I’m not going to lie. I’m more than a bit down-in-the-dumps this week.
It’s been a tough one for me. It’s all too overwhelming at the moment. I still believe in concentrating all my energy on fighting for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. I think that will be a bit easier now that the travesty that went on for four nights at the People’s House, The White House, is over.
Yesterday, after we journeyed to the grocery store and racked up a big bill (we were out of all sorts of things, including sundries and cleaning supplies, etc.) we came home, disinfected everything, made some lunch and then we attended a webinar from the Screen Actors Guild and AFTRA about the changes to health insurance that are going into effect January 1st. Our SAG insurance is supplemental to Medicare. The webinar was very well done and informative, but the end result is that we will have more work to do in deciding what plan, etc., than we did before. Hopefully we can pick a plan that doesn’t involve an increase in our premium because, believe me, we can’t afford it. That being said, we are so fortunate that Don has Senior Performer status. For those who are younger and on active status, the amount of income that needs to be earned to qualify for any insurance has been increased quite a bit. So now, actors have to earn even more to qualify and NO ONE IS WORKING. We’re in the middle of a pandemic.
The union had to take action because of the insane increases in the cost of health care across the board combined with the fact that no one in their union is working. There is no money coming in. I quite understand why they have had to make these difficult decisions, but it makes life even more difficult for members of the union. No one is working. They might lose their insurance.
Anyway, I’m glad we attended the webinar. We have some work to do in the next few weeks, but we have a better understanding of the changes. But the whole thing brought home the fact that we haven’t worked in six months and that we will have another six months – minimum – of unemployment. Having bought a house for the first time in our mid-fifties, we are not in the position of so many people of our age who are paying off or have paid off 30-year mortgages. We will be paying on ours for years. I’m not going to go any further into that except to say it’s tight for us, but not only for us, even more so for our friends and colleagues.
At the same time, I know we’re blessed. The balance I try to maintain about these things sometimes is tilted toward anxiety and worry. But it will tilt back to something saner. I didn’t get to do any work on the dollhouse because of the webinar, so I didn’t have an escape outlet. I’ll do that today.
Plus, I’m reading James Lee Burke, a wonderful, brilliant author, but his stories are very dark.
Anyway, off the top of my head, a gratitude list:
Grateful for my husband and our marriage
Grateful for a roof over our heads
Grateful for (in no particular order) food, power, music, books, dollhouses, animals, birds, butterflies, laughter, Frasier, hugs, paths in the woods, a home that is truly our haven, flowers and gardens, groundhogs, safety after a day of violent storms, a husband who makes me another cup of coffee after I spill mine, a bed to sleep in, my family, my friends, my colleagues, my work whenever I can do it again, my health, health insurance, a spiritual base that keeps me grounded but the struggle is real, for all of you, for the kindness and goodness I see in people despite the nightmare of this administration, for what I must believe will be the triumph of good over evil, for Shakespeare, for words, for poetry, for Gershwin, Sondheim, Rodgers and Hammerstein, Jerome Kern, Rachmaninoff, Copland, Beethoven, Stravinsky, Sinatra, Ella, Fred and Ginger, Harper Lee, for sunlight, for the stars that fill the sky out here in the country, for the haunting call of mourning doves, for birdsong, for afternoon drives to other towns, for the memories of my beloved dogs that can make me cry and laugh, for my parents and my brother, gone but never, never forgotten.
I’ll think of a thousand more things after I post this.
Gratitude always helps.
Stay safe.
Happy Friday.
Sending you a virtual hug! I think we’re all feeling worn down by the constant anxiety. It’s supposed to be a lovely sunny afternoon here, so after work my daughter and I are going to walk to the tiny park nearby to enjoy the fresh air and watch the birds and squirrels. Even small distractions help..
They do help. I’m going to go our and look at our flowers and walk in the woods. That will help.
Stay safe, Barbara.
I’ve been up all night keeping an eye on my dog and I’m very grateful she’s getting better when a few days ago we just weren’t sure.
But I’m not exhausted because of no sleep; I’m exhausted because of…everything.
So I’ll keep looking at your egg cup cabinet and how nicely the illustration of Henry looks among your solid-color cups. (Henry or descendant of Henry.)
And do the gratitude thing all over again. A little later today. When I can think.
Glad to have your lead today, Claudia.
And I’m so sorry you have the worry of work and insurance. I don’t know when my husband will ever get freelance work anytime soon, which was a good part of our retirement plan, so we’re on major belt-tightening til well into 2021. You’re not alone; as you know, we also bought homes in our 50s (sold one, bought another; downsized; in that age-50s decade) and we’ll never have the mortgage paid off in our remaining lifetime. As you say, though, how fortunate we are to be able to control our housing. That mortgage payment comes first; and, if we have to eat beans for the rest of the month, that’s what happens. And it has.
Same here. And we are profoundly grateful for our little home.
I hope you can get some rest, Vicki. I’m so glad to hear your girl is feeling better!
xo
Stay safe.
Your home and yard and gardens are so lovely.
Yes, I need rest; we all feel better with good rest. Thanks for the kind thoughts about my dog.
XOXOX back atcha. Enjoy that walk in the woods. I went out last night about 11pm to the front of my house when all these other neglectful neighbors of mine (the no mask wearers; the partiers) are asleep ‘earlier’ on the weeknights; my new thing, enjoy my roses by flashlight. Oh well, it’s not forever. And I plucked a beauty which looks so pretty in a clear water glass on the counter. Looked up at that three-quarter moon, the stars; made a wish. It’s a lot of wish’in and hope’in these days…
You stay safe, too, Claudia. We’re the smart ones, all of us who are trying to not make this pandemic worse; wearing our masks AND distancing unlike the debacle on TV last night in DC.
I pray you and Don and all of us can have a respite this weekend from the troubling week we’ve just been through (in the long trail of troubling weeks).
Peace. It’s elusive these days. Gotta try harder to find it; but we can.
We can.
Have a peaceful weekend, Vicki.
Stay safe.
Enjoyed Hamnet…I had one problem with it…Anne was Agnes…I could not adjust to that…but as good or better than her other books. Difficult to concentrate right now for various reasons…enjoying my teaching on Facetime, etc. First haircut in six months-new woman…prayers…you are an amazing person…thank you for this blog…brendab
There’s historical references for the use of Agnes. It didn’t bother me, Brenda. I’m glad you enjoyed the book!
Thanks for being here and stay safe!
I suppose because I taught so many times…Shakespeare’s mother…Anne Hathaway…and also the stress right now. I loved her cottage in England…the docent explained that the small beds were because of the height of people in those days…can’t imagine what they would think of the tall people today? Lol…At hardly 5 ft 2, I fit in totally…both trips were wonderful…
Yes, I visited that cottage when I was quite young – 21, I think. I barely remember it now, sadly.
xo
II too am in a slump….need a change….the sun is out and think I will try to coax husband away from the computer to go for a walk….. We live near a little park with views of the long Island sound, turtles and swans….an occasional deer. I will hold his hand while we are walking and try not to let the sadness I am feeling overwhelm me.
Our GOLDEN years (sigh)
Yes, who would have thought our Golden Years would be four years of this nightmare?
Stay safe and enjoy your walk. The best medicine.
Stay safe.
Yes I understand the health care situation
My husband will retire next year so we will have to figure out the supplement situation
We have started to look at plans but it is a difficult process
Just the Rx plan is a difficult decision
We pray we make the right choice because health care bills could be a real problem
I think one thing is to be content with little things
That is our lifestyle
I wish you the best in making your best choice of health care
Linda, my husband and I had a really-difficult time trying to figure out the supplementals. Plan This. Plan That. On good advice from friends and acquaintances (one of whom was my doctor), we went to a well-recommended ‘broker’ (her card is ‘insurance services’ [‘specializing in Medicare Health Plans’]; says she is an independent agent). She really knew her stuff, worked up the calculations as we went along, based on our needs vs best available plans (I have a lot of health issues; a lot of prescription drugs). It didn’t cost us anything (like a fee to her) because, in the end, she gets a commission from I guess whichever company the client goes with (at some point, I just tuned out; ‘way too complicated for me!). We felt she was knowledgeable and trustworthy; professional. It’s a lot easier to go to the doctor these days since Medicare and the supplemental insurance. And many of my drugs are free. Before, I had an HMO and was so restricted; always needing an authorization (like in school, when you needed a hall pass just to use the bathroom). It’s definitely a chunk out of fixed income at the first of each month, but it’s peace of mind for good coverage; and I love the freedom of choosing my own doctors again.
hej, linda …
i am a social worker … not an insurance salesperson … so take this or leave it, as you like. :)
i’ve worked with people about lots of other non-insurance things, often at times when they were going through the overwhelming process of picking an insurance plan … and so i learned a few resources that could be of help to them. apologies if this is something you already know … you probably do.
i’m no insurance expert and i’m not trying to make assumptions or recommendations … just want to help in some little way if i can.
one resource is what vicki mentioned … an insurance broker that is supposed to be truly independent and help people learn the options available to them. there will certainly be agents working at/ for the insurance companies that sell those medicare part d and medicare advantage plans that would like to talk with you. another resource is going to medicare.gov and using tools there to find out which part d and advantage plans are for sale in your state and then compare the various part d plans or advantage plans to each other. those comparisons should show what you can expect your out-of-pocket expenses (premiums, deductibles and/or drug co-pays) could be for each plan, for each medicine and lets you compare any of those plans at the pharmacies of your choice. and they have lots of information in general about the differences between part d and advantage plans (advantage plans, for example, alter original medicare), when you can change plans each year (there are specific times), etc. you could also call medicare at 1-800-medicare (they have an extra digit in their number).
again, not an insurance salesperson here … when i had to decide on an insurance plan, i found a helpful resource at our state’s insurance division. they put in clear graph form a side-by-side comparison of the plans (“a” through “g” or however many types there were available here then). maybe your state has something like that? or at least a hopefully neutral (but definitely pro-insurance) person who could help.
in my not-an-insurance-agent/expert way of thinking about it, insurance decisions are hard because they seem predictive (like how should i know what medicine i might be taking six months from now? ) and deal with health and money … hard! so, good luck with your decision!
hope you stay safe and have a nice weekend!
kathy in iowa
We’ll figure it out, Linda. They have a company with advisors who will help us make the right choice.
Stay safe.
Open your windows. I have asked that blessings flow into your home and into your lives. I have been thinking of gratitudes also. I used to write them down, but haven’t done that in awhile. Will start that again today. I am grateful for you and Don and the pleasure I get from reading about your home and garden and family and work. You are one of my blessings today.
Windows are always open except in the heat of the afternoon, Tana. Thank you for your prayers. Bless you, as well.
Stay safe, my friend.
This morning I saw an ad for the upcoming season for our local theater which hosts mostly musical acts. My first thought was they aren’t going to make it. I sure hope I am wrong but the theater has always struggled. It is so sad.
I wish I could do more to support those who are suffering. I am so very fortunate.
It is ridiculous that people in the US don’t have health insurance.
A lot of theaters will go under, Kay, especially the small ones. It’s heartbreaking.
Stay safe.
Hugs and good thoughts coming your way! You are smart to count your blessings. I think that, positive thoughts and nature help our mental health. I love the picture of the cabinet and all the goodies in it. You show pride and enjoy your home and land. We are being overwhelmed with the yard work but when we stand out in the middle of the 4 acres (looking at the weeds, overgrown trees and getting eaten up by mosquitoes), I just think of the peace and nature that is around us. Brighter days are ahead. Enjoy your weekend. We will get the remnants from Laura tomorrow.
The yard work can definitely get overwhelming, but goodness, aren’t we lucky to have that land?
Stay safe, Cindy.
There is a new term here Trending in Michigan called, “Streaming Ovations.” Our Detroit Symphony is going to offer brand new streaming concerts that I most willingly will pay for. Our news media is reporting that may other venues will be offering paid “concert” tickets. We can all help performers and the arts by paying for the privilege of listening to beautiful music and watching amazing performances. The trend here is that we will have to pay for our “tickets.” Some are unhappy about this but I believe that performers who make great music and art should be paid for their creativity. We can’t truly live full lives without he inspiration of music and art. My sense of loss and emptiness during this time has a lot to do with not having performances and concerts to attend on a weekly or monthly basis.
I’m sure that will start up in most parts of the country. Acting is a bit harder because it can only be reading. Actors need to be onstage with each other. But whatever will help performers is great. And yes, performers should be paid for performances online as well as in person. Good for you, Nancy!
Stay safe.
Selfishly, I was hoping my little package would arrive this week, but god knows where the post office had to shuffle it. It’s been one hell of a week for so many what with fires, hurricanes, riots, more killing of black men, a “convention” full of bullshit and lies which is only aggravated by the fact that some voters will find it believable. Having your job and insurance situation on top of all this is enough to send anyone over the edge. Your list of things you are grateful for was moving, uplifting, and beautiful. I went out for a short while today, and while it was humid, there was a tender breeze, and while I sat by the colorful petunias, I was distracted by the rotten smell of trash from the can right next to the chairs. Also the power moving and delivery trucks going by. I tried to lean back a few times and just breath (trash) and feel the breeze on my skin and watch the clouds…thinking of the times when I was a kid and after we’d played ourselves tired, we’d flop down on our backs in our small grassy front yard, feeling the California sun on our bellies and faces and the cool earth on our backs and just watch the clouds. I know yards are not good for the environment and are hard to keep up (as you know), but what a wonderful oasis they were for us. Nowadays, I spend most of my time thinking about growing up in the 60s in Southern California where all the action was, listening to Jan and Dean and Beach Boys and Sonny and Cher and driving up and down the coast in my ’68 Mustang convertible (which was broken down half the time with electrical problems), and our local ice cream spot, Pepper Free Frosty which was indeed surrounded by leafy, dancing pepper trees, and had a wishing well, and the most delicious soft ice cream dipped in chocolate shell cones, and our high school swimming pool where we took lessons while our mom sat outside the gate in the car watching her ducklings with an eagle eye, and the damp sheets snapping on the clothes line…etc., etc., etc. It’s a physical and emotional pain that nothing in the present can soothe. I’m glad your gratitude list includes things from your now. Thanks for sharing with us. Stay safe!
Your package arrived the other day but I couldn’t get to the post office until this morning. Every trip involves timing, masks, sanitizer, etc!
I’ll write you privately. I just opened it up!
What a great memory of summers in your youth! Mustangs were my favorite car (I’m from the home of all things Ford, Dearborn, Michigan) and I wanted nothing more than to have one someday. Sigh. Never got one. Also loved Thunderbirds and wanted one of those. I went to Edsel Ford High School and we were called the Thunderbirds, too.
Stay safe, Nora.
Thank you for posting thru these hard times. I so look forward to reading every day. This morning I had to get out my grateful journal and write and be thankful. Yesterday my husband brought home sandwiches that I was quite critical of. Our fav. Sandwich shop has changed hands. Then I sat there and felt ashamed! There are so many people that would love to have my hot sandwich. Families sitting in long lines for a box of free food just breaks my heart. I am praying for a vaccine so everyone can get back to work!
Me too, but not one that Trump rushes through without adequate testing. I’m sure he’d love nothing more than to come up with a vaccine before the election.
I need to follow your example and grab a notebook that will become my gratitude journal. That’s a wonderful idea, Judy.
Stay safe!
Hi there,,, Your blog and ensuing comments are priceless today! “This too shall pass” is a phrase I have repeated so many times in recent months. I must admit I have been “situationally depressed” since mid April when I lost 2 friends on the same day. I’m not sure if funerals would have helped me move past the grief, but I fear not being able to “get a grip” might take a toll on my physical health. And now in August we lost a favorite cousin to cancer. His masked and socially distanced burial we were invited to attend and a week later a friend who had a stroke. I wonder why I felt a sense of relief that none died from covid.
My brand new Great-granddaughter is now 4 weeks old and so sweet! Her momma is still struggleing though, from a difficult labor and delivery which finally ended with a c-section and a few extra days added to the hospital stay. They both have been seen by their doctors twice since coming home and both have appointments this coming week. I pray the doctor is on top of what is going on with momma and can offer her some relief.
Again I find myself thankful for your blog!
Take care…
Kelly
I’m so sorry to hear of the passing of your friends, Kelly. Too much, I know.
Blessings to your great-granddaughter!
Stay safe!
I feel totally exhausted after this week and all of the nonsense. I didn’t watch any of it last night, but, unfortunately, it creeps into all I see and hear today. I think we should all ask for a refund of $$ when we file 2020 taxes for his illegal uses of the White House in just the past 2 weeks. Shameful. But that is just SOP for him and his crew of maniacs.
Loved your Gratitude list. I try to come up with 3 things every day. But sadly they just fly out of my mind so quickly with all of the madness. I think I am going to read (in order)Jan Karon and move to Mitford for a few weeks. Father Tim will hopefully calm my severed nerves.
I’d like a major tax refund for all the money I have contributed unknowingly to his criminal activities.
Jan Karon! What a great idea to reread her books. They are just what we need right now!
Stay safe, Chris.
This week has been all sorts of depressing, for me too. I am sorry to hear about your supplemental insurance woes. Hopefully, with a little guidance, you two can figure this out without too much additional cost. Good luck.
I can however, turn my attitude around simply by counting my blessings, of which I have many. I loved your litany of blessings…such a varied list. One thing I am thankful for are the beautiful photographs you provide us with everyday. Today’s for example, brings me just the right amount of whimsy that I need to lighten my mood.
Right now, I am looking forward to thunderstorms later today…we need rain here. Just north of us they have gotten 6+ inches…but here…barely half an inch. Stay safe! ;)
Donnamae, we received almost 4 inches between last night and this morning!!!!
Wow…hope you don’t get flooded! Have a safe weekend! ;)
Same here. Every place around us gets tons of rain but somehow it misses us. Today, however, it IS raining and though we’re going to get thunderstorms, this morning’s rain has been nice and steady.
Stay safe, Donna!
I thought of you, Don & Henry this morning.
My office window opens onto my back deck and the window has a window box planted with sweet potato vine. Earlier in the week I noticed that all the long trailing stems had been stripped of their leaves… someone had eaten them all. Since the window opens onto my deck, which is approximately 10 feet above ground level, I was certain the culprits weren’t the deer who travel through my backyard and the wetlands abutting the rear of my property.
This morning while sitting outside on the end of the deck farthest from the window box, I heard a scrabbling sound louder than what the squirrels make as the scamper around the deck. I turned, looked toward the end of the deck, and there was a medium-sized groundhog. Mystery solved! I didn’t have the heart to make a noise and frighten him off. I watched as he cautiously crept over to the now nude stems, stood up and searched for more tender leaves to eat. Finding none within his reach, he turned and went back down the deck steps.
Like you and many others, I try each day to be grateful for the little things and the not-so-little things to keep me grounded and to offset the turmoil in America and the world. It does help.
I hope this little story brings a smile to your face, and that you know the far-reaching joy your blog brings to so many of your readers.
Stay safe & stay well!
I love your little groundhog and your encounter with him! Thanks so much for sharing this with me, Amy.
Your story brought a big smile to my face!
Stay safe.
Special hug to you and while the last few years have been hard for me (loss of father 8/29/2018 and then 14 months later loss of mother 11/7/2019) I try to get by each day, thankful every morning I wake up, lol. I worry constantly about covid as I have ones I love that are extremely vulnerable and I am fearful of catching it & fearful of possibly exposing others to it. I dreaded getting my blood labs on Monday this week but actually they were pretty good – but I did gain 7.25 lbs since a year ago – doctor blamed it on the ‘covid diet’, lol. Which in turn pushed my A1C up to prediabetic again – so I am to go on stricter eating plan ( just cut those danged carbs!) to bring down by my Feb appt. So I was happy about the results. I try to enjoy the little things each day and that is how I get through, day by day. I work for a retail property / management company, that owns shopping centers & malls and I am regional office manager set inside one of our malls. To say that retail was already struggling these past 12 years (since the last big crisis of 2008, which started the downward trend for certain industries / retail / housing market) and now covid-19 is putting the final nails into that box for retail – national tenants that overexpanded in the 1980s/early 1990s – that overexpansion came home to roost for them and almost every national tenant in this mall has declared bankruptcy this year. A few had already declared in 2017, or 2018 or early 2019. We have lost five stores so far in just 5 months (2 locals & 3 nationals), but we also opened 2 new ones and hoping to bring back in more of the local businesses (as the mall was when 1st built). So I feel your blues but do know I share my hugs with you too.
Such a bleak outlook for businesses, Dawn. I’m glad the results of your lab tests were good. I so understand the loss of both parents within months of each other. That’s what happened with mine. My mother passed away in 2015 and my father passed away 18 months later in 2016. It’s too much.
Stay safe, Dawn!
Feeling just like everyone else too….
I know I’ve said this before, but I still feel that we’re at rock bottom & can only go up from here. I guess we can only be thankful for what we have & that we’re alive to someday, look back & reflect on how bad human beings can be.
Enjoy what you can..that’s what we’re doing.
Have a good weekend.
Human beings can be very bad, Priscilla, and we’re sure seeing that within Trump’s world. That there are actually people out there defending the 17 year old who murdered two people with his AK15 is horrifying.
Stay safe.
OH SHUCKS – I also wanted to say, again, how much I TOTALLY LOVE your EGG CUP CUBBY . Every time I see it I am so envious of it. I have MUCH smaller vintage egg cup collection (and I have to admit, I love them! And I am addicted to collecting vintage thermos, which I use as decor all over my house, using colors for the holidays, etc) and a pretty big ‘gingerbread decor’ collection for Xmas. I have smaller collections, such as my vintage Napco & Lefton monthly angels – I change them out every month – there is a special place I put them in my living room. Took me 10 years to get all 12 of the ones I wanted, ALL through thrifting. Anyways, Love Love Love those egg cups and your cubby!!
I love collecting and I have many collections. My favorites might be the egg cups simply because they’re so whimsical
Thanks, Dawn.
I love your gratitude list. Love it. It’s critical in these challenging times that we look at what we have, even when the rest of life is tough. And it does sound grim for your union members these days. I feel for those I know who are out of work in theatre and otherwise and I know that is the lion’s share circle of those who have been a major part of both your lives for so long. So, that list is all the more important. Well stated, Claudia. I hope the options will work for you.
Thank you so much, Jeanie.
Stay safe!
Like you and others commenting, I have had more “down” days than “up.” as well. It would be ideal for the Democrats to take both the House and the Senate and get to work on health insurance. Insurance costs too much because medical costs are too high. It is a disgrace that it depends on where you live in the country what you’re charged for the same medical procedure.
My biggest worry is my sons. One still working and the other laid off immediately because he works for an organization that runs two theaters and a concert venue in Milwaukee. Both were arts majors in college so, as you and Don well know, the world where they both wanted to make their careers has been turned upside down.
I like the idea of your gratitude list and I feel the need now to make one of my own. I have a feeling the ups and downs will get more pronounced right up until Election Day. We can’t take anything for granted just because Biden has been ahead in the polls for so long. Watching how they illegally used the White House last night just infuriated me. It’s funny he didn’t have his name spelled out in gold lighting above the place.
One day at a time.
Take care.
Kay
No, we cannot take anything for granted. We have to fight hard. Trump will try anything he can to retain power – not because he particularly likes his job – but because he cannot stand to lose. And of course, he’s Putin’s puppet.
Stay safe, Kay.
hej, claudia …
so sorry you and don have those insurance and unemployment hassles (to put it mildly) to go through. hoping and praying you find the best possible plan and won’t need to use it. and that there will be work ahead sooner than expected.
always love seeing that cubby with your egg cups! i have some prized possessions that make me smile every day so am tickled for you to have something that looks made-to-measure and definitely meant to be where it is … in your sweet home.
love the gratitude list. you and everyone here are on mine.
hope tomorrow feels and is easier and brighter for you. better days are ahead (just can’t come too soon)!
doing okay here. happy that it’s friday. happy that i figured out another little piece of the puzzle on storing things here. happy and grateful to see some members of my family tomorrow. and that it’s supposed to rain tomorrow. happy that november 03 is coming. and so is january 21.
hope you are sleeping better and can work on a dollhouse tomorrow, spend time in that incredible park don made for you and just be.
and stay safe!
hugs, xo
kathy in iowa
Enjoy your time off today, Kathy. You deserve it!
Stay safe.
Oh how right you are.
xo
There is nothing coming from to to comfort you. It’s getting worse and worse and worse. I’m quite sure that any political change doesn’t make things better … Today I am really depressed.
All the best!
Regula
I understand, Regula, believe me, I understand.
Stay safe.
Claudia there is a YouTube channel RVAT – Republican Voters Against Trump that is a platform for republicans to address why they are disgusted with orange baby and voting for Biden. There are thousands of them which gives me hope, hope that I haven’t had in 4 years.
Yes, I’ve seen some of their ads. Thank goodness! We need them.
Stay safe, Cristine!