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On Christmas

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I hope you were all snuggled in your beds last night with visions of sugarplums dancing in your heads and that all the sugarplums you desire and hope for and need are under your tree. Or in your heart. Today and always.

Christmas can be a tough day for so many. Struggle, pain, despair, loneliness, separation, stress, illness, loss – any or all of those things can cast a pall over the holidays. Many feel like they should be celebrating and happy and joyous like seemingly everyone else around them, like it is on television, or in pretty Pinterest pictures, or in books. But they can’t. Of course, that sense that everyone else is happy and full of good cheer and blessed and in the midst of picture-perfect family celebrations is a falsehood. While we wish that for everyone this holiday season and always, we also know that many are suffering. Many are in pain. Many are ill. Many are missing loved ones who are no longer with them, loved ones who have made their transition this past year.

In my own family this year, Meredith’s husband, my dear brother-in-law, lost his brother and mother within the space of a few weeks. Then, a short time later, we lost our mom. Three loved ones this year are not here to celebrate with us; three dear ones whose absence is deeply felt. We move forward, because we have to, because they would want us to. But it isn’t easy.

Dear Judy lost her beloved husband this year. We’ve lost friends. And I know some of you who are reading this post have also experienced the loss of your dearly loved friends and family members this year. Many of you have lost beloved pets. Many of you might be struggling in some way.

We send you our love. We send you our deepest wish for hope and healing, restoration and renewal.

Neither Don or I are near our families, who are scattered in California, Illinois, Michigan and Florida. We are far away from them during the holidays and have been for years and we’d love nothing more than to be with them. But, it is what it is. We’ve had to accept that. The important thing is to hold them in our hearts, to celebrate the spirit of the season, to remember why we celebrate this holiday and do our best to spread cheer and love to our fellow man.

Listen, Don and I have had Christmases where we have had next to nothing on hand to buy each other a present – where we’ve taken $50 out of our bank account, $50 that really stretched us to the limit financially, $50 that we felt guilty about spending, and each of us took half that amount to buy the other a present or two. That’s it. Many, many people don’t even have that.

And we’ve had a Christmas or two where the bank account was a bit fuller and we could indulge in a few more gifts. Life in the arts as freelancers means that our income is different every year. In the end, that seesaw ride has made us appreciate Christmas all the more because we’ve learned it’s not about excess. It’s not about what is under the tree. It’s about spirit and love and celebration and quiet moments of reflection. It’s about remembering where we came from and why we’re here.

If you’re able to be with your families, enjoy that privilege. Yes, there may be tensions, but in the end, who cares? Appreciate the time you have with your loved ones. Don’t take it for granted. It’s all too fleeting.

Oh goodness, this is not meant to be a sermon, simply some thoughts from someone who misses her brother and her mother. Who misses her father-in-law and cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents and friends who are no longer here on Earth; whose absence is more acute at Christmastime. Who knows how lucky she is to have Don in her life. And Don would tell you he knows how lucky he is to have me in his life.

If you’re lonely, reach out to someone in need. It pulls you out of yourself and changes your perspective. A smile can make a world of difference in someone’s day.

Count your blessings. Be thankful. Send love out to everyone you see.

We send our love to you. We are deeply grateful for your friendship and your presence in our lives.

christmasgreeting

Comments

  1. Merry Christmas, Claudia, to you, Don and Scout. Enjoy your time with each other and slices of coffee cake. I don’t have family in town (anymore) but dinner will be with friends and I made a few calls yesterday and will later today. Chatting with aunts and uncles in their 80’s (some closer to 90) reminds me that I’m lucky to have members of that previous generation, who knew and loved my late parents, still with me. I need to head to the Maritimes to see them come summertime. Enough early morning rambling. Have a lovely day.

    -Karen

    • Merry Christmas, Karen! I’m glad you’ll be with friends later today. Enjoy your day, indulge yourself, and have a wonderful, wonderful Christmas!

  3. Beautifully said Claudia! I too know how hard Christmas can be. I’ve been alone some years, with friends at times and this year I’ll be with all my close family. My Mom, two daughters, a son in law and my sweet Grandson Tiger (and the wiggly grandgirl still being wondrously made). I will cherish each moment and know that I am Blessed! Wishing you, Don and Dame Scout a day filled with JOY.

    Linda

    • Sending those wishes right back to you, Linda. I’m so glad you’re with your family. Enjoy your day. Merry Christmas!

  4. Thank you for this thoughtful post Claudia. Many are alone or experiencing challenges over the holidays. The holidays are overwhelming in their sadness for me and feeling alone for me – I try to find things that are fun and joyful to do and occupy me and somehow move through these days without family.
    Thinking of you and wishing you, Don and Dame Scout, much comfort and joy in each other’s company.
    Merry Christmas and much happiness in 2015!
    Sally xo

  5. Merry Christmas! For us, the important part of Christmas is Christmas Eve, when family gathers. My in-laws are elderly, my brother is in USA and my sister in a city far away, in the other side of my country. My son in Japan, so my husband and I are virtually alone. But is nice to be the two together. I cook what we like to eat, made a lot of cookies, and enjoy our company. And just recently my son has called (by Skype). We usually talked once or twice per week.
    The best for you, Don and Scout.

    • Holiday blessings to you and your husband, Veronica! Merry Christmas! We do the same thing and Don is making Chinese food for dinner! No pressure to make the traditional Christmas dinner.

      xo

  6. Palavras comoventes, Cláudia! Eu, tão longe, aqui no Brasil, me senti envolvida num forte abraço. Essa é a verdadeira comunhão do Natal. E que o amor esteja sempre presente em sua vida. Feliz Natal a você, Don e Scout!

  7. What a perfect shot of snow falling on the little red shed in the woods. Enjoyed, as well, the heartfelt words and bittersweet rememberings of special people and bygone times. Thanks for letting us in on your world. Wishing you and the rest of your pack the best for the new year…from our little beach shack in Florida.

  8. Claudia,
    Merry Christmas to you, Don and Scout!!
    Enjoy and celebrate all your blessings.
    Vanessa

  9. Claudia, I wish you, Don and beautiful Scout a very, very Merry Christmas! And I want to thank you for your gift that you give us readers every day, your beautiful words and pictures, how you share your heart and feelings and knowledge with us. It is like Christmas morning every day to read your posts. Really. I hope you can feel my gratitude and love I send out to you. Have a peaceful, beautiful Christmas Day!! xo

  12. Merry Christmas dear Claudia ! I really hope you spend a quiet and beautiful day in the sweet company of your loved ones.Your post reflected my own thoughts and feelings about how many of us feel on a day like this but anyway let”s treasure the little moments we can share with the ones we love because they are precious.Would you please give a huge and special kiss to Scout for me? I love your girl ! the best for you all!
    xoxo Alicia
    Buenos Aires

  13. Merry Chrismas to you all! Thank you for the gift of your writing, a present I look forward to receiving and opening every day!

    • You are most welcome. I’m so glad you enjoy stopping by this little space on the web. Merry Christmas to you and yours, Sylvia!

  15. Thank you for the Christmas wishes. We send our wishes to you, Don and Scout also. It has been a trying year, but we are very lucky that we have mom for another holiday. Who knows how long that will last. Terminal is terminal.
    29 people here today. Crowded, but luckily we are a close family. Maybe a little closer then we are use to today. My sister told me that she will bring a shoe horn.
    Anyway have a great day. But I know that you are happy to have all 3 of you together again.

    • 29 sounds like a lot of fun, Teresa! And I’m so glad your mom is with you this Christmas. Merry Christmas to you and yours! xo

  16. Merry Christmas to all of you! Your sweet words are comforting as always. Love, love the picture of the red shed sitting there all snowy! Have a good day!

  17. Beautifully written, Claudia. If you and Don lived nearby, we would extend an invitation to join us for Christmas dinner. Thinking of those with us and those that have departed.

    Best Wishes.
    Betsy

  18. Mery Christmas to you, Don, and Scout! Thank you for the gift of sharing your lives with us each and every day.

  19. Happy holidays, sweet lady. You’re such a generous writer; thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. We all win when we tell our truth.

    Love from Sue, Joe and Ben
    xo

  20. A truly beautiful post – Wishing you, Don and your sweetie pie Scout the merriest and happiest joys for this holiday season.

  21. Claudia, Don and Dame Scout,
    Thank you for bringing funny, happy, thought -provoking moments to us. I always enjoy everything you write about. Your lives in the theatre are amazing. I consider it very special that you share it with us, your readers.
    I wish all the happiness and good fortune that is in the universe to all 3 of you. I hope this new year will bring you new adventures.
    Hugs to you all!
    Deb Price

    • And I wish the same for you, Deb! Have a wonderful holiday filled with fun and happiness. Here’s to 2015!

  22. I only discovered your blog this year and look forward to your thoughtful, insightful and funny postings. This Christmas post hits home, as I lost my husband two years ago right before Christmas, so the holidays are always tinged with sadness. But I’m fortunate that I have all my close family nearby and will see them all day today. Have a happy Christmas. I’m looking forward to reading the goings-on at Mockingbird Hill Cottage in 2015.

    • Sending my best to you on this Christmas without your dear husband, Wendy. I’m glad you have loving family nearby as surely that will fill your day with love and laughter.
      Merry Christmas!

  23. Merry Christmas! I hope you, Don and Scount have a wonderful Christmas day and a happy and healthy New Year.

    Thank you for the beautiful snowy shed picture, so pretty.
    Kathleen

    • You are very welcome, Kathleen. It’s one of my favorite photos.
      Merry Christmas to you and yours!

  24. It’s been a tough year for me and I am waiting for a great 2015! As far as loved ones who have gone ahead, I find their memories make my heart fuller. I feel times and places I don’t feel the rest of the year. Their memories don’t make Christmas sadder, but show me how much love my heart can really hold. So now you and I have to start a major cleaning on the old homesteads to ring in the New Year much lighter! Merry Christmas to you, Don, Scout and the rest of your families.

  25. We’re heading to the matinee at 1 :30 “INTO THE WOODS” … Just the Honey and myself. Something we began doing after all the kids started families. We all get together on New Years Day –/ for food , fun , and fellowship.
    May all the blessings of Christmas be yours today!

  27. Thank you for today’s beautiful and thoughtful post. Merry Christmas to you, Don, and Scout.

  28. Such a great post on this so special day dear Claudia – thought provoking and makes one feel grateful for so many things, especially family and friends.

    Hope this day is joyful for you, Don and Dame Scout – is she going to be in Her Majesty’s New Year’s Honours List by chance?

    Happy Christmas, Merry Boxing Day tomorrow, and all the best for the coming year.
    Love, Mary and Bob

    • I would think Her Majesty would include Dame Scout – after all, she’s going to be 16 years old in a little over a week!

      Merry Christmas, dear friend! Best to you and Bob and your darling Jasmine!

  29. Claudia, thank you for the gift of your wonderful blog that I enjoy reading daily! Merry Christmas to you, Don and Dame Scout!

  30. Perfect message for today, Claudia. And for all of us – every day. God bless you, Don, Scoutie and all your readers [and fellow posters] – and Merry Christmas all!

  31. Thank you Claudia for always giving us something to ponder. I hope you, Don and your precious girl have a joyful, peaceful day. Merry Christmas!

    • I hope your day has been wonderful, Janie. It’s cold and blustery here, but no snow! We’re enjoying the day and I wish you the very merriest of Christmases!

  32. Oh happy day when I first stumbled upon your blog!
    Thank you for sharing your daily adventures.

    I truly wish you and your family joy today and every day.

    Barbara xo

  33. What a beautiful post from the heart. Thank you. I was touched by your words. And, yes, the hard thing (of so many) about getting older is that we’ve lost that many more people in our lives. I’m really grateful that, this holiday-season year, although I started the week before Thanksgiving in tears, it’s ended with a really nice few days home with my husband. We’re alone but happy to have each other when we don’t really have anybody else. Some families are so, so small…and ours is one of them. Last night, cups of peppermint mocha-cocoa in hand, we drove around and looked at all the house light-displays in the neighborhoods and it was really like being in a sparkly fantasy forest; starry and sparkly. Uplifting. This morning, we baked our coffee cake (boxed…not homemade like yours, but I copied your recipe down and we’ll give yours a go next year!) and are scurrying around getting our yard prepped for the season’s first frost/freeze here in SoCal (we did a lot of work on our exterior property this year and don’t want to lose those tender new plants and fruit trees!) but, at the moment, we’re low 60s and sunny. I’m so relieved when the magic of Christmas returns to me and, somehow, somewhere in the long holiday season, it always does.

    • The thing is to find those small moments of joy, of wonder. They may not last long, but they filled us with the spirit and love that embody Christmas. I’m so glad you were able to find the magic of Christmas, Vicki! Merry Christmas!

  34. Oh Claudia, what a what a sweet and heartfelt post. Merry Christmas to you, Don and Scoutie. It is so awesome that a little blog can pull so many people across the world together – to make “us” feel like a family. Thank you for all you do, your thoughtful DAILY posts (seriously, THANK YOU for that) and sharing so much interesting knowledge, life experiences and sometimes just plain fun. You are so appreciated. Merry Christmas.

    • You’re very welcome. I love writing this blog and the fact that all of you love coming here is the icing on the cake. Merry Christmas to you and yours, Deb!

  35. Merry Christmas, Claudia ~ to you and Don and sweet Scout. I hope you had a peaceful day. We are still in “recovery mode” here today. This is wicked stuff. The Tamiflu does seem to help, though, so for that we are thankful.
    So, instead of a traditional Christmas dinner ~ the ham will remain in the fridge along with the makings for all the sides, and we are ordering out! :-o Never ever did this before on a Christmas Day, but it will somehow turn into the memory of “the Christmas we were so sick we got take-out”. So, as you say, we are always making memories of some sort!
    We actually had some sun for about 15 minutes today. It was the first time in 16 days. That alone made all of us feel a bit better!

    • Thank goodness you’re all feeling a bit better! Enjoy take out. You deserve it. The last thing you need to worry about is food. Pop a good movie in the DVR or through Netflix and take it easy, my friend. We had a little sun today, too. But it’s been windy and cold all day long.

      Merry Christmas!

  37. You have brought tears to my eyes and a warmth to my heart dear friend..Blessings to all of you..You are two of the nicest people I never met..lol..Extra hugs to Dame Scout today!

    • Merry Christmas to you and yours, Nancy! Dame Scout is a bit under the weather today, but she’s starting to perk up!

  38. Merry Christmas to all of you.
    One of my mom’s favorite things to tell me when I was feeling a bit sorry for myself or just down was to reach out to someone in need and think of how you could help them. Holidays can be a perfect time for this as expectations are so high and everything is just so magnified.
    Woody and I wish you the best!
    Eileen

  39. Look how popular you are, Claudia, simply by being yourself!
    Merry Christmas, and blessings on your household.

  42. What a lovely post. No bitterness, no judgement of how others celebrate or decorate or gift. Very refreshing and well written. You make the most of being together and doing things that you both love.

  43. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on loss of loved ones and the acute pain felt during the holidays. It means so much to me to know you understand. My coworkers seem to think that if I’m not beside myself, constantly in tears, then everything must be fine. None of them invited me for coffee, but they were having get-togethers. I might not have accepted the invitation, but being asked was important to me. Today is January 1st of another new year. I’ve lost all of my family now. My brother died suddenly last month on November 24th. He and I lived in our family home so now it’s just me and the dog. Mom passed away on November 13, 2007. So even though I loved the holidays and took the lead in decorating it’s now a time that I just get through.

    So again thank you for your insight and expressing it so eloquently.

    Peace to you and yours.
    Marilyn

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