1. Do not leave your cell phone on during a performance. (The woman across the aisle from me received two calls during the show.)
2. Do not put your phone on vibrate. Your fellow audience members can hear that sound. So can the actors. (A man to my left had a vibrating phone. Thankfully, he left at intermission.)
3. Do not text or check your phone for new emails, texts, etc. during a performance. That blue glow is clearly visible. Besides, it’s rude. You’re either present or you’re not. If your phone is more important, leave.
4. SHUT IT OFF.
5. Do not bring your laptop to the theater and continue to work on it until the lights have gone down, then close it and lay your head on it because you’re bored. Is your work that important? Are you the President? (Again, it happened last night.)
6. Do not unwrap throat lozenges or candies during the show. I can assure you, after years of working in theater both onstage and off, we can hear that sound. It’s annoying. If you think you’re going to need a cough drop, unwrap it ahead of time.
7. And my biggest pet peeve: The performers onstage have worked long and hard to entertain you. You have been given the gift of a live performance. That particular performance will never happen again. It’s something you’ve shared for a moment in time with the actors on stage. When the actors come out for a curtain call, please do not miss it because you have already left your seat so you can be the first person out to the parking lot. Really? You’re not going to acknowledge those actors, show them that you appreciate their work, their talent? You’ve managed to stay in the theater through the end of the show and you can’t wait for the 3 minutes more it will take to clap your hands? If I’m an actor onstage, I can see you leaving. It’s disheartening. If I’m in the audience and you’re up and on your way out, thereby blocking my view of the stage, I’m going to be pissed off. The other night, a woman got up, I could see it coming, and I shouted out (under cover of applause) “Applaud!” I don’t think she knew who said it, but she stopped – for a moment – and applauded.
Think twice before you do that. By not remaining to applaud the actors, you’ve not taken part in the whole experience. And you’ve been rude to the actors, or musicians, or performers. It’s not right.
End of memo.
———————————————————-
On another note. You know those moments when you have a doubt or misgiving about what you wrote in a post? I had that last night. I have a quirky sense of humor and it has kept me sane over the years. My dad is a wonderful guy who is going through his own particular hell right now. He does the best he can in the face of tremendous heartbreak. I love him dearly and do everything I can to help him through this. Since I am far away, I call him every day. We talk a lot. Lately, he’s been haunted by World War II. He’s been having nightmares. So we’ve been talking about the war. He’s also been sharing memories of his childhood. I remember that my grandmother did the same thing. As she neared the end of her life, she needed to talk about things that had happened long ago.
I know my dad’s situation is sad. Many of you remarked on that. It’s more than sad, it’s depressing, it’s heartbreaking, it’s never out of my mind. Nor is my mother’s. In the face of all of that, along with a host of other worries, like how do I pay the bills next month, I have to find any glimmer of humor that I can. So does my sister. Our sense of humor has carried us through a lot of heartbreak.
Anyway, if you read this blog regularly, you’ve witnessed my sense of the absurd many times. I hope you didn’t take what I wrote in the wrong way. (I get worried about things like this.) I’m actually rather proud of my sense of humor. My husband is the funniest person I know (a sense of humor was my most important requirement in a husband) and I can make him laugh. Can’t help it – I go for funny. It’s in my DNA.
Oh, and when I spoke of Drumsticks yesterday, I meant the ice cream cones.
Thanks for listening.
Happy Thursday.
If I could not laugh through the worst of times I would have been locked away years ago.. My close friends and I have had those moments of such sadness and tears only to start a giggle that makes us all laugh till we are snorting and choking only to end up quietly weeping again…It’s human, it’s necessary, it’s healthy…
and I agree SO wholeheartedly about those peeves!!!! The world is overrun with selfish, stupid folks it seems. To remind them of their rudeness, ( which I politely do at times) seems to make no difference..you get a shrug and a so what? Too bad we cannot legislate parenting, manners, and kindness…. :D
xxx
z
Your list should be nailed to the front of every building where people gather – from business meetings and classrooms to Carnegie Hall. I would only add “Arrive 10 to 15 minutes ahead of time. Get comfortable in your seat and stay there. Take it all in. Just sit and enjoy everthing about this moment.” I am amazed by all the folks who don’t realize ‘NOW IS THE BEST TIME.’ It’s all you have, it will never happen like this again. Enjoy it.
everything
I also have a great sense of humor, am witty and funny. It runs in the family, sugar!
Also, when addressing a woman on stage, it’s brava instead of bravo! That’s important also. The bows they take are for the audience, thanking the audience for loving the show.
xoxo,
Connie
Yes to all of your comments. It has to be hard seeing all that happen. Maybe in their program they should have the rules……I know they won’t do that.
I do feel bad for your Dad. World War 1 and 2 must have been terrible. Well, all the wars are but those I knew in those wars…..our fathers…..chose to bottle up the memories. It is hard to be far away from them at this time. It is so good that you can talk to him on the phone.
Oh I love the drumsticks as well. So yummy and nothing quite like them. ((HUGS))
Great post– your theater etiquette requests were so well stated. Bravo! (Or brava?!)
Anyway… Regarding humor: It is vital to coping with things in life. I totally get it. I did not sense anything inappropriate in your post at all. Also, I love that you are letting your dad talk about his life. I do that a lot with my patients. I think they really need that. I think it helps them feel validated, in some way. My favorite thing to ask my patients is how they met their sweetheart… their stories are so sweet!
Hugs,
Jill
I couldn’t agree more. “The audience” doesn’t know how to behave anymore.
Where and how would we be without humor? It keeps you going when things turn really bad. However, there are people who are not humorous AT ALL. Fortunatelly, they don’t know what they are missing. ;-)
Humor is an interesting topic. I’ve noticed that people from different countries have a different sense of humor. You can be misunderstood and of course the other way round.
I love your sense of humor.
Humor is what sometimes saves us, I believe that.
And.. I cannot believe the RUDENESS you experience in theatre, wow. I mean, that’s common sense!…
However, I have to tell you.. and this is sort of embarassing.. I had no idea that the unwrapping of a throat lozenge could be heard in that capacity. I think I’ve done that myself. Won’t do it again.
We have been lifelong theatre goers. Lately, even at the awesome community theatre we attend, we notice more and more phone use (yet to see a laptop though, thank God) in the audience. It’s so very annoying and totally rude, especially the texting! Surely they can see that we see what’s going on in their laps! If they have to check with the babysitter they should sit on aisle seats and get up quietly and go into the lobby or outside.
Speaking of seating – this past season we changed after 30 years in the same seats which were in the center of the row. We now have the two seats, slightly angled on the side wall and like them, and no longer have people climbing over us when they come in late or decide to get up and leave. Have to admit we do occasionally leave early if not really enjoying the content, but only at intermission, never during the performance – that does’t happen often because we see wonderful amateur theatre here.
Another annoyance is the dress of theatre goers these days. I know life is more casual but please get out of those ripped jeans and scuzzy shirts – they are not fun to have next to ones nicer evening outfits. Some people look like they just came directly from a day working on the back forty (acres) and didn’t leave time for change into something neat and clean! Of course they are the same people one sees in nice restaurants – who never make the effort to get into something a little more dressy to enjoy a true ‘evening out’. It’s fun to dress up now and then!!!
Enough said – and I’m thinking of you dear one.
Mary X
I love your sense of humour Claudia. It is much better to have one than not. If you cannot look at the humourous side of things life could get pretty dull and a little too real.
I was telling my husband yesterday about you call with Don and the alarm and we laughed so hard. I love your stories about the two of you singing and laughing and joking. It is called Life.
Good luck with the play,
Sue
I agree 100%!! Actors and any performer work really hard and if you are there you should be all there for the performance! Applaud! I love your sense of humor and agree that laughter is so necessary to our mental health! Hugs, Linda
Yes, sometimes a sense of humor can be misinterpreted..But that’s usually by one who has no sense of humor…I suspect that we have the same “sense of the absurd”
Yes, sometimes a sense of humor can be misinterpreted..But that’s usually by one who has no sense of humor…I suspect that we have the same “sense of the absurd”
Glad you remembered and just shared about your Grandma reviewing her life memories. It doesn’t make it easier for your Dad but it does help with understanding of what he is going through at this sad time for all of you. Listening. Loving. Sharing.
Thank you for today’s post, it really touched me.
PS – great post on theatre behaviours too.
Totally agree on both topics.
I wish you all the best, Rosanna
Great memo, seems no matter how many times it is repeated some people still don’t get it.
I know you will know what a big deal this is – baby boy’s bride got her Equity card yesterday!
Hope both your dad and Don are doing better today. Sometimes ya just gotta laugh ’cause it is better than crying.
I have worked in local theater off and on over the years. You have nailed the sense of frustration I feel right on the head. It is amazing to me that there are such dunderheads out there.
As for your Dad, I do understand. I, too, have that quirky, off-beat sense of humor. I have laughed many times instead of crying…it is how I deal with things.
Blessings to you- xo Diana
First of all, I’m glad you wrote what you did about appreciating a live performance. There is nothing like it. When I see a play or anything like that, I’m on cloud 9 for a few days later. Yes, it is RUDE to get up and leave, as well as all those other things you mentioned.
As for your sense of humor, people with a sense of humor are often misunderstood. I know. It happens a lot. I think that sometimes because we don’t shout ‘HA HA’ after we’ve said something we mean to be humorous, people [who wouldn’t know humor if it came up and bite them] just don’t get it.
Humor is very important to me. My husband and I make each other laugh a lot, and it is a real gift to be able to see the funny side of life, even in some dark circumstances.
There are a couple stories I’ve told about my dad who, as he aged, had a bit of dementia. They are genuinely funny stories, and even my dad would have loved them and laughed at them. After all, it was from him that I got my sense of humor. :-)
I’ve experienced all those things you mentioned in your “memo”, Claudia, both as a member of the audience and onstage, and it’s annoying in the extreme, not to mention insulting to the performers. Abd as some of us become more and more dependent on technology, the annoyances seem to have increased and become more surreal. (I watched a girl *videotape* her seat mate during a concert the other evening…. seriously. I neary reached over and ripped the hairs out of her head but I knew that would make too much noise.)
Well said, Claudia. Your memo is wonderful.
There are many places where people could leave their phones at home. It has went beyond rude and in a theater!
I don’t believe you wrote anything wrong, I enjoyed the post.
Very well-written post Claudia. I love going to live theater and stay right until the very end with the exception of going to see Cats. Hubby and I couldnt’t stand another minute so we quietely left (we were in the upper balcony so I don’t think anyone was bothered) Phones and laptops in the theater, please that is so rude. About your previous post…no worries laughter is a gift that keeps us from either going mad or sinking into the deepest darkest depression. Thanks for clarifying the drumsticks, I love that kind of ice cream cone. My father was haunted by what he experienced in world war II as well. I can’t imagine what it must be like to experience war and hope I never have to personally witness the horrible things that war brings.
Hi Claudia,
I have been catching up on your posts this week and do not know where to start. The audience thing…I get it and you said it so well. As far as your dad, you know I am in a similar situation with my mom needing calming, encouraging and reassurance. My dad also felt the need to tell us stories about his time in Korea in the weeks before his passing. I suppose he had held in the atrocities of war to protect us but he needed to get it off his chest. He felt tremendous guilt…I will be praying for your family and for your finances as you return to Mockingbird Hill. btw…it’s good to know the fire department responded so timely. ;-) Patty