Because they make me smile:
And smiles have been in short supply recently.
Under the topic of Things that Irritate Me: Any headline or blog post that says something like “10 Essentials You Should Have in Your Home.” Or on the Huffington Post today, “10 Books at Garage Sales You Should Never Pass Up.”
Really? According to who (or is it whom)?
Stop with the ‘shoulds.’ I am stubborn. If you tell me I ‘should’ do anything, which is really just a way to write what you think is a catchy, can’t-fail post or article title, I will not read it. In fact, if I’m feeling a little surly, I will look at your list and do the opposite.
And I’ll add, though I’ve said this before, the list trend in blog post titles irritates me, as well. Also on the Huffington Post today: “18 Annoying Things I Don’t Want to Hear About Your Child.” Stop it. Or I will counter with “18 Annoying Things I Don’t Want to See or Hear From You.”
If there’s a list, I won’t read it. I know many readers are drawn to that kind of post and more power to you. That’s just fine. This is just my opinion. I think it irritates me for a couple of reasons. Writers have clearly been told this is a good way to get readers. So EVERYONE is now doing it. My eyes glaze over. Who knows? Maybe stats show that this is indeed a sure-fire way to get people to read a post. Since I’m not in this for the stats, and – again – since I’m stubborn, I will not go there.
Another reason? The tendency for everyone to assume the title of ‘expert’ simply because they have a little writing space on the web. Just because I love decorating my home doesn’t make me an expert on the subject. I know what I like, but surely that’s not what everyone likes. I wrote a series of posts on living in a small space a few years back. I was never entirely comfortable coming up with ‘rules’ for small spaces. Again, I know what works for us here in this cottage, but making a list of rules for others to follow is not me. I’m not an expert. I just know what works here.
I often consider deleting those posts from my navigation bar. Maybe today…
Just because I’ve worked with coding and designed this blog and my other blog doesn’t make me qualified to be a blog consultant. I almost started a little side thing to help others with blogging questions a few years back, but it never felt right and I’m glad I didn’t follow through. I don’t know enough about graphics and design. I know what I need to know for my purposes but not nearly enough to qualify as an expert.
Humility can be a good thing.
Okay. Enough of that. It just feels good to talk about something other than grief.
I asked Don to make breakfast for me yesterday and he did. French Toast = comfort food. Oh, was it good! He’s been great; checking in with me to see how I’m doing, listening to me when I need to talk, holding me when I need to cry. I’ve been a little testy at times. I admit it, I don’t have a lot of patience at the moment. I’m working on that. But he understands and for that I am truly grateful.
I hope you’re all well on this Monday morning. Thanks for being there on the other end of these posts. Thanks for reading my words, awkward as they may be at times.
Happy Monday.
The one list I might read would be “The Top 10 Best Cakes I’ve Ever Had That Someone Else Baked and I Didn’t Have To Do Any Cleaning Up or Baking But They Just Brought To Me With A Fork”.
Keep writing and remembering and smiling and crying when you need to; you are in my thoughts and in my heart.
That is a list I would read! Thank you, Liza.
I agree about the shoulds…..
but to make you smile
TOP 10 reasons I must read Mockingbirdhill each and every morning
1. Like having morning coffee with a friend
2. Scout
3. lovely flowers
4. “real life” and emotions
5. hobbies
6. well written
7. convictions and opinions
8. awesome photos
9. no hidden agenda
10. pure zest for life.
Oh, you are too kind! Love this list, Cindy!
I agree with all of those Cindy,
Love ya and still praying for you.
Judy
Thank you, dear Judy. Love you, too.
Cindy hit the nail on the head!! I also would like to add one, if I may.
11. Find out who you might have ‘bumped into’ or ‘was in a series with’. I swear, between you and Don, there may not be much of the entertainment industry you don’t know!
The only thing you need to have patience with is yourself. It takes a bit of time to work through the grieving stages. Everyone that loves you knows what you have been through. We are patient with you. Oh, and venting helps :)
Wrapping you in a hug,
Deb
11. Or coached and/or worked with on a show. We certainly don’t know everyone, but we have been lucky to work with a lot of wonderful people.
Thank you so much for your kind words, Debbie.
Again we are so in sync Claudia. I hate those lists! I’ve read a few and they are stupid. Life I need to be ‘told’ some of this. Just feels light weight to me. I like real emotions, real life and honesty. It’s what I get so much of here and why you and Don and Scout are my friends. (FYI, wrote about Don’s CD on my blog). I am so tired of the rain and not being able to do anything since hurting my back, talk about cranky! I don’t know what I would do without my dose of Claudia and Mockingbird Hill Cottage.
hugs,
Linda
You’re right. Really? Most of that stuff I already know and the ‘tips’ are SO obvious!
I saw what you wrote this morning, Linda, and I left a comment. Thank you so much for the rave about Don’s CD!!
I hope you feel better very, very soon and that the rain stops.
I just saw your comment on my blog :) So did Don write that song for you??
Yes. He even said that on the air on one of the recent radio shows he was on. What a guy!
I’ve never been good with lists by others….unless it’s a list of places to eat pie! Bottom line…I don’t appreciate other people telling me what to do! I loved Cindy’s list though…priceless! You are sounding a bit feisty this morning…that’s a good sign…feistiness mixed in with tears! ;)
Feisty is a good place for me to be right now. And I concur about your list of places to eat pie – pie is my favorite dessert!
I totally agree with Cindy’s list, though I’d probably have put Scout as #1 ;-) I’m betting she’s not letting you out of her sight for a while. Hugs to you all!
She is nearby, that’s for sure!
Maybe the theory is, in our “hurry up” world, that you may not take the time to commit to an entire article or post, but you can take the time to run through a quick list??? For me it depends on the list. If I see a list like, “My top 10 favorite books of 2015”, I’d read it. Or, “The top 10 ways I’ve found for storage in my small house”, I’d read that too. But I do not read lists, etc from people, like you said, suddenly think they’re experts on things they clearly are not! But someone sharing what they’ve learned, or how they do something … I really enjoy that. But the self-proclaimed, or implied, “experts” irritate me to no end.
I lost both of my parents within a 3 year span … and I remember how are it was to wrap my brain around that. BOTH of them gone. For me, with no husband or children, it was a hard adjustment feeling that I no longer had “that person” who would be there for me no matter what. I have a wonderful family … but that’s not the same as a mom and/or dad. Hang in there Claudia.
You’re right – it isn’t the same as a mom and dad. It’s a very ‘alone’ feeling. Thanks, Debbie.
I’ve commented before that your Don is definitely a ‘keeper’ — having someone who loves and supports you in the good times and the not-so-good times is a sweet blessing. (And, he makes French Toast too!) Sending some good thoughts and prayers your way today.
Thank you, Regina Anne. He is a keeper!
Thank you, thank you, thank you. You finally put out there what alot of us are feeling. I’m retired. I don’t do lists anymore. I don’t care about the “Top 10” anything, so all of you bloggers out there, ENOUGH WITH THE LISTS ALREADY!
Yay! And you wrote it in CAPS!
I must admit I quite like Paul Simon’s ’50 Ways to Leave Your Lover’. Is that a list?
I’ve been watching the Simon & Garfunkel 1981 concert in Central Park – wish I’d been there!
That’s a list in musical form. Totally acceptable!
I run enough of my own lists – this weeks to do list currently stands at 54 things, some of which I have crossed off today! I don’t need other peoples lists telling me what to do! I do random list posts sometimes and my five on Friday lists, but they aren’t the same in my mind! Glad that Don is supporting you well, he is obviously a great husband!!! French toast = very delicious indeed! xx
I love your five on Friday lists, Amy. Totally different than what I’m talking about. I think Meredith has linked up to that Friday post a few times.
I don’t mind short lists every now and then but I detest “hacks”. Everything seems to have a hack attached to it. I’m so glad you have Don to take care of you. Don’t worry about being testy; it’s a normal part of grieving. Don’t let anyone tell you how you grieve is wrong. I tend to become frozen and have been told by family members I’m not grieving at all! It took years for me to be able to cry after my Dad passed away. Take care of yourself — from one orphan to another.
I will, and thank you, Laura.
I learned from my grief counselor that there is no right or wrong way to grieve (no top 10 ways to grieve here). Whatever you are feeling must be genuine and your reaction is genuine because, duh, you’re feeling it, right? You’re fortunate to have Don, Scout, Meredith, your friends and blog community, but you’ll feel lonely at times. But, try not to feel alone, because you aren’t, Claudia.
I’m blessed by those around me. But I think everyone grieves alone. In the quiet times or in the middle of the night or whenever, the knowledge hits you again. I know you understand, Wendy.
I take the lists with a grain of salt. Just read one on foods you should never reheat. One, soups with celery or carrots. The list said the nitrates would give you food poisoning. The list right below that said it was fine to reheat these ingredients. I knew it wasn’t true. I can’t count how many bowls of ham hocks and beans I have reheated. Both vegetables are in the soup. I have never had food poisoning.
You are lucky to still have your sister. I lost my parents five months apart. Since then my two sisters and my brother. I am the only one left. I thank God I have a loving husband and children. The best comfort are the memories you keep in your heart.
I’m sorry you’re the only one left. That must be very hard. I am now the ‘matriarch’ of the family, I guess. My brother has been gone a long, long time and my estranged sister might as well be gone. So it’s just Meredith and me – very strange feeling.
Hi, and a big hug to go along with it. I ignore blogs with lists of things to see, do, say, make, buy, wish for, bake, eat…..it goes on and on. I am mostly missing the blogger’s individual voice on some particular blogs…it’s nowhere to be found, lost somewhere in the list. Thinking of you and sending comfort and strength all the time. xxxooo
Yes, those lists can seem awfully impersonal. You put it perfectly:losing the blogger’s individual voice. Ah, well. Thank you for the hug, Ann Marie!
“Testy” you say….I never would have known Claudia…lol…When I started reading today I thought..”Claudia seems a bit testy today…as you well have a right to with all you have been through lately…As for the lists…there are a few that might get my curiosity up..but most are usually both stupid and/or boring so I pass them over…Don is “all that” and French toast too..any man who writes a song for the woman he loves…let’s just say a lot of us women out here only dream of being loved that much…that is why I so much admire the relationship you two have …Breath slowly…relax…let some weight fall off of your shoulders…
I’m that obvious? Ha! Of course I am – just a wee bit testy!
xo
I am sorry to hear of the loss of your father. I became an orphan 10 years ago and understand all that you wrote about in this post.
I’ve been out of the blog loop since the 23rd of October due to a crazy illness. I am now in recuperation mode. I came in a couple of times to add posts with old photos. Just something to keep in touch. Coming back slow but sure. At 72, I find it a tad more difficult to bounce back!
I always enjoy your posts. It is good to catch up with you. I don’t care for those list posts and pass them by.
Oh, Pat, I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been ill. I hope this finds you feeling much better! Take your time and don’t feel pressured to blog – but of course, you know that already. Thank you for your kind words, my friend.
Hi, Claudia. My least favorite lists are “Number of things (or people) you didn’t know (did something).” How would they know what I do know or don’t know? Wow, that’s a lot of knows! And, FYI, a little awkward never hurt anyone.
Oh, I know! They drive me crazy, too. How DO they know what I know? Answer: they don’t!
I truly thought I was the only weird person who did not like all the list posts. But, when someone makes a list about why they DON’T do something, it seriously gives me a headache. I guess I can’t comprehend why someone wants to convince me about something that they DON’T want to do.
10 reasons why I don’t shop at Costco.
10 reasons why we don’t use cloth diapers.
5 reasons why we will never buy a new car.
ugh.
I think they are trying to convince themselves about whatever they don’t want to do. Geez, you don’t need a list. Just don’t do it. Who cares?
Well….. I think I am a little testy, too!!
I hope that the day got better for you. Regardless, you just do what you want to/ need to do. And know that we are here for you!! No lists required.
Six years ago when I first started reading blogs, I was drawn to them because it was like being invited into a slice of someone’s life. Over time I found myself having a connection with these bloggers. I’ve watched over the years where many of their blogs have become big businesses. They have gone on to write books, speak at events and become “experts.” The personal side of their blog is now missing. Some rarely post anymore, and their blog has taken a lesser role in their life. I began my own blog last January, inspired by bloggers like you. I wasn’t even sure what direction it would take, but it seemed to find a voice of its own. I claim to be no expert, but I do share my reflections on the world I see around me. My readership is small, but regular and sometimes I wonder if I should follow suit of the current blogging trends. I’m inspired by your words today to stay true to myself and my voice.
Hi Claudia,
I must admit, I AM one of those people that get sucked in with the top 10 lists, and have spent hours watching youtube Watchmojo.com – 10 best/ worst movies of …. , as well as Top Ten lists of how best to remove stains and/ or organize your life….. 10 best home-made pest control concoctions for your garden…. etc. If it is on a list- I’ll watch it!
I personally wouldn’t label a blog of mine with that kind of bait, but it sounds as if It Does Work, which is why so many use it However while I do agree with your point that not everyone is an expert and/or qualified to dispense advise or instruction, I have gleaned some valuable information by reading the opinions what others had to say regarding the particular topic on the list .
But truly, Lists are especially attractive to disorganized people like my self, who are usually ready to absorb the lists of others just because it makes us feel less guilty for not having any lists of our own. :)
Awkward??!!!—NEVER!