In a desperate attempt to find something that is not the usual photo on the blog, Claudia wanders the kitchen and comes up with this. (Note that this wall has yet to be painted yellow.)
On top of the cabinet, which is what I was concentrating on: two Fiesta mixing bowls from my former collection (I saved my favorite pieces) and a Fiesta gravy boat. Sheep: salt and pepper shakers and another one given to me by a friend. A fisherman from our long ago Dept 56 collection that Don always thought looked like him. A McCoy vase. A McCoy pot planted with pothos. An old tin that I found at the Country Living Fair.
And for those of you who said I should use my great-grandmother’s china…
In addition to our everyday china, I have yet another set of “good” china that I fell in love with several years ago. After searching for the pattern, I happened upon a guy selling all of this on eBay. And he lived in New York State. I love this set.
But it’s on display. I use some pieces occasionally, but it basically lives here in the cabinet. As my great-grandma’s set will live in the cabinet in the den.
We eat our dinner on trays in the den. We rarely use the kitchen table. We got into the tray thing years ago and we like it. Since we spend great chunks of the day together, it’s not as if we have to meet up at the dinner table to discuss our day. We’re discussing throughout the day.
Also, I do not like to entertain. I didn’t inherit that gene. When I do entertain, I feel incredibly stressed. This house is small and it gets tight with just Don and me, let alone others.
But to be honest, I’ve never been comfortable entertaining. I’m solitary, remember? I like my quiet and my routine. It’s amazing that I somehow managed to let Don into my life. (Best thing I ever did!) Since he feels more or less the same way, though he’s definitely more social than I, we are fine the way we are.
I also don’t like to go to parties. I’ve had a lifetime of cast parties and opening night parties and closing night parties and I usually do my duty and make an appearance, but I can’t wait to leave and breathe fresh air and not have to make small talk or shout over the noise. I can’t wait to get out of my fancier duds and put on jeans and a t-shirt or, better yet, my flannel pajamas.
When I work as a coach, I’m surrounded by lots of people all of the time, lots of energy, and lots of noise. The same can be said of my years teaching. So when I get home, I crave quiet. I am capable of being social and charming and chatty, but I much prefer the opposite. I’m an introvert, I guess.
Though Don would certainly say I’m chatty at home and I suppose I am. “Solitary but chatty…” see blog sidebar.
You can better see the pattern of the dishes in this photo of a serving dish.
I’ve got china and pottery everywhere in this house, stashed on shelves, stashed in cabinets, on tables, on desks, on top of the kitchen cupboards.
A couple of days ago, we finally managed to shovel the far side of the parking area near the shed where Don usually keeps his car. He’s been having to park in the driveway. We were too sick at the time to shovel it out and then we kept getting those storms with ice and it became impossible to shovel. Too many layers of ice. After freeing my car last week, we cleared the other side and salted it on Saturday. Don was finally able to park his car normally. As for yesterday’s snow clean-up, Don ended up shoveling the driveway and I shoveled the parking area. More salt was put down knowing that we had a big freeze coming last night. All is clear!
It will be very cold for the next three days and then it will gradually start to warm up. Next week, temperatures will be in the forties, which seems positively balmy.
I’ve seen robins for the past few days and I heard the call of mourning doves both yesterday and today. Spring is coming.
Happy Tuesday.
My thoughts on parties, crowds, and entertaining, exactly! (My Mom says that when I was a child, I cried when I was invited to birthday parties!) The embarrassment of that fact has kept me acting as though I’m okay whenever I can’t escape a party or social situation. But as I age, I’m more and more immune to what people may think of my solitary-ness. I feel like I’ve fought it as long as I can. Good to know I’m not the only one.
You are not the only one!
Shanna and Claudia, me, too! I can be chatty and charming at social gatherings, and people often wonder why I think I’m shy. Now I feel I’m not so much shy, but prefer solitary-ness, and the company of truly good friends whom I see in smaller groups of 1-6. Then, I’m fine.
We understand!
Raising my hand here!! My husband says my favorite plans are ones that are cancelled. I always need alone time to recharge after spending time in bigger groups. I look back at my working years and wonder how I did it. Entertaining can nearly bring me to my knees now. I’m glad I have finally come to terms with being an introvert. Wish it hadn’t taken me nearly 70 years to do so!!
Don always says the same thing!
We’re conditioned to think we should be extroverts, but that’s false. There’s room for all of us!
Your description of you sounds just like a description of me! I have never liked going to parties, and the thought of giving a party is enough to make me ill. We, too, like eating on our TV trays in our sunroom. I used to wish I were more outgoing, but now I agree with Shanna’s comment above. I think we are fortunate to enjoy and be content with our own company. Don’t you?
I do, indeed! Thanks, Dottie!
I can totally relate to how you feel about being solitary. I had to be social at the corporate events or conferences I attended for so many years. It was always stressful – it was real work for me to make small talk with strangers. I’m a home body for sure. But I do like to entertain my friends and family. I love putting together a beautiful table and meal and having everyone around. I heard mourning doves this morning as well.
Mourning doves! Thank heavens!
i thank God for my family for endless reasons, including that they (and my friends) know that i am very much an introvert. not so much with them because my love for them overrides the introverted exhaustion, but they know my job as a social worker takes a lot of energy out of me so they give me time and space to recharge. God bless them all! five days a week i deal with dozens and dozens of people every day about their problems and hear lots of need and lack, abuse, sadness, conflict, anger and negativity (i work in a place where people live and there’s the unrealistic expectation of an open-door policy [rather than appointments] along with the need to do my duties, which include outreach). when i get home, i want to get into my pajamas and relax in a quiet place … but i don’t often do that because i love my family and want more than pajamas to spend time with them in person or by phone (i live alone) … so i go for a walk outside by myself (even when it’s been 20 degrees below zero) for an hour or so to switch gears and shake off the hard parts of my job, then visit my family or go home, put on my pajamas, call them and feel better. as for parties, most of my friends are pretty introverted, too, so no one does much hosting; instead, we have visits over a meal or drink somewhere quiet and then each go our separate ways. :)
all that to say i appreciate and relate to your post very much! thanks for sharing.
kathy in iowa
ps: the china is all beautiful.
ps again: even though social work is not my “dream job” (but fits with my values), i thank God that i have a job, too.
xo
ps again: just re-read my first comment and want to clarify that my friends and i do not “drink somewhere quiet” but go someplace quiet for a meal or a drink. maybe i need to re-read what i write before i click to post a comment … haha.
xo
We are so far from our families that we really no longer know what it must be like to have family around. My family is spread out; Illinois, Michigan, Wisconsin and Florida. We haven’t lived near one another since we were young adults.
But even when I was growing up in our small house with 4 kids and two adults, I needed to be able to retreat to my room. I spent hours and hours in there.
been there … jobs and schooling kept my family spread out halfway across the country from each other for about twelve years. that was hard and i hated it, swore never again. not possible for everyone, i know.
good to have space and a secure place, even amidst lots of love, isn’t it?
glad when books like “quiet” came out and helped bring awareness and support for us introverts.
hope you all have a good night.
going with members of my family to hear some apollo astronauts talk in town tomorrow. will be good. and it will be crowded so i will be glad to have the rest of the day off and recharge at home. :)
kathy in iowa
Enjoy your time with your family, Kathy!
What a nice cabinet you have that so beautifully displays the dishes you love. It’s lovely to see entire collections surviving, still loved by family. Awful person that I am, I declined my mom’s and mother-in-law’s china, but have pieces of grandma’s. We like informal gatherings so never even used our wedding china which I finally gave away a couple yrs ago. Still, I do have pieces of the past that are so full of meaning for me (like mom’s Fostoria dishes and glasses which only came out for her two bridge clubs). I’ve always been on the lookout for a nice cabinet to put the odds and ends I have in some day.
Claudia, since I first discovered this lovely blog of yours I have always identified with your “solitary person who is chatty.” There was never a time when I wasn’t happy in my own company. Didn’t even find someone I could live with until I was 34. Since then, due to his career, I’ve attended many dinners/receptions that I refer to as “wife of” events. I was there because I was married to the guy who lobbied in DC for the arts, ran the state Arts Board, state sesquicentennial celebration, the non-profits, etc. In the late eighties, back in our DC days, I was sitting on the sidelines at a reception on Capital Hill (was 9 months pregnant and standing was hard) when in came Senator Ted Kennedy with THE Martha Graham on his arm. I couldn’t believe it when he proceeded to sit down right next to me – but I was the only other one sitting at the time. We had the nicest conversation and I treasure memories like that, but I’m still happiest at home in my old jeans. Parties/receptions are exhausting.
I didn’t find Don until I was 41! I thought I’d never be able to live with someone. I suspect Don is the only guy I could share my space and time with. He honors my need for solitude and is a terrific source of support.
Love your story about Ted Kennedy and Martha Graham! Wonderful!
I see I should have proofed my comment. I mean to say he sat HER down next to me. He stood nearby. She was one of the guest of honors that day which was the main reason I waddled up there to join Dean at the shindig.
Ah. Doesn’t matter – they were both right there with you!
It’s beautiful. All of it. There’s something about that top photo that makes me really happy. Warm. Cozy. Sheep and Fiesta. No arguments there!
I’m basically a big believer of the “use it” school, even on trays in front of the telly, which is how I tend to eat weekdays; weekends when Rick is here I do the table. I love setting the table but just don’t do it for myself. But I still eat on the good stuff sometimes. Well, the good stuff is the old stuff, but yes. Because I’m worth it! I have a couple of hardly-ever-use sets (one is very old; the other very formal.)
I get what you mean about parties and such. I’m not good at parties. I’m good when they are parties of just good friends. Because — they are good friends. I hate, hate, hate being places where I don’t know people; where I have to make an “effort.” What’s weird is from working I learned how to work a room better than anyone. I could handle open houses, live tapings, donor and fundraiser events like a champ. But put me in as Jeanie and not WKAR Jeanie and that’s a much more pulled back person. I love to entertain in my little house — but just people I really like. Weird, that. And when I spend summer at the lake, I’m by myself except when Rick can get up there or I invite a friend. I love the solitude when I can read and paint and felt and draw and not have to talk!
So glad you are digging out of the snow. We’re headed East this weekend. Massachusetts. Keep your fingers crossed for good traveling weather.
I will. I don’t see any problems on our forecast this weekend, so hopefully, your journey will be an easy one.
When I was teaching in Boston and I had the summer off, I could spend weeks on my own, walking around, having the occasional chat with neighbors or shopkeepers. Lots of solitude. And it helped prepare me for the school year ahead.
You write with such sensitivity about the facets of introversion. I noticed one piece of broken red china having its own space around it. Introversion is not brokenness. It just needs its space.
My interpretation is not yours.
I live in a very small Mississippi town. It is so conservative that, my introversion serves me well.
Enjoy your day
I think you misunderstand me – or I didn’t make myself clear. I have no problems with my solitary tendencies, or introversion. I’ve always been very comfortable in my own skin and love and need my time alone. Nothing broken about it. In fact, I embraced it long, long ago.
I’m sure living in a conservative town tends to make you keep to yourself, Mary. I understand.
No, but you might have misunderstood what I said. : )
“Introversion is not brokenness. It just needs its space.
My interpretation is not yours.”
I saw it. The way you’ve written it implies that I think introversion indicates brokenness – “your interpretation is not mine.”
Or did you mean your interpretation is not that of others?
Anyway, let’s just leave it. I always appreciate your comments, Mary.
I agree with you concerning entertaining. I like to keep a routine and have my own time to do what I want. All of your china is beautiful.
Marilyn
Thank you, Marilyn!
I love the pale blue china with the floral design in the middle. Would you mind sharing its name and/or maker?
All I know is that the maker is Edwin Knowles. I never learned the name of the pattern.
Thanks!
You sound just like me…solitary but chatty. But not small talk – ugh. I do like people and I like to be with my friends (one on one or small group) and family, but then I’m worn out and can’t wait to get back home and put my pajamas on and just be alone! I’m sure you’ve done the Myers-Briggs type test at some point over the years. By any chance, are you an INFJ? That’s what I am.
You know I never took that test! I’ll have to check it out.
I’m always worn out after something like that, too!
You can take the test at http://www.16personalities.com. Let me know…now I’m curious! :-)
Thanks!
INFJ-T Advocate
Same! I always thought I recognized a lot of the same qualities. ;-)
xo
I jumped the gun when I responded to Shanna’s comment, as I realized when I read all the comments! Seems there are so many of us non-social butterflies out there. Perfectly friendly and lovely people who prefer a less frenzied social life. (I have a friend who goes out at least four evenings a week.). What if we had a get-together? I’d bet we’d have so much to talk about. Wait, we get together almost daily here at Claudia’s blog!
Claudia, I love your dishes and pottery and all things clay-based. I have my everyday very plain (all white) dishes, and five sets of better dinnerware. I’ve decided to pull them out and use them, in rotation, as I am sidling towards Jeanne’s opinion of “use it”. I’m on my third day of declutter, and stuff is all over my table for sorting! Today, I’m concentrating on candles…far too many and I don’t use them anymore due to curious cats; stationery supplies, really do I need an entirely drawer of post-it notes?; cookbooks, I’m donating a shelfload; and print photos…tossing bad shots and some duplicates. It feels good to see 2/3 of a cabinet emptied, and the donation and recycling piles growing!
It’s always so satisfying to declutter! Have fun, Wendy!
I think I’ve always been a little introverted. I am an only child….I think that might have something to do with it. Being surrounded by adults, more than siblings, I was my own playmate. But, as I grew older, I used to really enjoy parties…and meeting other people…maybe, because I was an only child.
These days, we don’t go to parties. Not even our neighborhood holiday events capture our interest. I figure I can visit with neighbors as I putz in the yard…oh, I can’t wait to putz in the yard! When we do entertain…oh, that word sounds so formal….it’s usually just a few close friends or family. I’ve definitely become more of a homebody as I get older. While I still love to travel, I love coming home even more. If that makes me more of an introvert…so be it.
I totally understand using dining trays….we often eat in the living room, too. Sometimes, it’s just simpler. Especially since now it’s just the two of us. It’s been fun reading all the comments. Enjoy the rest of your day! ;)
I was already a homebody, but it seems I’m even more so as I get older! Thanks, Donnamae!
As I’ve gotten older I’m much more of an introvert. I do like to get together with friends and family, but value my quiet and alone time very much. Sara calls me a friendly introvert. As my life gets crazier and crazier I need my quiet time even more! I love all the vintage pottery and china but I am starting to downsize a bit more.
I absolutely need my quiet time. I don’t even turn on the television during the day, unless something big is happening. Quiet is beautiful.
Same here no TV until evening. Quiet IS beautiful.
xoxo
The only time my TV goes on during the day is to watch Jeopardy. I’m a huge fan/nerd. ;-)
I am too, but it’s not on during the day here.
Robins and earthworms on our morning walks! The foot of snow somehow disappeared once the temps rose to forty degrees. Winter may not be over, but spring has her foot firmly in the door.
Our temps won’t rise to 40 degrees until next week. Wind chills of below zero right now! But spring is around the corner.
You’ve seen robins?…how wonderful !…I must start watching for them too…I think that seeing a robin might do a good bit to cheer me up after this awful Winter!!
I saw one trying to make a hole in the snow to find some food!
Progress is being made by you and by the earth. Spring is a good time to feather your nest, even if at the urging of a cracking support. :-). We haven’t seen robins yet here, but I’m hoping. At a friend’s house on Tuesday, I saw my first ever Redpoll bird, a type of finch. Have you ever seen one? They are gorgeous! And I heard a woodpecker in the tree across her street. It’s funny cuz she’s in what passes for a town here and we’re in the woods–I think her neighborhood has more bird feeders per capita. Your dishes are beautiful and how rich to have two beautiful sets, one of them ancestral. I love dishes and was so excited when I had my own money to buy a set of cheap blue willow all of my own. That went by the wayside over the years, but when I moved in with my husband, he is very frugal and was still using a set of white stoneware someone had given him ages ago. We are now down to 2 places, one of them badly chipped. I hate these plates. They are very hard to break. LOL. I did break out one of my aunt’s red Myott bountiful plates which I use, but we are not permitted any further dishes until we die I guess. It kills me because my sisters each have two gorgeous sets (I mean full with serving pieces galore and settings for 12 or more) of German and English bone china inherited from my aunt. Neither one uses them. I know they’d let me have them at this stage cuz their kids don’t want them. I’m 65–saving the good stuff doesn’t make sense to me anymore. Use it and love if if I had it!! You have beautiful and meaningful pieces in your life. Thanks for sharing the beauty with us.
I’ve seen a red finch, but I’m not sure if that’s the same kind of finch. Hmmm. I’ll have to look it up!
We seem to have woodpeckers year round here. I often see them in winter because it’s easier to pick them out amongst the bare trees.
Thanks, Nora!