I forgot to include this photo of my Christmas decorating post. I just threw some big silvery glass balls and some clippings from the tree under the glass. Well, I didn’t throw them; if I had done that, the pretty glass balls would be no more.
I see that the runner needs a little ironing. That won’t be happening. And to be honest, stacks of paperwork and mail currently share this table space with the pretty arrangement under glass. It’s not perfect.
Since both Don and I have families that live far from us, we will have a quiet Christmas. We don’t spend a lot of money on gifts – and remember, I already have mine. (I need to stop playing Mah Jongg on my iPhone!) We no longer exchange gifts with our families, there are too many grandkids and nieces and nephews and brothers and sisters and half-brothers and half-sisters. We all agreed to stop doing that a long time ago.
Though I would love to see my family at Christmas, I think that the quiet celebration we have has really helped me to calmly and gratefully experience the season. There is no longer any frantic shopping at malls, any tension-inducing last minute preparations. I remember being so crazed by all the things I had to get done for the holidays that I couldn’t really enjoy the moment.
When I was a child, I longed for the sort of perfect Christmas I saw on television or in the movies. This will date me, but I remember watching the Andy Williams Christmas specials every year. The extended Williams family seemed so happy, so well dressed, so full of Christmas cheer – they brought beautifully wrapped presents with them, they sang together and, all the while, pretty snowflakes fell outside the windows.
Of course, the house was a set, the snow was fake. I’m sure the Williams family had the same kind of complicated relationships that we all do. When I was a child, we didn’t have a lot of money, but my parents managed to save enough to have many gifts under the tree every Christmas. They worked hard to make the day very special. But there were tensions, the inevitable tirade from my father, aunts and uncles who drank too much, tears, sometimes a bit too much forced good cheer.
Christmas can be very complicated. The pressure to have a perfect storybook Christmas can take its toll on the best of us. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I realized that no Christmas can be that perfect. Only on a soundstage.
With that realization came relief. I don’t need to be exhausted, to feel pressure to spend lots of money on the right gifts, to create the perfect Christmas.
I just need to be.
Wednesday, in the early evening, I was sitting in the den. The tree lights were on. The outside lights were on. Don was quietly playing his guitar in the living room which was lit only by the lights on the white tree and on top of the cupboard. It was beautiful. Peaceful. Magical.
Not perfect. But more than enough for us.
Take a moment for quiet reflection. Turn off all the lights but the tree lights and squint your eyes like you did when you were a child. Play Christmas music. I think that if you can experience that wonder, that peace – even for a second – you’ve received the perfect Christmas present.
Less is more in so many ways.
I agree a peaceful simple Christmas is so much better.
We do meaningful things for one another and others all year and isin’t that what living a good life is really about?
Merry Lowkey Christmas!
Lovely post, Claudia! I love the special touch of the silvery balls under the glass dome. Your house looks so welcoming with its garlands of lights on the verandah. I love your last sentence about peace. Personally, I think that peace is the greatest gift we can receive. It’s a fruit of the Spirit and it brings joy, another fruit of the Spirit. When we possess these two fruit, we become strong and persistent as we go through trials. If we have the peace of the Spirit, we have something that all the money in the world cannot buy. As you say in your last sentence, it’s the perfect gift!
Thank you for such a heartfelt post. Bit of tears. Simple is better. Quiet and time to think, reflex, relax.
-Joy
I gave up on that perfect Christmas a long time ago. I love to get together with my grown kids and my grandchildren, and for me that is the best part of Christmas. The gifts are incidental.
Your house looks lovely!
nancyr
Amen! LOVE your sentiments–they match mine–though my tree is not yet up. It is going up this weekend…
Wonderful post Claudia – I wish we could have a silent christmas over here too. It´s on my wish list even though we´re going to celerate with kids and grandkids, I still wish we could just enjoy..
Would LOVE a christmas like yours
Ah this was nice to read. You have a nice thing going for yourself. I love your tree~it is darling and sweet.
I do promise that next year I’m going to be taking a lesson from you. You are always the wise one. Great read today to lighten the load.
I couldn’t agree more. It’s just Thomas and I and it’s so peaceful. I don’t have to stress over what the family may or may not do or say or put a smile on my face as if I’m in that Christmas special on tv.
It is magical..just having the quiet and good energy surrounding me.
Steph ♥
I’ll have a relaxing Christmas too. My Mom always did so much to make our Christmas special when we were kids, so now that she is older and has some health issues, I try to maker her Christmas nice for her. My Dad was like yours, worked hard so we would have some special gifts, but always managed to have a tirade on the day. But, I still remember the excitement of it being a special time of year and so I still love Christmas now. No hectic mall shopping for me…just some online shopping and having things delivered. No stess there. It’s all good! Merry Christmas Claudia, to you and Don.
Goodness, yes. Your words are so very true.
I’ve always preferred holidays with no one around but my immediate family anyway. When people do come, it just feels like an obligation. Something they feel they HAVE to do because they ignore everyone during the rest of the year.
Kristin
I don’t know what one has to pay to get cable that includes TCM but $115 a month doesn’t do it in my area. I had to buy the DVD to see The Bishop’s Wife and The Bells of St. Mary’s because TCM is the only place they play.
The perfect Christmas would be hanging out with a few friends without the pressure of family (I know that sounds harsh) no presents, with some good food, good wine and a few good movies…in pajamas.
I’m trying so hard to not let the stress get to me. so far so good. Thank God for Amazon! Your tree is lovely.
Blessings, Joanne
Your post really resonates with me. I had the same kind of childhood Christmases as you – angry dad etc. I have tried so hard to make my own children’s Christmases different, more like the fairytale ones you see on Tv with lots of friends and family so that they will have better memories. This year we will be on our own for Christmas for the first time and I was feeling so sad about that but you reminded me that quiet Christmases can be special too. Thank you for that. God bless you x
Oh Claudia,
This post truly touched my heart and my eyes are filled with tears. My hubby and I will probably enjoy a nice quiet Christmas at home with just the 2 of us with our cute little pups. A friend or two may pop by, but it won’t be a frantic Christmas. I couldn’t agree more with every line of your post. Your tree is delightful!
~Sandy
We embrace imperfection in many aspects of our lives and homes and that includes Christmas with all it’s expectations too. Joe does get to see his brother at our home this year which should be good for both of them. They will never shut up.
You have the storybook Christmas, Claudia. It’s the one you and Don have written for yourselves… and it’s perfect!
Expectations. Then the disappointments. We expect people to be more than they are and to fullfill our dreams. I finally realized after three failed marriages and countless disappointing holidays that it’s not up to someone else to make my life what I want it to be. It’s MY responsibilty. The holidays can be as good or bad as I make them. It’s all a matter of perspective and perception. Thanks for your post Claudia.
oh yes, i remember andy williams too. my mom loved him and we all watched in awe of the perfection. see, the seeds of perfection were planted early in my head!
you are right, christmas can be complicated. when things are going good, it’s great but when they are not…complicated is a good word.
i love the sound of your christmas. it sounds like relief to me. yes.
I like your instinctively pretty table decoration, and the pictures of your cozy house. You’ve decribed a pretty perfect Christmas to me!
Thanks for the heads-up on the TMC shows. I’m not much of a tv person but enjoy these shows every now and again.
Amen to your thoughts on Christmas…my daughter keeps asking what’s wrong with me. I keep telling her there’s nothing wrong, in fact I feel better than ever as I learn to enjoy the holidays the way I want, not as the commercial world would have us do.
Best wishes to all…
Lovely post Claudia, it is a crazy time of year, just taking a second to breath is special.
Mere
You have said it so well, Claudia. This is a hard time of year for me and I try to make it all nice for my family as I am the one whose house they gather at on Christmas Day. I try to take a deep breath and enjoy the time of year as I did so much as a child, but you are right, with adulthood comes adult intrusions into the magic. Today was my day to sit in my pajamas until noon and just do nothing, so I now feel like I can go forth and enjoy this wonderful time of year. Ann
I totally agree! My kids will have to do the holiday without me. Sorry, that’s my own private celebration I share only with my pets. That’s my present to myself. It may not be for most, but it’s all I want or need. Those peaceful times to just be.
Brenda
Beautiful, Claudia! :)