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At Least It Was Clean: A Story

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firstflowers

In a post-winter landscape of grays and browns and just a hint of green, I saw these little yellow flowers on the side of the road as I walked Scout. They are the first flowering anything I have seen this spring. Hurrah!

I have a story to tell you.

Saturday evening I did a load of laundry consisting of underwear, socks and a gray sweatshirt. After putting the load in the dryer, I promptly forgot about it until Sunday morning. Now, Sunday was filled with lots of chores as I prepared for Don’s arrival home today. I had a check list and was very busy all morning getting things done. One of those items on the list was a trip to the grocery store.

Anyway, I threw our sheets in the washer, noticed the clothes in the dryer from the night before, took them out of the dryer and proceeded to fold them in the living room. It was a beautiful day yesterday, with the temps reaching the low sixties and I thought to myself, “I’ll wear that sweatshirt with some jeans when I go to the grocery store. I won’t even need a jacket!” I grabbed the pile of laundry as I went upstairs to make the bed and get dressed, put the underwear and socks away in the dresser drawer but kept the sweatshirt out because I was going to wear it.

After getting dressed, I grabbed my shoulder bag and my grocery list and left the house. Gorgeous day. I drove to the store, parked the car in the very crowded lot and proceeded to walk to the store, along with a lot of other people. As I was nearing the door, I adjusted my shoulder bag, which was slipping off my left shoulder. As I made the adjustment, I happened to touch the bottom edge of the sweatshirt that was sitting on my left hip.

Hmmm.

It felt bulkier than usual.

Still walking, still surrounded by people, I quickly felt under my sweatshirt.

I found a pair of underpants.

A pair of underpants that was seconds away from falling out of my sweatshirt for everyone to see.

Let me tell you, I grabbed that underwear and stuffed it in my bag so quickly it would make your head spin.

Did anyone notice? I have no idea. I was too busy cramming the pants into my bag.

All I could think of was this scene: Claudia walking through the grocery store with a pair of underwear either hanging out of her sweatshirt for all to see or said underwear falling onto the shiny vinyl floor as she merrily pushed her cart toward the produce section.

Would an innocent shopper have been thrust into the awkward position of informing me that my underwear had just fallen out of my sweatshirt? Or worse yet, pick it up from the floor and say “Excuse me…you dropped something.”

Crisis narrowly averted.

When I got home I called Meredith and told her the story and we both laughed so hard that we cried.

That’s my story for your Monday morning.

Don arrives at the train station around 3:00 this afternoon. Can’t wait.

Happy Monday.

ClaudiaSignature140X93

Comments

  2. Claudia, This happens more often than you would think. I have had dryer sheets in my jeans before. I worked with a man, that was complaining about his shirt sleeve as he pulled out a pair of pantyhose.LOL. Glad your sweet man is coming home.. Blessings for a great week. xoxo,Susie

    • Oh, I’m sure these kind of stories abound out there, Susie! Love hearing them!

  3. Vous m’avez bien fait rire (et merci, c’est précieux, parce que comme vous je vis une période difficile)
    Très heureuse que Don soit de retour,vous êtes tellement sympathiques tous les deux ,vous méritez bien d’être un peu ensemble.
    Claude

  4. : ) Sounds like you handled it very well! Welcome home Don! You and Scout must be so happy!

  5. Nice chuckle of a story to start the week!! Glad Don is coming home and the weather is turning somewhat nice!! Have a great week!

  6. Loved the story! So happy your Don will be home today. Just in time for a spring cleanup of the yard! Have a good week you two!

  7. Try going into the grocery store with your pants on wrong side out and hubby not saying a thing! He probably didn’t notice. They were pull-on cotton pants and even I didn’t notice until we got home and I had to go to the bathroom. Silly moments like this make up my LIFE, honey, but I truck on.
    xoxo,
    Connie

    • I’ve got lots more stories like that and they still make me laugh, many years later!

  8. This is so funny! All you can do in these situations is laugh at yourself! What was it that Rosanne Rosanna Danna always said, “If it’s not one thing it’s another!” Glad the underwear didn’t make full disclosure! So happy for you, Don and Scout that you will be together again! Long time coming!

    • It does seem like it’s been a very long time – I’m sure it is because of the terrible winter weather.

  9. You are my delightful “coffee buddy” every morning Claudia, and I follow all your adventures with great anticipation and joy…and this morning I just had to respond to your story. Many years ago, while in high school (early 60’s) we were in P.E. class, doing relay laps back and forth in the gym. My girlfriend had a small hairpiece pinned into the top of her hair (we wore those then!) and it was flopping about, so she took it out, and having no pockets, stuffed it quickly into her gym shorts. Her turn to run down the gym floor took a mortifying turn, however, when the offending hair piece dropped out in the middle of the floor, in full sight of the entire gym class! One of life’s memorable moments….I wonder if she still remembers it after 50 years?
    So happy for you that Don is finally coming home…and that your wee family will once again be complete.

    • I love reading these stories! They make me laugh out loud! I had a lot of those ‘adventures’ when I was in junior high school and high school. They are especially embarrassing in those years, aren’t they?

  10. Oh my gosh, I’m laughing out loud with you!!! Back in the late 70’s I had a pair of underwear stuck to the outside of a shirt I was wearing. I’d grabbed it from the dryer and there was a static thing going on. Thank God I noticed it before I left the house for work that day!!! Geesh! What a GORGEOUS day for Don’s homecoming!!!! Enjoy!
    Donna

  11. Great story…great laugh! I’ll bet you are excited to see Don…I’m excited for you! Have a super day Claudia! ;)

  12. Claudia you made my day. How wonderful that you and Meredith had such a great laugh about it. Glad the worst didn’t happen though. I actually went to church with one navy and one hunter green pump on each foot once but no one noticed. I didn’t discover my mistake till I took them off. So glad the wait for your family reunion is almost over. Hope you have a great day!

    • I think I’ve done that before, Janie – two different shoes!

      Believe me, Meredith and I need a good laugh right about now so it was very welcome!

  14. Loved your funny story. So glad Don will return, that’s been a long time.

    The Mockingbirds are rejoicing!

  15. I love other people’s stories like yours. Then I know It’s not only me that has those awkward monents!! :-). Welcome home Don. Scout will be ecstatic!
    Blessings,
    Betsy

  16. Don’t you love it when that happens and the Universe gives us a good laugh? Just last month I went out shopping, mind you, with my Tshirt inside out! I think I was wearing a jacket over it, but we still got a great laugh. Welcome home, Don. Can’t wait to hear of his adventures!

  17. Love to hear stories from others so I know I am not the only one to which these things happen!!
    I wonder if Scout can sense the excitement in the air at MHC today. Will she ride to the train station with you?
    Have a wonderful day, and I am sure you will!! :-)

    • I keep telling her Daddy is coming home. All she knows right now is that she’s not getting her walk today. The train station is about 45 minutes away and I might have to wait there if the train is late, so I’m going to keep Scout home.

  18. Your story about the underwear has reassured me that I am not the only one these things happen to! So happy for you that Don will be coming home!

  19. Oh Claudia that cracks me up! I’ve done that before. I felt ‘something’ in my pant leg and it was a sock, which I admit is better then undies!! So glad Don will be home today!

    Linda

  20. I am SO glad that I didn’t have a mouthful of coffee when I read what you found under your sweatshirt! If I had, my computer keyboard wouldn’t have survived! TOO TOO FUNNY! Thanks for the laughter this Monday morning!

  21. I am laughing so hard Claudia — great story!! Glad Don is coming home — I know you, he and the precious Scout will be so happy to be reunited. Enjoy!!

  22. Hilarious Claudia!
    I love the funny things we do — they certainly give us something to chuckle about
    Pat

  23. I must share this story of which yours reminded me. I have a friend who did the laundry one Saturday morning in the 70’s. Those were the days of Muumuus and caftans. Being a lovely young woman and mother, she had a lot of lovely bras full of lace. She did the laundry and several chores and got dressed to go to the grocery. She decided to ware her newest caftan. She arrived at the market, put her baby on her hip and finished her shopping. She was the surprised recipient of several smiles from young men and a few grins from older ladies. On her way out of the store, her baby kept trying to pat her Mom’s back. When my friend returned home, her husband asked why her black lace bra was hanging from the crocheted back neckline. When she told us the next Monday, we literally rolled in the office floor.
    So glad Don is on the way. Take care and much love.

    • Hilarious! Absolutely priceless. I always wonder why nobody steps forward to tell the person that something is amiss?

  24. Hahahahahahaha!Claudia,
    When my Mom suddenly passed away at 60 years old,
    We were all in shock.I took her clothes and personal items
    I put the box in my garage, until I had the courage to go thru it.
    Just a few week later I got up early, took my kids to school,
    and headed downtown Christmas Shopping.Six hours and a dozen
    Stops later I stopped at the high school to pick up kids had to drive around
    The parking lot for half an hour. Finally a neghbor and good
    Friend pulled up along side me and said you have some big
    Under wear o the grill of your car!

  26. What a hoot Claudia – on a dark and rainy day it’s just the hearty laugh I required!
    Were they grannie’s panties or a thong? LOL!!

    Welcome home dear Don – about time too, Ms. Claudia is doing some crazy things these days!

    Hugs – Mary

  28. I enjoyed the stories, after a hard day of work it felt good to laugh . Once my nylon knee hi’s came out of my husband pant leg while he was at work. Some co worker asked him what is that hanging out!! Doris

  29. Great story!! Have a wonderful day & welcome home to Don :0) !
    XOXO,
    Linda

  30. Been there, done that my friend! Hahahaha! My own story is years ago, going to work on a Saturday at my part-time department store bridal registry job in freshly-laundered navy blue pants and walking around the whole day, shuffling brides and their moms throughout the housewares, linens and tabletop departments with a navy blue nylon knee-high stuck to the back of my pants – down near the hem, thank God. Or at least it was on the hem when I got home and finally found it. I still hold out the hope but maybe no one noticed – since the colors were similar. But then again, I’m not usually that lucky. And who knows what else may have been stuck there that DIDN’T survive the workday? Plus – now I know enough to really treasure those True Friends, who WILL tell me when I have spinach in my teeth etc. LOL! PS – welcome home Don! Are you ready to take on your next role – as the best sight for sore eyes in Hudson Valley history?

    • The mind boggles, Janet – when that sort of thing happens, it’s best not to even let yourself think about who might have noticed!

  31. That story is just hysterical – thanks for sharing! A big, warm welcome home to Don. I know you both will be so glad he’s home. And so will Scout. Hope you have a wonderful rest of the day together. :-)

  32. How great that you have a funny welcome home story to tell. Many years ago, we had some friends over to visit. One of the guys got up to use the facilities and a pair of particularly garish boxers fell out of his pant leg. We still tell that story whenever we get together. Enjoy.

  34. That reminds me of the time I was visiting my daughters, who were living in Brooklyn. As I walked down the street, a pair of my underpants fell out on the sidewalk. I just kept walking, and pretended it wasn’t me. xo Laura

  35. Memories……so you reminded me of the early Monday morning, walking up from the parking lot at work, wearing my blazer, blouse, ascot and tight skirt & heels, feeling good, looking good, (25 years ago) walked into my office and four gentlemen who worked for me whistled! Into my office, closed the door looking back into my mirror on the wall………and somehow I had missed putting on the skirt! Thankfully I wore a full slip in those days………..my face still gets red after all these years! ( Fortunately I had a clean uniform from the cleaners in my office closest.)
    Somehow, we have those memories of when we are human (after all)! YOU, Claudia made my day, and loved reading about others today as well, having similar stories……….

    • Oh boy, just think what might have transpired if you didn’t have that slip on!

  37. Okay, that one made me laugh out loud. I’ve found socks in sheets on a made bed or in a pillowcase but have never worn something with another piece of clothing stuck to it. :) Good thing you figured it out in time. Tammy

    • It’s so good to have him home, Missy. Don home, Spring finally arriving – my cup runneth over!

  40. oh my, what a hoot to read all of yesterday’s entries :-) I have a funny story to share, although a day late…my husband and a coworker were working side by side at their desks back in the 70’s–the hey days of pocket protectors and false eyelashes :-) The coworker reached into his pocket protector to retrieve a pen and out popped a false eyelash. The only problem being both gents thought it to be a big fuzzy black caterpillar!! As the story goes, both jumped on it with a frenzy trying to kill the beast—only to discover it was the guy’s wife’s false eyelash!!! The story still brings a giggle to mind :-)

    • That is such a funny story, Jeannine! Makes me laugh out loud. Thanks so much for sharing it with us!

  41. I’m a day late to this post, too, but I had my own embarrassing occurrence. A couple of years ago, those diaphanous and voluminous silk tops with wide sleeves were all the rage, worn with a camisole underneath. I wore one with a gorgeous graphic print on a day when I had appointments in our small town. I was sitting in the doctor’s office that afternoon, waiting for my appointment, when I looked down to discover that I’d forgotten the camisole! Fortunately, I had worn a bra, but running errands in a bra and a see-through top is not anything I would have done in my twenties, much less my early sixties! I spent my doctor’s appointment with my purse across my front and my arms clamped to my side (because of the large arm opening). I can just imagine the comments that doctor probably put in his notes.

    • Oh lordy! I can only imagine how horrified you were when you discovered the camisole was missing! But I bet remembering that day still makes you smile, Linda. I love stories like this. Clearly, we all have our share of embarrassing stories to tell!

  43. A friend, an attorney, was making a final argument in court one day. As he was concluding his argument, his animated speech almost over…a tiny pink sock flew from his suit coat sleeve.
    R

  44. Oh my goodness… this story made me giggle! It reminds me of a similar experience that my mom had in a grocery store. Every time the story is brought up we end up laughing until we cry. So funny!!
    Hugs,
    Jill

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