I vote for that inside feeling!
Love, love, love the name Wayfrum Holmes.
nancyr
I think you’re looking at it all wrong – Perhaps they are seeing you and thinking “My God, she’s beautiful and hip and she knows everything. I have so much to learn before I’ll ever be of her caliber.”
Love your Bears name – clever.
Love the pictures Claudia.
I took a year long course on interpersonal skills last year and was the oldest person in the class. It was interesting because I finally forgot my age but they started calling me Wise Old Woman. Everyone of them told me at one time how they admired me and felt I had so much to teach them. It was a special time for this 70 year old. I am sure it is the same with the people you work with. I know you have much to give them and they will learn from you.
Wayfrum Holmes. I admit it took me a minute to “get it”! But it’s a perfect name for him and I’m sure Wayfrum likes it too. Such beautiful pictures. Spring does seem a bit delayed this year, but I know it will eventually arrive. The budding and blossoming trees are stunning. They remind me of the cherry blossoms in Japan.
I feel as you do. I know I’m no different than I was before, but I sure look older. That’s okay and I think I’ve finally accepted it. To everything there is a season and all! :-)
Blessings,
Betsy
What a beautiful park. Glad you got a chance to get outside and get some fresh air and exercise. And I certainly do know what you mean about feeling that tug between feeling young and old. Funny thing is ~ it truly hit me when I turned 50 last year. Why didn’t I feel that at 49? Can’t wait to see your rabbit when it’s done. I love Alicia’s blog.
Your photos of the park are so pretty. I love the white and pink trees. What are those? They look like redbuds, are they? Nice that you can get out and enjoy the city while you are there. And the rabbit is taking shape. Good idea of taking your machine with you. That’ll help with those evenings in the hotel room,
Judy
That park is beautiful…especially love that wizard tree…thought it was fake at first! I know exactly how you feel about the age thing. I’m constantly feeling at least thirty years younger than I really am in my mind…I feel I am just as sharp, perhaps a bit more feisty! But, I look different, not bad…just different. It’s just hard to accept…getting older.
Love the name Wayfrum Holmes…and so fitting that Don came up with it, and so clever! ;)
Yesterday I was telling someone about traveling to Europe in 1974. He said: “I was starting third grade in 1974”. !!!
Yes, I felt old….
Wayfrum Holmes. Clever. And Perfect! I can relate to your comments about your exterior self not matching the inner self. I do think though, that anyone who comes into contact with you thinks you are a lovely person, and age doesn’t have anything to do with that. Yes, I suppose there will always be people who dismiss us because of our age, that’s just the way it is. I bet many of your young actors respond to both your vast knowledge, and your cool vibe, though. You can’t fake knowledge or coolness!
I love Wayfrum’s name. So sweet…
Don has a funny sense of humor!
the knobby tree is so cool. I also think you should ride the carousel …because you are so young!
invite some of the youngers to come with …get them thinking outside their boxes too! It will be fun.
Pat
Claudia, You said perfectly what I have tried and tried to put onto words. Who is this old woman and WHAT is she doing in my young perky body?? Thanks for keeping us up to date on your business trip! I would hate it if your were not here! -Judy A-
I can definitely relate to how you feel, Claudia. I’m happy to see the trees there are finally blossoming and giving you some spring. xo Laura
If you have to be away from home it sure is nice that it can be in such a beautiful place! The feelings you have about new people meeting the older Claudia and how you wish they could have know the young Claudia also applies with other situations such as divored people. For awhile after divorce I would meet and get to know new couples and wished they could have known me when I was part of a couple who loved to entertain other couples and had like interests/activities. But, be proud of your maturity. The younger should put even more trust in your experience and knowledge and feel blessed to have your guidance.
Hi Claudia,
How witty is that actor husband of yours! Wayfrum Holmes…sounds so distinguished and debonair – a true gentleman – bear!
Almost fifty myself, forty-nine, to be exact, I am just NOT looking like me this past year. Maybe it’s the muffin top (hiding my once admired waist line), the thickening of my thighs, or thinning of my hair! But mostly, what’s disappeared is that fresh, effortless energy that put a sparkle in my eye and a skip in my step. Where is that girl? Sometimes, she can be seen and heard in the woman that she has become. Yes, wiser, but a wisdom that can’t be woven into hindsight!
Your wandering and pondering in the park has proven to be very thought provoking for me, on this bright and sunny spring day. Thanks so much for sharing!
Poppy xo
The trees are beautiful.
When at church a few weeks ago, a woman around 40 was talking about her horses. I commented about competitive trail riding for 20 some years when I was younger. She acted shocked. She kept saying, “Really, you rode horses?!” Yes, and I raised, trained, and competed with them. I do look my age, and them some. ( It’s all those years in the Ca. sun.) You look terrific Claudia. Don’t let that talk bother you. You are as young as you feel and I feel 25 (with tons more wisdom). I thank God for a good strong body and mind. Pat McDonald
beautiful pictures and I really like the name Wayfrum Holmes ,for the bear.
Hi Claudia~~~Terrific post & wonderful pics! I have a hard time with my age & the way I look also. I was tall & willowy & now I’m an inch & a half shorter & weigh as much as I did when I gave birth to my last child who is 42 years old. One good thing is being able to sign on to Medicare this year. My husband thinks I’m still beautiful & I suppose that’s all that matters~~~we see each other as we did when we first met. Love the bunny & Don’s name for travel teddy is just a hoot!! Take care.
XO, Linda
Thank you for the spring pictures! We still await spring here in WI. And I love the name Wayfrum Williams-endearing! Btw: the crochet scarf arrived and it is beautiful! It is for my dear friends birthday… We share the same birthday in July. At any rate, she has always admired my seafom scarf I bought from you, and now she shall have her own…Though in the multi color i bought from you. II know she will be tickled!
I thank you for buying the scarf, Barbara and I sure hope your friend enjoys it!
I have no doubt she will. I just gave your etsy site to some other friends too, who were admiring my scarf. It sure is an attention getter! :)
Oh that Don is clever!! I enjoyed all your photos. It’s nice to see Spring coming to the North! I am a huge Carousel fan so I hope you do take a ride!! Sometimes it makes me sad that I don’t have many in my life that ‘remember’ the younger me. I do but sometimes it’s hard to still see her in the mirror! hugs, Linda
Wayfrum Holmes is a great name. too funny! : ) Love that bumpy tree shot!