I want to take a moment to apologize. Not for my posts about this election – I stand by them – but for my response to some of the commenters. This election has made me angry in a deeply despairing part of my heart. You know how I feel, so I don’t have to re-state it here. But I am angry and afraid and that, I fear, had an effect on a few of my replies. Instead of responding as I usually do, I lost some of the grace that I hope normally infuses this blog and my writing. I got defensive. That is never a good place to come from when responding to someone.
I am someone who will fight for what I believe is right and speak out. In this particular election year, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t speak out. But I’m also someone who is a ‘people pleaser’ (both Don and I suffer from that syndrome) and am conflict-averse. How do I balance all of that? Sometimes gracefully, sometimes not.
I went back into the comments last evening and edited some of those replies. You as readers certainly have a right to disagree; we’ve had many lively discussions on this blog during the past 8½ years. (I hope you receive updated comment replies in your email? I’m not sure if you do.) I’ve always kept comments open and have replied to each and every one of them. I’m proud of that, especially considering there are many bloggers who don’t reply and/or don’t allow comments – particularly on a post that might be controversial.
If I turned off comments for a certain post, readers would be upset. If I, as I did only once in the history of this blog, say that I don’t want to read any negative comments on that particular day (which certainly is my right) then some readers get upset about that. I can’t please everyone, nor will I try. But I certainly can make amends for a less than graceful response.
I’m sorry if I hurt anyone’s feelings or appeared uncaring. I can assure you, I am not. Don knows these things stay with me and bother me for days, and sure enough, I was awake before 5 am this morning…worrying. He always offers wise counsel, my husband. I don’t know what I’d do without him.
I’ve said what I have to say about that man who is running for President. I don’t think I need to say more.
I’m moving on.
Look who I found on the picnic table yesterday.
This is a White Hickory Tussock Moth Caterpillar. There have been quite a few rumors floating around that these guys are poisonous. They’re not, but touching them can cause a physical reaction. Most everyone who touches them gets a rash that itches and stings. Others experience a more severe reaction and have to see a doctor. The hairs are connected to poison glands (according to Snopes, who debunked the more extreme claims about this caterpillar) and release a venom when touched.
Of course, I knew nothing about this until I researched it. Luckily, I didn’t touch him, just the leaf behind him.
They like nut trees and we have a young shag hickory on the property, as well as a couple of black walnut trees.
I wonder if he’s still out there this morning?
Oh goodness, it got very cold overnight and we had a frost warning. I was, of course, worried about the plants that are still blooming. When I woke up, I saw that the water in the birdbath had frozen and immediately looked at the morning glory and moonflower vines. They seem to be okay, which is a relief, especially since it isn’t going to remain this cold.
We took a long trail walk yesterday. There are two horses along the way that belong to a man who lives along the rail trail. Don called him the other day to ask if it was okay for us to feed them an apple and some carrots when we see them. Yes, he said.
This is Ashley. She’s the elder of the two. Pliers, the other horse, is her son.
This is Pliers. I fed Ashley yesterday and Don fed Pliers.
They need a good grooming, but it’s not our place to do that.
When I was a kid, my grandfather had horses. I’ve always loved them, though I would never claim to be an equestrian or a horsewoman. There are a couple of other horses along the trail, as well, but they are usually so far back in their paddock that we can only see them from a distance. There are also locals who ride their horses on the trail and we love seeing them. Such beauties they are!
Sob. My Red Sox were swept by the Cleveland Indians.
But we’re also cheering for the Cubs. Come on Cubs!
Happy Tuesday.
Here I am the first one commenting again. Shows I don’t have anything else to do. (Not true) LOL. My husband and I were talking about the election yesterday. One of the things that one of us said is that the strong feelings that are expressed concerning who should be president shows how much we care about our country. There was something I heard this morning that makes me sad is that friendships are lost over this election. Even though we may differ on some things. I still consider you a friend. Today is the first day I had to turn the heat on. The trees along the trail must be beautiful from what I can see in the pictures. New England fall. There is nothing like it. IMHO.
Ah, thank you, Trina! I consider you a friend, too.
A New England Fall is simply spectacular. I’ll keep taking picture as more and more trees change.
Your blog….your voice. No need to apologize, readers can move on.
If your list of things that someone has clearly said and/or has done does not make one think twice or even look into these things on their own, I am not sure anything will.
I know. That’s what makes me despair for our country. Thanks, Tisha.
Pretty little caterpillar…is there such a thing? And I wonder what was going on when they named the horse Pliers! Reminds me of my sister’s cats, when she was very young—Shoofull and Phobia.
I don’t know – I’ve tried to figure that one out – Pliers? Ah, well!
There was quite the reaction here to the comments about our healthcare system. The consensus was that perhaps certain candidates should do their homework before criticizing. Where is the dignity and graciousness we associate with American leaders? Watching the second debate was like watching a political Jerry Springer show.
Love the horses! Nothing beats a trail ride in the autumn sunshine.
That was such an ignorant and ill-informed comment from that candidate. I was angry and I don’t live in Canada. The truth is, I admire Canada for such much they do, not the least of which is your healthcare system.
It was like a Jerry Springer show. Springer, by the way, supports Hillary.
Thank you, Barbara.
I actually think Jerry Springer is someone I could have a good discussion with as he has an fascinating family history. It’s his show I can’t abide.
Sorry, but “Go Jays”!
The Jays are doing well, Barbara!
I would love to walk on a pretty trail like you have and see the horses. It might encourage me to keep walking daily! I think bloggers know how to debate better and try to fix the world problems better than all the politicians together. If they would only listen to us!
I hear this! I have nowhere good to walk either. There’s a nicer neighborhood on the other side of town but a lot of people go there to walk and the homeowners are complaining now to the City Council about walkers parking their cars there which I think is SO snooty because it’s not like they’re walking hours and hours on those residential streets. So, yes, Claudia, breathe in that sumptuous countryside and continue to keep your eyes wide open to the wonder of your trail walk. We often talk of artist/writer Susan Branch here and, you know, she has that nice beach path thru the woods every morning. I can’t imagine such fun and how uplifting it must be, which renews my vow to try to find SOMEwhere I can walk that gives me something to see except weedy lots, odd industrial businesses, half-empty strip malls, fast-food restaurants and factories. Swimming is another thing I need to be doing, but we don’t even have a public pool or a gym with one, so it’s about to the point to where every day I need to drive to a neighboring town to just do normal things, which is another nudge to self that….we need to MOVE! Like in relocate-move. Not every town in Southern California is Hollywood or Beverly Hills or Malibu and it still costs a fortune to live here. And we don’t have four seasons…not really! I will paste a smile on my face and put on my trainers, though; glad I have two feet I can walk anywhere with, even if it’s around my unscenic block!
It’s hard when you live far from a good place to walk. We cannot walk on our road because it’s a country road with way too much traffic and no shoulder. But this little drive to the trail walk – about 3 minutes away – is a godsend!
Seeing horses definitely helps, Doris!
Yes, let’s let bloggers make the decisions! Thank you.
I just love the photos of the horses so much! And you’ve captured them in beautiful light again.
I meant to say yesterday how gorgeous the autumn glow is on your new table. Burnished. Lovely.
Oh gosh do I long for a real ‘Fall’ soon here in Southern California. Every day, we still reach 90, thereabouts. But sometimes the first week in November can surprise us with chill. So, we’ll see.
Claudia, for the record, you’ve never said anything that offended me on anything and although I’ve never met you, I consider you a fine person. I love your blog and I love your readers.
We had frost last night and now that I’ve investigated the vines, the leaves are wilted. That makes me think they are goners – I hope not, but I’m definitely worried!
Thank you for your supportive words, Vicki. I sure needed them today.
Did you happen to catch today’s piece from the Hollywood Reporter (Kate Stanhope) and Tapes Or No Tapes (life onset ‘The Apprentice’); quite revealing but sadly no surprise.
No, I didn’t see it. I’ll have to find it on the web.
I adore your blog. I look forward to it every day. I may not agree with everything you say, but as you once said, I move on and look forward to your next post. I have a deep respect for you. Your unnecessary apology for responses to comments on YOUR blog just validates my respect for you.
I love the horses…you are so lucky to have that trail to walk!
You brought tears to my eyes, Valerie. Thank you.
LOL, I hardly disagree with you, Claudia, but I’m cheering for the Giants, my home team!
We’ve cheered for the Giants a few times in the past. But they’ve won frequently lately – deservedly so – so we’re cheering for the Cubs who are way past due! xoxo
I can’t help but stay loyal to my Giants, but if the Giants lose, my cheering will transfer to the Cubs. This year’s Cubs team really has the best chances in years to go all the way.
They do! (Side note: I missing seeing Tim Lincecum pitch for the Giants!)
We all miss Lincecum. Ironically, the body mechanics of his pitching style gave him success and ultimately was his doom.
It’s so sad. I hope he can come back. I know it’s been a tough year for him.
I think in retrospect it may not have been your opinion but your response to some readers that might have seemed insensitive to some. Not by me, but there you go. I think the problem with politics as well as religion is some take offense and do not realize it is a discussion . Some people can not see both sides and when in this case there is a lot at stake we all become very passionate. My husband (retired firefighter) said the rule at the station house was NO talking about religion or politics. Good rule I can never seem to follow it at home but that is me ( and I am always right, another problem). That being said, you keep saying what you feel. I will keep reading. I am reminded of a little saying. ” I would love to agree with you but then we would both be wrong”! I have not seen a caterpillar in years, so sweet.
We’ve never seen an election like this one, with both sides so completely polarized. I guess I’m seeing it here on the blog, as well.
Thank goodness Don and I are on the same page and we can discuss all this freely! Thanks so much, Mary.
Claudia, you are one classy lady!
Ah, thank you, Carolyn Marie.
Claudia,
It is happening to us all. “When they go low we go high” I loved when First Lady Michelle Obama said it and then I got sucked into the orange man’s vortex of fear and hate. Fear is contagious and like you I love my country and all of the progressive changes I’ve witnessed in the pass decades and it is scary to think that we could go backwards. But no more, yesterday I deleted my Facebook App, I am no longer discussing the election with anyone but my husband, I am determined to have faith that once again Americans will choose correctly and America will continue to move forward. Hang in there Claudia it is almost over.
It’s hard to resist pouring over the news, which I seem to do constantly, but I’m trying to really pull back. I’m not sleeping well! Thanks so much, Christine.
Thanks for cheering for the Cubs. They have been my favorite team all my life and it would make this Chicago girl so very happy to see them win! And by the way, I rode competitively for years. I spent so much time on the back of the horse or in the stable that I smelled like a stable. I have been prodding Ralph Lauren (designer of all things equestrian) to produce a cologne that smelled like a tack room. I would be the first in line for it ;-)
Big Texas Hugs,
Susan and Bentley
I’d love for them to win, Susan. It’s more than time!
Go Cubs, Go!!! Growing up in Chicago, I think of my parents and my grandparents, aunts, uncles, who have all passed ~ and ALL the Cubs games we watched on TV or listened to on the radio over the years. I think there are some full grandstands in the Great Beyond with many many cheering fans!!
I had stomach issues all day yesterday. I felt horrid. I couldn’t sleep on Sunday night. I truly believe it goes back to an entire weekend of the garbage we had to listen to over and over and over. Today it is strictly music, and I can feel my entire being un-clenching. My soul needs a cleansing.
I know. I told Don that I’m not sleeping well, I’m upset all the time, I’m worried – and it’s all due (or at least most of it) to this horrid election. Trail walk later and a good book. And hopefully some peace will return! Thanks, Chris.
Such a beautiful caterpillar….hard to believe he would be harmful. But, I know that’s true of a lot of creatures. (You are free to take that anyway you want!) Hubby and I are about to take a drive in the country to go in search of autumn color. It’s turned out to be a beautiful fall day! ;)
A wolf in sheep’s clothing?
Enjoy your drive. It’s absolutely gorgeous here as well and the colors are really beautiful. Thanks, Donnamae.
Claudia, you have no reason in the world to apologise. Under the circumstances I thought your responses were quite restrained. I can’t believe that anyone can even consider him as your next President. May the Fates protect us all. Blessings
Thank you, Lesley. I just don’t want to ‘go low’ – I want to ‘go high’ as said by Michelle Obama.
Thank you so much.
I’ve been reading your blog for about a year and really enjoy the diversity of it. I also appreciate others views. Keep it up Claudia! Thanks
Thank you, Chris. I’m glad you’re here!
How can someone express her own views, fight for things she’s passionate about, and STILL manage to make everyone happy? Short answer – you can’t. Don’t even try. It’s just a waste of good energy. We females are so trained to try and please EVERYONE [just where does that come from anyway?] Men don’t get try to make everyone happy when they express their views. And men rarely if ever are “offended” by views with which they don’t agree. They just accept it and move on. The mature ones do at least anyway. Maybe we women need to take a page from their books on this particular issue. Anyway, keep writing as YOU feel and let the chips fall where they may. PS – maybe friendships that can be irreparably-damaged by something as goofy as a mentally-ill 6-foot butternut squash with feet weren’t the strongest friendships to begin with? 😀
You’re absolutely right. I can’t. I’ll keep speaking out, of course. Thank you, Janet.
I applaud your honesty and remaining true to your beliefs!! As I have always said to my own children, “you keep on keeping on, and phooey on those who disagree with you”. Simple advice, but it works :-)
Thank you so much, Jeannine.
It is your blog. Do as you like. I just thank heavens that it will be over soon. Also we should consider making campaigns shorter. And it would not hurt to make some rules about civility between candidates.
I think the campaigns should be much, much shorter, Jane. Six weeks. Thank you.
I thought you did very well handling the negative comments “taking the high road” far better than I could…….but I completely understand your distress and not wanting to get in this cesspool that exists……..this election has not been about honest, intelligent discussion of important issues ……instead we have been exposed to the orange man’s colossal arrogant ignorance that uses ugly cruelty in place of positive solutions…….how can one not be upset when so many embrace the lies about Hillary but ignore ALL the truths about Trump’s past and present behavior and actions?……As I said before, people don’t mind being lied to as long as they like the lies, sad, sad …..so very wonderful you have the trail and the lovely autumn views to balance things off………. enjoying nature is a true balm and the best help for our well being………sending best wishes along with my genuine respect….Dianne
Thank you so much, Dianne.
I appreciate very much that you answer comments, Claudia. It makes me, as a daily reader of your blog, feel valued. A lot of other blogs that I have read where the blogger doesn’t even acknowledge the comments made, well, that bothers me and I then quit visiting that blog. And you are always kind in your responses, in my opinion. It is your blog and certainly you should express your opinion!
I think we will all feel better when this election is over with and the orange man goes away. Forever. :-)
Oh, I will throw some sort of celebration that day – even if it lives on the blog in cyberspace! Thank you, Lily.
I agree with your readers…no need to apologize. Fortunately my husband and I see eye to eye on this year’s political happenings and discuss/vent at home. My co-workers (all females) are 40% Trump and 60% Hillary and I’m trying very hard to not mention anything at work, biting my tongue at times.
It’s hard to bite one’s tongue, isn’t it? When I see Trump/Pence signs in my neck of the woods, I sometimes make a gesture from within the safe confines of my car…I’ll leave the rest to your imagination! Thanks, Jen.
Good idea to let it go. You aren’t going to change anyone’s mind at this point. The so called undecided have probably decided.
I do wish I was as elequant as you so I could respond to some of the crazy things I see posted by good people who I love.
I don’t plan on doing any more posts, but with any breaking news, I may have a comment or two along the way. Thanks, Kay.
I have stayed quiet but cannot after reading this. You, dear Claudia, have every right to say whatever you feel on YOUR blog. You speak with such knowledge and feeling that to apologize is unnecessary. Your truth and real feelings are what keeps me coming back here every day to see whats new with you and what you have to say. I agree with you and fear for this country if he is elected but even if I didn’t I would respect your right to say what you feel. No apologies necessary. Keep being you Claudia it is why we come here
Thank you so much, Sue. That means a great deal to me!
Your horse photos brought back so many memories, Claudia. When we moved to the town I grew up in (back in 1960), our backyard abutted a small farm. They had a variety of animals and I loved them all, but it was the horses I was most drawn to. There was a small stone wall and a somewhat non-utilitarian wire fence between our yard and the pasture. I would often feed the horses apples. Then a few years later, when I was maybe 11 or 12, my parents scrimped so I could have riding lessons one year. I don’t think I fully appreciated the strain on finances back then. That was in the days when my dad worked and my mom stayed home, and there wasn’t a lot of money back then. Anyhow, seeing your photos gave me warm, fuzzy memories about horses, and feelings of gratitude for the wonderful parents I had. Thanks for sharing!
What a lovely thing for your parents to do for you, Donna. Thanks for sharing that story! xo
I like you because you are sensitive Claudia and it takes courage to speak your truth when you have a sensitive nature. I applaude you for that and believe that your voice and voices such as yours need to be heard in this fear driven, mysoginistic world. I am now 68 and am only just beginning to speak my truth whilst trying to remain sensitive to others feelings but I am conscious of the world my children and grandchildren will inherit and I won’t compromise on that.
Exactly. We cannot compromise. Thank you, Valerie.
Just one more “political” comment…I am responding to your feelings about some of your responses and I can’t help but think that the political climate for the past several years has made all of us lose our cool more easily than we used to. The anger, insults, and base behavior displayed and magnified by media reports seeps into us. It’s insidious. We’re all more easily impressed than we realize. For me, that is by far the worst thing about this election–it’s bringing our behavior down to a level that scares me. Even-minded and gentle souls like yours are riled up. Can you imagine what it ignites in people who are judgmental and angry to begin with? Frightens me!! I admire you for reconsidering and reclaiming the better you (which we all know and love).
We are all riled up, Nora. Everywhere I turn, I see it – online and offline. There’s never been anything like it. Today is our anniversary and I’m going to celebrate love, not hate. Thank you.