Since Riley’s death, Don and I have been sticking close to home. Crowds irritate us. Normal, everyday activities and conversations irritate us. Our world has changed, yet everything else around us seems to go on as usual. Yesterday was the first day I’d ventured out since Monday. And I couldn’t wait to get back home. I think this is fairly normal. We just want to be here in our cottage, with Scout, and shut the rest of the world out.
One thing that gives me comfort is nature. I walk around the property, camera in hand, and sometimes see something that is so compelling, I am pulled out of my mourning for a moment in time. The other day I saw a creature darting from flower to flower among the phlox. It moved very quickly. At first, I took it to be a hummingbird. But as I looked more closely, I realized it wasn’t a hummingbird.
It had a hairy body, clear wings and it moved as quickly as a hummingbird does. So quickly that I barely got this shot. I came back in the house, grabbed the laptop and quickly found out that this little guy is a hummingbird moth. Often mistaken for a hummingbird, hemaris thysbe, or hummingbird clearwing moth, is attracted to white or pale flowers with a sweet scent – hence, the visitation to my phlox. If you visit the link, you’ll see a great close-up of the moth’s body.
It feeds through a proboscis – the long tube that you can see in this close-up:
The proboscis curls up under the moth’s head when it’s not feeding. Amazing.
Many of you may already know about this creature, but it’s my first sighting and the discovery of it among my flowers provided a little respite from my grief.
I wasn’t planning on posting today, but I was scheduled to run the ad at the top of the post, so I forced myself to. Good thing: I was able to share this little wonder with you. I’ll be moving the blog over the weekend so hopefully all will be in place by Monday. Wish me luck!
Have a happy Friday.
Well, Claudia, you`re doing much better tha I did. Good for you but don`t rush it.
I think about you, Don and Scout every day.
S
xo
Hello Claudia, my heart breaks for you still, the healing is slow. Love the picture of the Hummingbird moth, I`ve seen them once before,really neat creature.Blessings Francine.
Perhaps that’s what I *thought* I saw, the other day. Never heard of this. Thank you.
Best wishes for as short-as-possible trip through your necessary grieving. I am sorry if that sounds cruel. I understand losing a pet. But … But….. Pets have shorter life spans than we do. It’s natural. And it seems unwise to waste too much of our own limited life span, in …. Not appreciating all that we have, and in not finding peace and enjoying what good health WE still have.
“Auntie”
Do we have these moths in San Diego? I’ve never seen one…ah, sweet Nature!!
I was so very, very sorry to read about Riley. He knows how much you & Don love him. I’d love to read any little stories you have about him, any memories you have that come to mind. Oh, that picture of him and Scout is over-the-top adorable!!
Looking forward to the blog improvements, although I love it right now as is :)
BTW, try to get a little rest here and there. You’ve been through (and are going through) a lot…
What a remarkable creature, Claudia, and your photo of him is stunning! I’m glad you were able to take comfort in your garden. Best of luck with the ‘move’ of your blog. I hope you have a restful weekend. Take care.
That little creature lives where I live too! I had never seen one as I am from WA and we didn’t have them there. Interesting aren’t they? Take care!!
Dear Claudia,
Since losing our own beloved Dion on August 1, and in the couple of months leading up to having to make that terrible trip to the vet — during Dion’s time in our home hospice care — I haven’t read much in our little blogging world. I didn’t do much of anything those last couple of weeks but stay close to my dear boy.
I know from past losses that I will never get over losing him. There is now no dog in our house — first time in 20 years — and it is eerily empty and quiet. Each time I think my tears are used up, I find there is an endless supply.
I am so emotionally bruised, and I know you are, too.
I am sorry for your pain and grief, knowing that its intensity matches the great love you have for this special dog.
We baby-sat our Dion’s 3 year old nephew last week, and his energy and activity level was in such sharp and painful contrast to Dion’s last months, that it pained me to realize, to see acted out, just how much our Dion had lost. I know it was time, but that doesn’t make it any easier.
Bless you for your loving care of Riley, and that last great gift of love that was so hard to give.
Cass
Good luck Claudia and take all the time you need to grieve. When my cat died I wouldn’t let anyone touch the room she spent the most time in, not the toys, not anything. I couldn’t bear it. The only thing that helped me begin the healing process was finding her kitten pictures. At that point I was able to focus on all the years we spent together, rather than a future spent apart. (((Claudia)))
Hope all goes well with the blog Claudia, it can be frustrating.
Hang in there, everyday will get a little bit better.
hugs,
Sue
I’d never heard of this little creature. Learn something new every day. Just put one foot in front of the other. Photography is one of the best therapies, says I, which is why I’m chomping at the bit to get outside. Pull that emotional quilt around yourself and allow yourself to feel its softness, its protectiveness. I’m here. I’ll always be here. Whenever you need me. But you bask in the quiet right now.
Brenda
What a fascinating creature. Claudia I always feel the same way out in public after something like an illness or a death in the family. I get impatient and irritated that people an. Just go about their lives seemingly unscathed. But of course they have their own sadnesses as well. What you are experiencing is normal and soon the pain will softn. Ann
Hang in there. Interesting little guy, that moth!! Good luck with the blog.
Hugs,
Kris
I saw my first one this year also. So facinating! I know what you mean. Sometimes it hurts when other people are going about their business seemly without care. Life hurts so much sometimes. My prayers are with you, Don and Scout. Hang on to each other. Maybe you can make a Riley place out in your garden. Special plant or object in honor of him. It is so special and sad knowing how much of our hearts they have. Hugs, Teresa
Oh Claudia- here is the bad part about not keeping up with blogs. I am so sorry to read about Riley. My heart goes out to you- I know how much you love your furry children. I wish I could give you a real hug.
Claudia it’s a blessing to have small moments of respite from the grief. Even just a sighting in your yard of a funny furry creature helps toward the healing. Bless you and Don as you mourn the loss of your sweet Riley. Hugs, Linda
Have a wonderful weekend! Is that fireweed that the hummingbird moth is feeding on?
Claudia- I think what you are feeling is pretty common-that feeling of disconnecting with people and closing in to grieve.
I have never seen one of those moths and never knew about them before I started blogging- xo Diana
Claudia, Im sorry I haven’t been visiting blogs much and so I didn’t know Reilly had passed on.. I am so very sorry, so deeply sorry.. Like you, I was not able to have my own children so, like you, my dogs ARE my children. I lost one of my babies in Dec of 2010 to liver failure that came out of nowhere.. Like You, I grieved for a long long time.. We miss our Bruiser everyday and sometimes still cry.. Just the other day I was cleaning the mantle where I have his ashes and I began to cry.. Be gentle with yourself and know that there are people who honestly do understand your suffering.
Sending lots of love and hugs,
Robyn
If you lean a little closer to the screen, I’ll whisper to you. That is really a fairy dressed up in moth’s clothing!!!Our garden has one special kitty, one beloved Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and two pet chickens. Every time I pass them by I say hello to them, so losing a wonderful pet indeed makes one feel very fragile.
Claudia–I started including Riley and Scout, you and Don in my prayers some time ago. This will continue. I feel your pain.
With respect to your personal beliefs, it helps me to believe that our darling pets are together and we will see them again. They are no longer sick. God watches over the innocent creatures. Riley will be well cared for.
Hugs,
Andrea in Calif
I’ve heard about this type of moth but have never seen one. How lovely that you were able to capture it flitting about your garden. Sending hugs and blessings to you and yours, Tammy
Stay strong Claudia, strong for Riley and for Scout who has lost his friend.I was so upset to read that he had gone, I had to leave the room at work. I know how much it hurts to say goodbye.Thinking of you xx
That’s an unusual little creature. I see your blog has now officially moved!
-Karen
I understand totally how you are feeling. I think, too, that it is best to stay away from noise and the hustle and bustle of life in general. I hope soon your heart is lifted and you feel happy again. Deb
I have these huge moths too, they come usually in the evening to the open blossoms of the Moonflowers on the porch. First time I saw one I thought it was a hummingbird – it was a bit scary!
Hope you are doing better dear – it will take time. The new blog format is very nice – good that you’ve had something to keep your mind busy. A lot of your recent posts showed up in my reader again – that’s OK though.
Hope this weekend has been a sunny one to help you get through the days a little easier.
Hugs – Mary
I often see many of those moths in my yard, but not so many this year. I must have failed to plant their favorite flower!
I am so sad to read of Riley’s passing. I understand too well the void in your home and heart. After eight months, I still expect to see our miniature Schnauzer bound toward me. His favorite toy, with which he snuggled until the end, sits on the hearth. I did not know where else to put it when we returned from the vet with only it. It may be there forever.
You, Don and Scout will be in my thoughts and heart as you mourn and miss sweet Riley. I am glad you are surrounded by favorite things in your cottage, and beauty in your garden. May they bring a small bit of comfort.
Hi Claudia,
I want to say again how sorry I am about your loss. I do understand on so many levels your wanting to be at home. Early in the summer while on vacation I lost my beloved doxie Blue. He was my best buddie and stayed close to me. I am back to work now and I hate leaving my house every day. I still have three other dogs and they are working hard to fill in the hole in my heart but it is very to think that my Blue is out there somewhere. At night I lay in bed and wonder where he is and if he is being loved. I know it will get better but now in the time I still feel like a part of me is missing.
Suzan
Ladybug Cottage