Where is the rain that was predicted for yesterday and today? We’ve been going through this for a while now; weather predictions of rain and thunderstorms and showers….and nothing. Normally, I would love that, but we really need rain. I’ve never seen the rivers so low.
Today? More ‘rain’ predicted and I just looked outside and the sun has come out.
I added some more of the limelight hydrangeas. I think that’s enough.
We’re entering a new period here on the blog – that transition that happens every year when we move inside, with more indoor photos. Why? Because there aren’t many flowers left, I say with a sob. And inevitably I panic, thinking what the heck will I write about?
After eight years, you’d think I would trust that I’ll find something post-worthy. But then again, eight years is a long time and after writing this blog for so many years, how interesting can the daily minutia of my life be? Especially when I’m posting every day?
I truly love writing this blog but sometimes I have the urge to chuck it all. (Don’t worry, I’m not.) Today for example, the email that connects to the blog wasn’t working. When I signed onto the blog, I was unable to upload photos. (Both of these issues have been resolved.) There are attempts to hack into this blog (and every blog and website out there in cyberspace) on a daily basis. Technical glitches happen.
And some days I just don’t know what the heck to write about.
Then I think (just for a second, mind you): Everything would be easier if I just deleted the blog(s). But immediately after that thought, another thought follows: If I did that, I wouldn’t be able to write and post photos and have a conversation with all of you. I wouldn’t have contact with all the friends I have made through this blog. I would no longer have the daily discipline of sitting at my desk in the morning, gathering my thoughts, uploading and editing my photos, editing and re-editing my post, and responding to your comments throughout the day. And I can’t imagine that at all. I can imagine, however, how sad not doing all of that would make me.
Silly, but true. Every blogger wrestles with these thoughts, especially after they’ve been at it for several years.
But the fact is, this blog has made an enormous difference in my life. Frankly, though Don is the most supportive partner I could ever hope to have, if I ever thought seriously of not blogging anymore, he’d sit me down and talk some sense into me. Because he knows what a powerful thing this blog is for me, the many ways in which it has enriched my life. And his life, as well.
Transitions are definitely not easy for me. The change of seasons, winter on the horizon, my flowers dying – a touch of melancholy is in the air surrounding me. The first anniversary of my dad’s death is at the end of this month. I’m sure all of this is part and parcel of my mood today.
Oy. I don’t want to sound too morose! I have lots to do, I just have to get motivated to do it.
Maybe, however, we need these periods in life where we move slowly, think and read, knowing there’s lots to do yet knowing we are not ready to do any of it. I’m thinking now as I write this that, like grieving, this is something we should just allow ourselves to feel, to experience. Not to hurry it, not to deny it, but let it be, if we have the luxury of letting it be. And I do right now. So I will.
Happy Friday.
This is a melancholy season for me due to a death anniversary as well.
I would miss you if you were to stop blogging. Be gentle with yourself.
I’ll keep blogging, Carolyn Marie. Thank you!
I find changes of seasons can be energizing, thoughtful and also melancholy. It’s a good thing to take time to reflect. Usually I’m so happy entering the ‘holiday’ season but this year there are many serious issues going on, the anniversary of my brother’s death right before Christmas and health issues with my family. I’m hoping the cooler temps will energize me to enjoy this season of my life. I would miss you so much if you stopped blogging but then I’d be emailing you every day! Hugs!
Me too. I need to be energized and I’m just not right now. I’m reading a lot, which helps. I also think getting this election over and done with will help.
Love your blog so and would miss it! But always do what’s best for you. Peace.
I’m hanging in there, Cindy! Thanks for your words of support!
Be gentle with yourself. You’ve had a lot of losses that you have to process, and that take a long time. Winter can be a time of rest and rejuvenation.
I hope so, though I will be working on theater productions during the winter. But right now, rest and rejuvenation. Thanks, Mary.
Seasonal changes (any changes) can be difficult. I always enjoy the transition to Fall and then Winter. I love the hunkering down and hibernating phase…and then awakening with Spring. But, factor in reminders of loved ones gone, less daylight, etc. it is easy to be a tad on the sad side. I think rain will be coming soon Claudia. We were supposed to have rain today and tomorrow, but the sun is out here. However, it is pouring and windy in Pittsburgh and that will be heading East and North. Hope you and Don have a wonderful weekend.
I sure hope so, Vera. Hey, I just looked outside and it’s begun to rain!
Well, you know Claudia, I do think at this age, I find myself constantly reassessing, reevaluating, shifting gears and I’m often preoccupied with a lot of thought about so many things…to the point of distraction. I am constantly reminded that time is actually passing very quickly; it goes fast, doesn’t it, despite a slow day here and there. I just wonder that we don’t want to (can’t afford to) waste a day of the life left to us ahead by not being mindful of how best we spend our time. I have become very aware of things that take up too much of my time. I don’t always have the discipline I need to modify or discard them. But some things I have indeed dropped cold turkey.
That said, I’m not happy with blog owners who’ve ‘quit’ their blog with no explanation…after blogging even once a week FOR YEARS…because a relationship has been developed and you can’t help but worry if they’re okay; what happened? It’s so abrupt. Like a fall off a cliff! (I’ve experienced firsthand, with you, the same thing…when a loyal/’regular’ blog reader suddenly drops off the map, with the blog owner then left ‘hanging’ and wondering!) But we truly often/never know what’s going on behind closed doors with a person in cyber life or ‘real’ life (relatives, neighbors, friends, work associates); life is complicated. And I think some people simply don’t know how to end things. Endings are often more messy than tidy. Maybe they look at it as failure?
If you were to stop your blog, I’d be sad yet ever-grateful for all I got from it while you had it. I would miss you, but I’d understand, because I know you’d do a graceful exit.
Change is hitting us in the face every day and we can either buck it or go with the flow. I do try to direct the course of my life as much as I can, all the while realizing that so much is simply in my higher power’s hands and not my own. I’ve just learned over time that so much is about risk vs. benefit; the juggle. But, I dunno; maybe I’m not thinking so clearly at the moment!
I just wish for you a good day today, and I definitely think, I guess in a organic sense, we are living beings that do change with the living weather and the living seasons and, of course, the seasons represent change and the passing of time, utterly symbolic of nothing staying the same and not being able to hit the ‘pause’ button…on life.
I seem to continually have a P.S. You see, Claudia, you get us to thinking and you give us a safe place to share thoughts. For instance, I just read a NY Times article that talks about how ‘Far from the campaign trail, the shock waves about Mr. T’s crude language captured in a recording, and accusations against him of sexual assault by numerous women are reverberating through marriages and relationships across the country. Couples (I broaden that to, People) say they are talking to each other about the degradation of women in new ways…” and I can’t help but think that having the conversation, on blogs, at the doctor’s office, on the train or wherever and opening up about our feelings and experiences will ultimately be a good thing as women (and men) continue to demand what’s good and fair and right. Talking is good! It’s empowering.
If your blog gives you a certain amount of structure each morning, think also of how it gives your readers a safe place to exchange info and ideas, especially if they don’t have a voice anywhere else. It’s not your obligation to provide a public service (!!) but I’ve visited a lot of blogs in my time, Claudia, and I appreciate the intelligent/soulful readers you have and, of course, your spot-on, from-the-heart posts which resonate with so many of us in or near your age group. You provide a good variety of subjects, from collecting to aging, beautiful photography and day trips, current events and hopes & dreams…it’s balanced, because your life is balanced. So, reading you is interesting and timely…and fun! You are a terrific writer and I’m glad you give of yourself with the blog. I’ve learned SO MUCH from reading you!
The conversation we have had has been very helpful and sharing our thoughts (especially about this election) helps in the face of the mean-spirited words we’re hearing every day.
If I can indeed provide a safe place to share thoughts, that makes me happy.
I think that this election has sapped a lot of my energy and has left me feeling down and, frankly, shocked at the hatred and divisive and disgusting rhetoric we’ve been hearing. I have to remember to also take time away from it, for my own peace of mind.
Yes, like I said about watching the debate, I fell asleep. Actually.fell.asleep. It’s because this kind of rancor…in print, in our ears, in our face…is indeed soul-draining. Completely fatiguing. We thrive on the uplift…on hope and inspiration. It’s lacking! Instead of feeling excited about an election, we feel beaten up. It just makes you want to curl into a ball, retreat into a warm, safe, HEALING and cozy place…because you’re otherwise continually in fighting mode, filled with so much negative emotion which is unhealthy for us. It’s this bad limbo situation that will thankfully end soon come Election Day; endings & beginnings.
Soul draining, depressing, everything. I cannot wait for it to be over.
As many have said, I too would greatly miss you and your blog. I’m having a hard time this season as well. My mom is having some pretty severe health issues along with my husband’s father and we live a good distance from both of them. Lots of travel time back and forth also wreaks havoc on me physically with health issues. And then there is the stress of when you cannot be there. I’m sure that you understand all of this. Having lost my Daddy at a young age I find this very difficult and scary even at my age of 45.
I also have health issues that are affected by the changing of the seasons and this particular Fall has been difficult. I am so drained from this election and really need for it to be over soon. Carrying the fears that I have for our country is sometimes too heavy to bear. I tend to be the type of person who can’t let any of these things go. They mean too much and I sometimes carry it longer than I should. It’s also the time of year that we lost both of our baby boys and I just can’t seem to get past that grief no matter how much time may pass. The loss of the unconditional love and all of the joy that those two little guys brought to our lives will never be replaced. What a blessing we were given.
I’m finding much comfort in reading more these days and being in my kitchen. Cooking brings back so much of my childhood and happy times. I find comfort in preparing a good and healthy meal for myself and my husband. And the Fall season brings so many wonderful recipes!
I hope that you are able to use this time to process your own grief and losses that you’ve had to experience over the last year. Sending all the good thoughts, prayers and love that I can from Texas. May you both have a most lovely weekend together. Blessed be.
I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been having a hard time, Belinda. We need to seek comfort, for sure, whether through reading, long walks, cooking, whatever helps us.
And the election. This campaign has left me feeling lost and hopeless in the face of such hateful rhetoric. I can only hope that we can move toward healing very, very soon. Sending you love.
I hope you’ll continue to blog for a loooong time! I know firsthand that it’s hard to find a topic to write about, but it’s so rewarding when you do. It doesn’t have to be earth-shattering news to be interesting. Seeing someone else’s take on just about anything is good, you know. And thanks, because I just love having a friend I’ve never met.
Thank you, Shanna. I don’t know what I’d do without all of you!
Change is hard…and it seems to be getting harder the older I get. Is that real or perceived? I’ve been physically doing a lot, with my son to move back home, I need to make room. So I haven’t had a lot of free time to think of things I guess…my dad has been gone for 15 years now…just had the anniversary. This whole election just seems to keep on dragging…the fact that winter will soon be upon us. I love Fall…but this year…it’s been overly difficult. I so look forward to your posts….I need my daily dose of life with Claudia! BTW…the hydrangeas are gorgeous! Are they sitting in water…or are they just drying? ;)
I think it’s real. We are aware of time moving faster than we would like and we see our mortality – so I think change is harder at this state.
The hydrangeas are drying, my friend. xo
Thanks…you’ve motivated me to go cut mine and bring them in! ;)
Oh good!
Just want to say thank you for taking the time to write. I look forward to reading your blog.
You’re welcome, Trina. Thank you!
It definitely is a time of year for transition. I have learned to embrace it over the years…a time of slowing down, cozying up, lighting candles…even hibernating a little. The feeling the Scandinavians call hygge, I guess. We have some very stressful stuff going on this fall, and being home is my comfort. Hoping you find peace and comfort in your beautiful home, too..xoxo
Once I’m through the transition, I’m much better. It’s going through it that seems to be hard! Thanks so much, Linda
I find you and Don such interesting people! I guess because your professions are so different from anything that I am familiar with. I know loss takes a lot out of you, and you have to create a new normal. At least that’s been my experience. I wanted to make a suggestion for blog posts. I believe it would be so interesting to know what it is you do when you go to work with actors in a play. Maybe you have written about this sometime earlier than when I began reading. It’s always fun to read how you move into your new space when you ‘go on location’ and make it homey, but you don’t speak directly to what you’re actually doing for the actors. And when you’re reading and outlining a play before you go, what exactly are you doing there? Just details about your talents and how you help the actors would be good to know!
I have written about it before, Myra, but I’ll think about writing about it again. Thanks so very much for the suggestion!
Sounds like mini-time to me, Claudia! Always interested in your doll house and anything new you might be working on.
I haven’t been in the mood to work on minis, Sharon! Hopefully, that will change soon.
You would be so missed if we didn’t hear from you every day! Spring and fall are my most favorite time of the year. I have so much energy and feel so happy. I’m not a fan of ice and snow and the hot humid days of summer just drain me.
I’m not a fan of ice and snow, either! Thanks, Kathy!
I’m interested in reading anything you write, Claudia. You manage to be thought-provoking, even if you’re complaining about raking leaves! If you ever think about writing a book, I’d buy it!
Aw, thank you so much, Wendy!
Thank you for writing everyday. It’s sad to see the gardens go. I have to say I love your hiking photos, trips to town photos. I live in New England and never get tired of seeing different areas no matter what the season.
Thank you, Jay. I’ll try to take photos wherever we/I go!
If you were to stop blogging , I would miss reading of your adventures! I find the cooler air of autumn invigorating, although walking around my daughter’s campus makes me wish I could go back to school.
We watched the third debate and could not believe how petty that man is. We need your help as a dialect coach! Is he saying “bigly” or “big league”? We have no trouble with British or Australian television, but sometimes require the subtitles for American movies/shows.
I always think about college/school in the fall! I had that thought just the other day and missed walking around on campus.
I always thought, and so did most people, that he was saying ‘bigly.’ It’s only after this most recent debate that I heard someone say it was ‘big league.’ I don’t think it is. I think it’s bigly. But I would have to listen to him, rewind, listen again, etc. before I could be sure. And I don’t want to hear his voice that much!
It has been raining off and on all day and last night too here. Claudia be careful posting bird feathers, federal law prohibits possessing any raptor feathers , even those found . The only ones who can keep are American Indians. In fact found or killed birds are given to the Indians. Rightly so too. Have nice a weekend.
Well, I’m not too worried about it, but I’ll delete it just in case!
I am sure you are right, but still an interesting fact. I seem to collect useless facts!
I deleted the photo, Mary, just in case. One is a wild turkey feather and one is a crow? feather…the rest are from songbirds that have dropped their feathers. It seems to be difficult to find consistent information on this sort of thing. I wondered if one of them was from a hawk, so maybe I’ll drop that one back in the woods. Heck, I think I’ll drop them all back in the woods!
Your blog posts are REAL! That is what keeps me coming by every day. Although I do not “blog”, I do keep a daily journal for “posterity”. I understand the frustration with finding a topic to write about each day–some days are raw, some days are silly, some days are just plain mundane. Your words remind me we are all in the same boat to some degree.
Your photos always bring a smile to my face and for that I thank you! Smiling and laughter are a top priority each day–they are truly the best medicine on the planet. Today I wish you PEACE:-)
Thank you, Jeannine. I appreciate your words!
Hang in there Claudia, this is a melancholy reflective season that many of us go through this time of years. The transitioning plants, falling leaves, colder weather, anniversaries of losses. The circle of life. The grief process. This has always been somewhat of a melancholy period for me as I grieve the changing seasons, the ability to garden and all of the many losses that have occurred during the fall seasons of my life. Up’s and downs are a part of life and sometimes the quiet respite and melancholy come in like the tide and flow out again to higher energetic periods of joy and fulfillment. I find I don’t question it so much any more and just accept the ebb and flow of my moods and energy levels. I love coming here to your blog. Although I haven’t been here in awhile, I think of you often. Sometimes I say to myself, I wonder what Claudia would say about this? As some of your readers have noted, this is a sage place to engage in dialogue.
Like many folks I’ll be so glad when this election is over. It’s zapped my emotional energy. So many of my neighbor’s are angry and feeding of of T’s energy and speaking violently and poo-pooing his sexual comments as nothing serious. He in a volatile person and a temperament like his doesn’t belong in the whitehouse (just my opinion). This election are our political system is so devisive. Okay, I’m finished.
I know you will continue to blog. I understand your sadness with so many losses. You are loved by so many of your readers. You are bright, intelligent, creative, funny and have excellent critical thinking skills. I love reading your insights and thoughts about issues. Blogs that are all fluff, decor, recipes and no thoughful and honest dialog gets boring. Not here! You touch on things that are near and dear to my heart!
Same here. I find that transitioning out of gardening leaves a big gap in my life. If only I had a greenhouse!
I’m on the same page about the election, Sandy. So much anger, so many cruel things said about others and so much violence. Enough! We all need time to heal.
Thank you so much for your kind words, Sandy. They mean a great deal to me.
Oops, I made tons of spelling and sentence errors :) Note to self: Check before hitting the return button! Lol
Don’t worry about it!
I often wonder at this time of year if I’m the only one feeling a little trepidation and insecurity as summer ends and fall is beginning. I like to think I know what early man must have felt when he realized the days were getting shorter, and life was about to get harder, and I feel an ancestral bond. I think this year it’s compounded by the crazy political climate and all the disturbing events that have occurred in the world. There is a lot of uncertainty afoot, and it’s bound to make us feel unsteady. We have to be thankful for the small, simple aspects of our lives that bring normalcy, and I’m thankful for your blog…:)
Oh, thank you, Lori. It is indeed a troubling time of year and that, coupled with the seasonal change, makes for a strange Autumn.
While I enjoy reading your blog daily, maybe it would be good for you to take a day off every now and then…. Give yourself a break.
I would miss you and your readers very much though if you decided to stop blogging altogether. This has been a safe place to have a conversation about many things. And whatever you blog about and take photos of are always interesting to me, no matter what season it is. I personally find enjoyment in all of the four seasons, and sadness too due to losses in my life.
I think when this election is over we will all feel much better. Surely Hillary will win, and this hatred and divisiveness will fade away along with the angry orange man. Although I doubt he will go away quietly!
Oh, I don’t think he’ll go away quietly, Lily. He’s already revving up his followers to question the results of the ‘rigged’ election. I cannot find a strong enough adjective to express how I feel about him!
Our Dearest Claudia…you sound like a woman who needs a hug…if I could package one up and send it overnight I would do just that…instead, I will tell you that if ever you are in need of an extra large HUG…there is one waiting right here for you…xoxo, Nancy
Thank you, dear Nancy. If you were here, I would gladly take that hug!
Like Myra, and probably others here, I would love to hear more about your work as a voice and dialect coach. Your readers seem to love hearing about your nephew, as well. And your errands around town, to coffee shops and antique shops and bookstores, are fun for us. We like to hear about Don’s music and acting gigs, and what he’s cooking that day. We enjoy learning about all the places you’ve lived and the things you did there. Your childhood. Your miniatures; your quilting; your crocheting. The books you’re reading, of course. I think it may be because your baby-boomer life seems glamorous (Mary Tyler Moore! New York! Boston! San Diego!) and relate-able simultaneously. And you have collected such a nice group of readers from all over the world, who care enough about each other to leave supportive comments to one another now and then. I find that very touching.
Claudia, your readers are so thankful for your blog, and I’m sure everyone would understand if you took a “vacation” now and then. Everyone needs a break. Just do what’s best for you.
Thank you, Nancy. I’ve written about my work before and I might again. I’m not motivated to do much but read nowadays, but I have to change that. There are miniatures to be finished for Little Z, etc.
Claudia, I look forward to your blog each and every day, although I sometimes can’t get to it for a couple of days. I really admire you for sticking to writing every day.
That saying, I really like your opinion pieces about people, places you have visited, your work, and current events going on in this world. Your thoughts are always, well, thoughtful! And you have substance to back up your thoughts, as well as a pleasant writing style!
Your house is a very sweet, beautiful,…happy…home and I admire your skills with the miniature houses, but I love the across the table, over a cup of tea, ideas (and book reviews) from a no holes barred Claudia! :-)
Looking forward to all your future posts! Thank you for sharing them with your bloggy friends!
Lottie
Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and your support, Lottie!
Oh Claudia, I forgot to write about what I was going to comment on! I used to be really sad when the days got shorter and colder. Then when I was teaching, I started carpooling with a wonderful lady who was a science teacher! Every morning as we drove to work, she would give me a mini science lesson about the changing of the seasons. She would get so excited about nature and the world changing that I would get excited, too! She changed my whole perspective on fall! Each little change is a musical note in a great symphony of life! And if you look (and listen according to her), the beauty is overwhelming! Think of that when you and Don take your walks and pet the horses! I do as I walk my dog in our neighborhood.
Maybe I feel good because I’ve signed my absentee ballot and put it in the mail last Monday. It’s over! Now, to watch this morning’s sunrise………
I wish I could have been in on those conversations, Lottie! I think that information would help me traverse these seasonal changes.