Oh, my friends. Your comments on my blog anniversary post touched me so. Many of them brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for caring, thank you for loving this little blog of mine.
Believe me, I am wrestling with this decision. Nothing is final. As I said in the post, I may decide to keep going. Where I am right now might be very different from where I am later in the year. While Don and I are blessed with a beautiful life together, the fact is – and I usually don’t speak about this, because why talk about it? – we are depressed about lack of work. Don has not worked since before lockdown. Actually, he hasn’t worked since Margaritaville closed. That’s over 5 years. Unlike most of you, we have a hefty mortgage to pay since we were not able to buy a home until we were in our mid-fifties. And though I just worked, there’s nothing on the horizon and, as you know, I am paid less and less for my work simply because theaters are cutting back. I won’t go into all of that again because I’ve spoken about it recently. Don tries to stay positive because that’s who he is, but it’s been very hard on him. But, though we do feel down sometimes, we are usually positive and grateful for our blessings.
Anyway, not a whole lot is happening because of all of that. We want to work, but we don’t have any control over that. All of this goes into my tentative decision: not a lot to share, not much happening, feeling like our careers are ending without it being our decision, as well as the fact that I’ve written a copious amount of words over 16 years. 5000 posts with an average word count of 600 words = 3,000,000 words. Yikes!
But I love my connection to all of you and the community we have here. So I may get further into the year and realize that I can’t give it up yet. But I wanted to be honest with you and share what I’ve been thinking about the life of this blog. So don’t panic yet, okay? We are praying that work comes to us – especially to Don. He needs to work. I’ll write a post in the near future about the changing landscape of the theater and film and its impact on us.
Someone suggested getting a dog. Believe me, we talk about this frequently but neither of us is ready for another dog yet. Or when one of us feels ready, the other doesn’t. We have loved all our dogs, but the loss of Scoutie – our magical girl – changed everything for us. We haven’t recovered. I’m crying as I write about her.
I firmly believe that when/if it’s time to adopt another dog, we’ll know.
Anyway, enough of that. The sun is shining, though it’s very cold out there. We took a walk yesterday and BRRRR! But, we did it. It’s good for us and it lifts our mood. Stella needs a good clean and I’m going to start on that today. The towels need to be washed and the houseplants watered. And spring is just around the corner.
Love you.
Stay safe.
Happy Monday.
