Mockingbird Hill Cottage

Mockingbird Hill Cottage

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While Walking by the Zoo

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First, I must say Happy Mother’s Day to my Mom. You are the best, Mom.

I walk to rehearsals every day. My walk takes me through Balboa Park, where the theater is located and where the famous San Diego Zoo is also located. In fact, I walk by the Zoo on my way to the rehearsal halls. Yesterday, as I was passing the Zoo, I took the opportunity to call my nephew who was turning 13. He is the youngest of my sister’s two boys. He has always had the most wonderful speaking voice, very childlike and full of wonder, with a natural musicality that is delightful. If I could I would do an imitation of it for you.

Meredith put him on the phone. I said “Happy Birthday!” A stranger answered. A stranger who has a deep voice with about a 3 note range. What????? I felt like someone had kicked me. Of course, I said nothing to him – I know all about boys and changing voices and self-consciousness. I have several nephews. I get it. But this voice, this sweet little boy voice – I loved that voice.

Gone. When my sister got back on the line, I went on and on about it. She said “Welcome to my world.” Boys grow up, the youngest becomes a young man. I think all Moms want to stop time for a while – have their kids stay at a certain age. I guess Aunts do, too. I’m hoping I can keep that voice alive in my memory, in the little tape recorder in my brain.

Later that day, I was walking back home – again by the zoo. I walk along a high fence that hides the exhibits. For some reason I took my camera along with me yesterday. Alerted by some school children who were pointing and aiming cameras, look what I saw:


Apparently, the back of the Koala exhibit faces the fence. You can see the fence I walked along, and then the interior enclosure. You must know something about me: koala bears are my favorite animals in the zoo. I love them. So I stood there, entranced by this little creature and trying to get a good photo. Here are some more:


He woke up for a minute.


And…back to sleep.

I didn’t even have to pay the entrance fee! Now that I know they are there, I will be watching for a glimpse of one every day. I know that Koalas don’t like to be held and are not ‘cuddly’ but in my world, I prefer to think they are. Isn’t this the cutest little guy? I want him. Do you think they would let me take him home?

Have a wonderful day.

Surprises in the Mail

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Thank you for all your loving, supportive comments yesterday. I know that all of you have had your share of losses and understand how overwhelming grief can be. Writing about it was enormously healing for me. As I wrote, I cried. The sadness stayed with me throughout the day. But I feel better now. Today is a new day, the sun is shining and I have a lot of work to do!

On to happier things!

My friend Terri of Artful Affirmations took pity on my mail-less state and sent me two things this week. I can’t tell you how happy that made me. I received this postcard first. I love the quote and have it propped up on my desk.


Oh, how true!

Yesterday, I received a little package from Terri. Of course, I opened it at the theater so I have to tell you how it was wrapped – in lovely aqua tissue paper with string tied around the package. On the string was a tag. The tag said:


When I flipped the tag over, I saw this:


Inside was this:


I opened up the bag and found this:


The beautiful components to make a flower like the one Terri made at the top of the photo! Isn’t that the best idea? It is the perfect thing for someone like me, away from home and my studio, without access to everything I have there. (I’m so happy I threw some glue in the boxes I sent here!)

Thank you, Terri. Terri is enormously talented, by the way. I continually gasp every time I see one of her creations. If you haven’t visited her wonderful blog, you must!

Have a happy Saturday.

Love and Loss

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Yesterday would have been my brother’s 63rd birthday. He died in 1991 at the age of 44. There are four of us kids. Dave was the eldest, then me, then my two sisters. He fought long and hard against the illness that ravaged him and we were devastated when he left us. I miss him every day. Yesterday was also his youngest son’s birthday – so young when Dave died, now a husband and a father of a beautiful baby girl.

Love and loss. Those two words have consumed my thoughts lately. In any given moment, I find myself thinking of those I have lost – recently and 19 years ago. I’ve had to fly across the country to work, leaving my husband behind as he is mourning the loss of his father. It is too soon for me to be away. And now I am here, in San Diego, where my father-in-law and two of my great friends lived. My father-in-law died first, then within a week or so, Craig and Raul left us. I attended a memorial for one of them last Monday. There will be another memorial to attend on May 24th.

At the theater, every place I look is full of memories of my friends. The rehearsal hall, the offices, the theater – I spent countless hours with them here. When I am lucky enough to run into someone who has worked at the theater for a long time, our conversation turns to memories of these dear men. There are memories in every wall, prop, table, and stage.

This is the first time I have traveled back to San Diego that my father-in-law isn’t here. Or Craig. Or Raul. It is a bittersweet time. I miss them. I miss my brother. I grieve.

Yes, there are wonderful memories. Yes, I can smile at humorous remembrances. But more than anything, I feel a deep sadness. My brother’s birthday seems to have intensified that sadness, that grief.

Thank you for letting me share my thoughts – for giving me a safe place to write what is in my heart.

Lambs Like to Party

Lambs Like to Party

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