Though I’m passionate about blogging and love the discipline of writing every day, there are the rare mornings where I feel foggy and have a hard time coming up with some idea that is blog-worthy. Where I don’t have the desire to pick up my camera and roam the house, looking for something that will spark an idea for a post. Where my morning cup of coffee has turned into three cups and I still don’t know what the heck I will write about.

Since I write a post every day, 365 days a year, it’s inevitable. I know a lot of bloggers plan their posts out ahead of time. I am not one of them. Since MHC is a daily journal of my life, I obviously can’t write about what just happened or is about to happen a week or two weeks before it actually happens. So, though I might have an idea the night before I post about what I might tackle the next day, often I don’t. I fly by the seat of my pants.

Every blogger works hard to shape their content, to define the blog, to give it her/his personal stamp. This doesn’t happen overnight, it takes time. Time to find your voice, time to find what works and doesn’t work, time to define the boundaries of what you will and won’t do. I’ve been blogging for nearly six years (in February) and I have wrestled, along the way, with these questions: should I have ads, should I try to be a ‘big blogger,’ should I narrow my blog into that niche blog territory that might get me more readers and more ad income. The niche question was contemplated for about one minute. I am interested in far more than one narrow category and I wouldn’t be true to myself if I did that. I’d also be bored out of my mind. And that took care of the big blogger question, because most big bloggers are niche bloggers. Not all, but most.

I have a definite idea of what this blog should be, what I will and won’t do, and where I draw the proverbial line in the sand. I earn a very, very modest amount of money from my ads. I would dearly love to earn more. (I want to be the one who pays for our health insurance.) I stress over the placement of ads within the blog. I choose not to have a big banner ad over my header, though I know it will bring in more money. I think that type of ad makes the blog look too commercial and that is something I don’t want. BlogHer has some changes they are going to implement and I might have to go with a very narrow rectangular ad right above the beginning of my content instead of the tower-like ads that are currently on the sidebar – we’ll see.

One of the latest forms of income that BlogHer and, I’m sure, other advertisers have offered is the one that highlights certain words in a post. If your cursor passes over that word, a link or a photo link will pop up. They are supposed to be potentially lucrative.

But, I don’t like them. I find them intrusive and irritating because I often find my cursor hitting one of the dreaded links. An ad will pop up and, instead of reading the post, my train of thought will be stopped as I deal with the annoying ad. And the very look of the highlighted word of text looks sort of spammy to me. If I feel that way, then I’m pretty sure some of my readers will also feel that way.

Please understand, I’m not criticizing anyone else for implementing that type of ad or any other type of ad. Go for it; do what is right for you. Many bloggers are trying to earn a living from blogging. I get it.

It’s just not right for me, that’s all.

What to do? Go for something more lucrative or stay true to my ‘line in the sand?” I have learned to never say never, but really? I have to go with my gut. And my gut says no. That’s not me and it’s not my blog.

I’m so proud of this blog. As of today, I have written over 1,615 posts (the first few years I only posted about 3 times a week.) I started with some very cautious and tentative dips of my writing toes into the waters of blogging. Over time, I have discovered my voice and, thanks to all of you, found my audience. I really think of this blog as my baby and I have done my best to shape it into something I am proud of.

I’ll probably still wrestle with some decisions as I go forward. But I promise to go with my gut, with what my heart tells me is right.

Happy Sunday.

This commitment of mine, to post on this blog every day, has been a wonderful discipline. But it has its challenges. My posts are always my original content. No guest posts, no pictures from elsewhere on the internet, and now, no weekly parties. It’s all me, for better or worse. How do I come up with a post every day of the year?

At times, I already have the idea for a post swirling around in my brain. Most of the time, however, I fly by the seat of my pants. After a little coffee, a cursory reading of my email and the New York Times online, as well as a few of my favorite blogs, I am forced to contemplate just what the heck I’m going to write about that day.

Often a thought or feeling from the day before will surface as I write. Yesterday’s post about bullying is an example. I started writing about Louise Penny and then I remembered my anger and frustration the day before with some of the reactions to the alleged bullying within the Miami Dolphins organization and I knew those feelings had to be expressed. So, my thoughts on that subject ended up being the closing words of the post.

Or, as happened the day before: I started writing about my potted plants dying and the process of accepting the transition into cold weather and I typed the words: “That does not make Claudia a happy camper.” The word ‘camper’ jumped out at me from my computer screen and I suddenly found myself writing about being a camp counselor oh-so-many years ago and the friendships that came out of that experience, which morphed into the similarities between that experience and the experience of being in a play. Which morphed into the realization that the plays I recently coached are closing this weekend and the actors are having to deal with goodbyes after making new friends during the course of their experience.

Sometimes I take some pictures that I know will be the theme for the next day’s post and the writing springs from the photos. That happened earlier in the week when Don and I took a late afternoon walk on a beautiful Sunday.

Then there are those posts I know I have to write. I knew I had to write about decorating and the competitive aspect of it that seems to be surfacing in this blog world of ours. I got up that morning absolutely sure I had to write that post.

Or the post I knew I had to write about our estranged sister. It was a long time coming and the process of writing it was cathartic and, ultimately, healing. It also turned out to be cathartic for all of you, as you shared your stories about lost family members. I love when that happens.

Sometimes, I write in a sort of ‘stream of consciousness’ – thoughts flowing freely with very little editing. At other times, the process can be laborious, with editing going on long after I’ve published the post.

Occasionally, I know I have a book review scheduled for that day, so the subject matter is a given. But I still have to write the review, making sure my thoughts are clear, giving enough information to my readers for them to make an informed choice, trying to be fair, yet honest. That’s a whole other challenge.

And sometimes, I just want happy. Happy dog, happy flowers, pretty pictures, pretty things.

This blog is a journal. Simple as that. It’s the first time in my life that I’ve been successful at writing a diary. Previous attempts were futile. But somehow this combination of taking photos and writing for an audience has turned out to be the key that unlocked that door. I have to write every day. I have to pull something out of my daily jumble of thoughts that might be interesting, that might be something to focus on, but must always be written from my heart.

Today I woke up not feeling well. I still don’t feel well. And I thought, “What the heck am I going to write? How am I going to come up with something?” And this post emerged from what I was absolutely sure was a blank space that couldn’t be filled.

You never know.

Happy Sunday.