It’s melting. Slowly but surely. The three different sections of snow in the dog corral used to be so high that I couldn’t see Scout as she walked the paths.
And the chairs on the Funky Patio are recognizable once again.
A few more days of temps in the forties and most of it will be gone. Our local weather will still be on the cold side for the rest of March. Winter clearly doesn’t want to leave our neck of the woods just yet.
Thanks for all of the wonderful comments on yesterday’s post. It clearly struck a chord with many of you. You know, I was really trying to examine the curious process of aging, of seeing a reflection in the mirror that is no longer the same person you knew and how I myself struggle with that process. How do I come to terms with that? I sort of sailed through most of my fifties. It was only toward the end of that decade that I started to see some real changes.
I’ve lost about 10 – 15 pounds this winter by cutting out sugar. I have a sweet tooth but I found that after a few weeks without sweets, I didn’t crave them. I’d still like to lose more weight, simply because I feel better, have less aches and pains and more energy without the extra weight I was carrying.
I really am not someone who wants to color my hair. Though I said that sometimes it seems to make my skin look even paler, at the same time, I receive lots of compliments about my gray hair. I always have. I think it’s less about hair color for me and more about spirit, joy, an appetite for learning and growing and, finally, a happiness that comes from within. So, yes, maybe I’ll consider coloring my hair, but frankly? Probably not. I will put on makeup more often, however. I do feel better if I have it on when I’m in public. But don’t start thinking I’m going to go through some sort of makeover, unless we’re talking about a change in perception and attitude. That’s where the makeover needs to happen. Everything else is surface, and that’s perfectly fine, nothing at all wrong with that. But it isn’t any substitute for facing fear and the very real fact that we all age and have to come to terms with it.
I think the goal for me is coming to a joyous acceptance of being a certain age. That doesn’t mean giving up or giving in; it means embracing, exulting and knowing, deep within, that all one’s years of living are reflected in the lines on the face, in the gray of the hair, in the inner wisdom that shines through every pore of the skin.
It’s a struggle at times. I’ve been down lately. I’ve been homebound a lot. I seem to be on the edge of some transition with my career and it worries me. My mother has been ill. All of that is reflected in the way I see myself at this moment in time. Sometimes I call Don and cry. I did that yesterday. Life can be messy.
But on a good day, I have a twinkle in my eye and a great sense of humor, I have lots of love in my heart and a sense of the ridiculous, I’m really smart and, boy, have I learned a lot over the years. I dance around the house, I sing to my doggie, I make funny faces, I laugh a lot, I create, I write, I help others, I try to be of service.
Not bad. Not bad at all.
Happy Wednesday.
J’ai 66ans et je voudrais avoir les cheveux tout blancs.J’en ai parlé à mon coiffeur,mais je n’ai pas assez de cheveux blans et je continue ma coloration dans ma couleur chatain.Pour la photo d’hier,vous avez beaucoup d’auto- dérision parce que même si c’est vrai que nous sommes parfois ainsi ,la plupart du temps nous avons une expression du visage moins grave.Vous avez beaucoup d’humour ,non,Claudia?
J’ai beaucoup aimé ce poste.
Claude (France)
Oui, j’ai beaucoup d’humour, Claude! Merci beaucoup.
Est ce que le Frenchie up top speaking of horses or coloring the hair?????? Only four years of French study (over 50 years) and that’s how far I’ve gotten. But I’m curious. I feel the French would support me in my supposition that gray hair is only for those 80 ans. Really. I’m 64 and my 21 yr.old told me this past fall when I was in the emotional trash heap of aging; she said I look much older avec gray hair. ‘dye it , mom’. Some six months later, I’m feeling so much better and haven’t had a relapse.
No, she’s saying she wishes she had all white hair but she doesn’t have enough yet to do that. So it’s blonde at the moment.
THAT is soooo funny. I got it wrong all over the place. I just know what worked for me and my daughter Hanna. I am aware of the tragedy of looking in the mirror, so I relate. I can’t remember when we had that much snow here in central NM. The blizzard of 1957, maybe. I hope spring is on the way for the eastern seaboard.
I understand the ups and downs. I’ll have a good day and the next day I want to stay in bed all day. I felt pretty good yesterday until last night when I found out that my beloved aunt took a turn for the worse and is on oxygen. She is afraid of dying and keeps asking me about my mom’s last moments. The stress from worrying about loved ones is exhausting. Be good to yourself. Give yourself a spa day for you and for Scout too.
Big Texas Hugs,
Susan and Bentley
I’m saying a prayer for your aunt, Susan. Hang in there, my friend.
Claudia, So good to see the ground, isn’t it? I love your hair. When I first saw your blog, I thought you were that modal with gray hair,…you know the one that was probably 30 with gray hair to lure older ladies to buy some product. When I feel washed out, I get my lipstick on . Humor can safe us from the blues some times. I hope you remain strong. xoxo,Susie
Lipstick is pretty terrific, Susie!
Sometimes it seems like you can see into my thoughts Claudia. Yesterday’s post could have been written about my thoughts. I have lots more lines in my face than anyone my age I know. I mentioned it to my mother in law who is 82 with very few lines and wrinkles. She said, “You are too critical of yourself. When others look at you they see the sweet face of a kind and loving woman”. I believe most women have some insecurities about their looks. My mother aged early as did her mama. You have a real gift for opening discussions about issues all women deal with Claudia. Thanks for sharing!
And they do see that sweet face, Janie!
Again, a wonderful post. I think too many of us let the person in the mirror rob us of enjoying life right where we are. That person in the mirror needs to be happy right where she is.
And I finally thought of a name for your tiny little doggie of the dollhouse: Raider. He is so little he needs a big name!
Have a good day.
Tana
Yes, happiness and a sense of peace is key, I believe!
Caudia, please send me your email address……I thought I had it. I have a video I want you to see. Perfect for this subject.
I have white hair and I love it. It’s still a little dark in the back but the front is very white. I started to turn white in my 20’s. I colored it until I turned 50. I can’t believe that the dyes aren’t harmful for us. I sometimes think it ages me but other times I don’t. For some reason it irritates me when others tell you to dye your hair. Most that have gray or white hair and its died it looks bad. All one color and boring. And who is kidding who with all the blonde hair out there.
Aging is hard o accept for me as well. I hardly use any makeup. I do carry a compact with pressed foundation in my purse. I use it sometimes. I also use the powdered mineral makeup for times that I think I should.
This winter has been draining. If I didn’t have to get out to take care of my grandchildren, I would probably never leave the house. I really put off getting groceries or shop. My wardrobe leaves a lot to be desired.
The job situation is somewhat the same as what you are going through without getting into. Big changes may be coming our way…..and not good ones.
Anyhoooooo send me your email. I think you will enjoy this.
xo
Debby, my email address is in the sidebar under the email envelope logo. Or click About Me and you can find it. Your email address that is attached to this comment is the one that no longer works, remember? And I can’t remember your other email address.
Hi Claudia,
Thanks for writing about something so many feel, but don’t really talk about. I’ve been thinking about aging lately, probably because I have a birthday coming up. Many of my feelings are the same as yours. I’m looking forward to the nicer weather so I can go hiking again, take some photos-that always helps my spirit. Stay positive and have a good day :)
-Lynn
I think being out again in the Spring, gardening, walking and taking photos will help a LOT!
I think your hair looks fabulous! I personally highlight mine…that way the gray kind of sneaks in but I feel better. And isn’t that what this whole aging conversation about? We need, as women, to do what makes us feel better about ourselves. Whether that be coloring our hair, or learning a new language! We are all aging…we might as well try and age as gracefully as possible! It’s nice to see your grass again…it’s snowing here…seriously! ;)
Oh no! More snow? We’re supposed to get rain today.
I was going to respond yesterday but didn’t really know what to say. At 67 I do color my hair and do it myself. But if my gray was pretty I wouldn’t. Never did like tweed!!
Its hard when life takes a turn especially one not desired. Praying for you.
I am glad to see the gradual melting of the snow. I was worried about flooding for you.
head up girl head up!
hugs Karen
I do understand – some people gray nicely, others not so much – I guess it depends on the way the gray looks.
Claudia – DO NOT EVER DYE YOUR HAIR! Your hair is so beautiful. You are beautiful but your hair is your crowning glory.
I’m so jealous – all snow – no grass (even brown grass) visible here.
Have you ever thought about doing commercials? You’d be so great. J
Oh, you’re so sweet, Julie. Unfortunately, it’s a pretty competitive field – just ask my husband! No one ever knows why the ad agencies cast the actors they use. It’s a real crap shoot.
Hi Claudia. Glad to know that the snow in your area is melting away. We have had rain and drizzle here for 3 days. I feel your need to get outside. Even though here we don’t get a lot of snow we are inside most of the time and then the hot humid summers we try to stay inside with the a/c. With the age topic, i don’t color my hair or wear much makeup. My daughter says i should get highlights, but it is with white and light brown! I don’t do things as quick anymore either. My husband said “our children have all gone now”, and i said at least we are alive to see it. He meant they are not at home anymore. Both our son and daughter got married last year at a little over a month apart. Now our son is in the Great Lakes Naval training area. Hope the sunshine and being able to get outside lifts you up!!
No sun today – rain on the way – but I sure hope to be out working in the yard in the next week or so.
Great post.
That’s the spirit!
Thanks, Nancy.
I’ve been really concerned about my energy levels and I think you’ve given me a key to the answer….diet! I think I eat too much sugar and carry too much weight. It does make a difference. I know I lost weight before I went to Paris and I felt so much better. So I’m setting a new goal for myself to cut down on the sweets and eat a better diet. This aging thing is so hard isn’t it!
hugs, Linda
Cutting out sugar really helps me. I try to eat pretty healthily – though I sometimes indulge in something fatty or fried (for example: Five Guys french fries!)
Claudia, I really love your hair color and hope you don’t do anything about it. Are you familiar with those “seasonal” color systems? They all say that we look our best when we leave our own natural coloring as is, that our eyes, hair and complexion “go together” naturally, and we went meant to age that way. That makes sense to me – most of the time “messing with” nature never seems to work out. PS – my mom told me something interesting when I was in my 20s and had finally cut my long 70s-style hair after college. She said she remembered reading somewhere that Coco Chanel said only young women can wear their hair long and look well – that at a certain age [and I think Coco said 30-35] all women should cut their hair to no longer than top of the shoulders. That has always stuck with me and I must say I have noticed it to be true for the most part. If I see or meet a woman past a certain age with shoulder-length or longer hair it really seems to detract from the “overall package” and I find myself thinking, “Gee, she’d be so much more attractive if she cut her hair…” Has anyone else noticed that?
My hair needs to be long – although it’s too long at the moment! Usually it’s just below my shoulders. Anything shorter and my face looks too round. Though I have to add that I know many women who are older and have long hair and they look fabulous!
And yes, I’m a Winter.
YOur hair is gorgeous. You are like my mom. She had the most pretty silver hair. I do not. My gray is yucky.
Oh, thanks, Elaine. I appreciate that!
Sounds like your good days are amazing..I guess you just need more of them..Love your hair..Mine is getting that way but still seems to have a lot of brown in it..At least I think so..
I have a lot of brown underneath the top layer – when I put my hair in a pony tail you can see the brown.
I do seriously think being housebound is hard on us. I know that this is the 4th winter since I retired, and it has by far been the hardest couple of months I have gone through in those 4 years. If it wasn’t snowing it was -20*+ and I just wouldn’t go out in it. We have some robins in the ‘hood now, and they make me smile! The snow is melting, although we had some more this morning again. Boo! But it doesn’t stick like it did just a few weeks ago. All good signs. And I have to believe that this horrid snow cover will bring us beautiful blooms in just a matter of time. Most importantly, we did survive, and we should be proud and celebrate that.
I think going off of sugar would be an excellent thing to do in celebration of this “winning”, because I believe it would also help me to feel better and have less aches and pains, too. Just have to now make that happen!! Thanks for a great post you shared with us today, Claudia!!
It has been very hard on us, I agree, Chris.
You are welcome!
As you know I have silver hair, have had it for years and I embrace it. Just using the silver/purple shampoo helps to add sparkling highlights to it and perks it up once in a while. I even find myself looking for silver and white haired ladies! I thoroughly enjoy seeing us wear it proudly. And if I find a silver haired lady wearing a beautiful braid I am so jealous, as I have super fine thin hair, no way has that ever been possible for me. Your hair is perfect just the way it is! I’m sure you’ll be much happier when Don gets home. Won’t he be surprised when he sees the yard I’ve been caring for my sick husband going on 10 years now and 3 years ago I made myself join a paint class, it has helped my spirits so much, I don’t feel isolated as much now. Sometimes we need to give ourselves a swift kick in the pants to get out more. My dogs don’t go for my singing, so that isn’t an option here!
Oh I wish I could wear a braid, too! I love that look but my hair is baby fine and that ain’t gonna happen! You have been such a strong source of support and care for your husband, Annette. Taking a painting class was such a smart thing to do – something entirely for you.
Hi Claudia – I’m your fan with the same birth date and year. I, too, have “sands of the beach” colored hair that’s past my shoulders. Lately it’s been getting real thin, and although I hate to, I may have to cut it jaw length or a little below. I also would encourage you not to color. Sometimes lately I think about doing mine. I’ve said it before, but many times I feel like you must be my twin separated at birth, we’re so much alike!! All the feelings and thoughts you described the past few days are exactly the same feelings I have, and I’m sure a lot of women in our “experience range” have. I don’t think I really look like the old woman in the mirror…I guess we need to embrace where we are now and realize that we are a result of our experiences. I, too, am a late mid-30s bloomer who never liked or appreciated the way I looked. I just try to look the best I can now and always try to do my best with what I have. I also do not want to have any “work” done…I try and realize that my darling has aged with me and this is the course of all life. No one stays young forever except that movie with Goldie Hawn years ago where she was given the fountain of youth serum by Ms. Rosalini! (I forgot the name — I blame the age—LOL!! Well, keep on doing what you love, my dear, and know that your readers love you and love you just the way you are. You give everyone hope, joy in their day and friendship.
I don’t think I will color my hair, Patricia. I just don’t see that happening. And keeping up with roots? And gray roots showing? ummm. I don’t think so.
Yes, my darling has aged along with me and it would be silly for one of us to suddenly look a lot younger!
First of all, don’t do anything with your hair. It’s beautiful! Second, I say toss the make up. After doing some research I started using Loreal BB Creme. That and some lipstick and you are good to go! No concealer, powder, etc needed with the BB creme. If I want to be dressy I add some mascara and a little blush. Easy peasy and all that make up clutter is gone!
I’ve been hearing about this BB Creme. I’m going to try it out. I just do the simplest of makeup jobs – foundation, blush, a little eyebrow magic and some lipstick. And not always the lipstick.
Claudia, you are a wonderful beautiful woman. This has been a hard winter for most of us. It’s time for the winter to give way to spring. In fact starting tomorrow I am no longer going to say the W word. I am looking forward to all that life has to offer and I always look forward to learning more about you. xo Laura
No more W word Laura. Good idea! Thank you for your kind words! Right back at ya.
Your landscape looks exactly like ours here in northern IL. Sounds like your weather is similar to ours lately, too. We had a nice day yesterday – 50 degrees – but today it’s back down in the 30’s. You’re lucky you sailed through your 50’s…I’m having a very hard time with this decade (I’ll be 52 in August), so far. Even though I take care of myself by eating healthy, walking, and doing yoga and am at an “OKish” weight (I need to lose about 15 lbs, too), I am really having a hard time accepting my menopausal belly and increasing aches and pains, etc.
Just my humble opinion, but I think it would do you a world of good to jump in the car and go visit Don. I know he’s 4 hours away, but if you could get someone to watch Scout for just one day…you could leave at 8 a.m. and be in Don’s area just in time to have lunch with him and be with him for a couple of hours. You could then be home early in the evening. :-)
Well, perhaps ‘sailed’ is a bit strong, Melanie – I did have to accept the changes in my body – wider hips, no longer as thin as I was- the fact that my body looked more ‘matronly.’ I understand having a hard time with all of those changes.
I could go see Don, but he’ll be home in 2 1/2 weeks so I may hold out.
Your post is very honest and since we are very close in age I know all too well what you are thinking and feeling. My husband always has been the most supportive person in my life. When it comes to my hairstyle he always tells me that do whatever makes me happy. If he doesn’t like it he will let me know. One thing though that he is vocal about is me not going gray. It’s weird…he just has a thing about that particular thing. At this particular time of my life I am trying to be more mindful and grateful of each day…it takes practice because there is always “stuff” that distracts you.
Hugs,
Patti
Being more mindful and grateful is a wonderful way to go through each day, Patti. And I know it’s hard. I have the same trouble!
I think it is true..we all just need to get out after this horrid Winter and get some fresh air and sunshine..I know I will feel better and I hope you will too Claudia..Hugs
I totally relate, Claudia. I remember when I first saw my mother’s back in the mirror one morning after my shower. Having always been slender and attractive (forgive me, I’m just pointing out my vanity then), I started to panic. We were painting the bathroom at the time, and I jokingly put some painters tape on the mirror to hide the little fatty pockets that were forming. I used to joke about doing this, and folks laughed, but it really was unnerving. Now, 20 odd years have passed, I’ve aged incredibly, and still have my moments as I notice my hair greying more, more blemishes forming, more wrinkles….but these are nothing compared to what’s going on in my heart. I still joke about the tape on the mirror, but it was funnier then, and not so much now. Now folks just see an old lady, and can’t imagine me any other way. But the truth is that Life is about what’s in your heart, and not what’s in the mirror, when its all said and done, isn’t it. Mine, for one, is a continuous work-in-progress, and I know that sometimes we just need to feel the Spring sun shine again to appreciate our true gifts are still with us. Thanks for sharing, Its always good to read your articulations on life and thoughts. Your gifts are appreciated more than you know.
I feel exactly as you do when I catch my reflection, is that how I look? But I remember this, growing old is a privilege denied to many. So put a smile on your face and a twinkle in your eye and you will be beautiful on the inside and out! I remember stroking my grandmother’s face as a young girl and telling her I loved her soft marshmallow skin. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!
So lovely to read total honesty and authenticity in a blogworld that oftentimes seem so terribly fake and dare I say it ‘styled’? Your frank admission to what I would say is a common thread in most of the female species is refreshing. Life is full of ups and downs. Kindness to oneself is important. To accept what you cannot change and keep one’s sense of humour in spite of it all is a rare thing and you have bucketloads of that Claudia!
This winter has been the most difficult in recent memory, Claudia. I’m not sure why. There were winters with just as much snow, and some with more ice and more bitter temperatures. But for some reason — perhaps the unseasonable October, November and early December, which spoiled us? — it was just unbearable for so many people. (Myself included!) Everything was an effort, it seemed, nothing was easy. And everyone seemed to be worn down by it, including seasoned New Englanders. And I think it made coping with other life difficulties seem insurmountable some days. (I’ve had more crying jags this winter than I have in a long time!) But…. we made it through, and it’s Spring now. Thank goodness! Embracing who we are and the age we are and being grateful for what we have and what we can still do is definitely the key to contenment, I think. It’s not easy some days, but as my mom used to say, Even soldiers have to lie and cry for awhile. I love that saying and I think of it a lot when I feel blue. It taught me not to be too hard on myself. xxx