I’ve spent the weekend mourning my dear friend Jan. So many memories. I had a long conversation with Joe yesterday. He cried and cried. Bless him, he took care of everything from the moment Jan called him on Christmas Eve to let him know she was in the ER. Everything. And he’ll do even more this week. He’s exhausted, he’s not sleeping well. I wish I could wrap my arms around him right now.

The weather here is a bit colder than it’s been and it looks like it will be that way throughout this week. March is always a crap shoot. I haven’t opened the blinds yet, but I can hear the sound of tires on wet pavement, so I guess it’s raining again.

The blog crap continues. I tried a newer theme temporarily, wondering if maybe that might be the problem. Nope. Still couldn’t leave a comment. The database is definitely a problem and hopefully the security company will be able to fix that in the next few days. That’s all I can do for now. Making a decision on the future of the blog depends on many factors, most of which are concerned with its viability.

For those of you who are leaving comments via email, thank you! I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your taking the time to connect with me. I miss the comments as much as you do. So thank you, thank you.

It actually doesn’t take any longer to send me an email by clicking on that envelope icon than it does to leave a comment on the blog. I’ve timed it.

Don has been great. He patiently listens to me when I need to vent or talk about the latest about the blog. It’s been such a hard time lately and, thankfully, he understands.

I’m really looking forward to getting outside in the next week or so and starting to clean up after a long winter. So is Don. I think we’ll feel better when we can lose ourselves in those chores and feel like we’re accomplishing something – anything.

The other day in the midst of high winds, we saw a hawk land on one of the lower branches of the maple tree right outside our den. The evening sun was setting and his feathers had a gorgeous golden glow. Truly stunning. A moment of beauty that we sorely needed.

Stay safe.

Happy Monday.

My friend Jan passed away at 2:30 am this morning. From the day she was admitted to the hospital until today was just under 3 months. Joe had said that she slept a lot yesterday, but at one point, she opened her eyes and said “Thank you.” He started crying.

I’m so glad he had that private moment with her, that moment of acknowledgement and love. He has been there for her every step of the way, as she was for him. I’m still numb, as I was sleeping when the text from Joe came through.

We all called her Aunt Jan back in the late seventies and eighties. When both Joe and I were living at her place, we called it Aunt Jan’s Home for Itinerant Artistes. She loved people and they loved her back. She was the daughter of a Presbyterian minister, and Joe was the son of a Methodist minister – PKs, both of them. She was generous and kind and funny. I’m very grateful to have been her friend. When I started feeling trapped in Detroit, feeling that I had to stay there to watch out for my sisters, both Jan and Joe encouraged me to audition for graduate school, to make the move that would change my life. They knew I had to make that change even before I did. I’m forever grateful to them.

May she rest in peace. I know that heaven is celebrating a new angel.

Stay safe.

Hope for spring. I just discovered the daffodils on the edge of the woods. I’ve also seen the shoots from the earliest-to-bloom day lilies emerging from the ground. But, as usual in March, one day is quite warm and the next is freezing. We had a lot of rain last night and now…yes, you’re right…today will be windy all day long.

This has been such a stressful time. My blog security company is trying to find out why the database can’t be backed up. They did manage to stop the other backup and told me it was happening to several other accounts as well. Now they have to dig further. In the meantime, I had two hours of sleep the other night, got up at 5 am, and when Don came downstairs, I just started sobbing. Lack of sleep, the world, the blog stuff, but mostly because my friend Jan has stopped eating and drinking and we now know she has entered the final weeks of her life. She is very frail. She rarely speaks and when she does, she doesn’t always make sense. Joe and I are in constant contact. Hospice says it will probably be within a week or so.

Yesterday was her birthday and I asked Joe to let me know when I might call him, so that he could put the phone up to her ear.  I did that yesterday morning and she actually said to me, “Oh, hi!” I wished her a happy birthday and told her I love her. She said “Thank you.”  Her voice was very shaky. I told her I didn’t want to tire her and then there was silence. I loudly said, “Give the phone to Joe” so that he would hear me, which he did. Oh, how grateful I was for that moment when she knew it was me. That was an unexpected gift.

I take my phone upstairs with me at bedtime in case Joe needs to reach me.

There’s just too much going on right now and none of it is easy or peaceful.

I finished The Grey Wolf   this morning. Excellent, as always. Now I’m on to Nemesis, which I picked up from the library yesterday.

You can click on that envelope icon and send me an email comment. For those of you who read the blog on phones, the set up is different. You have to scroll down past the posts and there you’ll see all the sidebar information. I believe the envelop icon is the first thing you’ll see in that section.

I have a new little tour on the YouTube channel. I’ll give you the link tomorrow.

Stay safe.

Happy Friday.