I just mowed this about 4 days ago. Now it looks like it’s been neglected. The grass grows so quickly! Lots of wildflowers are emerging on the property and in the secret garden specifically. I love this particular time of year in this little hideaway because there will be all sorts of flowers and color for the next few weeks.
Speaking of flowers, we have a freeze warning for tonight. Are you kidding me? What the heck? So Don and I will have to bring in all the pots for the night, including these heavy vintage pots. Coleus does not like cold and they’ll die if frost hits. Big old sigh.
It’s actually been a trying 24 hours or so. Don found out his high school friend died a week ago. They hung out a lot together with another guy, Don’s friend Joe – who is in his early seventies and battling Alzheimers. So, one friend has passed away and the other is slowly fading away and it is very upsetting for my husband.
Then we found out our mortgage payment is going up because of some escrow screw up. We need to find out more and I’ve asked Don to call them tomorrow. But I’m already panicked.
Then, Don remarked casually, “Well, the babies have obviously fledged.”
“What??? I just saw them yesterday!”
“I took a picture and they aren’t there.”
So I went outside to see for myself and the nest is empty.
I had been staying away from the nest, which is quite deep, so when I actually peeked at it the day before yesterday and saw the very top of their heads, I assumed they were little babies.
Obviously, they weren’t.
So now I feel sad that I didn’t have any idea they were about to leave the nest. It’s quiet around here. No mom and dad scolding us, no babies. I just wasn’t prepared for it.
And a freeze tonight.
Insert lots of sighs here.
Stay safe.
Happy Wednesday.
It’s those little things, one atop the other — the birds, the frost, the pots, the sense of having missed something special that you wanted to see. It’s deflating, especially when they are all at once. And then add something big — the loss of a longtime friend, the changes in others that come with time. It gets heavy.
We have that same warning. I don’t have plants out yet, apart from pansies, which are so hardy. (And close to the house.) But hoping to get to the nursery today to pick up a few for the cemetery planting. It’s not supposed to last — but it’s annoying while it does.
I’ve been trying to decide whether to join the neighborhood garage sales (I don’t really like doing yard sales) or just throwing it all in the car and taking it to charity. We’ll see. I went into the Scary Room yesterday and started purging/sorting/organizing and was there two hours. Even I can’t tell I did anything, apart from what I actually know I did. So, back to it today. It’s always something, isn’t it? Yards or sheds or scary rooms…
I really have to start cleaning things out. By that I mean, the stuff inside the house. We’ve done the shed, now it’s time to really get rid of things. Wish me luck!
Stay safe, Jeanie.
sorry for those losses … don’s friends, especially … i wish you could have seen the baby birds fledge and wish you didn’t have to deal with freezing weather on may 17 (be careful moving those heavy planters). and i hope the escrow mess can be worked out in your favor.
prayers being said.
kathy
So do I. I’m feeling a lot of stress at the moment.
Thanks, Kathy.
Stay safe.
It might be easier to cover those plants instead of moving everything especially if they are heavy.
“The golden years are tarnished”, my aunt used to say! Enjoy the now!
Covering is alway problematic. They’re planted with the coleus being the tallest plant and any covering would impact those plants. So, we’ll bring them in.
Sad news and disappointments all together can really make you feel low…so sorry.
Thanks, Barrie.
Stay safe.
That is an awful lot of disconcerting news for one day. I am sorry to hear about Don’s friends. And…the birds. And your mortgage payment going up?
Too much to handle.
A couple weeks ago we got the new assessment on our home….it went up. So yay…we made a good investment 40 years ago, but boo…our property taxes are going to go up, again. If it continues to rise, we may be forced to move out of our home. Disconcerting to say the least. So…I understand all too well, how you are feeling. I hope something can be worked out with your mortgage company.
Hope you can enjoy your day! ;)
We too got hit w/ triennial property value increase of 30%. Triennial is misleading because the state and/or county picks one year only in the past three years and they always pick the year w/ the largest increase in values based on sales. A neighborhood next to mine only went up 20% and my previous neighborhood (prior to down-sizing with sales averaging $400K) went up 0% because there just happened to be no sales in 2022. That neighborhood has 70 sum homes to my current that has over 700. Not difficult in seeing an imbalance here.
Also hearing that homeowner insurance premiums are jumping up higher than expected and my annual bill will be here first of June. You know, due just before 2nd half of property taxes come due again. Insert “sigh”.
Condolences to Don, losing our friends is heartbreaking so we must make the most of our own days now and not put aside till tomorrow what we can enjoy today.
It’s all too much, isn’t it? I’m sorry about all of that, Chris. Too much to handle.
Thanks.
Stay safe!
Sound advice when it comes to enjoying every day, and not putting off visits with friends and relatives, because you never know. 30% is a huge increase…ours was only 20%, so I guess I should feel lucky…eh? Take care…good to have you back here Chris! ;)
Same here. If prices and taxes continue to rise, we would have to sell. That would break my heart – the same for you.
Stay safe, Donnamae.
My best friend’s sister lives in New York and her property taxes are really high.
I don’t know how one could manage if they only had Soc Security.
Depends on where you live in NY.
Stay safe, Linda.
Claudia, I’m sorry so many things have happened at once that makes you sigh sadly. I hope you get the mortgage issue straightened out immediately. You know how that’ll impact your financial situation.
I’m sorry for Don’s loss. As we age, experiencing the death of friends is not unexpected but nevertheless troubling on the soul. And I’m sorry you didn’t get to see your babies leave the nest, figuratively and literally. There will be more bird babies in the future.
Probably not this year, though. Ah, well.
Thanks, Wendy.
Stay safe.
Oh, dear, Claudia, you have a lot on your plate. Sad for Don to lose old friends. Not fair your mortgage payments might go up. And you missed out on the little birds fledging. And frost! 🌬My goodness! Mother Nature is having another hissy fit, it seems. But on the other hand, she has given us lovely spring blossoms. Hang in there. Better days ahead. Take gentle care. Hugs, Elaine
Thank you, Elaine.
Stay safe.
I’m sorry for, and can relate to, what Don is going through these days. My brother and I talk almost daily and lately realized our conversations have been heavy on who has what illness or who died. We two are what’s left of our immediate family and, as a result, have drawn closer. As Katherine Hepburn says on a recently discovered recording in the new Netflix bio, “life goes by like that *snaps fingers*.”
We are just that bit further north than you are so I haven’t put any of the flowers I’ve bought in pots yet. They’re living in the garage at night until nighttime temps no longer reach the low 40’s. Wisconsinites are all too aware of how fickle Wisconsin springtime can be.
Take care,
K.
We have an all clear by the first week in May. This really is freakish.
Thanks, Kay.
Stay safe.
I am so sorry about Don’s friends.
My next-door neighbors are young, in their 30s, little children … and the dad’s father passed away last week at only age 62; they are devastated; he will never see his grandchildren grow up and he’s left a widow in her 50s with whom he’d partnered in love and marriage since they were teens.
I am totally stressed but due to other things. Anxiety level has been too high. My face has been beet red all day and I haven’t slept since 3am.
I called the pharmacy earlier this morning about picking up my 3-mos supply of one of several prescription drugs I take for physical illnesses and the out-of-pocket cost on this ONE drug was, they told me on the phone, $700 … that’s up $150 from last refill. And I have really good insurance, like three types. This is killing us, and I can’t be without the drug.
Nervous wreck all day, decided to put it on a credit card (huge no-no for us) and what happens at the CVS but the card is rejected and I absolutely knew there was no reason why. Well, it was just the credit-card company on fraud alert because who goes in and spends $700 at CVS? There was nothing wrong with our card. Stress for my husband who’d gone to pick up the drug for me; embarrassing, but the credit-card company was just trying to protect us and them. (Actually, the wrinkle was good because it made me re-think how to pay for it, so I put $300 toward the bill as cash and only put $400 on the card (‘only’, like $400 is okay, which it is NOT.)
Our homeowners insurance went up a lot which then prompted the mortgage company to inform us we didn’t have enough money in our impound account which pays the flood insurance, homeowners insurance and property taxes. On my next payment, they wanted an extra $900. As it is, my mortgage payment has gone up anyway now, $200 more than I’ve been paying. The homeowners insurance out here in wildfire country of Southern Calif is getting impossible to find and impossible to afford. My husband is talking again about moving to the Midwest when I thought we’d finally put the subject to bed about leaving California after talking of nothing else for years.
So, there is no calm. The rescue dog is picking up on our stress and behaving badly. I dumped all over a friend on the phone this afternoon which certainly didn’t help her any, but that’s when a friend is a real friend because she listens to your pain and stress.
But something has to change and I know tomorrow will be a better day. My husband and I will press on as we always have and some way/somehow we will be okay. Just put one foot in front of the other, have faith, pick yourself up, dust yourself off; it’s a drill we know of, all too well.
Same. We have a $900 payment due to ensure we have enough money in escrow to pay for insurance and taxes. Why, we don’t know and we’re going to call them on Monday. $900 is more than we can spare right now.
Sorry you’re so stressed, but I understand, Vicki. Me too.
Stay safe.
It’s the title of your blog post, “Life”. It happens; life happens. You get a good day; you get a bad day. Life.
I’m just finding, thanks to your blog for instance (being reminded, when others share their stories), that there are actually people more like me ‘out there’ in the world; and we’re, many of us, having similar problems with making ends meet in our retirement years, when maybe we’d thought it would be easier and we had a different vision of it.
But there’s definitely economic disparity. (And why is this ‘new’ news, because there have always been the haves and the haves-not; Mother would quote me Bible verses when I was young, something of how there’d always be people in the world who had more than me and others who didn’t.)
I’ve spoken of it before … my circle of friends and the few relatives I’m left with are (and I know this seems odd) largely ALL in much-better financial circumstances than myself; and it’s not that I’m not happy for them, but it seems like there’s getting to be a wider and wider divide between us. I can’t talk to them or be emailing with them without feeling like we’re having less and less in common; we’re living such different lives from one another now. It causes me some discomfort, when it shouldn’t. (Just off the bat, they sure seem a lot more interesting than myself!)
They all have a lot of money (I’m not exaggerating when I term it “all”), and some of them didn’t earn it themselves (instead, they’ve had trust funds, or gotten large inheritances from Greatest Generation parents [I’ve watched this happen over and over again; something I’d read about for years, that it was something coming to the baby-boomer generation; and it did indeed happen for a lot of boomers who benefitted from the wealth of their frugal, ‘Great Depression’-era folks], also from ex-spouses in plushy divorces; that sort of thing … all of which has helped boost them into well-funded retirements).
Thankfully, these people in my ‘realm’ are also-mostly blessed by good health as well. So, really, there’s no stopping them at retirement from grabbing every piece of the pie (just age, over time, because at some point everybody does begin to slow down with the aging body!). In fact, one cousin of mine has decided to retire at 12/31/23 because she can; she’s not all that worried about her Social Security because she has other/independent wealth and, for example, interest income; I guess she’s got the medical-insurance angle worked out (with retiring early at age 60 and not yet qualifying for Medicare).
They do a lot of fun things, these people; they enjoy global travel (this year more than ever as the pandemic winds down) with a lot of fascinating experiences; perks of great hotels and wonderful restaurants wherever they roam; anything they need for their homes or themselves they easily procure (like a brand-new car every two years). They have none of my desperation when it comes to having to, say, order (and be able to afford) new eyeglasses for myself (since mine are falling apart and my complicated-expensive prescription has changed again [I require specialized crafting with the lenses]); or when we have to, for example, call a plumber (horrors, the cost!) or consider how to pay for some other vital service or a car repair (or, in my case, a critical medicine I can’t be without). I’m pretty boring and un-fun to them; dull; I know I am; understood!
Do I feel a little sorry for myself when talking to ‘my peeps’? Sure. But it’s more than that; I feel I have increasingly no patience when talking to a friend who’s biggest dilemma of the day is her difficulty in securing expensive tickets and parking for a musical at the Pantages theater in L.A. which doesn’t even happen until next September; or that she missed her pickleball session for the day because the little designer-dog was too late at the groomer’s shop. Or that the window-washer for her expansive home rescheduled their appointment. She goes to a ‘private’, specialized senior-women’s exercise class and each time drops $25 for it, and she’s doing it four times a week, so she’s spending upwards of $400-$500/month for this one-particular thing alone although I think it’s good she’s getting in the regular, aerobic exercise when she could be choosing to sit on her behind (in her 70s).
(Even my sister-in-law, age 73, has a personal trainer who comes to her house; regularly. For another friend of mine, age 76, it’s a masseuse who’s nearly on the home payroll, so to speak. [My friend’s neck is bothersome to her. She recently bought a massage table for the masseuse to support these bi-weekly sessions. That way, it’s just permanently there, set up all the time in my friend’s ‘exercise room’ {a home gym}.])
Of course it sounds like I’m making a lot of generalizations; it’s just the ‘norm’ among my particular grouping of peeps, rather unusual or maybe not! I’ve known these people a long time; I had no way of knowing when we were all so much younger that I was cultivating friends who’d have eventual, significant wealth; or that I had uncles and aunts who’d be leaving so much money to my cousins (who’d ever think about such things in other years; nobody!). But they regularly go to breakfast, brunch, lunch, Happy Hour and dinner with many friends. They really do have a ball! Because what they have are amazing, trouble-free, money-full, well-rounded and balanced, senior-aged lives, absolutely zero financial concerns or serious health worries (for now, thank God), so how can you not be happy for those so lucky?
But my life is exactly opposite, such that often the only thing remaining between us are shared pasts or mutual acquaintances or family connections (certainly nothing we have in common in the present otherwise). And I guess that’s okay; we need all kinds of friends and relationships.
However, I just can’t ‘relate’ much anymore. I think it’s more than jealousy (which I fight hard to curb). But I do figure it’s my problem, a personal problem, not their problem, and that it’s something I have to keep working on so as to not leave myself feeling inadequate or in any kind of self-pity or negative self-judgment. What I’ve realized is that I’m living with a lot of fear and insecurity at this older age due to my own life’s circumstances of challenging finances and not-robust health, and this leaves me unsettled and anxious in my older years. And that’s something these other people who happen to be in my life simply canNOT relate to (and they’d rather not hear about it from me, my own struggles, so I try not to add much about it like I did yesterday with one of my friends when I let my woes get the best of me; don’t rain on their parade; again, understandable; they want to be happy and are making the best of the last chapter]); they’ve been able, due to good fortune and good planning (and maybe also in some cases were indeed hard workers and good savers to boot), to eliminate that type of uncertainty for themselves.
So, what d’ya do if me (or someone like me)? Quit thinking about everybody else, instead work on myself; just keep plugging away at Life, try not to make mistakes with money, learn again how to finetune a budget, accept frugality, lean on God for strength and develop more courage; be grateful for what I have, live well with ‘smaller’; and it’s not all bad. SoCalif is again overcast and gray even here on Thurs approaching 2pm PST, but I bet the sun will come out by 4pm and it’ll probably be a lovely evening to savor with a nice westerly breeze off the ocean. (And we planted a teeny agapanthus from a nursery sale last year and it’s about to bloom in a bare spot of the yard we’d had, so I can’t wait to see its purple burst; soon[!!]; maybe tomorrow!)
xoxo