Friday. A run-through this afternoon, a little get-together with the cast after rehearsal, and then home tomorrow. I briefly considered driving home tonight but the interstate will be backed up and frustrating and I’m thinking it’s better for my sanity to remain here this evening and leave tomorrow morning.
In some ways, actually, in many ways, I still think of myself as a young adult. I can’t tell you how many times Don and I have said, “Does this mean we’re adults now?” Part of that feeling is probably due to the fact that we never had children. I imagine having a child quickly puts one in the adult category.
Because I went back to school in my early thirties, earned my Master’s degree and then started teaching, moving from Philadelphia to Boston and Cambridge, changed jobs and moved to San Diego, then changed it all up again and moved to New York state, I’ve always felt a bit like a not-quite-grown-up-sort-of-adult. Renting for so many years definitely contributed to that feeling.
Since we didn’t buy our cottage until we were in our fifties – so much later than all of our peers – again came the question. Are we adults now?
I bring this up because Don and I were talking the other day and I said that I felt that buying Stella was the most adult thing I’d ever done.
Crazy? Not really.
We saw her in Los Angeles at Antique Stove Heaven when we were at the start of a trip that would take us all the way across the country to our home in New York. We spent two hours with Marco, who told us all about the work they do, sharing valuable information with us, patiently sharing the love he has for these beauties, which made us ask for his card and for the price on one particular stove. Throughout the trip home, Don would say that he couldn’t stop thinking about ‘that stove.’
When we got back home, we talked about her off and on. We were definitely interested but Don said that he wanted to know that he was going to move on with Escape to Margaritaville before we made a move. However, I worried that someone else would buy that stove before we could. We discussed the pros and cons over and over. Finally, we decided to call Antique Stove Heaven and make a down payment. We had the money in savings and we knew this would be a big expense but when something speaks to you as strongly as this stove was speaking to us, you have to go on faith. We were going to buy it whether or not Margaritaville happened.
But ordering a stove from across the country is very involved. It had to be converted to propane. It had to be detailed. It had to be professionally crated. ASH gave Don a list of shippers and Don (bless him) called them all to get a shipping rate. We arranged for the shipping. The shipper then contacted ASH about a pick-up day. Don did all of this while I was in Hartford.
Then we had to rent a certain kind of dolly – a refrigerator dolly with straps. We had to rent packing blankets. We had to measure our doorways to see if she would fit through. We had to consult with our local guy to see if there was a place that we could safely put the propane tank (it has to be 5 feet away from a window and we have a lot of windows in the kitchen.) We had to arrange for disposal of the black stove. Don had to time the arrival of the crate with the availability of his friends because we needed them to help move the stove into the house. He needed to open the crate a certain way, per Marco. Then he had to arrange for the hookup of propane the next day.
Now, people do this sort of thing every day and I know that.
But for us, buying a major appliance 3000 miles away from our home, wanting it so much that we were willing to do everything we could to bring it home to the cottage, having a dream of what we wanted to see in our kitchen and then following through? That’s pretty adult.
We’ve never done a major renovation of a home. We’ve never built a home. All of those accomplishments are pretty darned adult, if you ask me. But since we are freelancers with a limited income who never had our own home until 12 years ago, who buy used, vintage items for our home; always trying to get a good deal, almost never buying new and certainly never spending a lot of money on a household appliance, this is a big deal. This might make me an adult.
We’re both late bloomers. We didn’t meet until we were in our forties. Don hadn’t known what it felt like to have the security of a real home since he was nine. I never seemed to have enough money to do anything other than rent. Neither did Don. Both of us thought that the dream of owning a home, even settling on a place in which to buy a home, was not going to happen.
But dreams do come true. A lot of my dreams have come true. One was a dream I’d had in my early twenties – that of living in a cottage in the country. There have been many more dreams that have come true.
And I did have a dream about owning a vintage stove – I think I’ve had it for at least twenty years. That dream came true, too. Instead of my usual, “They’re in Los Angeles so I’m never going to have one” I went with, “Oh, yes I am.” The adult part was taking the steps to make it happen.
Just some thoughts on this Friday from a girl who is a late bloomer.
Someone wrote me to ask the cost of the stove, etc. A note to everyone: if you respond to me via a reply on the email version of my post, I can’t respond to you directly. Those emails come from an address linked to the blog and my server. The best way to contact me is via a comment on the blog or the email address in my sidebar.
She wanted to know, if I remember correctly, the price of the stove and the name of the place where we purchased it.
Every stove is different and you can find them on Craig’s List and elsewhere for less than what we paid. But then you need to pay someone to restore it. We eliminated the middle man (which worked best for us) and bought from Antique Stove Heaven, a place I’ve known about for years and a company that has an impeccable reputation. If you go this route, a fully restored large stove will run, at minimum, a couple of thousand dollars. Converting to propane (if you have no access to natural gas) is an additional cost. Crating is another cost, as is shipping it across the country. So, it’s an investment. To us, it was worth it. We’ll use Stella every day. She will only appreciate in value, so the investment is a sound one.
For goodness sake, we’ve rearranged our furniture temporarily so we can see her!
As for Antique Stove Heaven, I can’t say enough about them. They are only a phone call away if we have questions, and we have taken advantage of that. They are patient and smart and caring. Marco called Don the day before yesterday because he was worried something had happened to the stove. (We’d spoken to Raymond when the stove arrived, but Marco didn’t know that.) Marco wanted to make sure everything was okay and that we were happy. That’s the kind of customer service they have. They sent us detailed photos of the pilot lights, etc, a few weeks back. They gave us detailed instructions as to how to dismantle the crate and how to maneuver the refrigerator dolly in a way that kept the stove and the guys safe.
They are the best. This is the link to their website. They have two locations in Los Angeles and if you’re lucky enough to live in that area, they’ll hook your stove up for you. If, like us, you live far away, they’ll talk you through it on the phone. They routinely ship all over the country and to Canada, Mexico and beyond.
I know I’ve ‘talked’ your ear off today. Thanks for listening.
Happy Friday.
I am all for late blooming! I graduated college at 47 and entered grad school in my late 50’s.
Good for you, Carolyn Marie. Yay for late bloomers!
At 70 with a progressive lung disease, I still am not sure I have grown up! How could I have forgot about Caroline’s AGA? She has nothing to complain about! Stella looks so content.
Stay well, Dottie.
Yes, Caroline has a much more expensive stove (and she didn’t even have to pay for it!)
I’m going to correct you on one thing…having children does not automatically make you an adult. It should…that’s a reasonable expectation. But, it doesn’t always happen. I had my kids later than normal at the time…I was 32. I think that kept me thinking I was young…even though I wasn’t. Now, at 66…I’m forever young!
I remember seeing a story on tv somewhere about a shop in LA that restored vintage stoves…I bet it was Antique Stove Heaven. You’ve got a nice long weekend ahead to get well acquainted with .Stella…..enjoy! ;)
I’m forever young as well! I sure want to remain young at heart!
Love the stove and have always wanted my grandmother’s and her hoosier cabinet but alas not to be. My adult son caught me watching The Wind in the Willows years ago and made the remarked I had not yet grown up. I agreed.
And that’s a good thing, Nidia.
Claudia, you are definitely a grown-up! I think I was born a grown-up. I’m one who was an early bloomer, having kids and buying the first house in my teens. We were both in our teens—and going to school! And we’ve spent the last thirty-something empty-nest years trying to make up for it, having adventures and doing a very good job of it, I think. I’m all for whatever seems right and floats your boat. A cookie-cutter life was not for you or for me!
No, I think is was not! And that’s been, overall, a very good thing.
Claudia, I don’t feel that I’m a full-grown adult either. I got a swift kick towards a more responsible adulthood when my husband died, but I’m not all the way there yet. My grown children are constantly wondering why I act juvenile at times. I know it’s because I have a lot of responsibilities, afterall, I’m paying the mortgage and other bills, and maintaining the house and cars and garden and budget, all by myself now. There’s no one to share the burden and no one with whom to discuss problems, so I have to be an adult. But that doesn’t mean at other times I can’t laugh out loud over something I just thought of, dance through the house singing out of tune, or eat popcorn for breakfast. We have to balance doing the adult responsibilities and enjoying life as a kid.
Exactly, my friend!
I love it when dreams come true so talk about it as much as you want!
I will. I also think it inspires others to keep dreaming!
I just moved into an apartment complex geared for “seniors” – where there are a fair number of genuinely-elderly people [in my book, elderly is 80+ and usually a walker or wheelchair is involved] and yet I feel about 13 here. Like any minute someone is going to ask “How did SHE get a place here?” Age – and adulthood – is all in your attitude and your outlook. I’ve known people who were ancient at 22, and juvenile at 90. Loved your “commercial” for ASH. That’s what nice customers do when they’ve been treated fairly and well – spread the word about a truly good business. You’re to be commended. Hope it brings ASH some additional [and well-deserved] business. Have a great Labor Day weekend! And don’t forget to make biscuits! Peace. 😎
#Resist
It is definitely in your attitude and outlook! I’m making biscuits tonight, Janet!
I keep wondering at times if I’m an adult! Now that my kids are grown I’ve wanted to slip back into my ‘youthful’ carefree life, but now I’m a caretaker so still not happening. I do feel very young at times and very old at others. I think Stella was for sure a big grown up thing!! Hugs!
Hard to feel carefree when you’re a caretaker, Linda. But worth it for your mom’s peace of mind. xo
I agree with Janet. I think some people are born as old souls, and some people never grow old. I also believe that age is a mind-set. We can’t really keep our bones and joints from aging, but we can keep our minds young for as long as we are able to do so. I don’t know if having kids makes one grow up, but it does tether you with the additional responsibilities which come with having them. I think they alter our dreams a bit, too. I guess that is what the time we have as Empty Nesters gives us back.
But Stella is a star in her own right. Furniture should be rearranged!! Celebrations should be held! And cloud biscuits must be baked! I think we are all hoping for a picture of them going INTO sweet Stella as raw dough,,,,, and then your smiling face as you take them out and they are golden brown. Mmmmm…. safe travels, kiddo!!
I absolutely believe that age is a state of mind. I intend to keep mine set to ‘young.’
Thanks for reminding me – I’ll try to document everything when I bake those biscuits!
I love knowing this little background into your life and how you ended up in your sweet cottage in the country, Claudia! I also always dreamed of living in the country, I grew up in NYC but hated the crowds, trash, graffiti, rats, subways….you name it! I feel so blessed to be able to live in my sweet mountain home. I lost two homes in two divorces, 20 years apart, both of which I thought were my forever husbands AND homes. I swore the next home I owned would have only my name on the deed, and I made that happen!
You were so wise to make sure your name was on the deed and no one else’s. What freedom! Bravo, Debbie.
You and I are of a similar age, and like you I have always seen myself as being much younger. I felt much more “adult” as I became my mother’s full time care giver last year. Watching her slowly drift away and being with her until her last breath had to be the most adult thing I’ve ever had to endure. September 12th will be one year since she passed.
After trying to handle all the estate matters this past year, and slowly trying to downsize the contents of the house, (an emotionally taxing task) I am ready, as they say, to stop “adulting” now. My hope is that once I simplify things and feel less burdened that perhaps I can regain some of that youthful mindset.
Thinking of you, Denise, as this anniversary faces you. I understand.
I hope you are soon allowed to be a non-adult. So much responsibility over a long period of time is overwhelming emotionally.
I adulted pretty quickly. I can’t tell you if that’s a “good” or “bad” thing, because I don’t like to look back at anything in my life with regrets. I made the choices with what I felt was best at the time, so it is what it is. Would I do things differently if I had to do it all over again? Perhaps. Perhaps not. Anyway, I immediately went to community college after high school. Went for three years (plus worked), but never got my degree. I met Brian when I was only 19 (he was 21) and I put my relationship with him and working before college. We dated for 2-1/2 years and then got married when I was 22 and he was 24. We lived in a couple of apartments, then we bought a townhouse. Phil was born 4 years after we were married and then we sold the townhouse and bought a house 2 years after that. So I was a homeowner by the time I was 28. (Unless you count the townhouse – I was only 25 or 26.)
I never lived on my own – went straight from my parent’s house to our apartment when we got married.
And oh yes, children will definitely “adult” you! Or, at least, they should. I know of one young couple that leave their two-month old baby with his parents or brother and his wife overnight quite often so that they can go out and party. Don’t get me started!
Unbelievable. One would venture that they are not ready to be parents yet. But they are. Sigh.
Like you, I don’t look back with regrets. I don’t think it helps in the end. We learn, we grow, we make choices.
I have 3 teenage daughters and I wonder when I will be an adult. I think all the adults are just pretending to be grown-up. And I think you just became a parent–her name is Stella :)
Perfect. I often think I’m playing at being a grownup! Thanks, Linda.
Claudia, I hadn’t read your blog in some time and I thoroughly enjoyed catching up. My parents had a lovely stove similar to the one you are buying. I loved that stove, you could really make a whole meal without juggling to keep things warm like I do on our modern one. You are going to love it! A broiler oven separate from a real oven. What I would give up for that. I actually remember cooking a pie while broiling meat and cooking vegetables at the same time on it. Enjoy!
I’m going to take a photo of the broiler, which is called a “Grillevator” – wait ’til you see it! Amazing. Don’s looking forward to grilling veggies, MJ. I’m glad you came back for a visit, M. J.
I do not feel as old as I am. Age is just a number. Get home safe tomorrow.
Marilyn
I will. I’m finishing my coffee and then I’m going to shower and pack up, Marilyn. Thank you.
I believe in following that dream, making your wants and true goals become reality . If it is a gorgeous stove you want, well you are a smart couple with a love for the original and unique. Some might want a loaded car. An original piece of art. An expensive Persian rug. I think you and Don take it slow and steady. You are very thoughtful about what you have in your cottage. I admire that. Enjoy Stella.
Now…the parenthood thing. Nothing makes you feel like all thumbs with no brain when you try to do that first diaper. And when they are teens, you start to question your knowledge, beliefs, and sanity. I think you go from being an adult before the children, to a fumbling, frantic and, “Why did I ever bother to get a degree?” lost soul. I hope this is comfort.
Jane x
I admire parents so much. I don’t know if I could do it. Of course I could and have parented animals and I love my nieces and nephews, but boy! Full-time parenting is another thing entirely. Here’s to all of you who have raised children!
Great post Claudia! We purchased our first home in our early thirties and now are on our fifth. We have always been “young at heart” and hope to continue to be forever. I really felt like an adult finally during the renovations at our last home. We changed the kitchen, two bathrooms and all the flooring in the whole house. Had a garage fire (old car caught fire) and redid the garage. Much of this I looked after as Chuck was working full-time. Having to deal with all the contractors (most good, one really bad one) made me take things a little more seriously.
Stella is gorgeous and I wish you and Don many years of enjoying her!
Yes, I imagine tending to all of that, working with the contractors, dealing with the mess and the plans and making decisions about all of that feels very adult. Fingers crossed, maybe I’ll get to do that some day!
Thank you so much, Robin!