We’re getting a ton of rain today and tonight – close to 2 inches – once again, the remnants of the storm that has wreaked havoc in the south.
Yesterday, I was feeling down. Everything going on in the world – the invasion of Ukraine, the devastation there, genocide, war crimes, climate change, the GOP which is now the party of Putin and fascism – all of it was constantly in my thoughts. That’s not new, but it was particularly strong yesterday.
To give myself some sort of task, I cleaned out two drawers in the little table next to my chair. Something constructive to do.
And I came across this:
Newborn baby Claudia – maybe a little over a month old?
My dear, beautiful brother with his holster and toy guns. A child of the 50s.
My mom, clearly tired, but dressed up for the photo.
My handsome dad with a rarely seen bow tie.
Barkcloth curtains. Where did they end up?
My brother David has been gone for 30 years.
Mom left us 7 years ago.
Dad left 6 years ago.
So bittersweet. I found myself missing my brother so much. He would be 74 now, 75 next month. What would he look like today? Grandchildren he never got to meet. Spouses of his three children never met. I want to reach inside that photo and hug that beautiful boy.
It would be 8 years until another child came along – that would be L, my sister who has estranged herself from everyone in the family, including cousins, nieces and nephews.
Then another 3 years until my dearest Meredith came along. My brother was 17 years old when my mom was pregnant with Mere.
It’s Mere and me now.
I miss him. I miss them.
I’ve been thinking how horrified my dad would be by the rise of nationalism and fascism, the very evils he fought against when he went to war at the age of 18.
This little photo was designed to be put in a wallet. I don’t know where I got it – from Gram? From my parents? I’m not sure.
Yes, I look very much like my mother – except for my brown eyes, which come from my Dad.
__________________________
We’re getting our Covid boosters this morning. Times have changed – we went online this morning and got the appointments for the same day.
So I’m prepping for the nap that will come later. That seems to be my reaction to the shots – crashing in the middle of the afternoon.
Stay safe.
Happy Thursday.
A beautiful family picture and yes, bittersweet. Your parents made a handsome couple! And you look very much like your mother. I had to smile at your brother’s holster and guns. I have my husband’s packed away in the garage.
We’re having the same torrential rain that you are here in North Jersey. I planned on a trip to Shop Rite today, but it can wait!
The rain was insane! I’m glad it’s finally stopped, Judy.
Stay safe.
That’s an awesome picture,a reminder of days gone by when people dressed up for special occasions.
I understand your feelings,my parents died 2 years apart in the 60s,I was 12 & 14,strange as it sounds I don’t remember much about them
The love of my life will be gone 16 years Monday,and the opposite of above my mind is in that hospital room,brain cancer isn’t a nice way to go.
I think the damp,gray weather makes us melancholy.
Have a good Thursday
You’ve suffered so much loss, Pat – and you lost your parents at a young age. I’m so sorry.
Sending you a big hug.
Stay safe.
We got our second boosters Monday and were perhaps a bit tired and achey Tuesday but nothing debilitating, so a nap sounds perfect.
ceci
Yes, same reactions here. Don seems to have a stronger reaction than I do.
Stay safe, Ceci.
I love that picture! Your brother looks so happy to have a new sister. We have to make appointments for the boosters too. I also slept after the first booster. Storms, dark clouds and Putin. He is the darkest of them all. I am going to a craft store and lunch with a friend today. Very normal stuff. I don’t need anything, but she needs to get a few things and the weather is supposed to be nice. I need a day out.
Or he was happy to have a new holster and guns. More likely!
It’s good to get out and visit a happy place, Tana.
Stay safe.
We’re having a dark and stormy day, too, lightning and thunder as I’m typing this. Thank goodness it waited for us to get home from chemo before pouring down rain.
That is such a sweet picture. (You DO look like your mom.) I also had cap guns and holsters, red cowboy hat, fringed vest and skirt, and boots. It was required of us, children of the fifties. Your brother would have been two years ahead of us in school—the big kids we looked up to. Did he go to Vietnam? Our oldest son has been gone for nearly thirty years and I still think about him and miss him every day…you just do.
We haven’t had our second boosters yet. I could go, but Fred is battling shingles right now and is contagious they say, although he’s still going in for chemo. ?? One hurdle at a time, I guess.
I had an Annie Oakley gun! Dave and I used to play cowboys and Indians in the basement.
No, Dave didn’t go to Vietnam. He was in college and had a deferment.
Yes, it seems impossible that our loved ones have been gone so long – that your son has been gone so long.
Love to Fred and I hope he recovers from shingles quickly. Thinking of you both.
Stay safe, Shanna.
What a beautiful family!
Thank you, Jenny.
Stay safe.
I’ve been doing a fair bit of sorting through drawers and closets over the course of the last month for much the same reasons – feeling overwhelmed with the state of things around the world. The things one finds, and the memories which coming rushing to the surface have been joyful and bittersweet. It’s been a good distraction and it feels good to have restored a bit of order in my immediate surroundings.
Lovely photo and you do look like your mother.
Had my 2nd booster last Friday (April 1), and had only a moderately sore arm afterwards for only 24 hours or so. Mildest post-vaccine reaction for me to date.
And yes, scheduling the appointment online was such an easy task this time around.
Wishing you & Don a good afternoon and mild post-vaccine reactions.
Don feels a big achey and tired, but that is his usual reaction. My arm is less sore than usual. I did have a weird numbness in my lower lip last night but it’s gone today.
Stay safe, Amy.
Boosters 👍👍👍 and very lovely nap weather it is too 🙂
It is always such a tug at the heart (but so amazing also) to come across a surprise like that! But what a gift these things are. I have a similar story…so I get it. Yes, bittersweet indeed.
Stay well you two
Xo
Very bittersweet. But it was also good to linger on memories of my brother.
Thanks so much, Naomi.
Stay safe.
dear Claudia/Don — what a precious find — you indeed have the look of your mom — very lovely. It is good to remember. we have had our gson here this week — he is such a delightful young man!! of course, he is our only gson so I maybe just a little biased, haha!! we have loved every minute — BUT have you ever tried to fill up a teenage boy???? an impossible task, haha!! hope your recovery from boosters is swift, but take care anyway. stay safe/healthy
Teenage boys can outeat all of us!
Stay safe, Linda.
I did instantly think to myself, “Claudia looks like her mother in the picture.” Strong family genes; hard family loss. I didn’t realize that there were eleven years between you and your sister in Florida. When I was at that age, like 11-13, I so yearned for a new baby in our family but it wasn’t to be although Mom definitely wanted a third child; she had a medical condition in pregnancy and the doctors at the time said, no more kids; that’s it for you. I had a little brother but I also always longed for a sister because I felt like she’d be the best friend/gal pal, ever!
I am quite a bit older than both of my sisters and I loved helping my mom take care of them. They were the delight of my youth.
Stay safe, Vicki.
I love family photos like that. It IS bittersweet, looking at those times and knowing those people we loved are no longer with us. I’ve been on photo-album-sorting-project (scanning and sending the originals to the people in them and tossing all the sunsets and flower photos from 1984!). So many things I want to share with my mom and dad — especially mom, because she died when I was quite young. Isn’t it lovely to look like both parents? I do, too.
My infectious disease doc told me to try to wait till May when they expect the new variant-oriented vaccine to be out before I boost. I will try and lay low, but I also may cave and get it if it looks like something I really want to do comes up before then. It’s always hard to decide. Part of me wants it yesterday! And I don’t doubt him… I’ll just have to wait for a few more weeks and if nothing is on the horizon, go for it. I’ve laid low this long!
I’m sorry to hear your mother died when you were young, Jeanie. Heartbreaking.
I haven’t heard anything about any new vaccine, but hey, we’re boosted!
Stay safe.
David was like a movie star to me. He was so handsome and nice. Very sad to lose him much to early. Shirley looks so beautiful but yes she must have been exhausted.
Good for you on getting the second booster. I guess I need to think about that.
He was extremely handsome, wasn’t he? Tall, handsome, and funny. I miss him.
Thanks so much, Kay.
Stay safe.