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You are here: Home / Archives for life

On a Marriage

February 8, 2014 at 9:29 am by Claudia

The view around here lately:

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snowybirdbath

cattracks

icicle

In order: a snowy coneflower, a snowy birdbath, cat tracks on our porch, and an icicle just outside our upstairs bathroom window.

Don left yesterday morning and I confess to having a bad case of the blues the rest of the day. My little girl was also in a funk. Even this morning, she keeps looking for him. It breaks my heart.

I miss him.

Believe me, I’m no expert on marriage. I only know that Don and I have a great marriage that just gets better with time. After last year when we were away from each other for a total of seven months, being together every day for the last four months has been simply wonderful. I am profoundly grateful for our relationship, for our marriage. And I’m proud of it.

We often find ourselves saying something like “I’m so lucky I found you”. Or “How did we get so lucky?”

But really, I’m going to stop saying that. Luck had nothing to do with it. Both of us made mistakes before we met each other. Both of us had ‘issues.’ Both of us felt fear. Both of us were afraid of commitment. Both of us were vulnerable. But we were willing to change our patterns, to try a new way, to take a risk and learn and grow and say I’m sorry and say I love you and face our deepest fears.

That isn’t luck. That’s hard work.

I successfully avoided marriage until I was in my forties. I wasn’t ready to commit and I knew it. If I had married in my younger years, I would have been divorced. I was self-aware enough to know that truth about myself in the years before I met Don. In addition to that, I have never been someone who fell prey to the pressure to be part of a couple. I didn’t need a man to ‘complete me’ or validate me as a woman. Somewhere along the way in my youth, I learned that. I held fast to that.

It was a new and challenging and somewhat scary wrinkle when Don came into my life.  Did I want to get involved? Wouldn’t it be easier not to? Of course. But I knew this guy was special and I had a glimmer, just a glimmer, of what might be. I had to open a door and slowly let him in. I was a fully functioning, happy adult woman before I met Don. He simply added another wonderful dimension to my life, one that I never take for granted and one that has enriched my life ever since the day we met.

Love isn’t enough. I humbly submit that there must be mutual respect as well. And liking. I like my husband. If for some reason we hadn’t fallen in love, he would still be my friend. He is my friend.

And Trust. Oh, there has to be trust. I wouldn’t give a fig for a relationship without trust.

We’ve worked hard at this relationship. We work hard on our marriage.

Not all marriages are happy. I know that. I’ve seen many of my friends divorce. There’s been divorce in my immediate family. Sometimes people grow apart or betray each other or get married for the wrong reasons. I think so many people get married for the wrong reasons, leaving an opening, a gap, where there is space for an affair or indifference or dislike or lack of trust to slowly insert its malignancy into the fabric of the marriage.

You know, I’ve never been one to sit around with other women and bash my husband, whether it’s purely playful or deadly serious. I’ve never understood that. I don’t feel comfortable making fun of either my husband or our marriage. It’s an easy laugh, I guess, but at what cost? I respect my husband too much for that. I know, every day, that I am blessed by the presence of this man in my life, by our marriage.

As Don says, it’s the thing I’m the most proud of. It’s our proudest accomplishment.

And you know what? Luck had nothing to do with it.

Happy Saturday.

ClaudiaSignature140X93

 

Filed Under: Don, life, marriage 79 Comments

Book Review: The Fixer by T. E. Woods

February 5, 2014 at 9:34 am by Claudia

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Hello everyone. Today I am reviewing The Fixer by T. E. Woods for TLC Book Tours. Note: The Fixer is only available as a digital book. As always, I am provided with a copy of the book in exchange for my honest review.

About the book:  Never a doubt. Never a mistake. Always for justice. Never for revenge. She’s the person you hire when you need something fixed – permanently. With a strict set of criteria, she evaluates every request and chooses only a few. No more than one job per country per year. She will only step in if it’s clear that justice will not be served any other way. Her jobs are completed with skill and precision, and never result in inquiry or police investigation. The Fixer is invisible – and quite deadly.

In the office of a clinical psychologist in Olympia, Washington, a beautiful young woman is in terrible emotional pain. She puts up walls, tells lies, and seems to speak in riddles, but the doctor is determined to help her heal, despite the fact that she claims to have hurt many people. As their sessions escalate, the psychologist feels compelled to reach out to the police…but it might be too late.

In Seattle, a detective gets a call from his son. A dedicated journalist, he wants his father’s expertise as he looks into a suspicious death. Together they follow the trail of leads toward a stone-cold hired killer – only to find that death has been closer than either could have imagined.

My review: The Fixer is an interesting and, at times, riveting read. The premise, the whole idea of The Fixer, is something that I can see as the storyline in a screenplay or television series. That sort of ‘taking justice into one’s own hands’ idea is the stuff of fantasies – the hope that justice will finally be served. There are compelling characters here –  Lydia, the psychologist, Mort, the grieving police detective, a university president, the woman who is Lydia’s patient. Their stories are interwoven, but it takes some time for them to make sense in connection to each other. This requires some patience on the part of the reader, as Woods lays down the plot in a methodical manner. The exposition is slow going. Nevertheless, I hung in there and it was worth it.

There are twists and turns and a couple of rather big surprises. The characters are well written, the setting in the Pacific Northwest is well drawn. It’s an intriguing premise that raises questions about the morality of becoming a vigilante, for that is what The Fixer is. Where does one draw the line? And what emotional price is paid for these acts?

There were a few places in the novel where I either missed something or where I suspect the dots weren’t fully connected. I still have some questions that I don’t think were fully answered.

There are a few rather graphic scenes and one specifically involving animals that I had to skip over because it were too hard for me to read. Just giving you a heads up.

This is the first book in a series that T. E. Woods is writing and I look forward to more in the series.

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About the author: T. E. Woods is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Madison, Wisconsin. Her scientific writings are well represented in peer-reviewed journals and academic texts. Her literary works earned her first place for Fiction at the University of Wisconsin Writer’s Institute. Dr. Woods enjoys kayaking, hiking, biking, and hanging around the house as her two dogs help her make sense of the world. Her habit of relaxing by conjuring up any manner of diabolical murder methods and plots often finds her friends urging her to take up knitting.

Giveaway: This giveaway will be different than my normal book giveaway. It is being done through Rafflecopter.

The Grand Prize is a $25 e-giftcard to the winner’s book e-tailer of choice & a NetGalley review copy of The Fixer and the next book in the series, The Red-Hot Fix.

First Prize is Mystery Prize Pack: 5 assorted print mystery novels from the Random House Publishing Group.

 

 
a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Filed Under: life, TLC Book Review 6 Comments

Just Click Your Heels

January 29, 2014 at 8:57 am by Claudia

It’s no secret that I love the color red.

When I was a little girl, I would come home from the Bookmobile carrying a pile of books with red covers.

There are pops of red all over my house. I have red shades in the kitchen, a red bench with red and white and tan cushions. I have a chair in the living room with red and white checked cushions, a little lamp with a red shade. In the den? A red and green and tan floor rug, red pillows on the sofa and a crocheted throw with lots of red in it.

I’ve somehow managed to make red work with the sherbety McCoy colors that I love so much.

Red is also a big part of my blog design.

Being a ‘Winter’, I look good in red, especially deeper, richer reds.

And oh boy, do I love a pair of red shoes. When I look back at my life in shoes, some of my absolute favorites were red. A few years back, I bought a pair of MaryJane type shoes in red. I bought them online, so it was a bit of a risk. They never fit right. I was so disappointed! And as I have grown older, comfort is my first requirement in a pair of shoes. Arch support and cushioning and comfort; that’s what I go for.

Yesterday, Don and I went on an errand. We were looking for a frame or two. So we drove south to Michael’s where we found two out of the three frames we were looking for. I suggested that we go to HomeGoods (in the same shopping center) to look for the third frame. Right next door to HomeGoods was a shoe store and I remarked to Don that they looked like they carried what I call ‘healthy shoes.’ Comfortable, designed for ease, well made, etc. He suggested we go inside. Since I am constantly complaining about not having enough shoes that fit (my feet have grown a size in the last few years,) he was thinking that maybe I could find some snow boots that fit. My boots are too small, yet I wear them every time I shovel. Quite frankly, spending money on boots doesn’t thrill me and I keep hoping I can make it through this winter using my old boots. So boots? Not on my Want List.

Then I saw these:

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Insert sound of Choirs of Angels.

Oh my goodness.

They had them in my size.

They are made in Italy and they have cushioning like you wouldn’t believe. They have great arch support. They are beautifully made. (And they also make me even taller than I already am.)

Don made me get them. I would have said no because they weren’t on sale. They weren’t at a deep discount. Too frivolous. Too many other things we could use that money for.

He wouldn’t listen. He said that he loved them and that I clearly loved them. And that I needed shoes that fit. That made me happy.

redshoelove

These shoes make me happy. They make me smile.

They’re my favorite shoes, ever.

I feel guilty for buying them. Every time I start to say something about that, Don shushes me. He says, “Just say I love my new shoes and I deserve them.”

So okay. “I love my new shoes and I deserve them.”

But what about the money we spent?

Sssh. “I love my new shoes and I deserve them.”

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Don took this photo with his iPhone. While I’d love a pair of red cowboy boots, they aren’t the most comfortable things for me to wear with their narrow toe box, so I guess these are my version of red cowboy boots.

Who would have thought I’d be writing about a pair of shoes?

But they’re red shoes.

Enough said.

By the way, I have a couple of sponsored posts coming up in the next week (both for things I recommend highly), as well as two book reviews – somehow all of these commitments ended up having due dates around the same time. Just giving you a heads up.

Link to Spring Step’s website, where you can order the shoes.

Happy Wednesday.

ClaudiaSignature140X93

Filed Under: life, red 119 Comments

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Welcome!

Welcome!

I live in a little cottage in the country with my husband. It's a sweet place, sheltered by old trees and surrounded by gardens. The inside is full of the things we love. I love to write, I love my camera, I love creating, I love gardening. My decorating style is eclectic; full of vintage and a bit of whimsy.

I've worked in the theater for more years than I can count. I'm currently a voice, speech, dialect and text coach freelancing on Broadway, off Broadway, and in regional theater.

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