On a road in our town – a populated, well-traveled country road – there is a house. At first glance, you barely see it. It hides behind a tangle of overgrown vines, trees and bushes. Then you realize what you’re really seeing. Amidst the yard strewn with debris, old dog houses, stuff – there is a house.
The porch is barely standing and is littered with old windows and doors.
You think: it must be abandoned. Yes, it had to be abandoned years ago and all of this overgrowth is a result of no one tending to it. No one loving it.
It was a big country home at one time. What happened?
There is a van in the front yard. The hatch is open in the back, as if someone is in the process of unloading groceries. It’s been that way – open – as long as I’ve lived here. Like something out of a movie where a town is suddenly abandoned, where time has stopped.
When I first moved here, I saw this place as I drove to our recycling center. I wondered about it, all the time assuming no one lived there. Then one day I saw her. She was walking around the side yard. A woman of indeterminate age – maybe in her 50’s…60’s? She had short hair, brownish in color. My first thought was that she must be someone trying to clean up the place. Maybe it was left to her?
My sightings of her were rare, but it didn’t take long before I realized that she lives there. This is her home. She’s not visiting. I can only imagine what it must be like inside. I think about it and stop myself. It’s best left unexamined.
My husband has never seen her. Every time we drive by he asks me if I really saw her. Yes. Several times.
Who is she? I don’t know. My friend tells me she’s lived there for years. Neighbors have offered to help, to clean up the yard. She wants none of it.
What is her story? How does she survive? Does she have electricity? Heat? I don’t see how any oil delivery truck could get close to the house.
Clearly something is wrong. Does she have anyone to reach out, to care for her? Any family?
Every time I drive by, I ask these questions. What is her life like?
When I returned from San Diego in July, the front of the house was more overgrown than I had ever seen it. It was as if the house had been swallowed up by a jungle. Then, one day, I saw that someone had cleared out a portion of the overgrowth – just enough to park a car.
There is so much mystery about this woman. Has she slipped through the cracks and become someone unreachable? I don’t even know her name.
I am reminded that she could be any one of us. There is a part of me that is solitary, almost hermit-like. If mental illness struck and I was alone…what would be my story? Would I cling to my home, while it slowly deteriorated?
Is there a house like this in every town? It evokes the memory of Boo Radley’s house in To Kill a Mockingbird. And I am reminded, once again, of what Atticus Finch says: that we never truly know what a person’s life is like until we walk around in their shoes.
OMGosh Claudia! You’ve got me tears. My heart just breaks for the lonely woman in the mysterious house. Do keep us posted if you learn any more about her.
Hi Claudia…what a neat post! I think every town has at least one of these homes, I know we do!
When I see them my thinking goes a different way sorta…I tend to think, what a superior happiness that must be…to be so content with living that what others see & think has no meaning in their lives. Call me an optimist but I would like to live that way someday:) You should bring her some homemade bread and write her story!
hugs, paula:)
Hi Claudia,What a story! I don’t think i’ve seen any homes like that in years!!I would be kind of scared to knock on the door.It seems like she doesn’t want anyone around.It’s sad. It looks like she’s living in the past.
Kathy
hi claudia,
have you seen the movie grey gardens?!
~janet
What a great post today Claudia! We have many homes like this in our town. I wonder if you were to get in touch with an organization like Habitat for Humanity or a church youth group, if they could reach out to her. Sometimes people like this are more apt to respond to an organization more than an individual because they see the individual as wanting the “mess” cleaned up for their personal reasons and the person in need becomes defensive. I know my girls have helped clean up several houses like this through their Youth Group and Habitat, where the person had previously refused help. This woman is probably so cut off from the world that she doesn’t have a TV or newspaper to even know that these organizations are out there to help her. It’s worth a try. I hope that some time in the future you will be able to give us an update, wouldn’t it make a great Thanksgiving post.
Claudia, this is one of those sweet yet sad stories, how intriguing! I wonder what her story is….you will have to let us know what you find out….hmmmm. Town hall records or the library…..so interesting and yet your heart goes out to her.
Do find out if you can!
Hugs,
Margaret B
Grey Gardens is the first thing that I thought of too. The original movie with the real people gives some insight into the minds of people that live like this. Your post was beautiful. Are you thinking of trying to approach her? It would be interesting to hear her story.
Claudia, your heart shines through in this post. While some people would point and criticize, you go the extra mile to stretch and try to understand. You are a rare and special person, but I’ve always known that about you. That’s one reason I appreciate you son much.
I have known a lot of eccentrics over the years. A very close friend has pretty much lost control of her house and suffers from a neurotic disorder. Periodically, in the past, she would allow people (including me) to help her, but as she has aged, the situation has grown worse. I adore her, and I try not to judge. I also had a neighbor whose house wasn’t quite in that condition, but close.
I can’t imagine what would drive a person to want to be completely alone (though I love my solitude), but I agree that given the right push, it might not be so far-fetched for a person to end up in a similar spot.
I think if anyone could approach her, you could because you have such a kind and caring heart and would never tread on her sense of privacy. Just be prepared to accept her as she is because it is probably not too likely that she would change at this point in time. My friend being a case in point. And in my friend’s youth, she was stunningly beautiful and from a lovely family.
XO,
Sheila
Grey Gardens was the first thing that popped into my mind as well, but there were two people in that who at least had each other.
Everyone has a story and I am willing to bet that this woman’s is truly fascinating, if not heartbreaking. Perhaps she just needs to talk to someone who isn’t interested in trying to clean up her yard, but who is interested in her as a person.
You have a kind heart, Claudia.
Ann
Oh, yes… I’m thinking of Grey Gardens and would LOVE to know the true story behind this woman and the property… Maybe she just doesn’t like people or society… perhaps something very sad happened that drove her to live this way. It’s a wonder the county doesn’t declare her home unsafe to live in… I’ll stay tuned and hopefully you will have more news about her at some point. Go snooping around and see what you can find out… hee hee.
Di
I thought at first this was going to be a spooky Halloween story about an abandoned house (the van with the always-open door being just another scary part of the story) until you said someone lives there…
I can’t help but wonder too if this home is safe? Perhaps the resident has no other options or family or resources. Someone in your town must know the story — looks like it took many, many years for the house to reach that condition.
Claudia….That was a great post! We all see things like this in our lives and it does make you ask questions in your own mind. Like you said sometimes it is best left unexamined, and yet part of us wants to reach out and help. So true of not knowing what another person’s life is like unless we have walked in their shoes. ~Hugs, Patti
WOW! THIS IS A GREAT POST, YOU KNOW JUST HOW TO WRITE IT TOO.
YOU ARE A VERY CARING PERSON, YOU PUT SO MANY THINGS FIRST BEFORE YOURSELF. THAT IS WHAT MAKES YOU CLAUDIA, A VERY SPECIAL PERSON. HAVE A NICE DAY. RIZZI
some days I think this is what will happen to me. My husband is much older than I am, I have no children and I tend to be reclusive. Perhaps she has been by herself for so long and things have gone downhill- now she is scared what will happen if she lets someone in. Life can be so scary sometimes and I think the longer you are alone the more intimidating it must all seem. I hope someone loves her. I think it is sweet that you keep an eye on her and look for her when you pass by.
One never knows. If I took photos of the full exterior of our old house a somewhat similar post could be written about us except we do cut our grass often. People think no one lives in our house. It does keep visitors away. We have invested in our second home which does appear on the blog. ♥O
I can be a very solitary person too. It’s hard to know what is her mind set. Is she heartbroken, beaten up by life’s hardships? Is she ill? Has she been abandoned by her family ~ if there is any family to care about. You could access county records to learn about the owner of the property, then you would have a name. Then of course, does she want an offer of friendship? Would you be invading her space by offering a hand? Maybe for Thanksgiving you could leave a basket filled with some goodies on her porch and a note extending your friendship.
I admire you for your loving heart!!
Lots of love,
Susan and Bentley
xxoo
how strange…almost spooky.
it reminds me of a lady who lived in my neighborhood. i thought the house was abandoned too…and then one day i saw her…she was in a robe…and she was stuck…i could see she was trying to get back up her steps to the front door. i will never forget it..it was Thanksgiving eve. i pulled into the driveway and got her back into her house..and to make matters even worse she had some kittys…and they were skinny and hungry. i was just about hysterical at this point…i asked her if anyone ever came by..she said no. i got back in my car and went home and came right back with cat food and a sandwhich and some cans of soup for her which i opened and put in the frdge. i got her some help from a meals on wheels group…but i never saw her in the driveway again…i went and knocked on her door a couple of times, but no answer. i always wondered what happened to her.
The sad thing is that if anything ever happened to her – if she needed help – how would anyone know? Yet she must want it that way, though most likely she’s not really “well.” It would be interesting to know more about her. Down here in South Florida, older women often become unable to care for themselves, and eventually what happens is that well-meaning grown children from up north come and swoop them up, put their homes up for sale, and deposit them in nursing homes where they don’t last very long. It’s sad either way. But you’ve definitely got a mystery there.
You are so insightful! This mystery is one that will probably never be answered. This lady is lucky to have someone who cares about her even if she doesn’t know it. Perhaps one day you will be able to reach out to her in some way.
Thanks for your kind and compassionate words to me on my last couple of posts.
This was a beautiful post. I miss you, my friend.
What a beautiful and thought-provoking post, Claudia. Poor old dilapidated house! I wonder if someone has perhaps called senior services? (If she’s of that age.) Someone surely has checked this out. But I’d be hankering to know.
Brenda
eeekkk, the suspense, you have got to go knock on the door, maybe she is nice…but wear your running shoes just in case!
Hi Claudia,
Reading about this house reminds me of the beginning of a mystery novel.
Wonder if you could knock on the door and introduce yourself? If you dare!
Maybe she is just a hermit and wants to live in solitude, who knows, but it makes ones imagination go wild.
hugs
Sissie
Wow….this post is amazing. You do wonder whats up with her and worry. I don’t know what I would do…I feel like I would want to knock on the door but then she may so not want company..keep us posted my friend. xoxox
We do have to remember to count our blessings. xoxoo
Seeing houses like this always makes me wonder what they looked like in their hey-day and what caused the downfall. It’s always very sad to be to see them
Wow. Everyone has a story. I wonder what hers is. My first thought was also “Grey Gardens”. I saw the original documentary many years ago. If you ever have a chance to see it, do. It was facinating. I think people in these similar situations often create their own little world.
I use to live in the old part of town, and was always intrigued by an old house that was run down, but had an overgrown, but fairly kept-up yard. One day I was driving down the alley next to the house, totally obsessing over the backyard and what may have been an heirloom garden. Then I saw her… the lady of the house. She was almost the spittin’ image of Tasha Tudor, minus the bonnet. I didn’t stop and talk to her. She sent off a vibe that basically said, “Hello-goodbye”, so I just smiled. I’ve never forgotten her though~ or her beautiful “secret garden”.
Hugs,
Jill
Oh Claudia, I truly think she must need help. Is there someone you could call to just come by and check on her? The outside of the house is probably a refection of what the inside looks like.
So Grey Gardens…
And I love it…the way you wrote it is simply touching…
Hi Claudia,
The house looks a little scary to me. How sad to think someone might be living in there all alone with no one to talk too for days. Of course some folks just like their peace and quite.
I so agree with you; never know what life is like for someone until your walk a mile in their shoes..
Have a sweet day and hugs, Elizabeth
There are many living this way. Sometimes it is hard to ask for help, and people prefer to be left alone.
The other day I learned of a service in our community called ‘In the Service of the Lord’, and if people will call and ask for help, volunteers will be out in a jiffy to help out with transportation and handyman jobs. Free. Out of love.
I hope that the woman living in this home is okay. I’ll say a prayer for her.
Hugs,
Zuzu
I am currentyly reading a book “the fixer upper” about a lawyer who looses and goes to a small town to reclaim and refurbish the once beautiful victorian house that had a family legacy. Only she cannot find it as it is so overgrown. The story has an old lady living in the home with no heat etc., she at first tries to find a way to get someone to get the lady out of there, but then she befriends her…..I am only on 3rd chapter but the old lady was quite content as this one may be, there are alot of people that live differently than we do, she has to somehow pay taxes etc.. I may would leave cookies in her mailbox or do small things to not intimidate her but make her start realizing she has someone who cares?? This is so intriguing to me! Please do keep us posted!
This was such an interesting post and one that evokes such feeling! It is terrible to see this happening…but yet again, people have tried to help and if the person refuses, what do you do?
What about leaving a note? Like if she ever needed an emergency or food or heat to please call or knock on your door or put out a flag or something. Maybe it will be ignored…but maybe not.
I’ll say a prayer for her!
Great post!
Jillian
Bella Rosa Antiques
Oh my Claudia, this makes me realize how lonely and empty the world has become for some people. Have you tried going to your town’s municipal office to find someone who might give you some information about the house and the woman? It must be so hard to not know her situation – I’m sending good thoughts her way, hoping that she is okay and that perhaps you will get to meet her and help out in some way. Yeah Atticus – love that movie!
Ciao, bella!
C: I have goosebumps!
You do have to wonder
if there is mental illness
involved, here. When
someone is content to let
the roof cave in and
the jungle grow up AND
rejects help from concerned
neighbors, there has got
to be something off.
The reason for the goosebumps:
It could easily happen to
any of us, which is the
unspoken truth about mental
diseases. Keep us posted!
xx Suzanne
I often thought when I’ve seen or heard of a situation like this… how very sad, and how it could be any one of us given the right set of circumstances.
It’s hard to know whether reaching out would be considered intrusive by the woman, but you never know…maybe it would be the miracle she’s been waiting for.
Claudia, How sweet of you to care about her. It would be so wonderful to know if she is “reachable” or if she prefers to be left alone. These stories fascinate me so much. xo rachel
It does make you think! What a great old house I hope it is taking good care of that woman, I think it is!
Hugs, Lisa
Claudia, what a wonderful post and what wonderful writing of this story!! Do you have books you have published, I would sure want to own them!!! luv, Kerrie
PS: Love the analogy of Boo Radley…
Have you and your husband ever discussed going up to the door to introduce yourselves? She just might welcome it. I say this, though I know I would probably be a bit nervous myself doing that.
Keep us posted on the goings on — we all feel a part of this now! :)
XOXO
Ruth
yes, it happens that some people who are tired of the consumer society choose to live as hermits, but mostly it is the circumstances of life which led them to live like that. The lack of income or an extreme poverty is often the cause.
Maybe this house belongs to this woman but may be it was long abandoned and having no house she moved there. How to know ? There must be some authority which lists the inhabitants of your town or area ? Perhaps, someone could check with the “city hall” to see if they are aware that this woman lives there in absolute poverty.
At Saint-Arnoult where I live, I met often an old lady wearing rags, the word is not too hard, who was living in a dilapidated house with a garden full of rubbish. She was wellknown in the village.
One would have thought she was in misery and yet every day she went to the caterer shop to buy prepared meals for her lunch. It is unbelievable but it is true. She had money but she did not want to live like others.
So you see, you never know what is behind the story of a person.
I found your blog through “A Miniature Place”
http://aminiatureplace.blogspot.com
I was intrigued by the story of the lonely women in the house.
I know that in Texas you can go to the county appraisel district’s website and search by address. In my case it is “Harris County, Texas Appraisel District”. Search there for the address.
(I do this because I work in the construction industry and I need to know closing dates for warranty purposes)
There you can find names of owners of homes. They usually do not have phone numbers, but you could get a name and maybe they are listed. It will show how many years the home has been owned and how much the house is appraised for also. In Texas it is open public records, so I assume also in most other states. I think she probably has a phone, although it might not be listed, but if I were she, I would prefer a phone call first.
Another thought is . . have you spoken to nearby churches? They often reach out to people that live alone.
Sorry. Didn’t mean to ramble.
Hugs,
Lainie