From about a week ago. Look at that sweet face!
Well, my friends, yesterday was not pretty. I was short tempered, everything was making me angry, Don was making me angry, I felt my blood pressure going up. I finally realized that my tamped down anger and rage over the election results had finally emerged – full blown. It had taken me a while to realize that it wasn’t just ‘being in a bad mood.’ Far from it.
That rage took over the day and I couldn’t fight it off. I finally told Don what I thought was happening. I apologized for being tough on him. And I asked for help. Asking for help is not easy for a perfectionist like me. But I knew Don would understand and wouldn’t judge me. (Heavens, I’m lucky!) He talked me down a bit, and he also realized that I was most likely spending too much time scrolling through the news on Threads. He was right. I was enraged. I am enraged. But I can’t stay in that place because it’s not healthy. I finally read a bit right before dinner. After dinner, as we settled down to watch an old movie, I ditched my chair and the heating pad and sat right next to Don. He put his arm around me and halfway through the movie, I fell asleep for a bit. I felt all of the turbulent emotions of the day leave. And I slept well last night.
Today, I’ll do my best to just be, here at home, with Don. In our safe space.
It’s perfectly fine to let those emotions out, even thought I was in an uncomfortable place all day long. In the end, I felt like I went through a purge, a cleansing, something that was necessary to move forward and resist in a healthy manner.
Advice of a sort: let yourself feel it all. Then you can let it go and be productive.
It’s a little less cold today and the skies are sunny. I might be able to remove the tarp that is currently sheltering my porch plants. I’m hoping for at least another week with them.
Stay safe.
Happy Saturday,