I’ve been thinking a lot about technology lately. During the World Series, every other commercial was for some sort of cell phone that could function as a television, as a computer, as an iPod, as a way to text message endlessly or play games. Each commercial was conceived in a way that made the phone sound like the Second Coming. The message was that you could do anything with these phones. You could stay connected 24 hours a day. The advertising agencies have done a stellar job of convincing the public that they will not be connected without a cell phone that does everything. Bravo.
Listen, I love technology. I love my laptop, I have an iPod, I use the internet. I am grateful for the technological advances that have given me the opportunity to blog, to google something at a moment’s notice, to listen to music while on my computer, to call someone on my cell phone.
When I first met Don, I didn’t have a personal computer. I didn’t have a cell phone. Somehow, I survived. I decided to get my first cell phone for personal safety. I was often at rehearsals and performances until very late at night and the idea of being able to contact someone in an emergency was very comforting. For Don, a cell phone enabled him to keep in touch with his agents – no more beepers or calling an answering service. However, I distinctly remember my initial response to the idea of a cell phone: I didn’t always want to be reached. I wanted quiet in the car when I was driving. I wanted to walk down a street and not be tethered to my cell phone. I figured then, as I figure now, that if someone really needed to reach me, he or she could leave a message. Simple.
Now, when I walk down a city street – Manhattan, for example – all I see are people wearing ear phones, listening to music and/or texting, with heads down, isolated from everyone else on the street. No one looks at anyone they pass, no one is present. There seems to be a need to fill every moment with trivial text messages, with watching a television show on a tiny cell phone screen, with communications that are just so important that they cannot wait. Unless you’re the President, I have a feeling nothing is that important.
What good is all of this if it stops us from really connecting with others? What good are a 1000 friends on Facebook, if you can’t pick up the phone and call one? Who cares about the minutia that I would communicate if I had a Twitter account? Do you care that I’m going to the grocery store to get toilet paper? I hope not.
So much of this technologically advanced world we live in can be a positive force. I, for one, am very grateful for the chance to have this blog and for the opportunity it gives me to meet people from all over the world. I wouldn’t have that without these advances. I’ve found real, not virtual, friends through blogging. But sometimes I have to force myself to disconnect. Because there is life to be lived.
I remember the very first time I visited Manhattan. I was about 22 and I flew from Detroit to NYC to visit my college roommate. As I walked around the city, people kept smiling at me. It made me a bit nervous and I asked my friend about it. She told me it was because my face was so open, because I smiled in my friendly Midwestern manner and people were naturally drawn to that. I was approachable. I’m not so naive that I don’t know that you have to be careful in a city – I’ve lived in Boston, Philadelphia and San Diego. I didn’t have a car in either Boston or Philadelphia. I walked everywhere. I get it.
But what happens if we are so enthralled with our cell phones and our music players that we don’t open our eyes to those around us? We lose the opportunity to return a smile, pause and open a door for someone, help someone with a package, talk to someone while waiting in line, comment on the weather – any one of a number of ways to reach out and really connect with another human being. And that is what is important. Not a text. Not a virtual conversation. A real moment in time where two human beings smile or laugh or even commiserate with each other. Or for that matter, a moment in time where one just is.
My pal William Shakespeare said it best – “…a lot of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” If we fill up every moment with distractions, we never allow a moment to be.
This need to be connected is a real one for all of us. It is a fundamental need. We have to be careful that the illusion of being connected doesn’t replace what is real and lasting.
Oh, Claudia – I am SO with you on these thoughts! I’m glad it’s against the law here to talk on a hand-held cel while driving, but I still see people doing it all the time. And there is something about being with a friend who feels she must be reachable every minute of every day by everyone she knows – even for a nonsensical, unimportant conversation – while we are out on an annual get-together shopping trip that drives me completely crazy. I will never get call-waiting because I find it to be incredibly rude: “oh, excuse me – can you hold because this person is more important to me right now than my conversation with you”, is what they may as well be saying. Line busy? Call back! Want to talk to me – leave a message so I can call you back! Funny how we grew up just fine without our parents being able to call us even while we were at school. And we managed not to call and bother them while they were at work, too – didn’t we? We always had good old land-lines in case of emergency. Oh, sorry- now I am ranting on YOUR blog – this topic really got me going.
I’ll stop now.
I certainly agree we need to find a healthy balance. My heart always hurts when I see young people walking in crowds with earphones in. I sense they’re “communicating” that they’re not available for communication.
Applause! Applause! Applause!
Oh, Claudia, this needs to be said! I have thought this on so many ocassions, and I have even voiced similar sentiments. But you, my friend, have nailed it!
I’m not going to add one thing, except I agree with you.
I will say, however, that as a person who is always the last one to the party in terms of technology, I don’t actually regret it. And currently we are living sans television. Gasp! We have them, but we don’t turn them on. LOL! We don’t have them in St. Augustine at all. Why have one when you have restaurants and art galleries and performing arts and life at your doorstep?
Love you, my friend, and do you know, I think your friendly, open, pretty face with your warm smile is one of the reasons I love coming to your blog? That and the fact that you are a wonderful writer and a special person, one I’m proud to call my friend.
XO,
Sheila :-)
Claudia, everything you said is soooo true! None of my friend even know my cell phone number, and I don’t know theirs. I carry my cell phone with me to call AAA in an emergency, and I do carry it in case there is an emergency with one of the girls or with my dad, so my 5 immediate family members have the number and that’s it. It’s not used for casual conversations or anything like that. Although I do admit I had to learn to text because for some reason that is the best way to reach Courtney if I need her (she is of the hi-tech generation, unlike me!)… Donna
Claudia,
Well said. I love the technology for the task of figuring it all out. I am proud that at my stage of life I can text and blog and google. However,
I don’t feel the need to be so readily available to everyone. I like caller ID. I often don’t answer my cell phone. I get sick of the blah, blah, blah stuff.
Good job.
Carol
Post Script: Shortly after reading your post, we had a 3.8 earthquake with the epicenter practically under my house, and don’t you know I never stopped typing my Facebook message.
Later your post came to mind. HA!
I’d like to think it’s an homage to my multi-tasking skills.
Ah, yes, technology, a necessary evil . . . for me at least :) but what good did it do me today.
I was out shopping and did NOT hear my cell phone ring but did hear the voice mail tune which kept playing and playing and playing. It was stuck, take battery out, put back in. Minutes later phone is back up and running. Listen to voice mail. There is work for me, call the office ASAP.
I call but my phone is acting screwy (I do need a new one, track ball sticks and now today it got stuck and wouldn’t let me listen to voice mail or do anything) job has been given to someone else as I did not answer/respond quick enough.
In this instance, I lost money which I cannot afford to lose out on a job . . . ah yes, a necessary evil, a WORKING cell phone, LOL
xxoo
When you notice that I’m not blogging, or constantly checking facebook or email, it is because I’m at home, with my husband or out with my dad or taking my sweet nephew to lunch… I’m living my life. I sometimes feel a little guilty abandoning my blog, but then I have to remember, there are so many other things to be doing!
Love what you said, Claudia! You are so right.
xo
hear hear….but you say it so much better than I. You write beautifully. Very few have my cell phone number. I DO NOT want a phone call while I am standing in line at the grocery store or whereever. Is is really that important? I need my privacy when I want it. And this happens all the time. I am in a store shopping and the person near me says something and I turn to them thinking they are speaking to me and they are talking on their phone having what sounds to me like just a plain silly conversation. ugh! Okay…end of rant! So good to see you Claudia. Have missed you! Have a wonderful weekend. xoxo
I hear ya and I’m a techno-geek who “finally” got an iPhone. Hugely handy to have when I was traveling in DC because there were apps to get me from one museum from the next and I could check what was on without having to bring along my laptop.
However, I am pretty good at leaving the phone in my purse in its locker at work and ignoring it when its inconvenient to answer (like when I’m in line or what have you). I firmly believe that if it was important enough to call me, it’s important enough to leave a message. Unless of course, it’s my hubby. He hates leaving messages!
But I realized something on the bus this morning. Praying while reading an app during my commute is just not the same as sitting in my quiet house, holding a prayer book in my hands.
So absolutely true, honey. I lament on a regular basis about the families I see in the restaurants with every single member—even very young children—with a cell phone. I hate them for the noise they make and the way they “take” away from true contact. I only use mine for emergencies and NOTHING else. I prefer seeing people and sitting down with a cup of hot chocolate and talking face to face. Sigh… But then I’m an old lady. ;-) As you, I’m hooked up with computers and laptops in this house, but they’ll never, ever take the place of a “real life visit.”
xoxo,
Connie
Still not able to be on this iMac too long but thought I’d surf a bit of my favorite blogs today.
I am so thankful for cell phones. Since my children live so far from us, it would be harder to keep in touch without them. Of course, now, we have free long distance from our land line, but that’s because of the competition with cell phones. I also love having a web cam. Our daughter out West calls us on it fairly often so we can keep up with her little ones.
I also love blogging and, as you said, making SOME real friends through it.
I don’t ever listen to music except on my car radio or the computer when I’m sewing.
I don’t know how we survived without some of these items. I’m being sarcastic, but really how did we?
As I am reading your comment, they showed on TV just now about a woman using her cell phones AND HER KINDLE while DRIVING! Where will it all end?? I agree wholeheartedly with you and I hate being in a restaurant and be stressed by someone talking on their cell like it was a microphone at the top of their voice like they are just so important they must share with the rest of us. It is very rude! I agree with your other commenter, I think Call Waiting is very rude! I have been put on hold talking long distance for a senseless, inconsiderate caller that sees the person every day. Okay, I’m done, too-ha! Thanks for letting us all vent!
Oh wow, Claudia, you are singing my song (and apparently the song of a lot of others here too)!
I totally don’t “get” Twitter. I agree, who wants to know what everyone is doing every minute of the day? Not me! I also don’t really get the point or understand the popularity of Facebook once you’ve “connected” with someone. Why not just email directly?
I have a cell phone but it’s really ancient because I only use it for emergencies, so of course I don’t text. When I’m out running errands, I do not want to be chit-chatting about drivel. And regarding cell phones…I think it’s really sad how so many people are on them CONSTANTLY. I’ve actually witnessed two people walking side by side, not talking to each other but both chatting away on their cell phones! I was even in a public restroom one time and the woman in the stall next to me actually answered her cell phone while she was peeing! Can you imagine? :o I couldn’t help but wonder what was so darn important that it couldn’t wait 1 minute until she was done and had washed her hands. :::rolling eyes:::
I heartily agree with your post today regarding technology. However I do get worried that I shall become a “prehistoric creature” if I don’t keep up somehow. I believe I am not constantly important and I know I am not needing to be constantly in-touch. I relish silence and “me-time”. I actually have a 2005 TracFone for emergencies. Rock on technology for all those who come after me. :o) Happy weekend…
I feel like standing up and applauding, Claudia. Dang girl, you can write. Being that I was one of the last adults in this country to buy a cell phone, I love everything you wrote.
I do love the convenience and safety aspects of my cell phone, but I won’t allow it to be “a leash”. I don’t check my phone every second of the day, and my friends and family know that.
Don’t even get me started about twittering, twitting, tweeting, or whatever that is. I love my friends dearly, but the concept of them enjoying a play-by-play of my life is simply absurd to me. I did set up a facebook account for my dog, just so I could see what all the fuss was about. I came to the conclusion that it’s just not my thing. My blog is enough for me. It’s more creative use of time, in my humble opinion.
I love what you wrote: “If we fill up every moment with distractions, we never allow a moment to be.”
Amen, sister.
Hugs,
Jill
Claudia, I hear you, I hear you. I am the most technological resist person around, but I have found that I cannot live without:
texting: it’s how my kids like to communicate. And I’ve converted many friends to this as well.
DVR: I would never be able to adapt back to a VCR. I am a total slave to my list of DVR recordings.
Internet: I blog. Enough said. Kids talked me into it. As I said, enough said.
Cell phone: we no longer have a landline. I miss it, but since my parents are no longer around, I’m ok. Although I still miss it – did I say that?
GPS: I hate that woman! Sorry, whoever you are. “Recalculating”.
Email: Love/hate. Love hearing from friends and family who might not otherwise call. Hate spam….
Skype: Love that I can see my son who lives on the other side of the country and his beautiful GF. Hate that they can see me in my PJs since we usually skype after 10pm our time. Ugh, I look bad.
Ipod: Love! Personal music delivered to my head.
Claudia, thanks once again for making us think. And if it weren’t for the internet and blogs, I never would have discovered so many interesting people that I can chat with “over the fence”. Ann
hi claudia,
so well said. i gave up my cell phone over a year ago and have never looked back. i survive just fine w/o one. my friends think i’m nuts and think it’s dangerous for me to not have one. i’m almost 53 and i’m going to be fine. now we have a landline only that costs $5 a month that is added to our internet bill. so you will never see me talking on a cell phone in a restaurant, my personal favoritie pet peeve.
~janet
claudia, I’m working on a post of this very thing right now.. I think it’s so sad, this disconnect over being overly connected.
Amen, amen and amen! Yesterday I had some electricians in to finish some work. One told me that his father was an artist. That he could sculpt, draw, paint, create murals. Except, he said, his father got addicted to playing computer games and no longer created in his free time. How sad, I said. As you know, I don’t do Facebook or Twitter. I don’t turn my TV on during the day. I like it quiet. I am easily overwhelmed in this noisy world. My cell phone, for the most part, stays off. I prefer to use it if I really need it. Not for a distraction. Amen, sista!
Brenda
I guess since I’m living in such a different world (on the side of a remote mountain), I look at technology as a very good thing. When I go into town there are a few people on cell phones, but the majority are open and friendly and always ready for a little small talk. So I have the best of both worlds. I can email my son in Japan and chat with him, visit my blogging friends online, call my family over the weekend on my cell phone and still have that everyday in-person connection we all cherish.
This was such a thoughful post, Claudia. Balance – that thing I’ve been chatting about over at my blog – is so important. Whenever we feel like we’re tipping too far one way, we shift a little, and are ready to go again!
Happy weekend to you!!!
Zuzu
You said a mouth full! It’s a love/hate thing, eh? Having teenagers in the house means I have to compete with technology 24/7. It gets old! I’m also distraught that my kids can’t plan anything ahead. Everything is spur of the moment and it makes me crazy! I tell them it isn’t healthy to be connected every second to the miniscule drama via txting and fb’ing. That it’s sometimes nice to go out for a cup of coffee and face to face interaction.
I don’t think they get it (or they think I don’t get it)…but maybe someday they will. *sigh*
okay, miss claudia, this piece is excellent and i think you should send it someplace. the ny times? i dunno but someplace. excellent commentary.
i often liken myself to fred flintstone. i have the pay-as-you-go cell phone, have never made time to figure out my ipod (sad), and can barely figure out the cable box. thank goodness that blogger is pretty much plug ‘n play!
love your writing, sweet friend.
happy weekend ~ enjoy the extra hour!
xo
elyse
I agree with you too. It’s nice not to be reached at every moment of the day. As for Twitter, I think it’s obnoxious and stay away from it. No, I do not care that you are going to the store to buy tp!
Have a great weekend Claudia!
Well said Claudia, I do love to blog and to keep in touch with my children….but I do remember the days when we all had our noses in a book, or when it was a date with the kids to sit down and play a board game. some how I think priorities shifted, now my boss will sit across from me during a meeting, and he spends the whole time texting!!!
One of our head mangers insists on everyhtin done by emails….this makes for such frustrating situations where we are all lined up waiting to use the one computer!
I love all the responses to your post, it seems to be a passionate topic for everyone, and so many interesting views. Although I do agree, you should put this post to print in the newspaper.
Hugs,
Margaret B
You took the words out of my mouth! I was just sharing these very thoughts with a dear friend this week. It is like that commercial….”Really?”
This is so why I never learned to text nor do I have anything but a cell phone and a desk top. I believe in a good chat on the phone and a smile to someone with a kind conversation. That is what life is all about – communicating and sharing.
Thanks for putting this post up, Claudia.
xoxo
Becky
Claudia…Happy Birthday Month!
Girl, you couldn’t have said what’s in my mind any better than you just did!
Sometimes I could just crawl in a hole and get away from the computer, internet, iPhone, TV, etc!!!!! I just quiet…maybe a place of my own just for a moment with just the simple things…the way it USED to be.
Life is moving so fast and it’s so impersonal. No one even knows a phone number anymore…it’s all in the contacts. I’m guilty, but I don’t want to be like that…we are our ownselves to blame :(
I’m so with you girl…
This is so well said, yet I am a junkie…lol! I do understand not wanting to be reached every second!
I completely agree with you. I love technology, but its really so overboard these days.
I have an iPod that I really only use to rehearse, run (to help keep pace) and to bring music to work.
As far as my cell, people are always shocked when I give people my home number or tell them that I barely know how my cell works. I don’t even get messages for days because I never even look at it. My husband didn’t get a phone until I was in my last trimester of pregnancy. For us, it really is for emergencies only.
I so agree!!! And so well said.
For some work reasons, I have worked with computer since almost 30 years now, I have experienced the first personal computers, word processing (in the late 80s !) we were the first to be connected with internet in 1995 and yet I have no cell phone.
I live well without one. In fact I hate the telephone. Our consumer society creates needs for us to consume and that will worsen.
It is a pity people are not writing hand letters nowadays it is one of the best way to communicate with others and there is something very private and personal in a hand-written letter. I do it myself as often as possible.
Anyway, as you say so, we must be reasonable in the use of new technologies and not let us go beyond.
All the best
Hi Claudia,
Yes indeed you are so right on. When I go to the mall I see everyone with a cell phone in their hand or in their ear..looking down to text. It’s crazy….and talking on the cell phone while driving is very distracting (I agree with Opra on this one).
Loved your post!….
Also Don’s song was very touching. My husband sings also…one day I will post about it.
Have a sweet day and big hugs, Elizabeth