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Kindness Matters

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I saw this in a shop while we were in Florida.

It’s one of those magnetic signs that can be put on a car and it’s now on my car.

It has sort of a sixties vibe, doesn’t it? Well, I came of age in the sixties and I’m proud of it.

Kindness matters.

It matters a great deal. Kindness comes from the core of a loving heart. Love for our fellow man, love for animals, love for our planet – love for everyone, no matter their color, race, or creed, no matter their economic status, no matter their sexual orientation, no matter what.

It doesn’t spring from fear, which seems to be ruling our world right now. It is certainly where the inflamed rhetoric that has been spewed out on a regular basis during this Presidential campaign comes from. It’s ugly, vile, hateful, and beneath contempt. The fear-mongering, the disrespect shown to women, the disrespect shown to fellow candidates, the disrespect shown to our sitting President, the disrespect shown to those who have suffered, are suffering, to those with disabilities – is this what we want to be made of? Is this how we want to conduct our lives?

I’ve known a few people in my life who have resorted to verbal attacks that were blistering, hurtful and cruel – not just once, but many times. This is what happens when a bully is cornered. They come out swinging, saying anything and everything in order to ‘win.’ And there is never an apology because that would mean taking responsibility for their actions. Winning is all, even if it means losing a friend or making an enemy in the process.

I do not continue those toxic relationships, though I have compassion for their obvious pain and a wish for peace to envelop their hearts.

We’re seeing much the same thing in this election process. Bullying. Hateful rhetoric. When cornered, attack. When challenged, attack even more. Never admit you’re wrong. Be a winner, not a loser. Make fun of those who have less. Make fun of the way people look. Make fun of those who might disagree with you.

Not to mention the strong-arm tactics that look like something I thought I would never see in this day and age, that bring to mind newsreel footage of fascists who would rough up those who protest, throw people out of a rally based on the color of their skin, deny any sort of healthy discussion.

They’re afraid. They react from a place of fear, which quickly turns to hate.

Why do we tolerate this in anyone, let alone someone who is running for the Presidency?

Kindness Matters.

I see no kindness there. I see someone who talks about excluding, about winners and losers, about torture, about punishing women, about bombing the innocent in order to win. I see someone whose ego needs to be constantly fed, who needs to have his name in the news – it’s like mother’s milk to him – who, at heart, is a child who never grew up, who knows nothing except how to bully, how to attack. His ego will never be fed enough. It will always crave more.

“He started it.”

Oh, for heaven’s sake, are you 6 years old?

Look, I have strong political beliefs and if you’ve read this blog for any length of time, you probably have a pretty good idea of where I stand. I have issues with other candidates as well, big issues, but those I will keep private as this is not a political blog.

This however, is different. This is shameful behavior. This is behavior I wouldn’t tolerate in a child, let alone an adult. This is embarrassing to those of us (and I have to believe it is most of us, please, let it be most of us) who believe differently and are horrified that this is getting media attention all over the world.

I have a theory. We now have a whole group of people who watch reality television and think it’s real. It isn’t, of course. It’s staged. (If you think it’s real, you need a reality check.) There is a segment of that programming that plays to the worst part in all of us. People say vile things, they physically attack each other, they say and do all that we were taught not to do. And people watch, just like spectators cheered as they watched the horrors in the Roman Colosseum, or watched gleefully as people were executed at the guillotine.

They think it’s real and, even more disturbing, they think it’s acceptable.

It isn’t.

Public discourse has sunk to a low that I haven’t seen in my lifetime.

And in walks a carnival barker who, like any shill worth his salt, knows how to play to those people. He plays on fear, on xenophobia, on racism, on the very disrespect we see on the shows of Jerry Springer or Maury Povich, or in political discussions on cable news, or on ‘reality’ television.

He’s speaking to the worst part of us. And, like those who are sure they  will be the ones to win the carnival barker’s game even though it’s rigged against them, people are buying this crap, even excusing it.

There is no excuse.

Hate breeds hate. Love breeds love. Kindness breeds kindness.

Like most of you, I was raised to say please and thank you, to respect my elders, to admit when I was wrong, to take responsibility for my actions, to treat everyone as my equal, to be kind to animals, to love my fellow man.

I have a real problem with the theory of American Exceptionalism – at least as it’s used today. It bothers me. I’m not a flag waver, which doesn’t mean I am not patriotic, it just means that I think we need to show who we are by our actions. Waving a flag is easy. Doing what is right is harder.

But if you believe in that concept of Exceptionalism, which is based on the idea of a free nation with democratic ideals and personal liberty, then surely this sort of exclusionary, hateful rhetoric is directly opposed to that concept. It’s everything our forefathers fought against.

Kindness cannot exist in exclusion. Kindness cannot exist in hate. Kindness cannot exist in bullying. Kindness cannot exist in bigotry or xenophobia. Kindness cannot exist in cruelty. Kindness cannot exist in anything other than love.

Kindness Matters. It matters now more than ever.

Happy Friday.

ClaudiaSignature140X93

 

 

Comments

  2. So very well said! Kindness and empathy go hand in hand. My parents always said “How would you feel if someone said that to you, or did that to you?” It taught me to be kind and think about my words and actions. This election has shown me the truly ugly side of many friends and family members. I respect their right to free speech even if I don’t like what they say. Sadly, there are many I’ve lost respect for due to the meanness and hatred they’re spouting. We need more kindness, more empathy and more people who think for themselves instead of listening to the ranting of a xenophobic idiot.

    • I’ve written about it before, but it’s been awhile and I’m even more appalled by what is going on. So I had to write again. Thank you, Cindy.

  5. I have tuned out the political scene. Too ugly. I also hate reality programming. If we want to know why we live in such a violent world, all we need to do is look to the media that promotes it to make money. I am a firm believer of looking on the bright side and positive thinking. It bothers me that so many live on a diet of ugliness in behavior and speech. Gentle and happy souls are a gift to the world. We should be promoting that type of behavior and not the other. Kindness does matter and it changes everything. Have a great weekend good and kind soul.

    Big Texas Hugs,
    Susan and Bentley

  6. The golden rule…. Will always be important! I Learned a new word yesterday, culvert, I had to look it up in the dictionary. We have sewers here .

  7. Thank you Claudia!! You way with words and your good heart make this a piece worth sharing (if I may?) with my friends and family. I have never seen such hate and anger and bullying tactics in this country by someone who wants to be the leader of it. I fear for us. Fear we have lost any idea of boundaries of what is right and wrong, what we should and shouldn’t say to others. Yes kindness, where are you? I hope the good people will rise up and no longer tolerate this kind of behavior.

    xo.
    Linda

    • Yes, of course you can share, Linda.

      Maybe (hopefully) we needed this in order to change. I hope so.

  11. Amen, my friend. And if people think that this is NOT impacting the young people, let me share a story. A high school in our area had a soccer match recently. One team had several young Hispanic women as members. During the course of the match, “fans” from the other team (who were losing) began chanting “Build a wall! Build a Wall! Build a Wall!”
    That, sadly, is what we get when behavior such as what we see from people who want to be the leader of the free world, practice.
    Flying an American flag (or wearing one of those ridiculous mindless tiny flag pins) does not make you a patriot, if this is the rhetoric you choose to use.
    THIS is who we are showing the youth of our nation is a role model. Make enough money and your behavior is no longer important. Kindness and doing unto others is apparently for the weak and the unfortunate. Unbelievable.

    • You put it so well, Chris. This is what we’re teaching our kids? This is the new role model?

      It’s absolutely horrifying.

  13. Right On Sister!! Of course kindness matters! I grew up on the 60’s too….and quite frankly I am appalled that in this year 2016…we are still having to deal with all this hate, and discrimination. What scares me most, is there seems to be so many people following that man’s lead…too many! Hate begets hate..but….kindness will beget kindness. At least that is my sincerest hope for our country! ;)

  16. Claudia, you have such a way with words! this is beautiful stated and I agree with you totally!!! I am so relieved so many others feel the same way; maybe there is still hope!
    I also grew up in the 60’s and I never thought that I would see or experience in my life time what we have seen, heard in this Election!!!!
    Thank you for sharing and being able to put in words that express so perfectly how so many of us feel…

  17. I agree! Can’t believe the hurtful things that are being said. Happy to see people on here that feel the same way.

    Janet

  19. Claudia, this is a masterful piece of writing. And it’s the way MANY MANY people in the country feel these days too. They just aren’t express it as well as you’ve done it here. You should SERIOUSLY consider sending this to the op-ed board at the ‘New York Times’ – or any other paper for that matter. I guarantee you there’d be a whopping response to it! Awesome job… ?

  21. Wow! This was an exceptional post. You need to send this to a newspaper or magazine for publication. This article needs to be published big-time!

  22. It’s a difficult time in our country, for sure. I’m a registered Independent and always will be. I have many friends who are extremely liberal and others who are extremely conservative. I prefer to keep my options open depending on who is running. My friends and I who don’t agree with what is going on agree to respectfully disagree with each other when it comes to politics. But I could never disown a family member or cut a friend from my life because of their political views. There is so much more to them than just politics, so much to love about them all. Just as some of my agnostic friends are among the kindest people I know, some of my church-going friends can tend to be more judgmental on occasion. And some of the people I know who do support the candidate you spoke of are among the kindest of my friends and would give the shirt off their back to anyone, with no regard to race, color, or creed, so it pains me to hear them being labeled as ‘racist’ by the media for supporting a certain candidate because I know them personally, and they are anything but. In the end, I do love all of my family and friends, no matter who they choose to support. I would never want to lose a single one of them over politics. They are all good, kind people who come from different backgrounds and who see things differently. They are all making decisions based on what they feel is best for our beautiful country. We should all be allowed to disagree with each other without being torn apart. It makes me very sad that politics has driven a wedge between so many friends and family members in this day and age.

    • It makes me sad, too, Donna.

      Here’s my question: I have to wonder how anyone who doesn’t agree with those bigoted, xenophobic and/or misogynistic comments can somehow compartmentalize them in order to support the candidate? They speak to his character. How can they condone the white supremacists who act as security at some of the events? Do they look the other way? I must confess, I don’t understand that one. And while I wouldn’t ‘disown’ them, my feelings about that person would change. How could they not? How could I look at them with respect?

      I respect differences in opinion as to policy. I respect Independents, Republicans and Democrats and I have been a registered Independent at different times in my life. I cannot respect those differences in opinion when they have to with marginalizing ethnic groups, whether they are Muslim or Hispanic or Mexican, with the assumption – not really an assumption – rather the statement that they are rapists and robbers and terrorists. That is against everything I believe in morally. That is just plain wrong. It’s said, of course, to inflame. How sad.

      I have a disabled nephew. If Mr. Trump had made fun of him the way he made fun of that reporter who is disabled by imitating and exaggerating his tremors and arm movements, I would deck him. And then I’d sue him.

      If candidates are going to use inflammatory rhetoric, unfortunately, the consequences are going to be exactly what we are seeing. This isn’t the first time this has happened and it’s been building for a long time. But it surely is the worst I’ve ever seen. xo

      • I totally hear you, Claudia. I have no answers for why people feel certain ways. If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say some people hear what they want to hear and tune out what they don’t want to hear, but I honestly don’t know. This whole political season makes me very sad. It’s the most depressing election period I can remember, and I’m no spring chicken. xo back at you

  24. Your post today is so exceptionally well written that I could just as well have been reading an author/columnist/analyst in your NEW YORK TIMES or the WSJ; bravo, Claudia. I wish you had a way to submit this kind of thing so that it could be read by a wider audience than just your blog.

    I happened to glance at a poll yesterday from a credible news source that was trending at over 50% of voters having zero interest with no intent to watch yesterday’s debate. And it stayed consistent today with over 50% confirming that they in fact did NOT watch. Something like a half million people having already contributed to these polls.

    Don’t care? How can we not care about who’s going to be running our country in such precarious times? We can’t just tune out…but people are. God help us.

  27. Claudia, I could not agree with you more. As a long time political activist, I am appalled and even frightened by what is going on. I see appalling behavior even at the local level. Has the whole world gone mad?

  28. The one you have written so extremely well about suffers from narcissistic personality disorder &, therefore, is unfit to lead, It scares & saddens me that so many in our country are hoping he is elected to our highest office. I cannot respect anyone who is supporting him for whatever reason. Thank you. I agree with all above who suggest this to sent to newspapers for publication.

  30. Way to go, Claudia!!! I wanted to break out singing the song “Amen”. I am a retired teacher and taught for years…bullying was something I never tolerated. Still to this day cannot understand why some people have to use this “power”. I appreciate your daily wisdom

  32. You write with such grace and clarity – excellent post, it should be placed on the front page of all major newspapers!

  34. Claudia,

    Does kindness matter? Yes, it does.

    I have gotten to the point that I detest “politics” only one degree less than I loathe Reality TV. And I can’t even watch the news. I long for Walter Cronkite. I live in a different world than this. Call me an ostrich who puts her head in the sand, but there is a reason an ostrich does exactly that.

    I was raised by parents who taught us right from wrong, who instilled in us the concept that kindness and manners count. And in my world, they do. I took great pride in being “nice” as a child and still do, though niceness might be a detriment in this push and shove world of today where manners appear at times to be a foreign entity and where the “Mighty Me” rules.

    I have frankly been horrified by what I have heard individuals on both sides of the political arena say in writing and in person as they seem to have taken leave of their senses and have taken rudeness to the level of nasty. I read something the other day that blew my mind. And I never watch the alleged debates if I can help it. I judged speech tournaments, studied the great speeches, and admittedly critique the minister on Sunday. I know excellence and can’t to,erate anything otherwise in a debate.. In terms of rudeness, Im referring to ordinary people, too, the ones you see each day. This country, and world, have reached a degree of incivility I have only read about in books or seen in movies. So it doesn’t surprise me to see politicians acting out. But it doesn’t please me to witness it, either. I pray it doesn’t rub off on me, but I fear it has when I am short with others.

    I guess because my masters was in rhetoric , I can say this current political circus is not far removed from the things that were done and said in the early years of this nation. Thomas Jefferson’s peevishness over Washington’s listening with intent and agreement with Hamilton’s ideas anout the need for a national bank for one. This resulted in Jefferson secretly trashing Washington and having him called senile and incompetent (among other things) in a newspaper that Jefferson anonymously owned. Jefferson even started a whispering campaign which is worse. To top it off, it was Jefferson who BEGGED Washington to run for a second term when Washington was exhausted and only wanted to go home as he rightfully should have been allowed to do. but he felt it was his duty to stay and did so to this country’s eternal benfit. When Washington found out what that flaming hypocrite did, neither George nor Martha spoke to Jefferson again. They were devastated by the sheer cold-hearted treachery and the soul-shattering betrayal of one whom they had considered a dear friend. I could continue, but you get the gist. It was bad. No, it was despicable.

    Then when Andrew Jackson ran for president, some newspaper draggd up his wife’s unfortunate divorce (when she unknowingly married Jackson and thought her divorce from an abusive first husband was final) and made Rachel out to look like a blazing harlot. They called her hideous things in the press. Jackson had kept the newspapers from her, but when Rachel went to Nashville to buy her inaugural gown, somehow she heard about the mean-spirited gossip, had a heart attack and DIED before Jackson ever took office. He was utterly grief stricken and was holding her in his arms long after she died to the point that they had to beg him to let them bury her. He was wearing widows weeds when he was president, and his heart was broken. What happened with Rachel actually changed the course of history, but I won’t get into that here.

    I think this country has hit critical mass. I am stunned at times by the rhetoric, but in truth I have sensed this train coming in terms of the polarization in the US. As someone who considers herself an independent thinker, the out and out hostility shown to the last two presidents is scary. It is one thing to hate a man’s politics, but respect the office and one’s own dignity enough to be civil about it. There are ways to make the point heard.

    Does kindness matter? You bet it does. The Lord himself outlined it all in First Corinthians 13. Advice I need to read and ponder daily.

    Off my soapbox and on to dinner…

    xo

    Sheila

    PS. Not sure you saw my condolence note for Don’s friend, but please know I’m thinking of you both and am sorry.

    • Love your soapbox, Sheila. Thank you. And thanks for all of that fascinating history! I guess there’s nothing new under the sun – we’ve seen several vicious whispering campaigns in several of the most recent elections.

  35. Wow! You certainly write well. This needs to be published. How embarrassing to have someone like this trying to represent our country. I’ve really turned off any connection to the political arena and stick to watching vintage movies. Talk about head-in-the-sand approach. Guess it’s a way of coping. But, I’ll be there come election day( whoever might be running) to cast my vote. Love the sign. I’ve never been one to put signs on my car, but I sure would display that sign. A good reminder to whoever might read it. I worked with a gal once that said she forgets to pray unless she is in a crisis. Her strategy became that every time she saw a VW when driving it was a good reminder to pray. Maybe if people see your sign “Kindness Matters” it will remind them to think before actions. We can hope! Right? Peace to you!

  36. VERY well said!! I wish it could be printed on every editorial page on every paper in the country. No, on the front page. Every one needs to be reminded of this–especially my fellow Texans…..

  37. A wonderfully written post Claudia, one I am sure echoes the thoughts and sentiments of many other people. I think it will be a very sad day for America if this person should become president. I agree with others, this should be published.

  39. I always thought Jesus was pretty good with the whole random acts of kindness thing. Maybe some of the haters should look to him as a role model.

    • Interesting that many of those people identify themselves as Christians. Perhaps they’re reading a different Bible?

  41. Recently blogger in USA wrote slightly nauseating post about happiness ,how you have to be happy all the time.
    One of the comment was from women facing homelessness,no job,and another sick in wheelchair that they care not able to be happy with all the problems.
    Dear Claudia,no kindness from blogger,she wrote another post against those unfortunate readers accusing them and calling them names.
    Blogger got support from “mutual admiration society”accusing and character assassinating those two women.
    Few good and decent women wrote post defending people that can not be happy when facing huge problems.
    Yes Kindness matters ,thank you for your blog,

    • I’m pretty sure I know the blogger and the blog post you’re referring to. I read it. And I read her response, which, unfortunately, did not surprise me. She has a group of readers who seem to wear blinders and defend her no matter what she does or says.

      Thank you for commenting, Hope. Kindness does matter.

  42. You said it all perfectly. This is an all time low for American Politics, and it just seems to get worse everyday. You know I thought George Bush was and is a complete idiot, but I respected his role as president even though I did not respect his policy. I can’t believe after 7 years in the White House, Barak Obama is treated so horribly, and that comes from one party only. It is horrible and it has taught so many that they can spew their hatred and there are no repercussions to that. Bullying is now being seen all the time on air, what does this teach our children? This has to be the lowest point for our country.

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