True Story:
A good friend of mine, now 75, was once a proud member of John F. Kennedy’s Army Airborne; a band of brothers and paratroopers in one of the elite divisions of what was known as “Charlie Company.” They had recently paraded in front of the President in a review of military precision, with starched, shined, and uniform patriotic and aggressive marching bordering on a goose step. And JFK had saluted and waved back, with a smile and a tanned face still embedded in my friend’s fading memory.
He returned to the U.S. from the carnage of Viet Nam with images of brothers killed in action and a haunting concern and loyalty for those still over there.
He was trying to re-enter life and find the person he was who’d been left stateside. He started looking for himself and figured he’d try every bar and dive along the Hudson River until that guy turned up.
It was in a bar such as this one night when he and some fellow Vets came across some scruffy protester types, tie-dyed and shaggy and equally three sheets to the wind. Words were overheard, and not liking what he heard, my friend steamed across the bar and with a firm right-cross sent a stool-perched peace-nut to the peanut-shell-covered bar floor below.
Someone then ran over to my friend, who was still swaggering tall above the thin, crumpled figure, and said breathlessly,
“Don’t you know who you just punched??!”
“Who”
“Man, that’s Bob Dylan.”
And so it was.
My friend, who’d been off bivouacking in the cool and inviting breezes that were the jungles of Viet Nam in the summer, and not privy or particularly interested in the latest musical trends, replied:
“Who’s Bob Dylan?”
Now, I don’t approve of violence, nor do I bear any malice toward the legendary folk singer (I’m a fan), but I must guiltily admit I think it’s a little cool to have a friend who sucker-punched Bob Dylan. It’s just that, well, it is a singular event to hear of firsthand. Besides, it was a long, long time ago. And Bob has done alright by himself. He might even tell my friend if they ever meet and my friend should apologize, “Don’t think twice. It’s alright.”
Or not.
But you couldn’t take a real-life event and find a more perfect metaphor for the ever-evolving American male image: John Wayne mano a mano with the Prince of Protest.
After hearing Hillary Clinton say recently, “America now has to decide what kind of country we want to be” (or words to that effect) and after the braying, macho Trumpery of The Donald, it might be a good time for men to ask themselves, “What kind of men do we want to be?”
Which has some of my male-type friends taking a long look in the mirror and wondering what they see. Or want to see. Or should see.
What does it mean to be a man? I thought this was cleared up long ago in the unlikely person of the actor, Alan Alda.
In the book Men & Masculinities: A Social, Cultural, and Historial Encyclopedia, Michael Kimmel and Amy Aronson write:
Alda symbolized a charming, certainly milder alternative to the “Raging Bull” and “Rockys” of the world – a romantic lead whose masculinity was predicated on sensitivity, intelligence, and roguish wit as opposed to testosterone-fueled aggression, machismo, and intimidating physical prowess.”
Hmmm…
“…testosterone-fueled aggression, machismo, and intimidating physical prowess.” Sounds a little like a rally I’ve seen on TV lately.
Is that what a man does? What a man is?
Or is it strength with gentleness? Power with compassion? Conviction with an open mind? Confidence with humility?
What does it even mean : Being a good man? Being a strong man?
That’s what a few of us would like to know.
Maybe, just maybe, this post could be helpful for all of us.
So…
What do you think? We’d like to know.
And yes, I will read and reply to your comments.
And maybe learn something.
If I’m man enough to try.
Closing à la Claudia:
Happy Thursday.
Don
“Man up” and “I’m not man enough” are just two of the expressions I recently overheard in a local elementary school setting. There is a very pervasive John Wayne-type culture where I live which has profoundly influenced my daughter’s attitude toward dating and relationships. Sad.
I have a pilot brother who saw more than his fair share of active duty in the forces, so Mr. Dylan’s comments were insensitive at very least. What happened to “walk a mile in my shoes”? On the other hand, I worked briefly with an older lawyer some years ago who worked with Bob Dylan back in the day trying to help black voters in the southern states register which was a battle in itself.
Wow, Barbara, some very good points. Sorry your daughter is having to sort through all this at such a young age. You got me thinking: “Man Up” could easily apply to women too? If “Man Up” means quit feeling sorry for yourself or choose courage over fear. I thought it was so cool when I heard “throw like a girl” now means throw damn good! Yes, Bob has done much, maybe it’s a blend of the best of each type? Thanks so much!!
I also want to report that we attended a Luthier’s Festival in Woodstock last weekend and there were many shiny and wonderful guitars. But the one I wore proudly on my coat (the one you sent me) won the Blue Ribbon!
Dear Don-
Thank you for this very thoughtful post.
Exactly- swagger, bragging, and violence promoting as a way to control honest
discussion of differences or opposition to racist and sexist stances seem to be his
platform. The current undermining of the foundations of our democracy is frightening to
say the least.
While most of the men I hold dear are appalled at the current state of the election, I received great comfort from a long time Republican friend who just early voted for Clinton – he said
“Trump gave me no choice.”
And, you seem to be, as Claudia experiences and shares you with us, a wonderful man!
Maralyn, Thanks so much! It’s so hard to not reduce people to a sterotype. Sounds like you have some really good friends. It’s funny, but I heard someone say, “The loudest, swaggering guy in the bar is probably the one who’s most afraid.” I wonder how much fear is motivating the conversation? Kind of a defense mechanism.
Thanks Don. My husband and I couldn’t agree more with everything you said. It’s so sad to think in this day and age that people have to be reminded of these things.
Kathy, thanks for your comment. Seems like everybody is dealing with the same thing this election brings up. Maybe some good will come from it? Maybe the country needed a good shaking up to be forced to re-figure out who we are. Maybe it can be seen as a reality check?
I think that it is very telling that you even asked the question—”What is it to be manly?”. It shows an openness to the answers you’ll receive. Certain orange men are so convinced of their own bigoted opinions that it leaves no room for any opposing views…an unwillingness to learn anything from anyone…because they already “know it all”. How can one be attuned to the problems of the world when one clearly refuses to listen before offering a solution? Thoughtful wins over reactionary every time, for me. Great thought-provoking post, Don!
Shanna! Thanks, you really got me thinking. Maybe a new definition of what “Manly” means could apply to women as well?? I mean, if trying to get even a little more of tolerance, courage, gentleness, etc… is the “new man”, couldn’t be applied to the “new woman” too? Maybe we could enter a period where as a people the separate definitions don’t even need to be. I can see how when the pioneers headed west in covered wagons and started a family in a foreign and often harsh place, roles were needed: Land had to be cleared and tilled and men were (are, mostly?) just bigger creatures and therefore stronger in a purely brute sense, and meals had to be made, babies cared for, etc.. So the division of labor (and “identities”) were really just for survival. Not the same now, is it?
You are so right! There is no need for stereotypes for either gender.
Thank you Don for this thoughtful and powerful post. As I read it, I kept thinking that perhaps being defined as a ‘man’ or a ‘woman’ is less important than being a compassionate/caring human being. And, that in the long run – this country and this world will be judged on how we treated each other. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts with us. Hoping there are more posts to come.
Whoa! Thanks Regina Anne. Read the comment I posted directly above to Shanna before I saw yours! You said the same thing only better! Thanks!! I think I’m learning something.
Wonderful post Don! I have to agree with Regina Anne – what we need is for everyone to be thoughtful and compassionate human beings – men and women.
Thanks, Vera! Seems to be a consensus forming. Maybe the old definitions don’t need to continue. Just think more of men & women as people and how the same traits needed to be a better “human” apply equally?
Love your post Don! It brought to mind several random things. My cousin who is into genealogy recently found we’re distantly related to Bob Dylan. Very distantly. The second random thought relates to my late father who was career Air Force and a Vietnam veteran. He was for many years a supporter of our involvement in that war. After he retired from the AF his viewpoint started changing. While living and working in Cairo Egypt he ran into a conscientious objector who had gone to Canada rather than being drafted. This man told my father he would understand if he felt contempt for him. My father told him that, to the contrary, he admired him for being true to his convictions. Just as he admired those who were drafted and served our country in Vietnam. True men learn and grow throughout their lives. They show respect where it’s due. My Dad was a life long Republican but he became disillusioned with the party in the years before his death. I know if he were alive today there’s no way he would support the present Republican candidate. My Dad was a true man. Trump is not. Thank you for your post, and please post again! I love to read Claudia’s posts and now I’ll look forward to reading yours as well.
Laura, Wow. Thanks so much for sharing your dad’s story and for your excellent thoughts. You know, I can tell you that my friend from the story has changed too, and is not proud of the bar story. He’s now a very peace loving man who practices peace and love and spirituality. Excellent points Laura, and your dad does sound like a true man. By the way, I’d verify that family tree and your connections to Dylan. Maybe you should start planning what to do with the record royalties you’re no doubt going to inherent?
great questions, don! i hope we all ask ourselves such questions on a regular basis. about the people we are and hope to be. about the people we invite into our lives (through what we do or don’t watch on tv/read about online or in gossip magazines, who we vote for to hold political offices and, most importantly, in real life). about the kind of country and world we want for ourselves, each other and future generations.
thanks for writing.
kathy in iowa
Thanks, Kathy! Beautifully said. You got me thinking. Asking ourselves questions which could lead to changing things about ourselves is asking a lot. For example, Claudia has been a very strong influence on my thinking with regards to animals and being kind. I grew up going deep sea fishing with my dad. Now, I have NOTHING against fishing, and have a dear friend who practices meditation and is gentle and kind, and who’s been an avid fisherman all is life. He has the rods & reels his dad had. As well as wonderful memories of fishing and learning to fish from his father. A kind of passed-down identity now linked with who is father was and who he is now. Of course, bad things and views can be passed down. Bad things like racially biased conditioning and so forth. So for some of us, changing means challenging and dropping a lot of things we learned from our parents and grandparents. A, “way of life” so to speak. So, letting go of a lot of things that need to be let go of almost could feel like a rejection and even disloyalty. Of course, I’m now getting in over my head, so I’ll just say thanks!
hi, don.
agreed; those kind of changes can feel like disloyalty (either to the person trying to make a change or to those who feel threatened by someone else’s efforts to change, even though it truly is for the better). and it’s easy to get into a mindset of “that’s just the way it is”. i’ve been a social worker for 30 years, with many years spent in the (in- and outpatient) mental health field. i’ve seen other people struggle and work to make changes in their thinking and actions and i know how hard it is for me to make my own changes. we seek and sometimes (but not always) find improvements, but the soul-searching and efforts are always worth it.
thanks again for a thought-provoking post.
kathy in iowa
and may God bless us all!
kathy in iowa
Thanks, Kathy! Some the best answers are the simplest ones!!
yes. and when we are in pain, struggling with something or are just too busy, those answers aren’t always obvious. nearly every day i need to remind myself to “keep it simple”. and i pray. :)
hope you both have a great weekend!
kathy in iowa
Thanks also for the treats you sent us and Scout.
you are welcome!
kathy in iowa
What a wonderful post! I live in “John Wayne Land” in South Texas. (And I must add that I absolutely hate it.) My husband was born and raised in Texas and left at the age of 25 when he joined the US Air Force. I believe his time in the Air Force is what made him a good man. And no I do not mean the soldier. Yes he gave much of himself for his country to which he is disabled now but I know he would do it again without regret. Being in the Air Force gave him compassion for others. It gave him an open mind and most of all an open heart. It taught him not to judge but to respond with careful thought, kindness and compassion.
Yes a lot of the good in him came from “Texas”. I am proud to say that he has the good of Texas in him and not all of the horrid other things. So I think for me a good man would have to come down to one word – kindness. I recently saw a comment……”Kindness. It doesn’t cost a damn thing. Sprinkle that shit everywhere.”
And I must add from all that I know of you Don from this blog and your lovely wife I would have to say that you fit the definition of a good man. Thank you for sharing your thoughts here with us. Such a joy to read! Have a most lovely day!
Belinda, Thanks so very much for your thought-provoking comment. And thanks to your husband for his service. You really got me think about my tendency to stereotype. Of course! Why wouldn’t many of the principals of serving in uniform lead to a better man? Well said! And, I love your reducing the answer to one word: Kindness. That sums it all up, doesn’t it? And I have to steal that quote about spreading that shit all around. Love it!!
Hello Don-good to hear from you! I believe a good man seeks not to further himself and his desires but works for the good of all despite whatever barriers are thrown up in his path. In my opinion President Obama exemplifies this in his actions and words. Lord knows if I had been provoked as he surely has been over the last 8 years, continuously and without reason other than to do just that I would have flipped out and shown my evil-er side.
It is refreshing to hear from both of you thoughts that could be my own written so eloquently!
Sue, I’m with you! If I had half the equilibrium the President has I’d be a better and happier person. It’s like he’s a “grown up.’ Now, how the hell you do that?!
Dear Don, I enjoyed your post very much! I”m not very eloquent with words but as I read through the responses I realized that I agree very much with what everyone said but in particular with Regina-Anne and Sue Carr. Very simply, they hit the nail on the head for me. I would enjoy reading more posts from you and Claudia as well!
Gayle, I couldn’t agree more! They did hit the nail on the head. And EVERYONE has added some great things to think about. And you sound plenty darn eloquent to me.
My hubby read your post as did I…and he was struck by the words….”strength with gentleness, power with compassion, conviction with an open mind, and confidence with humility.” This, to us, would be the description of a good man. I think you really got that right. But, as Regina Anne stated…perhaps those are qualities that we should all strive for…men and women. I don’t really see a gender difference there. We all need to be better human beings. Thank you for this thoughtful post…but, I would expect nothing less from Claudia’s hubby! ;)
Donnamae, Thanks!!!! I’m glad your husband liked the post too and I appreciate both of you. Wow. You summed it up! What I’m getting from this post is very helpful. Maybe the question doesn’t even apply anymore? Maybe, “What makes a good PERSON” is the way to now look at it. Thanks for helping me to see this.
Dear Don & Claudia, (I know she reads this blog every day,) That is a GREAT, thought-provoking post! Now having said that,while I firmly believe the comments about, Everyone need treat everyone else with decency and respect. The reality is, roughly half of the people have a boat load of testosterone onboard.It’s real and it’s Powerful, and I think that is a pretty big part of the muddying of the waters. Such a huge question,where does a man get his moral compass? Can two different ideas of morality,be valid?
It really is good to hear from you Don, Very interesting Post,Thank YOU -Judy A-
Judy,
Excellent! And thanks so much. What you said was a really good reality check, and added a very unique point to the discussion not brought up: Men & women DO have different chemicals and natural biological elements at work. But, maybe what Belinda said still applies to us all, and is a gender-neutral quality that trumps (sorry about that, no pun intended) our physicality? Kindness!
POINT TAKEN !
Hurray, Don!
To be a man is to be brave enough, strong enough, love enough, and cares enough to ask the question and not be dismayed by the answers. Because he already knows.
Your post brought tears to my eyes. It’s that kind of post. Yes, yes it is. Tears are healing, and sometimes we women forget what it is for a man to be a man, We accept the status quo. It shouldn’t have to be that way forus. However, as women it will continue until we say enough is enough and as you asked find out what a being man really is about.
I protested the war. I protested the draft. But, never did I protest the ones who had to go over there. Drafted or otherwise they went to do a thankless job. I am proud of them all.
Thank you Don. For a heartfelt post. I will save this one in my archives.
Trudy,
Such a great comment! That you were wise enough to find that balance of exercising your beliefs about the war and yet express the support and empathy for the soldiers is so admirable. It shows we can hold differing opinions even within ourselves and act admirably. Thanks, Trudy!
Great story and writing, Don. I enjoyed your post immensely!
Thanks, Barbara! I really appreciate your taking the time to read and comment.
Claudia has already shown in this blog, over a long period of time, that she has a really great man among men and, Don, you affirmed so in this post today. A thoughtful man will now have witnessed and read enough about DT to become immersed in conversations with both men and women about it/him, as has my own husband, because all of this torrid stuff in the news has given us pause. A pause I guess we needed. Like any good reminder. Worst behaviors stand out and show us clearly how we must not be, as Americans, as humans. It gives us new resolve. Fortification. It’s a shame it has to happen through a bad example, when you wish you hadn’t have had to have the bad example as a reminder in the first place, but if we learn and improve and evolve, then something positive at least comes out of the bad experience. If I had a granddaughter or a grandson right now, I’d copy your post and give it to them as part of golden rules to live by, ‘no matter what the world may say or do’ (that’s a line from a little book my own mother gave me when I turned age 16 about standing up for right and being a strong girl without losing her femininity and all the things that make a girl a good person).
With Dylan so much in the news lately, what an interesting story on many levels from you today! Thanks for sharing it, and your thoughts.
Something I really value in anyone but I think particularly in a man is the gift of being a good listener. And a good sounding board. It’s hard for some men; they’re more silent. But one thing I absolutely cannot tolerate from anyone is boorishness. Why be so unelegant; so undignified? So self-centered.
I read something recently which had to do with the new(er) husband of actress Jennifer Aniston (who was formerly married to actor Brad Pitt, another guy in the entertainment news a lot these days). The current husband is actor Justin Theroux and he was asked about any secrets to successful marriage (he and she have married later in life, in their 40s). He was quoted as saying, “Be kind. Approach each situation with kindness.” Sage advice!
Thanks so much, Vicki! You are too kind but i truly appreciate your comments as well as your observations. Kindness! I love how you distilled it down to that. What could be more simple and doable? Even if some days we merely act, “as if.”
Thanks, Vicki!
It’s so nice you replied to everyone’s comments. Hope we hear from you occasionally as a guest author. This entire post and comments was very insightful for me. Other than my husband, I don’t really have conversations with other men about this subject matter. There just aren’t enough guys in my life with whom I feel comfortable enough to share opinions, so it was really great to get your perspective. All of us who regularly read Claudia’s blog feel like we know you! Feels safe. Feels like a really great conversation. It WAS a great conversation!
Yes. What kind of PEOPLE do we want to be? The political advertisements that encourage parents to think about their children’s futures and to think about setting a good example for them are the most powerful, in my opinion. The world will be theirs before we know it.
This is from the comedian Wanda Sykes:
“I’m just tired of hearing, ‘He has to learn how to be presidential, he has to learn how to be measured, he has to learn not be so impulsive,’” she says of Trump. “These are things I’m teaching my 7-year-olds. He’s 70. It’s too late. That’s who he is. He’s not all of a sudden going to become a decent human being.”
His party allegiance is immaterial to me at this point; I just don’t want him to represent us to the rest of the world.
It is a shame that he has taken down the party of Lincoln with him.
Thank you, Don, for this thoughtful and thought-provoking post.
Nancy,
I loved reading your post. And Wanda brings up a good point! And you’re right: the world WILL be the children’s before you know it. Those advertisements encouraging parents to think of them are powerful. Thanks so much Nancy for taking the time to read my guest post and to comment. I truly appreciate it.
I loved your post and the comments that have followed. Thank you for sharing your story and your thoughts~
Thanks to you, Susan! It was my pleasure!
Enjoyed this post very much Don. I wish there were more open minded men like you that were honest, considerate and thoughtful. Claudia is a lucky lady as I tell her all the time!
Aw, Linda! Thanks! I’ve found this experience very enlightening!
Hi Don! You are as talented a story-teller as your wife is, and I really enjoyed reading this post.
I know that your country is currently being tried and tested by what is happening within your political areas over the past couple of years, and you pose a great question regarding what makes men manly or what kind of men do you want men to be? It is interesting to me you used Alan Alda as an example of the sensitive guy because I would have used Bob Dylan and although John Wayne may be considered as a macho type I would not have equated him with a Donald Trump.
My point is that a lot of what may make men “manly” may be what type they chose to identify themselves as, and since that “ideal” may vary from region to region, there is really is NO hard and fast IDEAL when we are comparing men with other men.
Besides which, each “type” does a different kind of job. The John Waynes of this world lead, as you say, with their fists and are what most armies would like to have more of in battle. Yet the Dylan activists are what keep that aggression in check and the violence from going too far. The Alan Alda’s are the best kind of general observers, (although perhaps, they are not the best fighters) however they serve to keep the records straight, regarding the truth of the circumstances as they actually are.
And all of these three of these types I would consider to be “manly” albeit they are very different from each other.
Personally I believe that what makes a man Manly or the kind of man that other men should want to emulate has nothing to do with type but everything to do with Character. A real man is one who has Love, Wisdom and Discernment as his chief characteristics. A manly man is one seeks to understand others first! He is one who picks his battles carefully, knows how to act accordingly, chooses his words or actions effectively, and finally knows how to reflect on what history has taught him, then uses that knowledge as a guide to steer towards his future.
Elizabeth, So many great observations! I especially liked your point about each type serving a function. A kind of balancing system, each checking the others. Actually, the Alda reference was just bringing back the kind of coverage he got from the media back when. Sort of touted as, “the new male.” But your perceptive comments tied it all together. Very informative!!
Don, Loved your post! What is a man…who is a man is hard to answer and define in today’s society. And being a woman and Buddhist makes it even more so. I had a conversation with a Buddhist friend recently who is a man in his mid 60’s about owning a gun and male violence and evolving into a conversation about”being a man”. He explained that boasting, pounding once’s chest to spout one’s maleness is not acceptable. The” intimidating male prowess” does nothing more than encourage more of the same leading to what Trump is offering us as an example to what some men showed be today. No…please give us women more of Alan Alda as he is the true example of what a real man should be! He shows the sensitivity, intelligence and just enough of the male prowess but without the overpowering intimidation. He shows his strength by standing his ground with his intelligence and at times his silence. Silence can be a stronger {and kinder} image than the yelling bully like Trump.
Ryan-Julee,
What can I say? You covered it all better than I could. Thanks so much!!
Completely agree with my fellow commenters today, most especially Regina Anne & Nancy in PA. The bottom line is that whether we are male or female is a relatively unimportant fact in the vast scheme of things. Our lives will likely be judged on their goodness. Both here on Earth, and for those of us who believe, in the Afterlife. I doubt much if any attention will be paid to our genders, or in how well we exemplified them. I have a good friend who is a little famous in our crowd for something she first said, in college back in the mid-70s, when we were sitting around a dining hall table discussing religion one night after dinner. She’d been quiet for most of our rather-spirited discussion [no pun intended] but then, in the middle of a lull, said “I don’t think it matters. I don’t think ANYTHING matters – except how we treat each other…” And the rest of us were pretty stunned at how this simple statement DID sum things up. Now I use this line a lot in my own life, whether I’m feeling good – or not so good – about things. How successful we might be, how much money we might have, who our friends are, where we live, the awards and accolades we might get, the cars we drive, etc etc. They really DO NOT MATTER. The only thing that’s important is how we treat each other.
PS – very thought-provoking post, Don. Sincere THANKS for taking the time and trouble to write. Sincere HOPES that you feel like doing it again! 🍁
Yes, Janet! And, especially, how we treat those we have nothing to “gain” from being kind to. That parking attendant, the waitress, the older person on a bus who wants to talk and feel engaged again. I loved your comment!
Thanks, Don. Your reply made me think of one of the first quotes I ever wrote in my “quotes” journal, which I started long ago after I decided I should be recording some of the wonderful quotes I’d been hearing & reading in college etc.
“You can learn so much about a person from the way he treats someone who can do absolutely nothing for him….” Malcolm Forbes
Have a great weekend!
Wonderful post, Don! I enjoyed it very much and hope to read more from you in the future.
I agree with others here stating that we all need to be kind and compassionate people. Man or woman.
I married a man that is kind and sensitive. Some would say he is not manly enough. I say he is everything a man should be!
Lily,
It’s what YOU think that counts! Sounds like you’ve got a real truth we could all benefit from. Thanks!
Don,
I come out of lurkdom every now and then to comment on some brilliant post your wonderful wife gifts us with. Now here I am compelled to come out of the shadows yet again by you, her equally talented husband.
Wow, you write brilliantly – can I just say I’d love to be at the dinner table with the two of you, what sparkling conversationalists you must both be!
What we need, Don, is a few good men like YOU to write amazing posts like THIS – and we need it BAD. We need to hear more often from thoughtful, considerate, interesting men like you.
Thank you for this. You are an antidote to what ails us all during this election season. (and thank you as always Claudia for your continued offerings of intelligent & civilized discourse)
Karen
Thanks, Karen! I hope you come out of the “lurking shadows” more often. You’ve got a heckuva lot to offer! I love your writing style!
Don, I was also thinking “why do we have to be defined as man or woman in these matters.” Of course, knowing that we don’t live in a perfect world we realize that is the way it has always been and probably will be for a very long time…I believe that “strength with gentleness, power with compassion, conviction with an open mind, and confidence with humility” are qualities that we need to strive for…and also what we desperately need to teach children…Teaching them by example not only leads them to the right path but also re-enforces these qualities in ourselves…As for your question…”What is a good/strong man?”…I see those qualities as a mental/emotional asset, not having to do with anything physical…Many men who are physically fit are mentally/emotionally weak…“Strength of the mind is more powerful than strength of the muscles.” ― Ana Monnar
Thank you for an interesting, thought provoking post…If I was asked to name a man I thought possessed these good qualities it would be you…You know, I once asked Claudia if we ladies could have you cloned…she wouldn’t go along with it so I suppose we will just have to be content with her telling us what a good, kind and loving husband you are to her…and we thank you for that because she is very dear to us…Nancy
Oh, Nancy! Your support has always been appreciated by Claudia, and now by me. The shoes you made for me feel a little hard to step into! But you really nailed it. It’s not so much a physical/gender thing, is it? It’s about the kind of PERSON one is. And about time!
Incredibly powerful Don.
What’cha doing in 2020?
Jane
Voting for Bob Dylan! Thanks, so much Jane!
I’m coming a little late to this party, but I’ve enjoyed reading the comments and your responses. Your post touched on material that is on so many minds thanks to the Republican nominee. My two sons are in their twenties and it was so interesting, troubling, amusing, terrifying, and now (just the beginning of) gratifying to watch them come to terms with the concept of ‘manliness’. They had a good in-house role model, my husband-their dad, but their peers were a mixed bag of good and bad reinforcement. I’m glad that is a memory for me as a mother. Thank you for stepping up and speaking up.
As we say here in Georgia “Don’t be a stranger” here on Claudia’s blog. I’d love to hear from you again.
Thanks, Kaye! Your sons sound like they turned out pretty darn well! Glad to hear they had a good role model in your husband, as well as from a great mom. If we ever get down that way we won’t be a stranger! Maybe dinner someday, who knows!!
What is a manly man? Have you seen the guy in the commercial who dresses up as a fairy princess for his daughter? Have you seen the picture of President of the United States Obama wearing a tiara with girl scouts? Those are reallllllly manly men!! My favorite type!! those guys who carry guns and drive big pick ups to prove their manliness? I think they doth protest too much!! BABIES!!!
Jan, I HAVE seen that commercial and I love it! And the picture with the President. Such a good point. Maybe I need to ask for a tiara for Christmas?
Thanks!!
Best thing I read all week. Thank you!
Thanks, Don, for a very thoughtful and timely post!