Could you find a more 50s setting? The television, the floral curtains, the toys? My brother and I at my grandparents’ house on Christmas afternoon.
I miss him. I miss my parents. I miss my dogs. I miss my relatives and my friends who have passed away.
Christmas is beautiful and bittersweet. The older you get, the more losses you mourn.
If you’re having a hard time this Christmas, know that you are loved and supported here on this blog. If you need to talk about it, you have a safe space here. Be gentle with yourself and your grief. If you’re dealing with illness, be still, and know you are surrounded with love and healing.
I hope you find moments of joy and laughter this Christmas. I hope you find moments of peace, as well.
Don and I hold you in our hearts.
I am so thankful for your presence here and for your friendship.
There’s no snow on the ground this year, but the sentiment remains constant (as well as the the Christmas lights on the porch):
I’m taking the day off tomorrow, my friends.
Happy Tuesday and Merry Christmas Eve.
Merry Christmas to you and your lovely husband. Your blog is one of my favorites, of course. I found Louise Penny on this blog. Hours of entertainment with her book.
Have a good good couple of days and enjoy the quietness of this awesome time. We all have times when we grieve-today would have been my sweet Mother’s 88th birthday; she died at age 60…I miss her daily. She was a young young mother…and we adored each other.
Your blog will resonate with many today; i am blessed to have family.
Happy Birthday to your mother, Brenda. No matter how long our loved ones have been gone, we wish them a Happy Birthday.
Merry Christmas.
Thank you for being so sweet and kind and loving. Your friendship means so much to me. I’ve been a bit lost this year but I know some changes in 2020 will help me find my way again. Merry Christmas to you and Don. Much Love, Linda
You will emerge stronger than ever, my friend. My love to you and your family this Christmas and always. xo
Merry Christmas to you and Don, Claudia. I will enjoy moments with family and focus on the sweet blessings in my life. You often give me food for thought with your inspiring words. Thanks so much for your blog!
You’re most welcome! Have a wonderful holiday, Ellen.
to you and yours … all wishes for a wonderful holiday filled with memories of those you love- best of everything to you …
Barb
Merry Christmas to you and yours, Barb!
Thank you for such a loving, generous and warm post, Claudia. I wish you and Don a cozy Christmas Eve and a really-nice time tomorrow for the special day! Also a Happy Holiday to your family of readers.
Are you making cloud biscuits?
No, I don’t think so. Don has a meal plan in mind!
Merry Christmas to you and your husband, Vicki!
Merry, Merry Christmas to you and Don; this is a hard one for me as this is the 1st Christmas that BOTH my parents are gone (Daddy on 8/29/2018 and Ma on 11/7/2019 ) – it is a strange feeling to think I am actually an orphan now, at 62 years old. I was blessed to have both my parents these past years; Daddy was 90 when he passed last year and Ma had just passed her 84th this year when she passed 1 month after her birthday. But it really hit me when I realized that I didn’t have any presents to buy my parents this year – last year hurt but I still had Ma. But what has really tore me up today was getting 2 HUGE boxes from my sister in Savannah and 95% of it my mother had labeled the gift tags from her to me ! My sister wrote a note stating the last 2 weeks my mom lived, she had my sister running all over & on the ‘net, getting Xmas gifts for me, my sis, my brother and their families before she passed so she could sign on the gift tags and so that she could tell my sis what to get everybody, etc. I will cherish the gift tags almost as much as the fact that while my mom lay dying, she wanted to give her family a last Christmas from her. I was very close to my Dad and always was, and my Ma and I had our issues through the years, but I loved them both very much and always will. And will miss them every day of this life I have left. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and God bless you.
Oh Dawn…my heart aches for you. I do not have the words to console, but I do know what you are going through. Take time this season, to remember and cherish, and yes…hang on to those gift tags. Merry Christmas! ;)
I, too, am so sorry for your losses. What your Mom did those last days is truly quite amazing! I lost my Dad on Christmas Day of 1999, making this season forever so bittersweet. Having memories keeps them close. ♡
to chris k in wisconsin …
i am sorry for your loss, chris. “bittersweet” is the right word, isn’t it? :( i pray you have only sweetness and nothing bitter always.
kathy in iowa
Dawn,
I’m sure tomorrow will be full of tears, but I hope it is also full of smiles and joy.
Oh my, what a moving story, Dawn! Your mom wanted you to feel her presence on Christmas. What a priceless gift! Thinking of you. My mom died 5 years ago and my dad died 18 months later. I was suddenly an orphan and, because my brother – who was the eldest child – died so many years ago, the sort-of-matriarch. It’s overwhelming. I understand. I know this will be a bittersweet Christmas for you. We’re all with you as you face this first Christmas without your Mom. Much love. xo
This is so poignant. Made me cry to read your comment.
I understand ‘orphan’. I don’t have kids or grandkids. I don’t have parents or aunts or uncles or nieces or nephews; no brothers or sisters. I have a handful of distant cousins, most of whom live nowhere near me; although, thankfully, a couple of us are in touch via email.
But I’m lucky to have my husband and my dog. Also, some beautiful connections at Christmas this year, detailed below:
I had become somewhat estranged (for ten years) with a long-time friend from the 1970s due to a misunderstanding and, well, just the things people go through when friends are family. But we both approached each other this December, exchanged really honest-loving letters with one another and I’m actually now going to see my former best friend in January for lunch. She’s had a rough year. Her mother died (on the friend’s birthday) earlier in the year.
Then, at the cemetery a few days ago, when placing flowers on the graves of multiple, deceased loved ones, a man working on a grave adjacent, clippers and water can in hand, struck up a conversation with us and, long story short, he knew my cousin for whom I’d just placed the flowers. He said she’d always been kind and friendly to him in high school (1960s), same graduating class, and he never forgot it. Had a crush on her but never approached her; said he was too shy as a teen. Turns out, he only comes to our town once a year to visit his parents’ graves, as he was doing at that very minute; so it was one of those things where you’re momentarily sharing something, in the right place at the right time, with a total stranger which turned out to be a really-perfect conversation on a beautiful, sun-filled afternoon underneath the trees in a peaceful place, resulting in heartfelt hugs all around. I shared his conversation with my cousin’s daughter, who’s missing her mom whose death date is in January, such that Christmas without our mothers is never easy.
Deepest sympathy on this very recent loss for you. Those tags are pure love.
to dawn pinnataro …
i won’t have the right words (and i know words aren’t enough), but know there are people praying for you. i am one of them and i wish you peace.
here’s to better days ahead.
kathy in iowa
Claudia,
May Don and yourself have a wonderful Christmas. You are an inspiration with your words.
Marion
Thank you, Marion. Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Merry Christmas Claudia and Don from Central Florida. I miss my loved ones at Christmas too. I totally understand your feelings. I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow. Thank you for sharing so much of your life with us. The pictures of your trip were so awesome. Hope you have many more wonderful adventures in the coming year. You are so loved and appreciated by your readers. Merry, Merry Christmas🎄.
Merry Christmas to you and yours, Janie! xo
Merry Christmas to you! I hope you have a happy, relaxing day tomorrow.
As an early birthday gift, my daughter took me into the city last night to see a new adaption of A Christmas Carol. After an incident earlier this fall with a violent homeless man that left me bruised physically and mentally, the play reinforced for me the need for forgiveness and second chances.
Merry Christmas Claudia and Don! Thank you for such lovely words. I am missing my hubby something fierce this holiday. I don’t always comment on your blog but I do read it very day. It is something I look forward to each morning. Thanks for sharing your life journey with us. Merry Christmas! April xo
to april baldwin …
may you have peace and some fun/relaxing things to do at this bittersweet time of year … and every day.
merry Christmas and hope the year ahead will be brighter for you.
kathy in iowa
Thank you, Kathy. Merry Christmas to you too! April
Wrapping my arms around you, April, as you feel your husband’s absence. Though, I’m sure his spirit is with you on Christmas and every day. Merry Christmas, dear April.
to barbara w. …
wow … sorry you went through something so awful. i hope you have peace and comfort … and a merry Christmas and new year.
kathy in iowa
Oops! Should be “adaptation”. Clearly my ability to spell deserts me when I have a day off.
Kathy, thank you for your kind words.
My bruises and fear are under control, but I had support at every turn. It took four police officers to subdue the man as apparently he is known to them to be dangerous when high. Now I feel an enormous sense of guilt that I compounded this man’s existing problems simply by being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I wish you and everyone peace and joy this season.
to barbara w …
four police officers? oh, my … thanking God right now that they were there and able to help you!
glad you’ve had support in other ways, too.
i wasn’t there (duh), but even so, i know without a shadow of a doubt that you did nothing to add to that man’s problems … hope you will know that, too. i pray that horrible incident led to him getting help, too.
merry Christmas and a happy, healthy, safe new year to you and your family, too!
kathy in iowa
I’m so sorry you went through that experience, Barbara. I understand the power of A Christmas Carol. The message it sends is eternal and powerful. We were just talking about that this morning. Thinking about you this Christmas. I hope you are well and feeling stronger. Forgiveness is a gift to ourselves. Much love.
That’s a great picture that brought some great memories to mind for you…and some for me, too. Thank you for that.
I hope you and Don have a wonderful Christmas holiday, filled with love, memories, and twinkle lights. Merry Christmas!! ;)
The same to you, Donna. Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Happy Christmas Claudia and Don and may 2020 bring peace of mind, love galore, good health and much laughter to us all.
Amen! Merry Christmas to you and yours, Lea!
Wishing you and yours a beautiful Christmas and the best of the new year! I have always enjoyed your blog daily for years. Always inspiring!
Thank you, Marcy Ray! Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Claudia, we hold you and Don in our hearts as well. Thanks to both of you for sharing your lives with us in this special blog. A Very Merry Christmas to you both and to Little Z and family!
Melanie M
Merry Christmas to you and yours, Melanie! Thank you.
Joyeux Noël !
Merci, Cara! Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Merry Christmas, Claudia and Don.
Merry Christmas to you and your family, Wendy!
I think I have a picture with the exact same background from my childhood, too!!! The television, the icicles on the tree, and the floral drapes!! Just different kids in the same setting!!
I was blessed the day I found your blog. I think it was when you did the lampshade with the doilies, maybe?? Many years ago!! It has been so great getting to know you and so many of your other readers and commenters as well. I look forward to coffee with you, and them, every day!!
Enjoy your day off tomorrow! I hope you & Don have a day overflowing with peace and joy. ❤️
Thank you so much, Chris. Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Merry Christmas to Claudia, Don and all your readers! It’s already dark in England. Just getting a bit nostalgic when I think back to my childhood Christmas Eves. My Dad who wasn’t a gambler used to finish work in the papermill at lunchtime on Christmas Eve then play cards with his workmates. He would cycle home at six, slightly worse for wear and tell my brother and I that we could have the contents of his pockets. Sometimes he had won a fair amount of money and my Mother would be furious with him as she had so much to do for the next day. He would then go to bed to sleep it off.
Money was always tight and one Christmas Eve in the sixties, he shouted at the door to my Mother “Winnie, I’ve won a bird!”. She was hoping for a turkey instead of the chicken we were having next day, when in he walked with a budgerigar in a cage!
My brother and I loved that budgie, we named him Jed Clampett after our favourite TV show.
(Sorry to mention turkey, when you’re vegetarian)
Happy Christmas 😀
DeeDee,
I can’t speak for Claudia, but I’m vegan and I loved that budgie story! It made me laugh!
That story about your dad is priceless, Dee Dee! No worries about mentioning turkey – I ate turkey for many years! I remember many tipsy relatives on Christmas Eve, as well.
Thanks so much for sharing this with us. Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Lovely story, thank you for sharing it. I hope your Christmas is everything you want it to be.
hi, claudia.
i don’t recall how i found your blog a few years ago and am therefore sorry that i don’t know who to thank for helping make that connection … but i am grateful to have made my way to mockingbird hill cottage with all your beautiful photos and words that are inspiring, thought-provoking, relatable and kind. thanks for all that you share.
merry Christmas to you and don, the rest of your families and to everyone who reads your blog/instagram accounts. may you all enjoy lots of time with loved ones, have plenty of good food and other needs met, too, along with a nice place to call home and easy weather. especially at this often-bittersweet time of year, may you all have peace.
kathy in iowa
Have a wonderful time with your family, Kathy. Thank you for your kind words. Merry Christmas!
No snow here, either! It’s supposed to be 72 tomorrow. We’ve got all the windows open today. Merry Christmas to you and Don! You contribute so much to the lives of so many. Tomorrow is my 70th birthday. As is common with those of us with Christmas birthdays, especially those of us who are the matriarchs of our extended families, somehow I ended up hosting Christmas for everyone else. One daughter is at least bringing a birthday cake, though!
Happy Birthday tomorrow, Linda! (I’m glad you’re getting a birthday cake!) It’s tricky when your birthday is on Christmas. Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Happy 70th Birthday, Linda! (Hope you receive double the presents!). Thank you for liking the anecdote about my Dad. He was a funny guy.
Dee Dee x
to linda piazza …
happy, happy birthday (tomorrow) to you! may it be the start of your best year yet.
merry Christmas, too.
kathy in iowa
Yes, it is bittersweet! Merry Christmas to you and Don.
Merry Christmas to you and yours, Judy!
Once again, I say Thank you ,Claudia for your blog that has found its way to me and I can’t remember how! Warmest wishes to you and Don and to all your followers. It is a thoughtful community and I feel we are a small town gathering for a gab fest across the miles. xo
We are! Isn’t it wonderful?
Merry Christmas to you and yours, Annette!
Claudia and Don: Merry Christmas from your friend you’ve never met! Chris
Merry Christmas to you and yours, Chris!
Thanks for the encouraging words during this “bittersweet” time. Yes Christmas does seem to be the time to mourn my losses more than other times of the year.
I do appreciate my many blessings though and try to enjoy the holidays.
I am grateful for our parents friendship. Your family was such an influence on my childhood.
Have a very Merry Christmas!
As was yours. I treasure the memories of growing up just a block apart. Your family was my second family. Much love to you, Kay. Merry Christmas to you and Vassar!
What lovely sentiments you’ve expressed! As always, you touch the heart Claudia. May you and Don have a wonderful holiday. I hope you get to enjoy Little Z, your sister and everyone (animal or human) who is special to you. Many blessings too for the coming year.
Thank you, Melissa. Merry Christmas to you and yours!
A Merry Christmas to you and Don—and to all of the sweet souls you’ve brought together at Mockingbird Hill Cottage. Your vintage photo brings back all sorts of fifties-childhood memories for me, too. It was a great time, back when the world was black and white. We’ll be toasting many, many loved ones this holiday and know that we are blessed to have had them for however short their time here was. Peace and love from down South.
Peace and love to you and Fred, Shanna. Merry Christmas!
Claudia, a lovely blog, as always. Happy, happy holidays to you & Don. We’re SO incredibly fortunate, as we have a new baby (a month old!). It helps replace the ill ones & the passed on ones in our family. Nothing like new life!
Looking forward to another fun year of reading your blogs.
Enjoy,
Priscilla from OB!
Enjoy that precious new baby, Priscilla! Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Hi Claudia, I’ve never commented before, but have read and enjoyed you for years. I’m originally from New Paltz. Thank you for your sentiments today. Truly appreciated from a like minded soul. Merry Christmas to you and Don. From Dena
We live just about 9 miles south of New Paltz, Dena! Thank you for your kind words. Merry Christmas!
So true, many people I miss at this time of year. It makes me a little sad, but I try to appreciate how lucky I am to have had them in my life and keep them in my memories. Merry Christmas to you and Don!
That’s the best way to remember them, Lynda. Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Merry Christmas Claudia and Don. May you be richly blessed in the New Year. Peace and love to you both.
Merry Christmas to you and yours, Denise!
Merry Christmas Claudia,
Thank you for your kind words and heartfelt wishes. I hope your Christmas day and New Year will be filled with love and kindness. You have given so much comfort through your writing. I want you to be comforted by the joy and happiness your readers are sending to you. You have built a community of like minded people who appreciate you (as I do).
I thank you, Miche. I am deeply comforted by all of you. Bless you. Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Thank you, Miche . I’m glad you enjoyed hearing about my Dad. He was hilarious!
Happy Christmas
Dee Dee x
Thank you for this beautiful post Claudia
I hope you and Don have a magical Christmas
Your blog sustains and nourishes me in these challenging times
Siobhan x
Oh, thank you. That means a lot to me, Siobhan. Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Merry Christmas. Thank you for your beautiful blog
You’re most welcome, Dianne. Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Merry Christmas to you and your husband. I look forward each day to your posts. It’s like having another dear friend. This year has been more losses of friends and relatives than ever in my 73 years. The hardest has been my daughter in law at 48 years old. My granddaughters 20 and 14 have been so sad as is my son. I try to be strong for them but in my own place and time I miss her more than words can say. She was my best friend and the person I counted on to be here for me through everything. Only we who have lost so many can know the heart ache each day but especially when holidays are here. I look forward to more of your posts in the New Year, I can always count on you making me smile even through my sorrow. <3
I am so very sorry to hear of your loss, Barbara. I can’t imagine how painful it has been for you and your son and grandchildren. May you find comfort in each other this Christmas. Having lost my brother at the age of 44, I know how hard it is to comprehend someone dying so young. My parents never got over it. Sending you and your family love and hugs this Christmas. xoxo
I would like to wish you and Don a very Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year! May 2020 bring you both much joy and happiness.
xoxoxo
Thank you, Cathy. Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Merry Christmas Claudia and Don. It is a bittersweet time with so many memories. I hope you have a peaceful day. X
Thank you, Fiona. I hope your day is blessed. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Merry Christmas to you and Don! Thank you for the gift of your wonderful blog. I’ve been reading your blog everyday now for years, and at this point I feel like you and Don are dear friends.
Christmas definitely is bittersweet. I’ve lost many that I love dearly, along with beloved pets. Being diagnosed with a rare neurological disease a couple years ago that has put me in a wheelchair has been beyond difficult as well. But I have an amazing loving husband and daughters that take good care of me, and my dear little rescue Pug by my side, so I am very thankful!
Claudia, may you and Don have a wonderful day together tomorrow.
I simply can’t imagine how difficult this transition has been for you, Lily. Thank goodness you have a loving and supportive family surrounding you. I’m thankful for you, Lily. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Claudia I wish for you and Don nothing but love, peace .good health and happiness this Christmas and in 2020. Your blog is always a pleasure and comforting.
Marilyn
Merry Christmas, Marilyn – you and your sisters and all of your loved ones!
Beautiful words Claudia. Merry Christmas to you and Don, I hope you have a lovely day.
Thank you, Jan. Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Merry Christmas Claudia and Don! Thank you for sharing your life, your insights, and your unique and unapologetic outlook with us. May 2020 be a splendid year for us all!
Merry Christmas to you and yours, Andrea!
It’s been a hard 23 months for me, losing my Husband, my dog, and my Dad. Last night was particularly hard and lonely. But today is another day. I will be with my children, my grandchild, my brother and his family, and my Mom. Merry Christmas to you and your hubby. May you enjoy good health and prosperity in the new year and thank you for your dedication to this blog. You bring so much joy to all of us.
I’m so sorry, Sandy. Such painful losses, such heartbreak. We’re all sending love and support. I am glad you will be surrounded by your family on Christmas. Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Dear Claudia
In this special day I want to wish both of you a Merry Christmas full of joy and peace !
Ps:Love your photograph you really were a beautifull baby girl!
Thank you, Alicia! Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Dear Claudia,
Your post was beautiful as always. Love the photo too!
After an incredibly difficult year, I started to wonder if there were more of us ‘on the other side’ than left among us……then I looked around and re-realized the love I have for those of us still here, starting with my amazing spouse & two beautiful sweet children. I definitely feel the pain of loss, especially at the holidays, absolutely, but it seems to define the tangible circle of life which we all share. I have learned that my heart can be heavy and full at the same time.
Wishing you and your family- and all fellow readers- much peace and happiness in the year to come.
Xo
Perfectly said. “My heart can be heavy and full at the same time.” So true. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Merry Christmas to you and your Don (I have a Don as well!) We had our three grown kids (one in from S.F.) and 3 young grands over yesterday and spent the past 3 wonderful days together but it was over in a blink of an eye. I too am getting very nostalgic and emotional this time of year for the loss of my brother, my beloved parents, all my beloved pets, all those I’ve loved. I should be so HAPPY with what I do have and I am, but the older I get, the harder it becomes without them. I make cannolis for Christmas with my darling Italian grandma’s recipe. Last night as I bit into one I started to cry and said I feel like I’m in my grandma’s arms. I pray for everyone who has no one in their lives, those in pain, physical and emotional. I know I am blessed. I love reading your blog and seeing your photos Claudia. Take care.
Thank you Penny. I think we feel our losses more deeply as time goes by, especially at Christmas. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Merry Christmas and Peace to one and all! 2019 was filled with change for so many. I’m counting my blessings and trying some new experiences this Christmas Day.
Good for you, Roxie! Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Merry Christmas, Claudia and Don. It’s a beautiful, sunny, warm day here in northwest IL (almost 60 degrees!). Brian and I opened a few presents, ate way too much breakfast casserole, and are now going for a walk.
It’s just a strange day in general….the weather, and not having Tim here for the first time on Christmas day in his entire life. I’m missing him very much and it doesn’t help that he’s admitted he’s very homesick right now. Of course, I also greatly miss Philip. Our 11th Christmas without him.
I am blessed to have you as a friend. Thank you for such a beautiful post.
xoxo
Melanie
I know you must miss Tim, this first Christmas when he is living so far away. It’s hard to be without both of your sons this Christmas. I hope you and Brian were able to find some peace and joy. Much love.
Thank-you Claudia, all the sentimental and tender feelings can really come up …may you ,Don and all of you feel a blessed Christmastime ♡
Merry Christmas to you and yours, Grace!
Claudia this Christmas was very difficult, was the first without my mother she was in April, I spent the Christmas night on duty at the hospital because I am a first aid secretary for 35 years and for the first time did not regret being the night shift natal.I’m the oldest daughter and always have to be strong and this is sometimes very difficult.I don’t know if you’ll understand the translation but still thanks for listening to me.
I do understand the translation, Edis. Thinking of you as you face the first Christmas without your mother. I’m the oldest daughter, too. I understand. Sending love and support to you, Edis. Merry Christmas!
Beautiful in every way, Claudia. (I could have lived in that house — maybe I did!)
When I wrote my post about grieving over the holidays, it was just for thoughts like that that. They come into our minds, sometimes invited, sometimes not. Sometimes it feels like they bring with them warm, fuzzy blankets and soft Christmas cookies and hugs and sometimes it feels as though those thoughts beat us down unmercifully. And maybe a mix between the two. Those of us who have lost those we love know. And care.
Thank you Jeanie. Beautifully said. Merry Christmas to you and yours!