• It’s been three weeks today since we lost our girl.
We still can’t believe that this magical being is no longer here with us on Earth.
We cry most days. We are still, and always will be, in mourning. It’s been an incredibly hard time for us. We work hard to stay positive and to find laughter as often as possible. (Thank goodness for Frasier on Netflix.) I even made a funny face yesterday that made Don laugh.
And my back, though slowly getting better, is still quite painful and I’m babying it all day long. Muscle spasms aren’t fun.
• It’s also exactly four months since my father passed away. And it’s raining today. Appropriate. Too much loss.
• I only made it through about half of the Oscars. I was tired and I was pretty sure the predicted Best Actor and Actress winners would be who they ultimately were. I haven’t seen any of the films yet. Lady Gaga’s performance was incredibly moving. I’m not sure why that song didn’t win…but I’ve given up trying to predict these things.
• I’ve been reacquainting myself with Hummingbird Cottage. I see it from my blogging chair, but the inside is usually facing toward the wall. It’s awfully nice and Caroline is a lucky woman. I took the opportunity to take some pictures when she was ‘away’ from the house.
Flowers are blooming in the world of Hummingbird Cottage. If only they were blooming here at Mockingbird Hill Cottage!
• Speaking of miniatures, you must visit Marian Russek’s blog and also watch her YouTube Video on her completed Shipping Container House. She builds and designs her houses and her work is incredible. While you’re at the blog, take a look at her other creations. They are so lifelike, so detailed, you’ll forget they are miniatures.
Happy Monday.
Hi Claudia,
Just love Hummingbird cottage. Those hanging flowers, what a nice touch. And love the white iron bed with pink quilt and pillows. So much detail throughout the whole house.
I wonder, when you are up to it and going through Scout’s photos, if you could post one of her as a puppy? She was such a beautiful lady, that I’ll bet she was a doll as a puppy.
I have kept a lot of her photos on my iPad, as I feel as if I know her and love her.
I’m sure a lot of your readers feel the same. The one of Scout and Riley is just precious. Such happy little faces.
One thingI want to tell you, I went to England when I graduated from high school in 1964. I’m 70 now so don’t remember a lot of the trip in detail!
But one memory I will never forget. We went to a cemetery outside of London and walked around. And, there was a headstone for a child that said “A treasure only lent.”
Such a beautiful way of thinking. And Scout was definitely a treasure and always will be.
How nice of your Vet to have made the paw print for you.
My Vet has a box for each of his five dogs who have passed away, in his office.
Hugs,
Suzanne (Carmel, CA)
I only have one photo of her as a youngish dog – at least, that I have immediate access to – we adopted her when she was 11 months old and this was pre-digital cameras. I’ve posted it once before but I’ll try to remember to post it again this week. She had short hair because she lived in California. It didn’t get long and wavy until we moved out East.
Just when you are up to it Claudia.
I missed the young picture you posted.
Love her long wavy hair!
Suzanne
It’s a picture with her big brother Winston.
Great! I’ve only seen the photo on your site of Winston. He looks very handsome.
Funny to think of pre-digital cameras. I thought I would always be using film. Never could have imagined.
Suzanne
xo
Scout looks absolutely beautiful in the picture you shared this morning. Her eyes are so expressive! She may not be with you physically, but her spirit will be with both of you forever.
Speaking of Frasier and Kelsey Grammar, my granddaughters were watching Dog Whisperer one morning before we took them to school when he appeared in a segment with his wife and dogs. It’s always interesting to see someone we have come to know through their TV or stage personality in a real life situation.
Sorry to hear your back is still giving you problems. Hopefully with rest, it will steadily improve.
Don knows him fairly well as they acted together onstage and, of course, on Frasier. He’s a really nice and generous guy.
My back is slowly improving and I’m being very careful!
My apologies ..When I read your reply I realized I spelled Grammer incorrectly. Monday morning brain fog I suppose! Have a great day!
xo
Claudia,
I can hardly believe it has been 3 weeks. It somehow seems unfair that time continues when we just want it to stop until we are ready to face the future. You just have to keep doing what you are doing and that is doing the best you can. Such a beautiful picture of Scout. They all are.
Susan
She was a beautiful girl, Susan. The most beautiful dog I’ve ever seen. xo
That photo! It made me smile and then tear up. Three weeks…yet the loss is so fresh and painful. I’ve gotten so I can look at photos of Charlie and smile but cry also. It’s ok, part of the healing. Like your Scout he will always be a part of me. I had to go to PetSmart yesterday to get some pill pockets for my Mom’s cat Sam. Yes they had adoptions going on. I looked but as cute as they all were, they weren’t Charlie and my heart is not ready. I knew that but it is always fun to look at sweet kitties and doggies! I know that someday I will get another kitty, my heart hurts for them living in cages. Meanwhile you enjoy Hummingbird Cottage and yes that Caroline is a lucky lady. Hugs to you and Don. I hope your back is better soon!
Linda
You’ll know when you’re ready, Linda. We aren’t either. Even if we didn’t have plans to travel a bit this next year, we’d still hold off. Our hearts won’t be ready for a long time.
I am getting my daily hour of Frasier on Lifetime as I type! And if I can’t sleep at night, he is on at midnight (here) on Hallmark for 2 hours. Love that show. I think the writing was/is some of the best ever in a TV show.
I loved Lady Gaga’s performance and thought it was absolutely amazing. Very sad it didn’t win.
After a beautiful weekend, we have Winter Storm Watch/ Warnings here for tonight into tomorrow. ugh. So ready to be done with it. Hopefully coming in like a lion, March will comply and leave like a lamb.
Oh no! Not another winter storm! I hope it comes and goes and melts quickly, Chris
Beautiful photo of Scout Claudia. She was a lovely lady indeed. And I’m so happy to see Hummingbird Cottage again. That bed looks like a lovely place to curl up in with a good book. I think I’ll hop on over to the other blog and check out her miniatures. Thank you for the link.
Blessings, Betsy
You are very welcome, Betsy!
I haven’t read other comments made, so forgive me if I’m saying something that has already been commented! My heart goes out to you, I lost my sweet girl in December, 2012, but we had another dog, so that helped us both survive. I still sometimes call our Molly (Rottweiler) Maddie (my sweet Shihtzu) by mistake!!
What I wanted to comment on is this, so often when I have been going through an especially emotional period in my life, I will have a physical ailment begin! When we lost our still-born granddaughter, my back went out! I could barely stand up straight the day of her funeral! When my mother was ill and ultimately passed away, I had something crazy wrong with one of my feet – in the arch. I could wear nothing but tennis shoes for weeks and it was still so painful to walk. I look back now and wonder if the emotional pain caused the physical pain!
Not that this makes any difference, I just wanted to tell you. I read your post every day, and I think you are so brave, handling this so all so well. You two just have the most interesting, creative lives!
I love Don’s new photo, by the way!!
Thank you, Myra. I think you’re most likely right on this one. The back injury/pain seemed to come out of nowhere, but I’m sure it’s been caused by emotional pain. It just makes sense, doesn’t it?
It is hard to believe that it’s been three weeks since Scout has graced your cottage. Sorry to hear your back is still sore…muscle spasms are no fun at all. I checked out Marian Russek’s blog…oh my…thought those pics were life sized at first. Such great detail! We “heard” our cranes were back in town on Saturday…but we had an actual back yard sighting this morning! Such graceful birds…noisy…but beautiful! Now, that’s a sure sign of spring…but we are scheduled for snow this evening…ugh. Enjoy your day! ;)
Yuck about the snow, but I’m glad your cranes are back!
Claudia, I expect that Scout is even more beautiful and radiant now.
She is still with you, on another plane.
I’m thinking of you every day, and wishing that I could take some of your heartache away.
Thank you, Nancy. We miss her terribly.
Hugs, Claudia, as you and Don navigate through your grief. It’s an intensely personal journey, yet we are all here for you. It’s been over five months since we lost our kitty Sienna. I still miss her on the piano waiting for me as I enter the house, following me around most of the day, or lying on my bed waiting for me to get in for a cuddle.
I skipped the Oscars, not being familiar with any of the movies nominated. Instead, I continued to sort my pre-digital photos while watching West Wing. I never watched it while it was on TV, but bought the DVD set when it came out.
Hope your back pain eases soon. Take it easier for a while…
I don’t think you missed a whole lot – the portion I saw wasn’t all that good.
Than you for your kind words, Wendy. Just trying to move through each day.
A lovely photo of Scout. :)
Aren’t Marion’s miniatures amazing? I tell my daughter I’m going to live in a converted shipping container like that when I retire.
Me too! It would be perfect!
Lovely Scout. I know you miss her and have been through so much, Claudia. It sounds like it is a time of resting and healing right now. I am still in a period of resting and healing from my father’s passing…just quieter and more withdrawn. I am keeping on…but I know you understand…sometimes it’s just going through the motions. I always wish I had some wisdom to share to help you in your journey…but just know…I care.
I’m much quieter as well. You do what you have to do to get through the day. I don’t have any wisdom to share either, except to say I understand. xo
What a great photo of Scout. She looks so cozy there with her pillow, and it’s such a suitably “girly” pillow too. I’m sure it was just another “regular” day at home, nothing much going on. And that’s what makes it so great. Have you had any little inklings that Scout is there in the house with you? Like the Oil of Olay scent with your Mom? Because I’ll bet anything Scoutie’s still sticking pretty close to home… ?
No inklings, and I’d give anything to sense her presence. But not yet.
Then for right now, I’m sure she is having WAY more fun than we can imagine, pounding up and down a Heavenly pink sand beach with Riley and Winston, enjoying her pain-free body again. And herding some of those sheep we all count at night to fall asleep, ’cause you know that’s got to be fun! And just “hangin” with your Mom, Dad & brother…. ☁️
PS – I’m about to make an “old lady” comment – LOL. I recognized maybe 10-20% of the people on the Oscar telecast and only a handful of the movies. No kidding. And not for nothing but I can only think of a couple of Americans who actually won! When did the Oscars go global? And why? Have our actors and crews been winning foreign “Academy Awards” for years now? That was truly surprising to me last night. I spent the night flipping between the show and “Downtown Abbey” and Fred Astaire movies on TCM. So as you can see, I guess I’m now officially “old.” LOL.
Well, I think they’ve been global for a while, but I am troubled by how many Brits are getting work here – in television (especially series) and in film – playing American characters. They’re talented, they do it well, but how many American actors do you see getting the same kind of work in Britain? Maybe one or two, and in both cases it’s because they actually live there now. American actors can play those roles that are being given to Brits and American actors need work. The percentage of actors who are out of work at any given time is extraordinarily, shockingly high. So that really ticks me off. It’s a real bee in my bonnet lately.
Totally agree, Claudia. I have NO problem with foreigners working in the US – on general principle – and I think up to now MOST Americans have had an extremely generous attitude about this issue – and have for a VERY long time. But there comes a time when we can no longer admit everyone who wants to come. Sorry it’s true, but it is. So if we’re going to give US jobs to foreigners, let’s at least make it people who don’t already live in wealthy countries with freedom and high standards of living. That leaves out the Brits, Canadians, Irish, Aussies, South Africans etc. And if the job is in the movies, TV or the theater, and there are native speakers already here with the right natural accents, well, to me that’s a no-brainer. FYI – probably the only issue where I side with the Republicans. End of soapbox. ?
Well, I must be clear: I don’t feel that way about immigration. I’m just talking about specific acting jobs that can be filled with actors here who need the work and who can play those roles just as well. There are so few jobs now because of Reality TV. But I want to affirm that I support those who need a new life in this country and also support those who sometimes have no choice but to get here any way they can. We are a nation founded on that principle and I want no walls. No deporting. None of that. xo
Oh, I do too, but apparently I wasn’t very clear in my reply. What I’m saying is that I’d like to see the limited number of immigration spaces we have each year be awarded to people to whom coming to the US could make a real difference – families living in poverty or who’re oppressed in some way, like the Syrian refugees. And not some Australian actor hoping for a bigger paycheck, Fame – or both. The way I see it, the Australian already lives in a free country with a very high standard of living etc. His life might not be perfect, but it’s pretty good. In addition, one of the chief requirements for granting work visas [the “H-1-B”] is that there can’t be Americans who do that kind of job [hence the US “needs” the foreign worker]. So you can see how well THAT rule gets followed – especially in your field. LOL. Whereas the Syrian doesn’t know where his next meal might come from, or when. Seems like an easy moral choice to make. We should be taking the people who need our help the most. Something tells me that’s not Russell Crowe or Nicole Kidman :>)
I just happened on your site via Susan Branch and happy to be getting to know you. I can’t help myself from commenting on your loss. Someone once shared with me, “the reason you feel such loss, is because you loved so much”. While the words are simple, so very true. How lucky for you to have had the opportunity to have Scout in your life. I guess there is nothing one can do to console you, other than to know people care. You have a huge hole in your heart. Now what to do with it. Enjoying your home and feeling safe is a beginning. Baby steps.
Thank you so much, Lyndia.
I am going to look at her blog…Take care..both of you…Laugh when you can…Cry when you have to…Hugs…
Thank you, Nancy.
The Oscars: First time in my life I haven’t watched it ‘live’ but I was somewhat tuned out of it (we had other stuff going on; turned out to be a busy Sunday), and I guess a lot of people were apathetic because ratings are already saying viewership was down. One commentator said that perhaps we’d been too saturated with press about it beforehand; took the bloom off the rose. I’d been on the web and already knew some of the awards/who won. I recorded the show and have been watching bits and pieces; I loved seeing the gowns (I’m shallow that way!). Gaga. I don’t know much about her. I know she’s talented but her personality, even singing with Tony Bennett, feels forced to me…like she’s too self-aware; what’s the word…what she does is too affected (I almost feel that she preens), trying to impress or call attention to herself. But I started tearing up when Joe Biden started talking and I was shuddering and crying by the time she ended that performance with all the victims standing strong around her. For me, it was definitely The Moment in that entire telecast. Powerful song; powerful singing/expression. Powerful, disturbing subject. There was a defiance, anger, triumph, validation to that performance. I’m sure if I’d have been in the audience, I would have been on my feet, shouting multiple bravas.
A twist to the Brit/American actor thing…I tuned into “Doc Martin” (I watch it randomly, never in order, but I love the scenery) and here was an appearance by Sigourney Weaver on a new episode who I assume will have a continuing role on the show(?). I said to my husband, “Maybe she wanted a vacation in Cornwall.”
Your ongoing grief. Gosh, I wish there was something more I could say or do to offer any kind of solace. Bless her heart, beautiful Scout. I hope Tuesday is a better day.
Hummingbird Cottage. I want to live there. It’s so perfect. Maybe some days you could turn it around so that the inside faces out; have a different view. The rooms are so delightful and the house is such a treasure. I always enjoy seeing your photos. Thank you.
Oh, I do. Depending on my mood, the side of the dollhouse that is visible to me changes.
That is a wonderful picture of Scout. What a beauty girl. Just the sweetest one.
I left a long decorating message on another post, mainly because I had to compose myself after crying so hard I couldn’t see. With my girls gone, I always enjoyed reading about Scout. Hence her life and death have touched my heart in a personal way, and I dreaded you having to go through this. I hate it. I hate it so much for you just as I hate having lost my little ones. Still, I wanted to comment here on this post about Scout.
I wish there was some way to erase your pain, Claudia. I would gladly do it. It seems that the more we love and are loved the greater the loss sustained. You will get through this. You will. I’ve been where you are, and I’m living proof that the sun will shine again. Do I still cry when I talk about them and remember? Yes, I do. It’s been years. Same thing for my husband. But we loved deeply and were loved deeply in return. I wish I had some words of wisdom, but I think the thing that will help most is knowing that you will come through on the other side and that you have people to hold your hand through this dark valley. And it’s okay to laugh while you’re grieving. I was watching “Fraiser” last night and hoping you were watching and laughing in the same part.
xo
Sheila
P.S. –
I just got word while I was writing this that another friend’s father died. Consequently I hope this makes sense.
We’ve lost three dogs now and each loss is unbearable. But Scout, perhaps because she was with us the longest – for 16 years – seems to be the hardest. Or maybe that’s just because we’re living it right now and, for the first time, we don’t have another dog with us. She was an incredible being. That’s all I can say.
I’m sure that has a lot to do with the depth of your pain. The same thing with us. and ours. And Scout was a singular dog. Very, very special. I feel her loss, and I’m not her mother. I hurt for you. xo
Thank you, Sheila.