Mockingbird Hill Cottage

Mockingbird Hill Cottage

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You are here: Home / Archives for Dad

Missing Mom

February 7, 2024 at 9:20 am by Claudia

Shot from inside Don’s car as we drove to the library for our walk.

It’s been cold, but sunny. In fact, the sun is deceiving! You think it’s going to be warmer than it is. I noticed some green shoots emerging from the ground when we were walking around the library. It’s too early for spring, but the bulbs underground seem to think it isn’t.

I’ve been thinking about my mom and missing her. I always miss her, but I think working on the Shirley Temple doll has brought her to the forefront of my mind. When I was growing up, we watched old movies together and she knew all about the actors and directors. She was an encyclopedia of movie lore. When Don and I are watching an old movie and I provide the name of an actor or director or some obscure bit of information on the film, Don will often ask “How do you know  that??” I often respond that “I just know it,” but when I really think about it, I realize I know about it because of my mom. The same thing occurs with a lot of  music, especially songs of the  30s, 40s, and 50s. I know an awful lot about the popular music of those decades.

As with all of our parents, mom grew up in a time where there were movies and radio. That’s it. You went to the movie theater to see a movie. You listened to shows on the radio. There was no streaming, no television, none of that. So movies were everything.

I miss chatting with her about that. Even in her later years, I would often call her to ask her about something or other, knowing she would most likely know the answer. A few weeks ago, Don and I turned on TCM and ended up watching the last half of the movie version of the Broadway musical “Bells are Ringing.” (Side note: it was not a very good adaptation.) But, that movie was one I frequently watched with my mom and it starred the late, great Judy Holliday. I remember Mom telling me that Judy died tragically young and that every time she heard Judy sing “The Party’s Over” she would cry. The sadness of the song coupled with the fact that Judy died from breast cancer at the age of 43 would make mom weep. And, all these years later, it does the same thing to me. I cannot hear that song without tearing up. What an enormous loss. That leads my thought to my brother’s death at 44. And round and round I go. Of course, when mom told me about Holliday, she had no idea she would lose her son one day at nearly the same age.

After seeing the movie, I pulled out the original Broadway cast recording, and I’ve been listening to it off and on. It’s all about a woman who works for an answering service, so it isn’t performed nowadays as much as it deserves. And if it is, it must take place in the same period in which it was written. It has a score by Betty Comden and Adolph Greene, who performed with Judy in a comedy group called The Revuers when they were young, sometimes accompanied by Leonard Bernstein. A gift for their old pal. Her leading man was Sydney Chaplin, the son of Charlie Chaplin, who was also the original Nicky Arnstein in Funny Girl.

But I digress. I miss those chats with mom. I miss talking to my dad, as well. I know this feeling is universal: I wish I could pick up the phone and call my parents. I sometimes – for a brief millisecond – think “Oh, I’ll just call mom and ask her.” For one moment, I step out of the time construct and forget she is no longer here.

Don and I have been having conversations off and on about questions we wish we had asked our parents. If only we could go back in time and ask them. And why didn’t  we think to ask them??

I wish, I wish, I wish.

Some thoughts for today.

Stay safe.

Happy Wednesday.

 

 

Filed Under: Dad, mom 44 Comments

Painting

August 12, 2023 at 8:24 am by Claudia

We are at the end of our first week on the new blog posting schedule. It’s worked out very well for me. Though I loved the discipline of writing every day, having three days free at this point has been very nice indeed. I still have to write ‘Blog’ and ‘No Blog’ in my planner, but it will soon become habit.

So remember (if you somehow missed my post about the change) Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday are the days I’ll be posting. I will not post on Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday.

For the past three days, I’ve been working on a painting based on a photo I took of one of the roses in the memorial garden. I’m more pleased with it than I thought I would be! It’s still very much ‘in progress.’

Here’s what I have so far:

I’ve just sketched in the leaves as they were in the photo.

I find I love – just as I did with the Pottery series – the process of adding and subtracting and refining that comes with a little time away from the painting. I often discover that I’ve been looking at a portion of the subject the wrong way, that I’ve been missing a little detail.

A big bonus: I tend to lose myself in the process. I think there’s no better feeling than that.

I was going to paint upstairs in the office but it’s a bit too warm up there in the summertime and I find I like painting at the kitchen table. Don is usually around, often strumming his guitar, and I like knowing he’s there. There’s a shared creative energy in the space. Plus, the light is much better in the kitchen, which has windows on every wall.

I am a beginning explorer of this medium, someone who grew up feeling that my talents were focused elsewhere, that Dad and a couple of my siblings had the talent for this particular medium, not me. That was fine, because I knew I was a singer and an actor and that I would make my living in the theater someday. I knew I’d been blessed.

But I can’t help thinking how chuffed my dad would be to see me playing with paint. I often think of him during these sessions. I miss him.

And to add to that, we began watching another Nordic series last night and one of the lead actors looked so much like my brother that it momentarily took my breath away. He could be his twin.

I miss him, too.

Stay safe.

Happy Saturday.

 

Filed Under: Dad, Dave, oil painting 36 Comments

Bittersweet Memories

April 7, 2022 at 8:33 am by Claudia

We’re getting a ton of rain today and tonight – close to 2 inches – once again, the remnants of the storm that has wreaked havoc in the south.

Yesterday, I was feeling down. Everything going on in the world – the invasion of Ukraine, the devastation there, genocide, war crimes, climate change, the GOP which is now the party of Putin and fascism – all of it was constantly in my thoughts. That’s not new, but it was particularly strong yesterday.

To give myself some sort of task, I cleaned out two drawers in the little table next to my chair. Something constructive to do.

And I came across this:

Newborn baby Claudia – maybe a little over a month old?

My dear, beautiful brother with his holster and toy guns. A child of the 50s.

My mom, clearly tired, but dressed up for the photo.

My handsome dad with a rarely seen bow tie.

Barkcloth curtains. Where did they end up?

My brother David has been gone for 30 years.

Mom left us 7 years ago.

Dad left 6 years ago.

So bittersweet. I found myself missing my brother so much. He would be 74 now, 75 next month. What would he look like today? Grandchildren he never got to meet. Spouses of his three children never met. I want to reach inside that photo and hug that beautiful boy.

It would be 8 years until another child came along – that would be L, my sister who has estranged herself from everyone in the family, including cousins, nieces and nephews.

Then another 3 years until my dearest Meredith came along. My brother was 17 years old when my mom was pregnant with Mere.

It’s Mere and me now.

I miss him. I miss them.

I’ve been thinking how horrified my dad would be by the rise of nationalism and fascism, the very evils he fought against when he went to war at the age of 18.

This little photo was designed to be put in a wallet. I don’t know where I got it – from Gram? From my parents? I’m not sure.

Yes, I look very much like my mother – except for my brown eyes, which come from my Dad.

__________________________

We’re getting our Covid boosters this morning. Times have changed – we went online this morning and got the appointments for the same day.

So I’m prepping for the nap that will come later. That seems to be my reaction to the shots – crashing in the middle of the afternoon.

Stay safe.

Happy Thursday.

 

Filed Under: Dad, Dave, Meredith, mom 24 Comments

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Welcome!

Welcome!

I live in a little cottage in the country with my husband. It's a sweet place, sheltered by old trees and surrounded by gardens. The inside is full of the things we love. I love to write, I love my camera, I love creating, I love gardening. My decorating style is eclectic; full of vintage and a bit of whimsy.

I've worked in the theater for more years than I can count. I'm currently a voice, speech, dialect and text coach freelancing on Broadway, off Broadway, and in regional theater.

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