Do you ever feel overwhelmed by everything? When all that needs to be done, or decided upon, or fixed, or tolerated, or accepted whirls around in your brain endlessly and the enormity of it all overwhelms you?
That’s where I am at the moment.
There’s so much to attend to. I’m not talking about Christmas – ours is usually fairly calm and simple. No, this involves life decisions; trying to create work that will bring in an income, while at the same time trying to live on considerably less than we have earned in the past, wrestling with all that needs to be fixed in this house and wondering where the money will come from, worrying endlessly about my parents and sometimes feeling so sad about them that I cannot bear it.
I tend to live in my head and that isn’t always good.
I’m a firm believer in the simple truth that we create our lives. That thoughts have power and that sending out positive thoughts and visualizing the end results we want to see in our lives will ultimately create those results. What you send out comes back to you. Simple, but profound.
But sometimes I get to a place where I am caught in a whirlwind of my own jumbled fearful thoughts and try as I might, I can’t find my way to the place I need to be.
What do you do when this happens to you? How do you break away from worry and take action? Any advice? I have a feeling I already know the answer but I’d love to hear your thoughts, my friends.
Claudia,
I have felt that way at so many times in my life. It can seem so overwhelming with so much requiring our attention. Sometimes all we can do is step away from the situation, breathe and find one small thing to take off the list and then move on to the next thing, taking tea or coffee breaks frequently. Oh, and pray. Patty
I feel like I am reading about myself. It can be overwhelming. I had a mini melt down last week and it was about all of this not Christmas. My only advice is to get out of the house…….that wasn’t helping me staying home worrying. But even that is hard if you are trying to watch pennies. Pray and just try to focus on what you have going on that is positive. It has been such a rough time for us lately and it seems to keep on coming. Find something to distract those thoughts…..Many (((((HUGS))))
Claudia, I feel that way from time to time; I call it `brain soup`.
I don`t have an answer for you though, usually it just passes without notice and suddenly I realize I`m back!
I hope you are right and already know what has to be done next.
S
xo
If someone has the perfect answer, I hope they will share it with all of us!
We are currently facing some of the same challenges you mentioned. I also felt so overwhelmed last year with all my health issues. I found trying to help others has helped me most. There is always someone hurting or needing even more. Also, I could not get by without my friends — in real life, or you and others in blogland. Spending time with them almost always brings a smile to my lips and peace to my heart.
When all else fails, I have my own pity party with a favorite treat like a peppermint chocolate chip milkshake or red velvet cupcake!
wow, I am the queen of wallowing in it. Not helpful. I usually have to take a leap that is really scary for me. And it turns out fine. Take one step, pick a part you can accomplish. Not sure about your parents, you are far away and I know from experience that talking on the phone can be harder than not. Honestly I give those really hard things to a higher power, only way I can cope some times. Sometimes just making a plan helps me. No strict must be done by just a plan. At these times I usually cannot do my normal fun things, but I find exercise, helps. lol I am so uncoordinated I have to concentrate so hard I can let the stress go. Hope any of this helped. I am sorry you are having such a time.
Hugs, Lisa
When my mom passed away earlier this year, my brother was feeling this way… it was time for someone to be the boss and take action, and so I did, because Daddy always said to just’ “pull yourself up by your bootstraps and do it”. Sometimes we humans tend to over think things rather than just do what we need to do. Be calm, be rational, write down what you need to do and act. Good luck!!
I know what you mean, Claudia. Sometimes, I just need to step back and think about what is important. And, most of all, I have to fall back on God. I couldn’t do it without Him.
Hello my name is Tina. I have been reading your wonderful blog for a year now and have enjoyed looking at life through your eyes. My life turned upside down on April 29. A happy day for William and Kate but a day that I will never forget. For the next 6 months the stress and depression was so bad my health started taking a turn for the worse, even my physical appearance. I was asking God for help the whole time when I realized that I was not fully giving him the problem and trusting him to take care of it. I had to let go. That was so hard. But in the past month, things are looking up including my health. Prayers have already been said for you!
I feel this way all too often. I think I just try and look at one day at a time instead of too far ahead which creates more worries and stress. I also go out for the day by myself and do something frivolous…like walk a flea market or antique shop, or sit in Barnes and Noble and read magazines. It helps elevate my mood at least. That’s my plan for today, as I feel completely burnt out.
Love your black and white dishes by the way…Emma Bridgewater? Hope you are feeling less overwhelmed soon!
Well… not all of your fears will come true.. most of the worst case scenarios you imagine won’t happen. So.. focus on one thing at a time. The one thing you can work on today, and sometimes it’s OK to walk away from it all and enjoy a day of nothing in particular that can be labeled “productive”. One foot in front of the other, looking at one thing at a time.
Oh do I know the feeling. I am living it too. Every day my mom gets up and she acts like she is 100 years old (she is 80). Money is tight when it shouldn’t be. So, sometimes I have my own pity party. My hubby reminds me to look around and see what I do have. A roof over my head, a freezer full of food, children and a husband who love me. It does help to take a step back and be thankful for what we have. Hugs
Amen. You are speaking to my heart here. I seem to get my best work done in the middle of the night, as that to is when I’m up worring most about all the Ps. Hang in there and I will continue to keep you and Mere in my thoughts and prayers.
Oh, Claudia, I feel like you wrote this just for me. I have been wandering around for days thinking I am so overwhelmed and don’t know where to begin. You are right, it goes beyond the Christmas season. There is much on our minds right now. I am not big enough or productive enough to make everything happen. The thing that keeps me going and knowing that I will be okay in the end – FAITH. I cling to it every day. Thanks for the post! Twyla
Thanks for coming by and liking the blue opaline drops on my chandy…it led me to your post here! I think you can get swallowed up sometimes and then those thoughts feed on each other. Stop and get a pad of paper and make some lists. Write down your Dreamer list (all the things that would be a fairytale if they came true) write down a Wish list (all the things you want to happen that would be nice if they did) write down a Sufficient list (the things in life that you have now that are not so bad…then take a moment to be grateful for the things on the sufficient list and indulge in the dreamer and the wish list. I agree that positive thinking is in order..you might just have to put pencil to paper to back to doing it.
i’ve heard the saying…worrying is praying bad shit to happen. in my case that has been true. when i decide to leave the peace i’ve created in my life and worry then i know i need to bring the focus back on me and realize that i’m the only person i have control over in the entire universe. this will usually calm me down and help me to do the next right thing in MY life. hope this makes sense.
Claudia, here is my answer to your SOS. Take an index card and write down something like this. “My parents have had a wonderful life together but now the pattern of their life has changed and they are traveling down a different road. Nothing is forever. Things change. I have accepted that.”
You know that there is nothing you can do about your parents’ situation. But you need to keep yourself above water here and find some form of peace among this turmoil that you’re experiencing.
If you do this, you will feel stronger and more in control of your thoughts because when our thoughts are out of control, not only is it painful but it’s disruptive!
Regarding your financial problems, just hang in there, Claudia. Things have a way of working out.
You are an educated, capable, accomplished woman and I know you would be a great asset to any employer. Something will come up sooner or later. A door will open for you. Even if it’s not in the arts, at least it will tie you over and get those repairs and most urgent bills paid and perhaps enable you to put aside a little nest egg.
My prayer for you and your family is this: “Dear Lord, keep the dark side away from them and fill them and surround them with Your light, love, wisdom, fortitude, peace, and joy.”
Hang in there, Claudia!
Dear Claudia
I know this situation very well. One thing that keeps me going is that deep inside I know I will be okay. I am a doer, which might help too.
I think that it helps to be rational although emotions kick in sometimes (mostly while driving). If they do let them be, but don’t let them rule your life.
I experienced that there is help in routines, like having breakfast, go for the same walk all day and and and …
I also read a book about Thomas von Aquin, who suggests to go swimming. Because you feel balanced in water and like in a mother’s womb. Maybe this doesn’t sound very rational, does it? Thomas also suggest to eat well. “Mens sana in corpore sana”.
Be creative, think out of the box, look for solutions, and make lists. What’s good, what’s not so good. Write down what makes you sad or threatens you.
If you have written down what’s on your mind, relax. Take a break from your sorrow now and then, because it is hard work to think about ones problems. Allow you to have a break. Go for a walk, feel the earth under your feet (barefoot although its not the appropriate saison perhaps). Read a book, a good story with a lot of wisdom in it. You can find solutions for your problem in books. Think of all the brave women who mastered their lives. There are so many, real heroins. Watch a movie.
Take care
Regula
Breathe… believe… receive…
This is just a little mantra that I repeat sometimes when I’m going through “stuff”.
Humor can be a good distraction too. You might giggle at this: http://littleneststudio.blogspot.com/2011/12/giggle.html
I sincerely hope that your worries will ease, sweet friend. Sending positive thoughts your way…
Hugs,
Jill
I find at times like this I have to unpack my thoughts and intentionally deal with them one at a time. Some things we have the power to change, and others we don’t. Losing our parents (or any loved one)is one of life’s most difficult things. Eternity has been written in our hearts, so we are never really reconciled to death and separation. But we can ensure that we have no regrets, then somehow we heal and go on. And concerning finances, I’ve learned (through losing most everything) that my income is determined by my outgo. As I give, it comes back ~ just enough and just when I need it. Thanks for being so honest and open Claudia ~ I’m sure it will help others as well. xo
A difficult post… difficult to say anything.
I understand your feelings , I understand loneliness, worries, financial problems, health issues.
I live in a country deep in crisis, my bank account is constantly at the edge of the red digits, my son is abroad and doesn’t speak to me much to say the least.
But all the same I feel lucky.
The first time I felt like that it was the day my Mum passed away. She died of an aneurisma and the surgeon told us thatit may have happened any time of her life fom childhood on.
That precise moment I felt something coming into me and I thought: I have been lucky cos she has been with me 40 years.
I have been lucky cos she brought me up and I knew her love.
That feeling has never let me and I still feel it.
I consider myself blessed to the highest degree and that’s what helps me every day.
I wish you to find your source of blessing. Best wishes, Rosanna
I hope that by the time you are reading this, the solution has presented itself. If not, may Duct Tape and hot cocoa tide you over
Claudia,
Several things help me when I am going through rough patches…this one sounds crazy, but I go in the shower and cry as hard as I can for as long as I need to. I always feel better afterwards. I also find that if I go for long walks it also helps to clear my mind and it also helps get rid of my nervous energy and makes me sleep better at night. It also helps me to talk things through with either my husband or adult daughter, whom I’m very close to. Jenndon
Start a vigorous daily walk.
It will jump start many things and help you to focus.
Also when I feel overwhelmed and worried I write things down.
To do list..goals etc..sometimes writing it gets it off of your mind and onto black and white and it looks less daunting!
Good Luck..these are such uncertain times we all are living in.
Hi Claudia,
I wish I had the words to help you through. Sometimes, we just do the best that we can, and hope that it will be enough, and often, in the moment, it is. The most important aspect of any day for me, is that I’ve brought love along. It sounds trite, I know, but truly, even when I wish I could do more, doing what I can, with love….I don’t know, I guess that brings me a measure of peace, and fewer regrets.
Claudia, I know this post is one of thoughts of worry, but I love your words. I didn’t want to stop reading. I wanted more. And the photos! Oh my word! That first one just blew me away!
Brenda
I have no magic solution, I wish I did because I am in a very similar place. My health continues to deteriorate, because of this I am not working myself at the moment, my husband is facing the possibility of redundancy in the New Year, we have frail parents living a long way off and needing our support, the house needs work, the dishwasher died, the list goes on. What I can say is that I find comfort in knowing that there is a sisterhood of women out there who, as you have found here, take time to lift me up when I am down. That fresh air, fresh fruit, fresh flowers (even if I forage for them in hedgerows) all play their part. And sleep. And chocolate. Be gentle on yourself, give yourself permission to set aside the cares you can do nothing about right now. Focus on the things you can solve and the things you can’t may yet to prove to have solutions you just couldn’t see while everything else was getting in the way. Hugest hugs from across the pond x
I went through this when my mom was sick for 4 years. Some days everything in addition to my moms illness would paralyze me ( never when I was at work- only on weekends) so this made me realize it was my idle mind worrying about too much at once. There is no magic answer. One thing that really helped me was forcing myself to go out and walk around with the dogs or go thrifting- or go sit in a bookstore. You will NOT come back home and say ” gee, I wish I hadn’t gone out” it will ALWAYS make you feel better. Sometimes you have to force yourself to put one foot in front of the other. Also try to do something creative- even if it’s cutting pictures out of magazines and gluing them into a notebook….sounds silly but very therapeutic!
XoXO
Robin
Claudia…I feel for you I think the first thing that might help you is to know your not ALONE…many of us are struggling with exact and similar life choices…some are easily fixed by DECIDING …CHOOSING…and then taking the next logical step…for the things we can’t control the Lord has taught me over time to lean into the …fear…heartache…the worry we find ourselves weighed down with…when I do …I find the helplessness evaporates…we can bear up under the weight of hard times….blessing to you Karena A Loblolly Life
Hello Dearest Claudia,
What a timely posting. As I lie here on my bed today with my knee completely frozen and in awful pain. Went to the ER yesterday and was told the only solution is a total knee replacement and I no longer have health insurance. So, what do I do?? Well, as a former counselor, I know that a pity party is okay briefly, but really I have to change the way I look at things and that means I have to think positively. So I have asked for prayer from everyone I know, I have prayed, and now I am researching solutions. I have a lot of other problems besides this one, but I am taking them one by one, and this is obviously the most important one at the moment. So, my suggestion is that you take care of one thing at a time and know that you have people that care about you and God is always there for you.
Hugs,
Laura
I’ve been where you are. I dealt with my father’s cancer and death at a relatively young age. I dealt with my mother’s Alzheimer’s disease for 20 years. I have dealt with my son’s depression, and the sudden, accidental death of my beautiful three year old grandchild. What helps is praying, and knowing that your sadness and sometimes, despair will pass.
You will find relief when you try to balance the bad with the good. I have a loving husband, wonderful children, six healthy, intelligent grandchildren, a house I love, not a lot of money, but enough, and can find happiness knowing that my parents are with my grandson, and that we will all be together one day.
Sure, I get the blues, from time to time, but I get over it by reminding myself that life is good, and we have more than enough.
I learned to be frugal when I was a divorced mother of three and money was short. I devoured books like “The Tightwad Gazette” and listened to Dave Ramsey on the radio. I have learned so much about living on less, and taking pride in my accomplishments. Blogs like “Money Saving Mom” and “Common Sense with Money” help me find items I need,or want to give, for very little or even free. Fortunately my husband and my son are very talented at fixing things, but one can learn to do things by reading. I built a picket fence and built and installed a gate. That was such a proud moment for me, since I was then a single mom and had virtually no experience building anything.
This too, shall pass.
nancyr
I see from your next post that you’re already feeling better–I’m so glad. Here’s what really works for me when I get too much in my head: I get moving! Walking, painting my dollhouse, folding laundry, washing dishes, you see what I mean! :-)
I just found your blog, but I love the idea of living in a smaller house. We were forced to downsize a few years ago. We lost our house, my husband became disabled, and we thought we would have to live with my daughter. But, God is faithful. My husband applied for disability and God worked a miracle because it takes most people years to get disability. Our funds showed up in our bank one night when I was checking our balance. We were led to the right people to make this happen.
The worse thing you imagine will happen probably won’t happen! If God is for you…who can be against you. Faith can move mountains. Find a church where you can find God. We did and it has made all the difference. We still have less money, I have no healthcare insurance, but, we are happy to be living in our condo and not at my daughter’s house. I am happy for sewing jobs that bring me extra cash. I am even giving sewing lessons to “newbies”. God will make a way just pray for his help.
Sorry, this was long, but I am southern and it takes a gal from the south a little longer. blessings Lee
Claudia, I missed this post, but backtracked so I could read it. I have awful issues with anxiety and depression so I know how it is to lay down and let it take you. I find that I feel better when I take action, particularily helping someone else who could use a cheerleader or just a shoulder. And exercise, if I didn’t have a gym close by where I can huff and puff, I would have taken up speedwalking (may still do that!) / Exercise really takes the jitters out of me. Best wishes to you and enjoy that hot cocoa. Ann
Claudia, I’m sorry I just now had a chance to catch up on your blog. I truly understand this posting. This is what I do…first I think about those who are dealing with circumstances much worse than mine…then my husband and I agreed to take every opportunity to earn an income that came our way (for instance my 5 year old daughter and I raked leaves for a lady for 7 HOURS. she paid us $50. It bought groceries!)…then I look for something I can do for someone else…next I tell myself that I truly only have THIS moment so if I use it correctly (make the most of it)I will take the next moment and do the same thing. One minute at a time. So…that’s what I do. I dont know if it helps any or not. Since 2008 we have been dealt some difficult blows. Things that have broken our heart and almost shattered our will to keep moving on. I see others talking about their hard times too. Life is so hard. There are no easy answers. Try to think positive thoughts and stay busy with things for others. Sometimes money and ideas come to you from the most unexpected places. Keep your eyes and heart open. I know there is an answer for you. Waiting is the hard part. xo rachel
You have great photography skills. What about starting a photography business or uploading a friend’s images to etsy and managing their sight for a small fee.
You are great with pets. Would you be able to start a pet care service such as dog sitting through the day.(Computer is doing something weird. I hope my comment goes through).Sell things on Etsy. OH well, you get the idea…I’m rambling. xo rachel
Claudia,
I understand the place that you describe having been there many times in my life. Sometimes when feeling overwhelmed, I need to step back, take a walk with my hubby and my pups, remember to breathe and then eventually I will feel peace. My walks connect my soul to the creator.
When the weather is right, I will get outside in my garden and begin digging in the soil and then the sadness will lift. Sometimes I just need to walk through it, feel what I need to feel and then eventually the fear resides. I’ve found that if I get really busy and force myself to think positive thoughts etc. etc. that sometimes it’s another form of denial.
None of us has the answers because we all find that for ourselves, but we are here for you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your honesty. Your answers will come, the sadness and fear will lift and the sun will shine brightly again.
Sending you big cyber (((hugs)))
~Sandy