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On Loss

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This is a week of loss. And I’m very sad.

A few days ago, my dear friend of 56 years lost her mother. Her mother was a very important part of my life from the age of four on. I truly loved Mrs. Orr. I spent a lot of time with her. She was a lovely person who made me laugh and cared for me and fed me Italian food and gave me my first hair cut. She was widowed at a young age and she fiercely and lovingly raised her two daughters on her own. Her daughter Jackie is my oldest friend. I was in her wedding. Last night, I called Jackie and we shared memories of her mom and of our adventures and of the laughter we all shared together. Because that’s what I remember the most – laughing until tears rolled down our faces. Jackie and I have the kind of friendship that is strong and rooted and that is not dependent on daily phone calls, or physically seeing each other. It’s just there. Always.

Mrs. Orr lived a long and full life. For that, I am very grateful. It doesn’t make her passing any easier, however.

This morning I was trying to cobble together a post, when I received an email from another childhood friend who I’ve known since first grade. I’ve written about Debbie before. She has been battling cancer for many years now, with grace and dignity, rooted in a strong faith. She lost her mother (who was my Girl Scout troupe leader) to cancer many years ago. Her sister Karen died three years ago from cancer. In the course of her own treatment, she reconnected with our high school pal, Corinne. Corinne was also battling cancer. They formed a bond and helped each other through the rough times.

I also reconnected with Corinne on Facebook. And then she started reading this blog. She wrote beautiful emails to me about my writing and my life and the many things we shared in common and her battle with cancer, and then she learned how to leave a comment here on the blog and I was so happy to have her back in my life – this adult life, so many years after we graduated from high school.

She died last night.

It was shocking and unexpected. She had some complications and an infection started and, suddenly, it was over.

I am shocked and saddened and angry at what cancer has done to so many beloved people in my life.

Suddenly the post I had been working on lost its appeal. I am in mourning this week for dear ones who are no longer with us. I am filled with sadness for those who are left behind; left to grieve the loss of a parent, a grandmother, a wife.

Rest in peace, Corinne. Rest in peace, Mrs. Orr. I am blessed to have known you. You were everything that is good and honest and true. Thank you for being in my life.

ClaudiaSignature140X93

Comments

  1. Beautiful memories you have Claudia of your friends. I am very sorry you are having a sad week. Take care, Doris

  2. Claudia, every time Corrine and I had lunch she asked mi if I had read your blog yet… Well today I decided I needed to do just that. I’m so sad that I cannot talk to her about it You write so beautifully and I’m honored to say I went to school with you. Corinne was a wonderful caring loving friend and I’m trying to figure out how I will get along without her! Happy blogging, Pam

  4. Dear Claudia, I am so very sorry for the loss of your friends. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. xoxo,Susie

  5. So sorry that you are grieving the lost of two very important poepole in your life. It’s a sad day indeed. Thinking of your today and sending cyber hugs.

    XXOO

  6. It is not easy when friends must go
    And we must stay behind
    And God knows this too

    That is why he will stay close to thee
    to help you as we stumble through
    the vale of grief and fear

    Just trust nor asks to understand
    Then peace will come -at last

    hugs
    Carol Ann

  7. Claudia – so sorry to hear you have lost your dear friends – I sending you a hug and much sympathy. There are no words to take away the pain – just know you will be in my thoughts and prayers, as well as the families of your friends.
    Francine

  8. I am sorry for your losses. I can feel your pain. We are living through my brother-in-law’s struggle with cancer right now. He has decided that the surgeries and the fighting are done and now he is living and enjoying every day he has left with my sister and their lovely children. It is sad and wrenching and makes me feel hollow.

    II has been a devastating week here too…one of my best friend’s Linda lost her 23 year old nephew on Monday. He was very much a son to her and I can’t imagine the depth of the family’s suffering. J

  9. I am so sorry Claudia to hear of your sadness this week. Your post resonated with me as my best friend’s Mom has been (and, thankfully, continues to be) my Mrs. Orr. A number of people I work with are going through similar times…my boss and I both said that, unfortunately, it will become more so as we age. Fortunately we have wonderfully memories to help sustain us during these times. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  10. Dear Claudia, I am so sorry for your sadness and loss this week. I truly understand the pain and the heart ache and the emptiness. Please know all your friends are lifting you up in their thoughts and prayers. xxoo, Martha

  11. Dear Claudia, Thank-You for your timely post. I too am in mourning,as I lost my sweet beautiful 29 year old daughter just a couple of weeks ago. People tell me that time will pass, and memories will sweeten. Until that time we must cling to one another,and buoy one another up.Until we can again stand on our own! Thank- You for this post. -Judy A-

    • Dear Judy, my heart is breaking for you. I’ve sent you a private email, my friend. Much love, Claudia

  13. Oh Claudia! I’m so very sorry and saddened to hear of your loss of your two beloved friends. How lucky you are to have been blessed to have them in your life. What a gift to have someone so dear and as near a second mother to you and present throughout nearly your entire life. And how wonderful to be given the chance to rekindle a friendship from your youth and it be such a treasured one.
    Thank you so very much for your dearest and kindest of emails to me, while you have been experiencing your own sadness. Please know that I thinking of you and I am sending you lots and lots of hugs and a hand to hold, an ear to listen …
    Sally xo

  14. Losing two people so close together must be extremely hard. I’m so sorry for your loss, Claudia. Deb

  17. Claudia, I am so very sorry that you have had such a loss. I imagine it is that much more difficult because you are away from home, and the comfort there. Cancer is a everywhere, and I too hate it. It has taken so many people in life. However, when I think of the people cancer has taken I know that because having had the opportunity to have known them I am a better person. As always, Iwill keep you in my prayers.

  18. I am so sorry you are suffering from the loss of two very dear people. It never gets easier. Enjoy memories and take it easy. You are in my prayers.
    xo, Tana

  19. I’m so sorry Claudia. Loss is so hard. When you are close to someone it hurts even more. I really hate cancer. I am a survivor. It is getting scary now as others that have survived for many years are getting cancer from their treatments years ago. My treatment was just surgeries no chemo, so not worried about myself. Darn it, why can’t we find a cure. That poor little boy that died this week that was his daddy’s best man just recently. That’s just so sad. ANYWAY, I am not cheering you up, so I will stop. But so sorry, wish I could HUG you in person.

  20. You have indeed been blessed to have wonderful friends in your life. I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you a virtual hug.

  21. Sorry to hear the news. One of the things that was so memorable about my Mom’s death was the memories that all of our friends had of her. With four girls, there were always a bunch at our home (girls and boys) and they all had such fun, happy memories of the time spent with Mom and Dad at 20 North Ora. So, remember the good times.

    Judy

  22. My heart breaks for you and all those touched by these losses. I will hold you close in my heart and prayers.

    I HATE cancer.

  24. Claudia, I am so sorry for these two losses of people who were important in your life. I agree, even if they have lived a long life it does not make the loss any less. I know your heart is hurting today and I am so very sorry. Praying for you and your friends.

  26. I am so sorry for this pain. Losing those we love is agonizing. I am so happy you were blessed by these lovely people. Praying for you and these families.

  27. So sorry. Concentrate on the wonderful memories, and be thankful that those two women touched your life.
    nancyr

  29. I am so terribly sorry for your losses, Claudia. saying prayers for you and the others who have been left behind in their grief. xo Laura

  31. Heartache upon heartache. I’m so sorry for your losses, Claudia. Cancer is a terrible thing – it makes me angry.
    It gave me a start to see you writing about Mrs. Orr – that’s who I am, and who my mother-in-law is.

  32. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss Claudia. Cancer is just a hideous disease. It is terrible to lose anyone we love but there is something about that word “Cancer”. It is an invasive, cruel disease.

    I hope your memories of these lovely people give you some comfort at this very sad time.

    Blessings,
    Sue

  33. Oh my poor sister, I am so sorry for the losses you have had this week. Cancer is horrible and takes away so many people we love, we both know that.
    Sending you love,
    Mere

  35. I hate cancer too. Since my mom’s passing last fall of breast cancer, I have such a heightened awareness of how prevalent it is, and how many are touched by it’s tragic effects. :( So sorry to hear of the loss of your friend’s mother and your childhood friend Claudia. It makes no sense to me, and there’s nothing to shake a fist at. Know there are others who understand your pain, I truly get it. Be extra kind to yourself this week as you process.

  36. I am so sorry Claudia….unfortunately the older we get the more we hear of sickness and death. Try to look for the beauty in things everyday life has to offer. It helps to out things in perspective.
    Hugs, Patti

  37. I am so sorry for the loss of Mrs.Orr and Corrine. Two people who meant so much to you in the past, the present and surely the future as you remember good things about them. It doesn’t take away the pain of loss today. May you be lifted by your good memories. Ann

  39. I am so very sorry to hear of your losses Claudia..one of the hardest parts of getting older for me has been facing the loss of so many friends and family..I do understand what you are going through..Hugs

  41. Claudia, I’m so sorry for your losses. Losing loved ones/friends is never easy. I am so happy that you reconnected with your childhood friend, and that you have wonderful memories of she and Mrs. Orr to look back on… Donna

  43. Good Morning Claudia, This is such sad news to receive, not once but twice. and I am so sorry as it must be heartbreaking for you. I remember when we lost George’s father, our daughters travelled to our home, and after we cried and hugged each other, we sat and we talked about all the wonderful and funny things he had done in his life. He was a lovely husband, a wonderful father and a terrific grandad. We ended up laughing so much, that for that moment in time it took away the sadness and we remembered the man. We travelled to Newcastle to attend his funeral and the church was overflowing, people had to stand outside as there was no room inside the huge church. He had loved and touched so many people throughout his life, in the same way as Mrs Orr and Corrine had touched yours.
    I am sending my love and prayers to you.
    Best Wishes
    Daphne

  44. oh,Claudia, I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. It’s a horrible disease :-( I wish they would find a cure and a more humane treatment!

  45. I am sorry that you have lost these loved ones, but you were blessed to have had them in your life. It seems cancer is taking too many of our loved ones. I am a 18 year ovarian cancer survivor and I am so thankful that I beat this disease.

  46. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time. Memories will help sustain you.

  49. dear claudia
    i am sending gentle thoughts and hugs your way… your words are a beautiful tribute to the lovely people in your life. please know that you are in my prayers

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