In my younger days, I was quite the clothes horse. I didn’t spend a lot of money on clothes – I never really had that kind of budget – but I liked being put together and stylish. I wore earrings every day; my favorites were long and dangly or big, round hoops. I loved wearing makeup that highlighted my eyes, which I always considered my best feature. I was tall, thin and never seemed to gain a pound.
What the heck happened?
Well, many things happened. I no longer teach full-time, where I would have to put together an outfit and look presentable every day. I hang around the house far more often than not. I don’t really have the funds to buy new clothes, much as I would like to. A new pair of jeans is a major expense. Yesterday I bought a pack of white crew socks from the supermarket and it was a big deal.
I got older. My body has changed. My hips are wider, I am no longer the very thin woman I was.
I hardly ever wear makeup. I know I look better with it on, believe me. I often feel that I look rather monotone without makeup. I’m pale, my hair is going gray, my eyebrows aren’t as dark as they were. It all sort of blends together. But wearing makeup takes time and taking it off, especially eye makeup, is a drag. So I avoid it.
I often let my hair dry naturally and sometimes forget to run a brush through it.
I have lots of jewelry and I love jewelry. But I hardly ever wear it. Bracelets, though lovely, move around on my wrist and get in my way. Necklaces? Only occasionally. I look at my jewelry and admire it and I’ll take a few pieces along to Hartford, but will I wear it? Probably only on opening night. Somehow it doesn’t feel quite right when I wear it. It doesn’t feel like me.
I used to wear rings on both hands. Now, I wear my wedding rings and that’s it.
I have to remind myself to wear earrings every once in a while because I’m worried my pierced ears might close up.
On one hand, this is all very freeing. I’ve accepted what I feel comfortable with, whittled down all the stuff I used to do to a bare-bones regimen that seems to suit me.
On the other hand, have I let things slide too much?
I was talking to Don about this yesterday. I got worried that I must be looking rather bland lately: no makeup, sweatshirts and jeans, hair too long, not as thin as I used to be. You know the drill. Should I sport some makeup every day? Should I do this? Should I do that?
Don thinks I look beautiful. He doesn’t seem to be concerned about these things that bother me. He loves me and he sees me through love’s eyes. I’m grateful for that. He will immediately respond that he thinks I look more beautiful than ever. And I think he truly means just that.
When I go to Hartford, I will dutifully put on makeup every day and do my best to look presentable with the basic clothing that I have.
But what is a healthy letting go and what is too much letting go? Do you know what I mean? Do you struggle with this? I love the idea of being true to me, of reaching a level of acceptance that I didn’t have when I was younger and more concerned with looking a certain way. But this can also move into apathy and I don’t want that. I don’t want to be bound to all the crap that we’re bombarded with every day in the media as to what’s beautiful and what’s not. Or spend a ton of money on things to help me look more beautiful as I age. Oh no. I want to age with grace and acceptance.
Not always easy.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, my friends.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Egg cups for today:
Left: This is my largest egg cup. These used to come in a set of two, but I only have one. The tops are salt and pepper shakers. The bottom is the egg cup. I really love this egg cup – the paint colors, the look on the egg’s face – it’s really beautiful. It has an Occupied Japan stamp on the bottom, which makes it more valuable than the standard Made in Japan marking.
Right: A pig holding a fork and a spoon, getting ready to dine on an egg. This was made for Tiffany and Co. by Elizabethan Staffordshire, Fine Bone China, England. I love that darn pig. Look at that face!
Both of these egg cups are displayed on a small hanging shelf in the den.
Happy Thursday.
I am with you on this, I have let myself go and I am not all that worried about it, maybe I should be. I wear seats or my adapted yoga pants to work now because if my expanding backside. I never wear foundation, a bit of cream blush and a bit of mascara and that is it, only if I am going to work. My hair is pulled up most days is a wacky bun, it is too thin to be down. I swear there are days I don’t even shower. The problem is being married to a husband who really does care what he looks like, so letting myself totally go is not an option.
Love you sister and thanks for the link yesterday.
Mere
well, I don’t want to let go totally, either – but there is something rather nice about letting go a bit.
Oh this is a great post and a really interesting question to ponder. I used to never go out of the house without makeup, not even to go grocery shopping. Of course, when I worked a regular job I was always dressed up and had full makeup on. But as I got older, I find I spend more time outdoors, in the woods hiking, or on the lake, so I don’t bother with make up.
So I think I’ve hit a happy medium – work related or social function – nice clothes and makeup because sometimes it’s fun to get dressed up and put on jewelry and fix my face. Otherwise, I don’t bother and I schlep around in hiking boots with my hair sticking up in the air. LOL.
Good for you, Kim!
Wow…Lots of food for thought….I agree that the older we get, simplicity seems to be the way to go. As for hair, I can’t stand it hanging down in my face or falling in my eyes if i bend over so I do keep it short now. I think it favors my face shape anyway. Takes just a few minutes to wash and dry. I do put on makeup everyday. I could say that I do it for my own vanity, which I do, but I also do it for anyone who has to look at me…even the neighbors. I was sick a few weeks ago and did not put on a speck of makeup for days and my son and family came over and they looked at me like I was an alien and told me that wow…I really did look sick! As for clothes, I do like slugging around in my jeans or yoga pants around the house which is mostly what I do. Gaining weight after menopause, alot of clothes that I am hanging on to are a little snug and who wants to put on anything tight.? I guess I feel that I want to look my best for my age…which in turn makes me feel good about myself and I do want to look good for hubby. I think that is important. Just trying to keep it simple. ~Hugs, Patti
Me too, but husband tells me I look good just the way I am, so that’s a relief. Although, our joke is that whenever he says, spontaneously, “you look so pretty today” I invariably have makeup on!
Good questions. I guess you have to decide what makes you feel good, not what you think you “should” do/wear. I wear basic make-up every day but rarely dress up or wear jewelry. I agree with Patti; I got so sick of hair hanging in my eyes I had it cut short about two years ago and still like it. Lifestyles change, and I think how we dress, etc is bound to reflect that. Don’t lose any sleep over it!
I’d love to wear my hair short, but believe me, it doesn’t look good on me!
P.S. In all my wordly advice, I forgot to comment on your egg cups! Too cute! Love the pig! Never saw an s & p set before. Neat!
Well I feel I could write a book on this subject – but I know you don’t want it here Claudia! I do like to shower, wash and blow dry hair (which is cut and colored every 5 weeks), and dress in something casual each day. I do a light makeup job most days – thank goodness primers and BB creams are now available, they help a lot when one is looking at the 3 score years and ten birthday approaching! If I feel a bit under the weather and know for certain I will not be leaving the house/having company/working in the garden, I may skip the face except for lipstick – I feel I look like I’m at deaths door without red lips! I always dress up a bit to go out whether the grocery store or a meal, and extra special effort is made for theater, parties and social occasions. I love clothes, shoes, boots, accessories, silver jewelry…….and confess I have far too much of all the aforementioned! Wear small silver ball earrings, rings, bracelet and a watch as my basics – have a nice collection of bolder pieces for ‘dressing up’.
I do think most women want to continue to look their best even if no longer employed outside the home. A basic wardrobe is easy to maintain (yes, I know mine is too big!) once you know your best colors, or keep it neutral as I’m prone to doing. A good haircut is important – it makes a huge difference – neat nails, making your best facial feature shine forth, and perhaps a light spray of something delicious, will have one ready for anything the day presents………and feel good about oneself.
I won’t go there when it comes to weight and shape – just know aging brings odd changes to our bodies and we’ll never again have the one we had at age 18!
Love and hugs to you, a beautiful woman always.
Mary X
I have pale lips, Mary, and, like you, I feel brighter and prettier with lipstick on. And I love a spritz of perfume. xo
I still feel the need to put on a little makeup each day. My ears are double pierced and I wear small gold hoops in one piercing and gold hoops, that are a little larger, in the lower piercings. I feel naked without them. I have worn them for many years. I have other earrings, but anything but gold makes my earlobes very sore and even infected.
As for clothing. I am a jeans and tee shirt gal. Goodwill has 99 cent jeans days frequently, and all of my jeans are from those sales. I have found designer jeans, new jeans with tags and like new jeans for years, at that price. I buy tees on line, when LL Bean, Lands’ End or Cabela’s have great clearance sales. I have lots of nice tops from
Goodwill, too. I purchase the best ones I can find, because the price is the same on all of them. I have Ralph Lauren, Pendelton, and many other expensive items that I paid a few dollars for. You really don’t have to pay a lot of money for nice things.
You look great, and as long as you are comfortable and happy with yourself, you don’t need accoutrements.
nancyr
I used to be able to wear any kind of metal in my ears, but not anymore. I have to wear gold, too.
Funny you should mention this, honey. ;-) I’ve been giving it MUCH thought lately.
I’m happy in my own skin. My hair is short so I don’t have to bother with tying it up but I do the very least I can in keeping it looking nice. I have a perm and a cut at the beauty shop and that’s it. It’s a color I have grown to love since I bleached it blond in the 60s. I love its color today, even with the gray.
Clothes? In the 80s I would spend about $8,000 to $10,000 a year (in 80s dollars) on clothes. I have the most fantastic wardrobe ever…up in the garage attic. Nothing fits anymore! I fight the weight problem also. Make-up? Why waste it if I stay at home and don’t see anyone all day. When I go out, usually a few times a week, I put it on so as to not scare people. I’ve been told I don’t need it. Pshaw on that!!! I’ll never look like a fashion model, but they don’t look like themselves when they’re not modeling either, famous stars, etc. included. I’ll never get a facelift or anything like that. I want to age gracefully and not wake up one morning and have it all fall down in one fell swoop! That’s what happens with plastic surgery. I want to look like me. Beside, I know my body will be perfect in the next life.
I wear old pants around the house and T-shirts mostly. I’m neat and clean and made-up when we got to dinner or a store. Life is real; it’s not a Hollywood movie!
My hubby says that when he looks at me he sees that young bride descending the stairs in my wedding dress 52 years ago. I’ve heard him tell other people this also. How could I ask for anything more than that—to have that kind of love after 52 years and counting? Hmmm??? I just put it all into perspective and go along with my life and try not to fret about it much.
xoxo,
Connie
We have good husbands, don’t we, Connie? No face lifts for me, either. I am who I am.
Claudia, what a thought provoking post. I find myself in a similar situation… I no longer have a job where I have to spruce up, but I have to say my favorite clothes have always been a good pair of jeans and a nice fitting t-shirt. I always wear earrings, have two piercings, so the second holes never change. The first holes usually have something dangly or hoops. I put just a minimal amount of makeup on every day , even if I’m not leaving the house – same as I have all of my adult years, a little undereye concealer, small amount of eye liner and mascara, lip balm. Only takes a few wipes of a make up remover pad to get it off, and it really does help me to feel more feminine, although I am definitely the tom boy type. My grandmother did all these things into her eighties simply because it made her feel more “put together” and she liked to celebrate her feminine side. I think it’s a very individual thing. If you feel comfortable going au-naturale, I say stick with what makes you happy. Don was clear in his thoughts and so you don’t need to do this for the respect and love of your husband. If you primp at all, do it because it uplifts YOU.
I use a makeup remover pad, too, Karen – but my eyes seem to be so much more sensitive to mascara than they used to be. And it’s always been my favorite.
As usual, you have very eloquently put your personal voice to a situation that so many of us are wrestling with. ‘Dressing up’ feels like Halloween. Jeans, tshirts, turtlenecks, clogs, etc … it’s the uniform of life. Most of my clothes are from second-hand shops, because that’s where the ones with personality are now.
For makeup, a quick routine of tinted moisturizer, eyeliner and eyebrow powder, with a light touch of lipstick usually does the trick. My hair is short, very short right now, and I ‘do’ it with a dollop of gel and my fingers.
It has taken 50+ years for me to evolve to this point, and I am very happy with the result … and I have thoroughly enjoyed the journey.
(p.s.. I think your grey hair is FABULOUS!)
Ah, thank you, Connie!
Very thought provoking, Claudia. I know exactly what you mean – I used to work in fashion about 70 lbs ago and had a great wardrobe. I have a mother who doesn’t leave the house without every hair in place, full makeup and a perfectly co-ordinated outfit right down to the accessories. We, her daughters, wonder what happened to us. Sometimes I go out to run errands and pray I don’t run into anyone I know. I have actually snuck around the grocery store to avoid someone because I’m out looking like a third world refugee. Where is the line between comfortable, casual and letting yourself go? I think I’ve crossed it and I think the gauge is the level of embarrassment you feel if you run into someone you know. I do try to always have my hair nice. I have this feeling that I can’t have a good day if my hair doesn’t look nice but I think I need to start asking myself upon the leaving the house “Would you be embarrassed to be seen today by someone you know?”
Yes, Julie, I’ve been there – in a public place where I looked a mess! Oy, Embarrassing.
Claudia, I believe it is a simple matter of a shift in Priorities. Hopefully through our life experiences we have learned where we really want to spend our time. I don’t believe any of us here would let our selves go to the point of being a problem, or an intervention candidate. But Simply stand in front of the mirror, or spend time with loved ones? No Brainer! -Judy A-
From my point of view, anyway! -Judy A
I agree, Judy.
I hear you. And I am right there with you. I used to work in retail….ladies fashion. I had suits and dresses and shoes ! I was so proud of my shoes. For every outfit there were three pair of shoes. ’cause you never want to be caught with the wrong pair of shoes. I had the hair and makeup as well. And nails….long beautiful (back then ) nails.
Now? Jeans. T shirts. Sweats. No make up. Air-dried hair. and whenever possible…..NO SHOES .
My old jewelry lives in my craft room and is used as embellishment on projects.
My shoes have been painted and sold at craft fairs. Old clothes found there way into quilts.
My skin fits just fine.
And I no longer worry about my makeup if I should happen to be brought to tears by an old song on the radio while stopped at a traffic light.
Wonderful post today ! Thank you.
oops….. must not rely on spellcheck…..I know” there” should have been” their”. darn typos.
Love, love the way you said this, Marianne. Not worrying about mascara running because of tears is a good, good thing!
xo
Claudia,
Being a Texas gal, dressing up, wearing make- up and fixing our hair daily is pretty common place. I actually enjoy doing all these things. I know there are certain things about aging that I have no control over, but taking the time to look my best is one I do. I have been adding to my jewelry collection via the Kohl’s clearance rack and playiing around with how to dress from my closet to come up with new outfits. It has been fun. Thanks for your daily postings as I look forward to reading them. PS- I am coveting your egg cup collection. It is so cute!
Thank you, Shari. I know the whole makeup hair thing is different in the South. I’m a midwestern girl by birth, so I wasn’t necessarily brought up with that sensibility.
I’m trying to dress from my closet – but I must admit the closet needs some new clothes!
Both my sisters wear makeup but I don’t. As I’ve lost and gained weight over the years my face has become lined and I just can’t get makeup to look right on me. I don’t even own any now. My hair is short and I love the way the gray is growing in, it looks sort of like it’s been frosted. I get most of my clothes from thrift stores. At home it’s capris and comfortable tees. When I go to town it’s jeans and a nice cotton blouse. I do own some nice outfits that I wear to church and that’s the only time I wear jewelry. I remember feeling so bad about the way I looked when I was younger. Now I feel like I’ve sort of grown into the woman I was always meant to be and I’m pretty cofortable with it. Your post made me think about how all of us get to the point in life where if we come to accept what we really like about ourselves we can be happier. Thank’s Claudia!
It’s all about acceptance, isn’t it, Janie? Thanks so much.
I identify with everything you have said here. In my “working outside the home” days, I always had a great outfit and people would even ask for my advice in putting an outfit of their own together. I love jewerly and finally realized I could buy it for myself and did. I, like you, love to look at the jewerly I have, but rarely wear it. I am blonde, so without makeup, look like a blank canvas. I look better with makeup, as most of us do, but still rarely take the time. I have learned that mineral powder makeup is all I can stand the feel of on my skin anymore. That and a little blush is all I can manage when I do take the time. I don’t makeup my eyes any more, because I can’t stand the feel of mascara!!!! I think I’ve tried them all over the years, and never found one that worked for me, so I just don’t bother any more and I’m not spending any more money on makeup that just sits in a drawer. Having said all this, I still feel much more comfortable with myself, than in the younger days, when I looked much more stylish.
Good for you, Gina! I went through a period where I wanted lots of jewelry. I’ve sold most of the 14k and 18k stuff – the money was welcome here at the cottage. And I find I don’t miss it at all.
Wasn’t going to comment as my ears aren’t pierced and clips give me headaches. I can’t afford the upkeep of a short hairstyle, right now. My clothing choices are mostly what doesn’t look ridiculous to me – and that from the thrift store or clearance rack. But, one thing I have observed: skipping the makeup fashion thing looks far better than overdoing it, IMO (which is seldom humble.) :)
Oh yes, overdoing it does not look good at all!
Claudia, I could just HUG you!
Everything you said is exactly the way I’ve been feeling these last couple of years. It’s good to know it’s not just me. I like to look nice, but I’m less concerned with all the shopping and make-up and all of that. Mostly I would make the effort on Sunday for church but even then I would dress simply with a little makeup to hide the imperfections. Being on staff at the church now (Pastor of Women) I do have to step it up a notch because I’m more in the public eye and I don’t want to come across as the plain old ‘Church Lady’. :D I’m working on finding the balance between the two. By the way, I have always thought you were quite beautiful and very elegant, even in your jammies. Seriously, you come across as being very serene and sophisticated. Very Classy. I think I want to be you when I grow up. :P
Love ya. Have a good day.
~ Cassandra
Thank you, Cassandra, for your kind words. It helps me knowing that so many of us are working through the same thing and that we’re doing it in the way that feels good to us!
What if I want to be you when I grow up??
Well…I know I’ve let myself go to a point. I guess I have a different attitude about myself than when I was in my 20’s and 30’s. I moisturize, use eyeliner and mascara, put on some color on my lips, and call it done. I do get my hair hi lighted…I am vain about my hair…but that’s about it. Hubby and I have recently gone gluten free…and it makes a difference in how we feel, which I think is most important. As far as my wardrobe goes…I am stylistically challenged. I wear oversized men’s shirts and pants at home. We don’t go out a whole lot, but if we do, it’s a nice t-shirt, and jeans. I always wear my wedding rings and earrings. It’s Madison..a very casual city! ;)
Yay for Madison! I love college towns. I’d love them no matter what, but casual? A very good thing!
Good Morning Claudia! This is an interesting subject for me. As a younger woman I was tall, blonde and thin. I wore fashionable clothing, make-up, jewelry-the works. Of course, I also loved my jeans and t-shirts for camping, hiking, etc. About 5 years ago my eyes swelled up overnight. It turned out to be a make-up allergy. Same brand I had used for years. I tried several other brands “guaranteed” to not cause allergies. Same thing. So here I am today, make-up free for years and loving it. So does hubby. He says it’s much nicer kissing me without all the “goop” on my face! Who am I to argue?! I’ve found myself preferring dresses over jeans for comfort for years and years now. Probably at least the last 10 or so. Since it’s sometimes hard to find dresses that cover the parts of me that I want covered, I find myself making most of them. Nothing against jeans, but I’m MUCH more comfortable in my skirts/dresses. And my hair. Well it’s long, still blonde with a little grey sprinkled in, but since I began wearing a head covering about a year ago, pretty much only my family sees it anymore. It is very freeing, wearing this covering. I don’t have to worry about how my hairt looks, is it time to color or cut it? I usually wear a snood, so it’s kept off my neck in the hot months. Maybe it’s not what the rest of the world sees as attractive, but then, I’m not trying to please the rest of the world am I? I shower and dress and only have about 8 different things to choose from to wear. As I said before, it’s very freeing and I think how a lot of people used to live. Without so many choices. Without so much confusion. Without so much competition with others in the way we dress and look. I finally realized that it was a bit about competition if we are honest and think aboutf it. How do we compare to other women around us and on T.V. and in magazines?
Wow! I didn’t mean to write a book. Sorry about that. Be yourself Claudia. It’s the best you can give to ANYONE!
Blessings,
Betsy
You are so right – competition does enter in, Betsy. And when we stop comparing ourselves to others, we are much freer.
I look forward to retiring in one year and living a more casual clothing style. I love my jewelry – and will continue alternating it out seasonly. The biggest change will be taking better care of myself and walking daily. So tired of this rat race – past time to “smell the roses” and plant a few more rose bushes too!!
Have a Blessed Easter Weekend!
I know you will love being able to get out of the rat race and enjoy your retirement, Suzan.
First Claudia, I love that pig! Okay now about moving into phase two of life. Well, I, like most woman, feel no different inside. Now I have changed body type and I have finally accepted I will never be 118lbs. again, which does help my image in my mind. As for clothing, I have always thrift shopped, mostly because there are not too many trends I like out there. It is too bad you do not have a Value Village there because that is my go to store. I have bought so many fabulous things there including coats and handbags. Now, I have worn makeup since I was 13 and whether my husband notices or not I get up every morning, have my shower and do my face, for me. It just makes me feel better. I also never leave the house without my earrings on but that is something I got from my great grandmother. She always wore earrings, necklace and rings and bracelets when she went out even to grocery shop.
You are lovely Claudia and you have fabulous hair! I wish I had that thick hair. We do what makes us feel better. As women, we do so much and comfort is essential to how we keep going. Whatever makes you feel good, that’s what I say and that applies to any phase of life.
Have a lovely weekend,
Sue
Well, my hair isn’t thick, Sue. It may look like that but it’s baby fine and it can drive me nuts! I used to have very thick hair when I was a child, but not so much anymore.
I used to dress up and wear makeup when I worked with the public. That kind of job ended and I now deal with dermatitis on my face as well. So no makeup for me and I really don’t miss spending time putting it on. My hair is either in a braid or a bun to keep it out of my face. I dress for comfort though I do like colorful clothes and for them to match. My one vanity is I color my hair, the gray makes me feel too old.
I don’t really care what other people think anymore, if they don’t like how I look then they don’t have to look at me. I have no one to please but myself and that’s a lot easier than dealing with someone who (who’s never been there) thinks I should lose weight.
More power to you for just being you, you are perfect as you are.
Thank you. On one hand, I do care what I look like, but that’s important to me. What others think is something that doesn’t matter to me anymore.
Oh the make up conundrum. I think when I realized that my eyelids had fallen is when I stopped trying. Seriously, why spend time to line and shadow when you can’t see it? I also can’t figure out what kind of foundation I should be wearing. I suppose if I had more money I could explore that, but, I don’t. (I have been unemployed for two years after teaching for 21 years.)
My teaching clothes are now snug. :) And I have been having fun wearing leggings and long tops and bright accessories from Goodwill. So comfortable and much more bohemian than anything I had ever worn before. More exciting and in tune with my personality now.
I always wear earrings, usually small gold hoops but sometimes I break out the big dangles and necklaces to go with my outfits.
After writing this I see that I have accepted a different body and embraced a new wardrobe. But I just can’t get over this face! So I ignore it and avoid mirrors. :)
Oh, I totally understand about the face. I am shocked sometimes when I look in the mirror! Like you, I try to avoid it.
Claudia I remember a time when I would not go out of the house without makeup on. Now I hardly ever wear it. Near the end of my working years I developed an eye irritation and had to stop wearing make up. Trauma to me but over time I got use to my very pale self. I sometimes wear a little powder to take down the red in my face but most eye make up is a no for me. I think I use to be prettier…but this is who I am now and I’m OK with it. I do love to wear earrings but other jewelry not so much. Clothes are basic and that’s that! I am comfortable in my own skin. I was never a ‘beauty’ but was cute…..now I’m just OK. It’s hard at times to accept the change but it is what it is. Those who love me do so no matter how I look.
Hugs, Linda
It IS hard, Linda. I often tell Don I wish I still looked like I did in my late thirties, early forties. That seems to have been my prime. The changes are something everyone has to get used to, but boy, sometimes it’s hard. But not just for women. Don struggles with the signs of aging, too.
Never have worn make=up. Never had a desire to. My sisters put some on me when I got married and I didn’t feel like myself. I didn’t like the feel of it or how I felt wearing it. Funny how now my sisters hardly ever wear it either. My hubby use to buy me jewery before we got married. He found out fast that it would just sit in a jewery box. I would forget that I even had it. I think there is some gorgeous jewery out there. But just not for me. People think it is strange that at the ripe “old” age of 57 that I have never dyed my hair. I am lucky though that I don’t have much grey. I still don’t think that I would dye it even if I did. Too lazy to keep it up. My sisters are all at least 4 years younger then me and have more grey. they hate me. Just kidding. Luckily for my hubby I am not into clothes or make-up. I have never been the feminine type. I do not like the color pink. Don’t know why but I don’t. I think this is why my mom never knew what to do with me. Oldest girl and didn’t like girly clothing. What do you do with a girl that never got past the tom boy stage!
I’ve never dyed my hair either, Teresa. I am too cheap to pay for it- whether it is an over the counter kit or in a salon – too much money! Also, keeping up with roots would drive me nuts! So, I’ve just let it be.
Hi Claudia-
This is my birthday week. So far, I’ve pondered all of the above!
Shape, to exercise or not to exercise. Make-up to wear for myself, The Honey…or for the screaming children. (don’t want to frighten anyone). I’m anemic…it is that time of life, when well, cycles aren’t what they used to be. So, sometimes it makes one pale ( or pasty white, as my daughter put it…she meant well).
My Granny turned 39 …just two days before I was born. I have pictures of her when I was 1 year old and her hair is heavily ‘SALTED’ among the PEPPER. I decided a little over a year ago…I’m done with hair coloring. I’m just going to let it go natural. This week, on closer inspection— including eye brows, I’m not quite sure I’ve made the right decision.
I think the silver-salt and pepper hair on women is beautiful…I LOVE YOUR HAIR!
But I just miss my natural strawberry blonde hair. It’s the RED STRANDS that have betrayed me. The brown is still there.
As to my shape and my weight…I’ve lost weight in my jeans; but being busty, …well gravity is working against me.
My eyesight is starting to go…I finally had to get glasses in ’09…and now I think I’m needing a different prescription…
Some days… I just don’t even want to look in a mirror! LOL…
not really, but this week has been a weird one for me.
Just give me jeans and tennies… most days.
-never have been much on jewelry, Pat
Happy Birthday, dear Pat! Every once in a while, I ponder whether going gray was a good idea, but frankly, I’m too cheap to pay for lots of dye jobs! But I miss my dark brown hair, too. I liked the contrast of my hair with my skin tone. Now it all seems the same – skin, hair, eyebrows. And I just stepped up a notch on my readers – my other ones were no longer doing the trick! I understand, my friend.
Have a fabulous birthday!
Ah, Claudia, once again you have hit the nail on the head. I used to be considered quite the fashion plate even though I did not like to spend a lot of $ on clothes. Mostly I sewed my own items and loved to put things together that I thought looked good. Life took a huge turn and my very foundation was rocked. As I was adjusting to that I noticed that a lot of my neighbor women, like me, had started dying their hair. Indoors it looked just fine, outdoors was another story. So I stopped the hair coloring. I left it grow. I get it shaped every quarter, but it is now past my shoulders. I get a lot of positive comments, which is nice (but not necessary). My skin is super sensitive so makeup was not part of my life. But one thing I have started to do is make sure that no matter what I am doing or where I am going I will not be embarrassed if I run into someone. It makes me feel better about life, no matter if I am working on a project (which usually means I am going to get filthy in one way or another) or going in town to run errands. Honestly, this has made my life much easier. My wardrobe is from thrift stores and my sewing machine. Once again people are saying that they love my look and try to emulate it. Claudia, you are a beautiful woman. Where once we had youth as an accessory now we have experience and wisdom.
*disclaimer–I want to you know that this is an ongoing process with me. I do not always exude confidence and poise. Those are the days when I do not take care to put myself together and end up running into a frienemy at the market. pphthh!!!!
Love your egg cups!!! What a collection you have.
I’ve had that happen at the market, Teresa! I’ve been there. I try to look presentable when I go out, too. And sometimes I even put on makeup to go shopping. But only sometimes!
Claudia, this is a great post today. I think as we transition into another chapter in our lives our needs change so drastically. When I was reporting in court, I always dressed with suits, heels, make up, jewelry, the whole works; then I got hurt and had to give up wearing heels, retired and moved into a completely different kind of life and comfortableness. Mostly I wear jeans and tunics, still wear my jewelry, and always put on makeup to go out. My hair went silver years ago, and I’ve just started getting perms again as it is baby fine and I enjoy it much more now. I’m taking several paint classes at our Senior Center, and there’s about 40 women I’ve come in contact with, all over 50, the oldest one is 82, and she comes to class full makeup, jewelry. You’d think she’s 60 or even younger. Whether they wear makeup or not, some wear leggins, some wear jeans, some dresses, every one of these women are beautiful in their own right. I just try not to scare the children when I go out, that’s the important thing!
I sometimes think that women are even more beautiful without makeup – just as they are.
Hi Claudia, I have had these same thoughts especially since I had my 50th birthday last year. I decided to let my grey hair be grey and I like it. It is really short and easy to care for. I do wear make up but only when It suits me and I do leave the house without it often. I wear beautiful casual name brand clothes but they all are from thrift stores or garage sales. I see no reason to shop any other way. Joe sees me as Don sees you. Men like them are treasures. Hugs, Olive
Yes, they are, Olive!
well said, as always, claudia. i too have thought about my outward image. i can truly say i’m so very happy to be in pjs til i feel like it, to stay “fresh as a daisy” and bathe, keep my easy scrunch up hairdo, & for me, a little lippy lube, blush & i’m good for the go. now my dh isn’t as wonderful as don. he likes the painted up, powdered up type…but not the department store ticket that comes with that! i love the feeling when i attend something really special…a once a year dinner date to a grand restaurant, a wedding, perhaps a funeral :(….but all in all, so wonderfully freeing to be me, beautiful me. :) you rock, just the way your gorgeous hair, eyes & face are! oh, the egg cups are adorable. they would love my cow creamers, all 52 of them….my little collecting passion gone wild. hugs from texas!!
I’d love to see your cow creamers, Pam! I bet that is one fantastic looking collection.
Love your words: ‘so wonderfully freeing to be me, beautiful me.’ You ARE beautiful, my friend.
Thanks for an interesting read.
I receive your updates as an e-mail and when I saw your header and knowing how much you use photography on your blog i was beginning to think I might see photos of your naked self! Lot of laughs.
Thanks for sharing – good to air your thoughts about these sorts of things. If you are happy and hubby is happy why worry.
I would never subject you to a photo of me in the buff, Peggy!!! I KNOW I wouldn’t subject myself to one, either! xo
Lovely, thoughtful comments. And thought provoking post. For me, it is about what “others” expect of us. If we don’t wear makeup we can’t possibly be attractive to someone else – maybe not even friendly looking. I ponder this all the time – we teach young girls to wear make up and “present their best side” – we show them that clothes, makeup, hair color and even eye glasses will make them what they are expected to be. Whoa – wait a minute – expected to be – by whom? And why do they have the authority over us? Well, the answer is, by men, and by insecure women, and their plan is to enslave girls to their criteria in young life so their companies can make money. If they tell the young girls – and show them by ads and beauty contests, etc., that they MUST have makeup and all the rest, then companies will prosper. No matter the damage they do to young girls that might take a life time to overcome.
I’m a professional photographer – and while pretty young faces with makeup to make a fine photo – my best shots by far are always natural ones – even older women, with wrinkles and a crinkly smile are beautiful. My favorite portrait is of a great grandmother and her very young great-grandbaby – the contrast between old and young is absolutely stunning, and makes the woman all the more beautiful. Both are smiling and it is a heartwarming portrait. It shows real life – real people – not made up and plastered with artificiality – just people, living life, being who they are.
If we believe we have to have make up to look good – then they have won – they have told us that we are not sufficient or even worthwhile if we don’t appear according to their rules. They are saying that we need to improve ourselves to be likable – to be accepted – to even be looked at. Have you tried this? Look at someone you see on the street – especially someone with a sad or unhappy looking face – no makeup – just their face. Smile at them and watch the absolutely stunning transformation. I do it on purpose – and it makes me smile inside and outside. Sometimes we will be walking or driving down the street and I’ll giggle, and Don will say “are you making people smile again?” You bet I am – not only is a random smile good to give away – it is good to receive. Any face with a smile is beautiful.
A face with a smile is the most beauty that humans can achieve – and good thoughts inside will show on our faces. I do admit – sometimes I think that perhaps I would buy some make up and fancy myself up – but then I have the feeling that I am admitting inferiority if I do (this is a judgment ONLY on myself). I am not saying this is for everyone – and we all have our reasons as to why we do what we do – but for me – natural beauty is the real beauty – true to ourselves.
Happy day to all you beautiful women out there – here’s a smile for you!!!! Thank you – I loved your smiling back at me.
JoAnn, you blew me away with this comment. Bravo! Thank you for your thought provoking response. It’s made me think and re-think and that, my friend, is a good thing. I agree. Some of the most beautiful photos I have seen are of ‘older’ women, wrinkles and all. And I also agree that a smile is transformational. xo
I think the term ‘letting go’ has negative connotations, like letting the house go. (i.e., to rack and ruin!) I think what you’ve done and are feeling is an acceptance of what your body is now, at this particular stage in life, and you are embracing it. Embracing change is a sign of wisdom and flexibility, and this includes having your perception of self, and your definition of beauty, morph over time into something more pure and basic and natural and less adorned, letting the person shine through. Speaking of adornment, jewelry is a personal choice that I think really has more to do with whether you’re required to be “out” in the world rather than with how old you are. Even when I was much youger, I tended not to wear earrings or bracelets if I was staying home. I did (and still do) occasionally wear a necklace in the house, and I have always loved wearing rings. Just my two pennies! (And I love that pig, too!)
I like what you’ve said, Haworth – ‘letting the person shine through.’
My mother and I were talking about people who resort to surgery (especially on their faces) and she told me, “I’ve earned this face! No one is going to change it.” And reading back over your post again, think you could say that we earn our entire SELF… body, personality, face, hair. it’s all just a reflection (a RESULT) of all we’ve experienced. And in embracing how you are now, you’re embracing all you’ve been through, where you’ve been, and everything that’s every happened to you. That’s a terrific way to be, in my book!! Brava! xx
xo
Such a good post and such good comments! What a subject!
Do you know that wonderful blog the man does of photographs and interviews with ultra stylish older women in NY? Senior moment on the name of the blog but I love it. I want to be those women when I grow up, the only trouble is I am grown up and most of the time it takes too much effort. I’ll put that effort out for a wedding or church but it takes so much time now with so little in return. I keep meaning to do it more but there are so many other important things I want to do with my time. Secretly though, I admire those NY dames so much. They fascinate me. Even when they’re ugly they’re stunning. Maybe someday when I don’t have anything else to do I’ll try again.
I don’t know that blog, Dewena. But if you can think of the name, I’d sure love to visit it. I absolutely know what you mean by NY Dames!
xo
I found it, Claudia. It’s called Advanced Style (blogspot address). It is fascinating. He does a great job.
I think as we grow in maturity, we grow in perspective. I too have let go of many things I would never have dreamed of discarding. Full makeup daily, rings on most fingers, earrings in place, etc. Now it is a clean face, mascara so that you can see that I have lashes, a bit of blush so that if I am napping, the undertaker does not swoop me up and job-at-hand appropriate clothes. So lovely to be able to see the forest and the trees! I am happily busier than ever with things which are truly imporant to me and heavily blessed. 65 is not bad at all! I read somewhere that round is a shape too! Love that!
God bless you and Don, Claudia. Give Scout a good belly rub for me.
Love that – “Round is a shape, too!” xo
I used to be fussy too Claudia..full make-up all the time..(my friend used to say I was the only person she knew that put on make-up to scrub the toilet) earrings to match every outfit..the make-up is gone except for a little light powder for special occasions..I think the full make-up just accentuates the lines and makes me look older..I mostly wear earrings that match most anythings so I don’t have to change them every day..I still color away the gray hair although I am starting to slack at doing that too..I think your gray hair is very pretty..It just feels more natural and comfortable to not have to do all of those fussy things..to just relax and be myself to the world if you know what I mean..I happen to think you are a very lovely lady..inside and out..and if Don says you are more beautiful than ever..what more do you need my dear..By the number of comments you received you are certainly not alone with these thoughts..The little piggy waiting to be served his egg is adorable!
I think we’ve all earned the right to relax and be ourselves to the world, Nancy. Nicely put!
I think when we get to our age, Claudia we just feel more comfortable in our own skin. I do wear makeup most of the time when I go out, but it is for me. I no longer feel the need to impress anyone. I am happy that I no longer feel the need to compete with other women. very liberating.
Hugs,
Laura
Very liberating, indeed, Laura.
I dress now to suit myself (have done for some time) which is nearly always slacks or jeans and a nice shirt when going out. Here in Australia we need to be mindful of harmful UV damage to our skin so a moisturizer with 30+ sunblock is a necessity, sometimes some lippy or a dusting of face powder. I nearly always wear some cologne or perfume and a pair of gold earrings as my husband likes me to wear them. I use to only wear perfume and jewellery for special occasions but a serious health scare a few years ago made me reevaluate my life and I have decided to enjoy the things I have, even if that is wearing some jewellery every day. These items have been usually gifts from my dear husband and family anyway and they enjoy seeing their gifts been enjoyed.
My hair is very long so a simple bun is the daily thing, I realize I will not have the body I had at 18 but been healthy and happy within and my family are more important than the latest fashions.
It’s all about doing what makes you happy, Susie. I so agree.
Hello Claudia,
I’ve been reading everyone’s comments and it’s good to know that there are many of us that share the same feelings about becoming mature women. I’m approaching 64 and although on the inside I still feel the same as I did at 40, the outside tells a different story. But, I’m okay with it. Of course there are days when I wonder if a face lift, botox or some other facial treatment or body treatment would make me feel better, but then I realize that I’m who I am and I’m accepting it more and more everyday.
I still put on make up everyday because it makes me feel better. I wear very casual clothes and very little jewelry.
Seems as though whenever I wear a necklace, which is very rare, it usually ends up inside my purse. Like you, I’m just not comfortable wearing them. I’ve accepted me for me and occassionally have a pity party that I’m not the thin, beautiful young girl that I once was but that’s just part of growing older.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings and for keeping it real. Your honestly is so charming and refreshing.
hugs and I hope you have a wonderful weekend. You are a very beautiful woman.
Sissie
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Sissie. I struggle sometimes with accepting myself as I am today. Let’s face it, I’d love to look like I did when I was in my thirties! But I don’t and I have to accept it with grace and, hopefully, a bit of style.
I am 50 now and like most women, am heavier than I was in my younger days – by about 20 lbs. I blame that on 2 pregnancies, 2 abdominal surgeries, aging, and hormones. Though I know I need to exercise more. As for makeup and hair – I think gray hair is aging – but I have to say, yours is very pretty because it’s a silver-gray. I’m a strawberry-blonde and trust me – gray is not pretty on me. My (young) hairdresser says she’ll keep me looking young. ;-) As for makeup, I never go without, even when I’m home. But I keep it minimal – tinted moisturizer, a little blush, lip gloss, and mascara. And I always wear a pair of earrings, even if it’s just simple pearls. I’m sure having a bare face is freeing, and it’s a personal choice, but I also think it’s important to not “let yourself go” as you age, too. When you take the time to keep yourself and your hair clean (and brushed!), wear a little makeup, and a favorite pair of earrings, you feel better about yourself. And when you feel better about yourself, you project that attitude.
I don’t have a lot of money for a lot of clothes either, but I do get a lot of my clothes from Goodwill. Try shopping at one in a more affluent area – you’d be surprised what you can find! Most of my shirts are designer and high-end name-brand.
The thing I’m realizing, Melanie, is that I feel good about myself whether I’m made up or not. Obviously, I like the way I look with makeup, but I also like the way I look without it. Don and I had a great talk about all of this today and it’s interesting talking about the differences between men and women. Men have never been told to wear makeup or been defined by that. So when we talk about it, Don says it makes absolute sense that women should, of course, do what makes them feel good, makeup or no makeup, but on the other hand, who the heck said that women had to wear makeup? Then we got into a discussion about animals and color and mating signals and that adorning oneself when we are young is instinctual as we are programmed for procreation,
Anyway, I’m going on too long, but it led to a fascinating discussion and I loved getting the male point of view.
Getting older has been such a freeing experience; you become nearly invisible to others so you can be as outrageous or subdued as you want. I love my “uniform” of jeans, cord or chinos with either a turtleneck in winter or a T-shirt in summer. I do have a few necklaces and many, many scarves that I love, but had to let my pierced ears close up due to allergies.
Many years ago a character on a TV show said when she was old she wanted to embarrass her children and delight her grandchildren. I love that!
Love this, Sondra. Don and I talked about this today – I tried to explain that as women get older they become invisible and that at first, that can be disconcerting, but on the other hand – I love your take on it. We can do whatever we want to do!
Great post! Although I’m a little concerned that I’m only 26 and related already with much of what you said :) I hardly ever wear jewelry, and I also have to remind myself to wear earrings so the holes don’t close up :) I do however love to shop for clothes! Every once in a while I go through a phase when I say to myself “I should try to spruce things up a bit with some jewelry and eyeliner” and then it lasts a couple days and I’m back to being “me” for another 6 months :) haha, not sure if it’s good or bad…
Sounds like you struggle with the same thing, Kristina!
I agree that as we age we can become lazy and not take care of our outward appearance, but way too much emphasis is placed on how we look.
I totally agree, Dayle.
Hi Claudia. I feel same as you, exactly. And my husband loves me more each day, I know. Remember, the guys are aging too! And I love Dan more each day just the same. It’s tough getting older. This year has been very difficult for me in the aging department. I struggle with accepting my weight knowing I can do better. My blog has really helped me focus on other things that make me happy. I’m glad you shared this. I love reading your thoughts. You are a beautiful person.
Thank you, Patty. I struggle with the same things. I don’t like weighing more than I used to. I don’t like my sagging jowl line or any of those things that happen to us as we get older. But, I would never do the plastic surgery or botox thing, that’s a whole other post. It’s all about being happy in our own skin.
Ao ler este post imaginei que eu mesma poderia te-lo escrito (se tivesse o dom de escrever tão bem). É o meu retrato. Eu ainda pinto meu cabelo, mas não tão frequentemente. Uso maquiagem apenas em ocasiões especiais e minhas orelhas hoje nem tem mais furo… À vezes, sinto falta de me adornar um pouco, só às vezes… Abraços, Claudia!
Abracos, Zilda!
Another commenter already touched on this, but there are different attitudes in different locations of the country. Here, in Alabama, you had better have your “face” on in public. I just got home from a quick trip to see a woman in her late 80’s – her husband had just come home from the hospital – major stress. But she came to the door in full make-up, jewelry, and beautiful, big, blonde (wig) hair!!! She was precious! But hey . . . I can see your point about simplifying.
Do what makes you happy, because happiness equals loveliness inside and out!
Having never lived in the south, I haven’t seen this first hand, but I’ve certainly heard about it from my southern friends. I suppose it’s all what you’re used to! You’re right, Hope, it’s all about what makes you happy.
Due to a recent torn shoulder rotator cuff, I can not put on or take off a bra. Talk about freeing!!! LOL. I no longer care! Up until now, I would have been mortified to be in public without my underwire support. (I am age 49)
I try to be modest and alternate the two tank tops I own that have built-in shelf bras worn under a blouse or loose top.
I have recently changed my diet and am seeing a dietician which I need in order to be accountable. Insurance covers this due to some health issues. Losing the first 16 lbs has inspired me to wear light make up and dress in smaller pants–I have only 4 pairs that won’t fall off. I feel happier. I went about 7 years where Blistex lip balm was my only cosmetic.
I believe we women go through cycles of what feels comfortable. I think we should just listen to our own selves and not let anything or anyone tell us how we should look.
Your Don is a sweetheart. You are lovely as you are, inside and out.
I think you are absolutely right, Andrea. Listen to our heart and our body and do what feels right. xo