Suddenly, it’s Autumn. I swear, in the past four days or so, every tree has turned color, leaves are falling, it’s stunning how quickly everything has changed. It feels early this year – we’re not even finished with September yet. I wonder why it’s so early – is it the drought we’ve been having? I don’t know the answer but it seems like it’s moving too quickly. Slow down!
I’m still reeling from the death of Ben. I spent much of the day yesterday communicating with his fellow students on Facebook. We shared memories. We shared our grief. I can’t get him out of my mind, can’t get his family out of my mind. I’ve lost students before; one lovely student at BU suddenly had a heart attack and died, my student John Lentz (in San Diego) was murdered and you’ve heard me speak of that heartbreaking time. And now Ben.
I didn’t sleep all that well last night – too much Orange Man tax info, too much Twitter, then Rachel, etc. I’m not sure if I’m going to watch the debate. Don is, but I’m exhausted and I think I’ll find the whole thing too stressful. I will do some texting for Biden this afternoon.
A little story.
For the past two Sundays, Don has been attending a Unitarian Universalist church service via Zoom. He found this particular service on an online search. It originates from a town in Massachusetts. He really enjoyed the service and the minister’s sermon, which centered on social justice. Afterwords, he entered a couple of ‘rooms’ and spoke with some of the members of the congregation, rather like fellowship after a service in normal times. He was quite taken with the people he ‘met’ – UU principles are very much in sync with Don’s beliefs, so it was a good fit. This past Sunday, he visited via Zoom for a second time. Loved the sermon, raved about the female minister, etc.
Later in the day, I was online and I got a message on Facebook. It was from a friend who I directed in a production of Bye Bye Birdie when she was in high school – this would have been in 1983 because it was just before I moved to Philadelphia for graduate school. We’ve stayed in touch over the years (that show was a great experience for all of us.) Her message said: Is your Don Sparks the Don Sparks who has been attending my church service on Zoom?
Oh my god. I then remembered that Susanne, who is a Unitarian minister, had been called to a congregation just outside of Boston a few years back. (She went to Harvard Divinity School.) It was her church that Don was visiting! What are the odds? I mean, what are the odds? My husband connected with a minister who is someone I worked with 37 years ago! Back in Dearborn, Michigan! And it’s someone I have stayed in contact with over the years, thanks to Facebook.
Don couldn’t believe it. Neither could Susanne or I!
Talk about serendipity. Of course, it released a flood of memories of Bye Bye Birdie and that magical experience we shared. Susanne told me that she was a troubled teen at that time and that I helped her through that. I had no knowledge that she was having a hard time, but I’m always heartened to hear that I’ve made a difference in someone’s life.
I’m so happy that Don knows her now. It truly is a small world.
Stay safe.
Happy Tuesday.
It is a small world, isn’t it? What a fantastic coincidence…or maybe meant to be…have a good day…prayers
A lovely coincidence, Brenda!
Stay safe.
You are lucky w/ so much more color than we seeing so far in SW Ohio. Our leaves are falling already due to drought and most color is blah so far. Have seen some pretty reds, but not many.
The moment I opened your post, the first thing I thought when I saw your lovely shot, that would make a great picture for a puzzle to work. Now wouldn’t that be fun!
Well you’re south of us, so you won’t be seeing color for a while yet. We’re much further north than you.
Stay safe, Chris.
Wow. Two hundred days. It’s good you have a nice story to distract from the awful normal of 2020. My nice story is that the long-awaited morning glories have opened four blossoms this morning. Lots of buds, but probably not enough time for them to bloom before freeze time. But four are a welcome change from none. I would have missed them if I hadn’t looked out of the upstairs window. The vines grew so long that the blooms are nearly on the roof!
So glad you got some buds. The same thing will happen to me with my moonflower. It grows so slowly that it won’d get a chance to bloom before the first frost. So frustrating!
Stay safe, Shanna.
Two hundred days! That has to be a landmark of sorts.
I’m glad to hear that Don has found some solace with the online services. I was raised with fire & brimstone and was then married for many years to a devout atheist. Neither extreme viewpoint works for me. These days my daughter and I don’t subscribe to any particular church, but we do honestly find the Bible quite a fascinating read! I’m truly sorry for the loss of your friend – try to do something today that brings you comfort.
Unitarian Universalists are all about the spiritual, not dogma. And they are very committed to fighting for social justice. Perfect for Don!
Stay safe, Barbara.
It’s early here, too. I don’t know if it’s the drought because we’ve had a pretty wet late summer/early September. We are VERY close to peak up north. I think maybe this weekend will be it, at least for the middle part of the state. Down here in Lansing there’s a ways to go. But it is incredibly beautiful up north. Yesterday I left in the rain and it was killing me because the road home was so gorgeous but of course dreary and not a good day to even consider taking your eyes off the road — especially with a disgruntled cat who kept rattling her cage!
Dearborn — just for sport, did you know any Ziaja, Groszko, Shefferly or Sheldon kids during school? You never know! I know Dearborn is a big place. My Ziaja friend, Jerry, became a professional actor and now lives in Paris, having landed there with an international tour of “Dolly” that closed there. That was in the 90s. Just curious!
Jerry was one of my best friends in high school. We graduated together! We did plays/musicals together from age 12 and beyond. We even did Once Upon a Mattress together when we were about 20 – He was Dauntless, I was Winnifred. The last time I saw him was when he flew home for our 20th reunion! I knew him very well and we were very good buddies. I also knew his whole family, including his sister Peggy. That reminds me, I need to look him up next time I’m in Paris!
Small world again!
Stay safe, Jeanie.
You have got to be kidding! He was my best college friend and we have stayed friends these decades after, touching base by phone and when he comes home at the holidays (which may or may not happen this year). When he does, he usually spends a week in NYC too. After college he was in NYC for quite awhile doing theatre — Oklahoma national tour back ages ago, American Dance Machine, stock, cruise ships — you know the drill. In 1993 he went to Paris as part of Lee Roy Reams’ “Hello Dolly!” cast and the show closed there. He stayed. He’s now a personal trainer focusing primarily on aging clients in their homes. Peggy died several years ago — cancer. That’s been especially hard for him as those two were really close. I’ll have to tell him! Were you Claudia Hill back then?
We were pretty close, often in the same classes together and doing theater together all of the time. Ask him about the time he kicked me in the eye! We were practicing a flip that we did (he did the flipping) in Once Upon a Mattress and he accidentally kicked the skin around my eyebrow and I had to go to emergency and get it stitched and get back before curtain!
We kept in touch off and on for several years and when I saw him at our reunion, he filled me on what he’d been doing and his new life in Paris. But that was many years ago.
I knew about Peggy dying. I really liked her and I know how close they were.
Yes, I was Claudia Hill. Still am, legally. I always envied him living in Paris!
Small, small world, Jeanie!
Very small! I should have read your reply before I wrote the comment on today’s post. He was delighted you and I are connected!
If we ever get to Paris again, I sure hope I can connect with Jerry.
xo
Claudia, You and I are on the same schedule. TWO HUNDRED DAYS! If someone had told me it would be this many months, I wouldn’t have believed them. I’m truly sorry about your friend’s passing. Losing a good friend is like losing a part of ourselves. I’m sending you metta for peace and comfort.
It’s completely unbelievable, isn’t it? 200 days.
Thank you, Carolyn.
Stay safe!
My husband and I have been proud UU’s for the past 36 years.
From reading your blog, I have always suspected that you and Don would meld perfectly into our congregations. Our values are yours.
Thank you! I have two friends who are UU Ministers. I guess I’ll be attending along with Don this Sunday – via zoom of course. I want to hear Susanne’s sermon.
Stay safe!
That’s why I love this blog!
Take care…
Kelly
Thank you, Kelly.
Stay safe!
Serendipity always amazes me.! “Meant to be” always makes me so happy! Great story and then Jeanie’s on top of it!! As big as it is, it really is a small world.
It truly is!
Thanks, Chris.
Stay safe.
I was a family’s babysitter nonstop for 10 years in my childhood/youth while the mother/wife of the family continued her education from Northwestern (interrupted in the 1950s to get married and have children) eventually getting her PhD and becoming a Unitarian minister, a position which she held for 30 years, nearly until her death. She was mentored by another female Unitarian minister when still a stay-home mom in her 30s, and this other female minister had a profound influence on her direction (from psychology to divinity but I think it was all part of the plan).
When I was a teen, my babysitter-employer (she still was going to school; this is three SoCalif universities/colleges over a long period of time) got another summer job for me with this mentor/older minister who was writing a book, and my task was to take years (stacks and stacks) of sermons, handwritten in fading #2 pencil on lined notebook paper, and type them out so that she had them for more ready, clear reference for her manuscript. (The lady didn’t type herself, but I’d had a semester of typing so that I could do my term papers for school and I really took to it; loved it; I could type fast and accurately; my mom had an old manual typewriter from the 1940s [I still have it!] and I’d just pound the heck out of it at night after my dayside babysitting job had ended.)
Mother and I would sometimes read the sermons and try to figure them out. We had no understanding or knowledge of the religion (I still don’t) except from what my babysitter ‘boss’ sometimes told me. Or when I’d read her study books and notes that she’d sometimes leave behind when she was gone on the weekdays taking other classes. I was growing up; I was curious.
We have a lot of upstanding people in our town, including prominent families of the pioneers, who attend the ancient UU church here. When I say ‘ancient’, I mean the building, which dates to 1892 (ancient for us in the West since we’re a relatively ‘new’ state [of Calif] compared to, say, New York; our city wasn’t even incorporated til 1910). The building is on its second organ, a pipe organ, from 1923. It’s our oldest church in the town.
I just read this when I was looking up obits for both women: ‘The Women and Religion Movement is alive and well in the 21st Century. A grassroots project started by lay leaders in the 1970s as an effort to promote examination of religious roots of sexism and patriarchy within the UUA and beyond, UU Women and Religion officially began as a task force following the unanimously-passed WOMEN AND RELIGION RESOLUTION at the 1977 UUA General Assembly. Although the Task Force was eventually sunsetted, the movement still exists in UU Districts that hold Women & Religion programs and woman-focused gatherings. It exists at General Assembly, where UUW&R has an annual gathering and a booth in the display area. And it lives in the hearts and lives of women and men who have been touched by the many changes inspired by this movement.’
And for our local UU church, from their online site (I edited for length): ‘The Mission of the UU Church is to practice inclusiveness, seek justice, and foster spirituality. Love is the spirit of this church and service is its prayer. To dwell together in peace, to seek the truth in freedom, to tell the truth with responsibility, and to help one another. We promise to listen compassionately and speak with care. Listen from the heart. In conversation, refrain from blame and judgment. Listen more to understand than to reply. Respect different points of view. We promise to address conflicts directly, using openness and compassion. Stay engaged with each other through difficult conversations. Be curious about the other side of an issue. Agree to disagree and do so with openness and gentleness.’
(And, additionally…) ‘We promise to serve our church community with generosity and good humor. We promise to practice hospitality and acceptance, welcoming all who enter and encouraging diversity in our congregation. Greet people warmly. Engage those who are different from us. Welcome newcomers into conversations. Treat others with respect and loving kindness.’
‘We promise to acknowledge our own shortcomings and be willing to forgive those of others. Acknowledge our own and others’ imperfections. Forgive ourselves and others. Lovingly call each other to account for behavior that is hurtful to others. Treat each other with openness, honesty and fairness. We promise to acknowledge the service of others, and support each other in times of joy and need. Help each other in time of crisis. Recognize each other’s talents. Appreciate the efforts of others. Give positive feedback, comments and thoughts. Stay open to other points of view. Challenge ourselves and each other to grow.’
(Finally…) ‘Live your values aloud, not alone. Our open-minded, open-hearted spiritual community help people lead lives of justice, learning, and hope.’
I’m glad amid so much and too much sad/upsetting emotion of the past couple of days, Claudia, that you and Don got to enjoy that serendipitous moment of the shared UU acquaintance. Somebody said to me once, I’m sure it’s quoted from someone else (Freud? Jung?), “There ARE no coincidences.”
I agree. I use that word, but really, there aren’t any coincidences!
Thanks, Vicki.
Stay safe.
How remarkable in so many ways!!! I’m glad that beam of sunshine touched all of you. Stay safe. XO
I am, too.
Thanks, Nora!
What a delightful coincidence! Your story made my day.
Try not to watch the debate. It will just be upsetting at best. The highlights will be on tomorrow.
My 3 month hiatus from Tv news will be over tomorrow when we arrive back home. Not sure I am ready for it. I will still limit my exposure .
I’ll probably watch the beginning but I have a feeling I won’t last long. Don is urging me to, because he wants to.
Stay safe, Kay!
I love these kinds of small world stories! I think they are blessings from the Universe.
The leaves are all changing colors here, too and falling like mad already. Like you mentioned, it seems earlier than last year. In fact, I know it is (at least for here) because I take photos of the huge maple tree across the street and this year it started changing colors earlier than it did last year, according to my photo documentation.
Our weather has also changed way too quickly. It was near 80 just a few days ago and we’d had nothing but beautiful, sunny days for a long time. Now it’s only in the 50’s and overcast with rain on and off. Makes me feel a bit “blue”. I’m finding it’s hard to stay warm in this kind of weather. I’m bundled up in a warm hoodie and sipping hot herbal tea.
xoxo
Yes, if I checked back to last year on the blog, I know I’d see it is earlier this year.
Too soon. I agree. Stay safe, Melanie!
Wow, who would have thought – 200 days since this pandemic journey began for your blog. I look ahead and really can’t see anything productive h aappening in my life until some time next year………. maybe………
Yes, I feel the same way.
Thanks, Robyn.
Stay safe.
I always say there are no coincidences; the Universe knows what it is doing. Having that connection appear just when you are feeling down and learning that you made a difference in someone’s life, seems to be just what you needed. Good things happen!
I’m looking forward to Joe mopping the floor with 45, myself. You are here for us each day and so appreciated. Take a breather as needed! Prof. Heather Cox Richardson is another anchor for many of us–love her historical perspective on current politics.
Stay safe and sane!
Thank you, Roxie.
Stay safe.
oh, such sad and sweet parts of life that you’ve experienced in the past 24 hours!
i’m glad you had this bit of sweetness (connections with another friend) when you needed it and that don is enjoying church.
i don’t believe in coincidence, either. :)
i am home after a long couple of days. i’ve been watching the debate, but might have to turn the tv off … way too much interrupting … very annoying! while i don’t like the phrase (especially in this important situation … chris wallace has not done well at halting the interruptions), it was worth it to hear biden tell pino “just shut up, man”. it wasn’t professional of biden, but it made me laugh.
i always like to see photos of your shed … i love that happy color! did you and don paint it or was it that color when you bought your home?
we have some leaves changing color … beautiful! not just cooler, it’s getting cold here … frost can’t be far off. i am just not ever ready for ice and sleet nor how early it’s getting dark in the early evening (though the darkness makes it easier for me to get to sleep) .
hope you are having a peace-full night.
are you sleeping better? hope so.
stay safe and well!
kathy in iowa
No, I slept about two hours last night.
Taking some time to refresh, Kathy.
Stay safe.
What a lovely story. It is amazing how connections can happen in our big world to make it smaller and friendlier. I am interested in the Unitarian church and might try to find out more about it. I’m catching up on your blog so I’ve got something to say about Orange Man but will do it on today’s post! Hugs!