I’ve been thinking about the word ‘shed’ lately. Not the outbuilding. The verb. As in ‘to discard.’ This is due partly to my being a bit more housebound than usual, which has resulted in my looking around the house and deciding to get rid of some things. Things I simply don’t need and things I’ve grown out of. I was going to say that when you live in a small house anything superfluous really stands out, but I have a feeling that is true of any house, big or small.
I want to gather those objects that I no longer need, that no longer ‘fit’ me, and I don’t just mean clothes, and pass them on. Shed them.
I think that part of what we do as we grow and mature is try on new activities, new hobbies, new clothes, new ‘ideas’ of ourselves. We eagerly embrace the new thing and sometimes it sticks and sometimes it doesn’t. I’ve certainly had that happen with clothes. Some look, some style that I thought was absolutely perfect for me turns out, in the long run, to be completely wrong for the real me. Like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. I’m a jeans and T-shirt kind of girl. That’s me.
It’s probably why people re-decorate. A style that seemed ‘you’ for so long eventually is no longer ‘you.’ It doesn’t fit right. You’ve changed and your look has changed. You shed the old for the new.
If I took the time, I could make a long list of things I embraced that I was absolutely sure were me. And weren’t.
There was a time when I wanted to read all the classics, as well as all the weighty tomes reviewed in the New York Times Book Review every week. I wanted to be thought of as an intellectual. Turns out I like fiction, especially mysteries and thrillers, and the occasional biography. Everything else? Not so much. So, though I consider myself well read, I came to terms with the real me’s reading preferences and I shed an ‘idea’ that didn’t fit.
I’ve tried on a few things since I started blogging simply because I was entranced by the beauty of the crafts I saw others create, or the charming look of the homes I saw every time I clicked onto a new site. I thought I could be a certain kind of crafter. I could make little boxes or charming things from old fabrics and lots of laces and trims. In fact, I did make a few of those things. But eventually, I tired of them because they weren’t really me. They didn’t fit. I’m shedding them.
Likewise with the blog; trying to make it anything other than what it already is in order to bring in more income simply doesn’t fit. It isn’t being true to the real me, the voice behind every post for the last six years. So, as much as I’d like to earn more income, I value the place I have created here on the web far too much to change anything.
Trying out new ideas, new activities, new anything is vital to our growth. I also think that admitting that something no longer fits or feels right is equally vital. Each time I do something like that, I feel I come to know myself more deeply. I accept who I am. It’s freeing.
Are there things, whether ideas or three-dimensional, that you have shed?
Happy Tuesday.
Good Moring Claudia! A timely post, at least for me, as I am contemplating shedding/ridding myself of some things. I love to cook and I have a lot of pans and “things” that I just never use. They are taking up cabinet space. Some items are from my Grandmother’s house or were my Mom’s. Those are the most difficult to get rid of due to my emotional attachment to them. I’m hoping to pawn off some on my son – ha-ha…we’ll see if he goes for it (fingers crossed). And books! Those that I have read and know that I will never read again (way too many others that I haven’t read and want to) I have been donating. I used to be the type of person who started a book and then would finish it no matter what — even if I didn’t enjoy it. No more! There is too little time in life to enjoy those things/books/items I truly love. I’m hoping to get to some of the cabinets this week, but evenings seem to get swallowed up by things (I love) other than “chores!”
I truly understand the emotional attachment dilemma. I have several things that I don’t actually want, but are items from family members. No storage space to speak of; what to do?
Once again Claudia you have given me something to think about with this post. I have shed many things through the years that were once what I considered little treasures. I think it’s because as I’ve matured things I once thought important no longer seem that way. I have tried over and over to decorate our home in a way that is less cluttered looking, less framed photos and less books. But every time I get tired of that look and find myself once again using the things I love to have around me. I have rarely gotten rid of anything and regretted it. I think that as our personalities change the things we like and need change. I have often found the act of getting rid of things we no longer used to be quite freeing. Think I’ll get up and see what can be donated.
I deal with much the same thing. A lot of the things that I love surround me, but sometimes I can feel overwhelmed by them.
Right now I am shedding hair which is really getting on my nerves. :)
I am ever trying to figure out my style.
I no longer worry about what anyone else thinks. I just do me!
Have a great day.
Tammy
Boo to shedding hair!
Hi Claudia, love your term “shedding”! For the last several years I’ve just been calling it “simplifying” and that worked for awhile then more recently the term “uncluttering” seemed to be my mantra. Many of my friends are “downsizing” which usually means moving to smaller living spaces. Since our home fits us, I think I will try “shedding” some more items and habits as I realize that less is actually more!
Enjoy your day!
You too, Kelly!
Oh wow, Claudia. You have touched on something I’ve been thinking about more and more lately. Though, I’ve not called it ‘shed’ or ‘shedding’– it is the same thing. Since both our mothers have passed (mainly since my dad sold the house) and then Honey’s mom passed– I’ve acquired things which at the time I believed were sentimental to me. While giving it thought– I’ve come to recognize absolute favorite items. Like my FIL’s Red-Frog planter. It makes me smile :) A lot of things I have in my home are handed down to me– but many things, I’ve found out just aren’t me.
I know that while blogging I realized– the true me, likes COLOR. I couldn’t make myself fit into the shabby chic- tone on tone look. When I finally came to understand that– a weight was lifted off me. I was able to relax more in my home.
Shedding things in the home or in your life is important– but we live in a society that is commercially driven; the goal for most is to have more. I grew up in the 6 Million Dollar Man generation– when the phrase was “Stronger, Better, Faster.” I think the acquisition of stuff and the acquisition of emotional baggage — makes us ‘weaker, unhappy, and slower. Well it does me anyway.
I love having these little chats!
Pat
Tricky with things from family members, isn’t it? My dad just sent me some things of my mom’s that I really don’t have room for and also don’t remember. I’m not sure what to do with them.
Claudia, I’ve been thinking about the same subject, mostly as it relates to crafting and the hoard of craft supplies that so many of us have.
But that’s not what made me comment- it was what you said about wanting to read the classics and be thought of as an intellectual. Me, too. Only I’m not. I’m not dumb, but I’d really rather read detective books and thrillers than more Dickens. And I figure at my age, I can read whatever I want.
Amen, Beth! I feel the same way.
Claudia, I love how you put it as ‘shedding’! Perfect for me. I’ve gathered so many things into my life and home and now I’ve moved on. I have been purging for over a year but there is still so much to still shed! I am finding my small home so cluttered now and I need to make it simpler. I am aiming to keep what I love and need and shed much of the rest that as you say ‘is no longer me’. I will never be a minimalist but less for me would be soothing. I need my home to be my calm place.
hugs,
Linda
Me too, Linda. Once I’m feeling better, I’m going to start to sort through things.
I am also trying to shed some things mentally..things that happened long ago..things that are done and over with and need to be forgotten..
I understand. I have some of that to do as well.
Hi…I have read your blog for a long time and now want to join the conversation….I find that once you shed the things you do not miss them at all….in fact you don’t even remember you had them. We live in a small town and we have a small library that has a bench in front. People leave things on the bench that they no longer want and if someone wants or needs it they take it…..seems to work out very well. I get more pleasure out of giving stuff away instead of trying to sell it etc. Love your book blog also…
I love the idea of that bench. Thanks so much for commenting today!
Shedding is a good word. I thought of our dogs and when they shed, and how happy they are after being combed/ brushed and then they shake it all off!! It is indeed a good thing for all of us to shed the stuff that bogs us down. We all come to that moment of realization at different times, and it is as if a light bulb turns on. At 64 I think I finally understand the saying that we need to stop fretting over all the little stuff……… and, seriously, most of it really IS little stuff that can drive us crazy!! I love the feeling of “lightness” that I feel as we take the bags and boxes to the donation center. And it is fun to know that many of our discarded things will become a treasure for someone else now. Have a great day, Claudia!!
I am determined to do some sorting and donating, Chris.
Thanks for your timely post! I too am going through a time where I am re-evaluating and purging. I’m working on purging not only material things, but negative people, negative thoughts and negative habits! How’s that for a mission! As for the material possessions, I love our little house and every thing that surrounds us, but am finding, as I get older, that I’m feeling weighted down with it all. When I really think about it, my younger more impressionable self, added things to possibly impress or emulate someone else. I now want to live MY life just being me. I found that starting to purge has been a very freeing experience!
I have done that myself. I don’t want negative people in my life and/or negative energy. Been there, done that. And I’m trying to work on staying positive, not negative or fearful.
Thought provoking post this morning; thank you. I’m pondering the difference between discarding and then starting all over again with the same but new versus truly shedding.
Very interesting point, Linda.
What a great question! Well, I’ve never had a home filled with dozens of goodies. I like it better when most things are stored away out of sight, though I do “decorate” bookshelves etc with family pictures and certain special objects. I’ve been cleaning out drawers, cabinets and cupboards since retiring, finding lots of things I haven’t used in a long time. Or ever. Things I bought only because I thought I might need them. Also lot of books I enjoyed but know I won’t read again. So I’m boxing them up for my SIL’s garage sale or for the local women’s shelter, to help someone else with a new start.
It feels good to sort through things, Janet. I have so much paperwork to sort through, it’s ridiculous!
Claudia, you are right on time with this topic. I have been “shedding” for about a year now. It is tough as I was raised to keep everything because “you do not know when you will need it”. After helping a few friends move stuff after their parents died I have come to the realization that it is all just stuff. I have stuff the 2 of us love, but there is a lot of stuff that has been handed down that means absolutely nothing to either one of us. At first it was hard to get rid of it, the guilt was intense. But once it was out of the house it was forgotten about. Now I have no more guilt. I figure just as I love finding treasures while out thrifting, someone else will love finding those items. If you want to save the memories take a picture of the item, write a note about why it gives you such happy memories, then put it in the donation box. You love the memory, not the item.
I want to really eliminate things this year.
Great post…thought-provoking! And the term shedding…it’s perfect! I used to think I was well read…but the bottom line is…I almost exclusively currently read mystery, thrillers, spy adventure novels. There I said it…I’m not well-read, and I don’t care.
The hardest things to shed, however, seem to be my mom’s and MIL’s treasures. I guess because of the emotional attachment. I have my mom’s blessing to donate some of her things…I always ask first, and she always asks me…but, why don’t you want it? And, I hem and haw around, trying to gently say it isn’t my taste, or I don’t have room for all your things. It’s difficult to say the least. But, it’s emotionally freeing to box them up, and take them to a local charity, so that they can become someone else’s treasures.
It’s sort of nice to know, I’m not alone in this. ;)
You are definitely not alone!
Oh, I’ve been shedding for a while now. It feels good doesn’t it? At least after it’s finally gone and you don’t have to feel guilty anymore. I find out of sight out of mind. The shedding will be continual. As you said, we continue to grow and change. I think that keeps life interesting. I don’t want to waste my time taking care of stuff that we do to need anymore. For a long time I would read blogs and think wow, maybe I should do that. Oh forget it. Truth be known my crafting days are history. I don’t want to deal with cleaning up glitter or glue. And fabric, I hate sewing. Cooking more that six steps, go to the next recipe.
Mine crafting days are definitely much less than before and I figure I can always buy something if I need it, right?
I tend to sit on both sides of the fence regarding keeping found treasures or purging them. Several years ago, my husband and I down sized our belongings tremendously. It was “sad” at first, then gratifying to feel pounds lighter. I love the idea one poster shared of her town having a “giving bench”! When the weeks turned into days before our move across the U.S. we had quite a few treasures left and just knew someone would love to have them. We would put a few things out on the sidewalk daily with a note to take and enjoy and by nightfall, everything would be gone. Nothing was left to take to the thrift store :-) I have a unique system for collecting items now…it has to be small enough to fit inside a 2 gallon jar. The jar holds an array of goodies representing the many years we have been together…an old hotel key from a place from when we splurged and spent an anniversary, a solid perfume compact my mother gave me on my wedding day, an original Beatles lapel pin, my granny’s opera glasses, a miniature ouija game…on rainy days, we sometimes pour out the contents and take a waltz down memory lane :-) The jar is a conversation piece we keep out on the bookcase. This summer we had some teen aged visitors and the jar was intriguing to those kids! The one item they were most fascinated with? My husband’s old transistor radio–aqua and white :-)
That jar is such a neat idea, Jeannine! Good for you.
Today’s topic was written with me in mind. I am not calling it shedding, I call it purging.
I thought I would collect pottery to pass on to my son. I have found that I don’t really like it. I have a few pieces that I will keep, but I won’t be getting anymore. I have several things of Roseville, Haeger, and Hull, and McCoy. I will keep them, but put them away for my son. I like small things.
I still have all of my mom’s collections, all of them, every piece of them. And there are many. But, I can’t part with them.
I am purging lots of things from the kitchen. The bedroom. Clothing. Every week I have 2 -3 bags for the thrift store. Purging is good for the mind if not the heart.
I bet it’s good for both, Trudy!
The first half of our life we accumulate “stuff” and the second half we try to be rid of it. I found that to be true with some things I considered treasures, and still do for that matter, but when my oldest came home I gave her those lovely china dishes that I had only used once in all these years. For the most part they collected dust on the top shelf of the cupboard because I didn’t have a china cabinet to display them. I thought maybe she would put them to better use than I did, but they sit in her cupboard basically doing the same thing they did in mine. I then tried to give more “stuff” to her and her sister and a few things they took, other things they refused. I guess you really realize what is important in life when you lose a spouse, or loved one. Nothing holds value as it once did when there is no one to share it with. That is when you wake up to what really matters in this life. The creature comforts are okay, the little trinkets may be memories, but real comfort is having a loved one to hold you and say how much they love you.
(((HUGS))) Susanne :)
Hi Claudia,
I’m in the same sort of mood. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if, like the Amish, and the women of olden times, we could go to each other’s house and help each other shed things? Like canning or quilting we could share the chore and maybe even find a place for that item that we didn’t really want to throw away, but didn’t have room for? I long to simplify my life, but for some reason things keep complicating it. Argh.
Clara
I shed a whole lot two years ago when I moved here. I think my shedding days are over. Except for my hair:)