We had a hard frost overnight. When I checked the weather app this morning, it was 31 degrees. As the skies lightened, I saw all the leaves falling from the Catalpa. They stay green until a frost.
It hit me hard. We had just walked around the property yesterday, admiring the catalpas and the oaks and the maples. The forecast for the rest of the month doesn’t show any nights that will go below freezing. This has happened before, of course, but this time, when I started to talk to Don about it, I started crying.
I think the nightmare that has been 2020 and the ongoing stress I feel – that we all feel – has resulted in me feeling these changes more acutely. I mourn the passing of summer and I mourn fall seemingly winding down too soon. The thought of winter and the darkness and the bare trees and the snow is always hard for me to handle. This year, I guess it’s just harder than normal.
I’m usually a fairly positive person. But I’ll admit it. The combination of this disgusting administration and the heartbreaking loss of life to the coronavirus, the fact that an estimated 150,000 of those lives could have been saved if OM had done his damn job, the upcoming election, the racism and the misogyny and the xenophobia and the Supreme Court and the complete complicity of the GOP – I’m sure I’ve left something out – has left me depressed and disheartened.
I’m no different than anyone else, of course. But I realized that the frost and the catalpa leaves falling triggered a sadness I was trying to bury in order to stay positive. I’ll be fine. I’m texting EVERY DAY for Biden up to and through November 3rd. That’s my job right now. Don is doing the same, though he does phone banking.
It always helps me to write this kind of thing down. It’s cathartic.
I found another piece of Petite Princess furniture in my stash and it’s now in another room in the vintage dollhouse. Slowly but surely, a piece or two of 3/4 scale furniture will be added to each of the rooms. Spare, not too much. That mirror on the wall is the only ‘furnishing’ that had survived by the time I got the house. It’s right where it was when I first saw it and it will stay there.
Stay safe.
Happy Sunday.