I’m rambling a bit this morning.
Every once in a while, I find myself observing my blogging experience from a dispassionate distance. Invariably, this thought occurs: “What the hell am I doing, sharing all this information with people all over the world?”
Because, if you stop for a moment and think about it, that realization can be alarming. When this happens, I often have another thought almost simultaneously: “I’ll just stop blogging and delete everything.”
Obviously, I don’t act on that thought. But who knows? I might, someday.
Don and I were talking about blogging the other day; about what I choose to share with my readers and what I keep private for whatever reason. Every blogger wrestles with this kind of decision and every blogger has a different comfort level as to what makes the cut.
I’ve always aimed for honesty on this blog. I think that you have a pretty good idea of who I am. I hope, in turn, that I’ve been honest enough in my writing to indicate that I’m not perfect. I have my moments of insanity. So does Don. Sometimes I share them with you; often, I don’t. I don’t necessarily want to share my middle-of-the-night worries with you. I don’t share the daily stresses of our life, though we have them. We have a very, very good marriage, Don and I, but it’s not always choirs singing and rose petals covering every surface.
In other words, we are good, but flawed, people trying to be even better people.
All bloggers, if they are truly honest about this process, will tell you that they present an edited version of themselves to their readers. Because who wants to read everything? Who wants to read a steady stream of negativity and worries and complaints? I sure don’t. That doesn’t mean I read blogs to escape – I don’t. I like to get a sense of the blogger behind the words.
The balancing act comes from walking the tightrope of what to share and what to keep private, when to be positive and when to share fears and challenges. It’s tricky, that tightrope.
Overall, I think I handle that challenge fairly well. The truth is, I’m basically a positive person who finds humor and beauty in my daily life, though there are the occasional dark moments. What you read on a daily basis on this blog is a pretty good indicator of my frame of mind. You don’t need to hear about all of my worries. You don’t need to hear about trying to make the mortgage payment every month or constantly hear about the ups and downs of working on freelance basis in the Performing Arts. Occasionally. But rarely.
After all, those challenges are also our choices.
You also don’t need to hear about my daily worries about Scout and the ups and downs of her life at the age of 16. Only occasionally. I learned about that the hard way when I shared a lot about Riley’s struggles and a reader left a mean-spirited, very long and very judgmental comment in which she decided she should be the one to tell me it was time to end his life. She, apparently, felt she knew best. When I kindly but firmly told her she had overstepped, she went off in a huff. Good riddance.
Because, you see, sharing with readers also means that you’ll have the occasional insane comment. Inviting readers into your blog home means that you run the risk of encountering an ass or two. That’s okay, I guess. On the whole, I have encountered that sort of thing rarely. My readers are pretty classy and wonderfully supportive, if I do say so myself!
But just as in real life, you learn the hard way what to share and what to keep close to the chest. I’ve had the occasional encounter with a supposed ‘friend’ who decided to blab about things I had shared in confidence – who took that information and twisted it, using it against me. That sort of thing always gets back to you. The consequence? You’re more careful about what you share and who you share it with.
I suspect we’ve all been there, at one time or another.
In my seven years of blogging, I think I’ve firmly established my sharing-comfort-level. I’ll always be honest with you, dear readers, but I won’t share everything!
Believe me, you should experience a sense of relief after reading that statement.
The tightrope is tricky. But I won’t be getting off any time soon.
By the way, nothing has happened to spur this post. Just thoughts based on my talk with Don – a talk that made me think about this crazy, but wonderful, blogging existence.
(Photos: top, crown vetch in bloom; middle, scaevola; bottom, yarrow.)
New post up on Just Let Me Finish This Page – hint: my thoughts on the publication of Go Set A Watchman.
Happy Saturday.
Claudia, I started reading your blog long before I made any comments, but I so enjoy your daily writings. I believe you are a positive person as am I, but we all have ours moments. Such is life. Your photos are so nice and peeks into your life with Don and Scout are wonderful. I think some bloggers do write too much negative thoughts and none of us need that. Your blog is one I look forward to every morning. If you have a bump in your life I think we can all identify with it. Keep on doing what you do! Have a great weekend!
Aw, thanks so much for your kind words, Susan. Have a wonderful weekend!
It is a very difficult tightrope to walk indeed! Just as in life! I hope you are happy with your own balance. xx
I think I am! Sometimes, I wonder about it, but most of the time I feel comfortable where I am.
Claudia, I think that you have struck the perfect balance in what you share of your life. You share enough to be authentic but not so much that I have ever cringed. I feel as though you are a friend and certainly are someone I care about. I kind of view you as a pen pal. We share some interests but your life is different enough from mine to be very interesting to me. I am drawn by your interest and life in the Arts. You are a very talented lady and are certainly gifted in communication.
Good to know you’ve never cringed! I have read some blog posts where I did cringe and it’s not pretty!
Thank you, Carolyn Marie.
Totally agree! I can only speak for myself, but I find it hard to find that balance between sharing too much personal information and not sharing enough. And then I worry about the “creepers” out there that might be reading my blog and figuring out where I live. There’s a little “worries” on my end with blogging, too but that’s another story for another time. I really enjoy your blog, Claudia and am glad you keep writing.
Oops…typing too fast for my thoughts…
*OTHER little “worries” on my end
xo
I worry about the same things, Melanie. Sigh. It’s a constant challenge, isn’t it?
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.
Claudia, I think all of us who share our real lives on our blogs, walk that tightrope…some better then others! You share enough that I feel like I know you and yet you aren’t ‘over=sharing’! I have been lucky to not have many negative comments, but I have a few blog posts rattling around in my head that have the ability to bring many negatives so they are still in my head. I need to think about it some more. I have things I want to share but do hesitate. I want to stand up for things I believe but don’t want my blog to become political or controversial, that’s not why I blog. Well as you can tell your post really hit home with me. I do think if you put out positive thoughts you will get them back in return.
hugs,
Linda
Oh, I know exactly what you mean! I so want to share my thoughts about what’s happening in the world and my passionate political beliefs, but you’re right – that’s not the tenor of this blog.
What you send out definitely comes back to you! Much love, my friend.
I’ve always admired the way you balance all of it … sharing just enough that it feels like we know you, and finding you’re just like the rest of us. I always look forward to reading whatever you have to share with us Claudia.
Thank you so much, Debbie!
Well said! I love your writing style and honesty! We all have challenges to overcome, isn’t that why we are here in this mortal life?
I suppose it is!
I look forward to reading your post every morning. Thanks for sharing your life with us.
Hi Claudia! Amen! I agree with you 100%!. I like to keep my blog lighthearted and happy. There’s enough sadness and junk around. I do share my heart at times but I don’t like to share the negativity very ofter. There’s enough of that anyway. I know what you mean, we have some bloggers who tell us much more than we need to know. I did not need to know how often one goes to the bathroom! ;) Anyway, you’ve said a mouthful for us and I’m glad you’re you and the way you blog!
Be a sweetie,
Shelia :)
Thank you, Shelia! Sharing your heart is a good thing. We just have balance everything so that negativity doesn’t take over. That’s no fun at all!
Thank you, Kathy!
Hi, you know about the vicious message I received from a blogger a few years ago, it still makes me leary about putting myself out there in any manner. It was such an ugly rant, and even though I know it was really all about her own very deep issues, it still hurt and has limited my blogging. I would love to be able to change that.
I loved reading today’s post Claudia, and even though it was about how you don’t share everything, which I personally think is the healthiest way to blog, I feel that I know you even better! Thank you for writing such a heartfelt post. xxoo
It usually is about the other person’s issues, but nonetheless, it can hurt. I’m glad you’re blogging again – don’t let them get you down, my friend.
My hubby calls you my long distance friend…someone else said pen-pal. I’ve learned so much about the performing arts lifestyle, your stories, your garden, and your wonderful relationship with Don. And you’ve introduced me to the world of doll houses and miniatures. But, I’m old enough to realize that all is not perfect…with you or me. That’s life. Telling too much can leave us vulnerable and open to criticism…that must be some tightrope you as a blogger have to walk. Thank you for sharing your life with us…and especially your flowers. You have become my long distance friend! ;)
I’m so honored, Donnamae! And I’m so glad you consider me your long distance friend!
I enjoy your honesty, your appreciation of the arts and your ability to find beauty in everyday life. I think you have found a balance in what you share and what you keep private. Your garden photos today are absolutely gorgeous! My garden is a sorry, soggy mess and if it ever stops raining, I’ll get to work on it!
Ours was soggy until very recently! It will pay off in lush blooms, my friend!
Your blog posts always put in a wonderful frame of mind to start my day. I appreciate your honest take on life, and as an experienced blog reader, I know you have to edit yourself. However, I find your thoughts, commentaries and viewpoints refreshingly honest. I often discuss your posts with my daughters. Thanks for being here almost every day.
Discussing my posts with your daughters is a high form of praise, Wendy. Thank you!
I love reading your blog and seeing all the wonderful and beautiful pictures. We all have our ups and downs, that is just life. I think you do a wonderful job. As for people who have negative thoughts, who are they to be judging anyone else. Some people are just like that. By the way the flooring on the roof looks great! This is making me want to start a little house of my own!!
Have a wonderful day and weekend
hugs to all
Oh, go for it, Nancy! You know I’m a dollhouse/miniature enabler, don’t you?
I agree 100% with your post today. It’s a fine line between wanting readers to get to know us and telling too much or being too negative. You know how I feel about that!!
Great post. I consider you and your family to be one of my dearest friends! I hope that we get to meet face to face someday. What a joy that would be!
Judy
It would be unbelievably joyful, my friend! Thank you.
A very good post, Claudia. I have long left the blogs where the blog owner is too 150% Miss Mary Sunshine…because it makes me feel bad about my own life, which is not 150% perfect by any stretch. On the other hand, I have also left blogs where the blog owner used it as a platform to talk about every single thing wrong with her ex-husband or children from who she is estranged, apparently hoping they’d be reading, all of which made me squirm as some sort of interloper in a tragic family drama. I am actually down to about a half-dozen blogs for reading/visiting, only 3 of which I’ll leave a reply on, although my replies are always too long and I have a problem with self-editing despite trying to stay on topic. Overall, as a blog reader, I have learned a lot, about a lot of things, for which I’m truly grateful to those blog owners and their readers for the sharing of good info; lots of new discoveries about subjects I’d not necessarily have stumbled upon otherwise. I feel blogging can definitely ‘widen’ your world, especially if you’re living a life somewhat confined as I have been for too long with various degrees of compromised health which prevent me from getting ‘out in the world’ as much as I’d like (sort of like armchair traveling!).
I would heretofore raise my eyebrow that there could be such a thing as cyber friendships but I’ve changed my mind on that because the world, more than ever, is made up of lots of different kinds of relationships and I believe, particularly, that women seek a connection to each other…and may be missing it in ‘real life.’ My grandmothers had a back door always open, neighbors who would come in for coffee where a pot was always fresh on the stove with a pie in the cupboard. They lived in farm communities where church was a big part of their lives, often twice a week and a Sunday potluck. They sat around the quilt frame and met up at the general store when they went ‘to town.’ Things changed over time, life got a different rhythm, women began to work outside the home; you perhaps couldn’t be ‘friends’ as freely with co-workers when your common denominator was your employer/paycheck. “Time” became a huge factor in a woman’s life, trying to balance work at home, work at the office or factory, needs of children and family or any quiet moment for personal relaxation…and it sometimes left NO time for other necessary friendships, like those with your neighbors and gal-pals. Then came email & blogging, which you could do at midnight if you wanted to…in other words, you could squeeze it in like maybe you couldn’t with a ‘girl-friends’ lunch out, due to time constraints…and it doesn’t take the place of face-to-face conversation but it filled a empty hole of connecting with women (or men) about whatever was on the mind. This is my take on it anyway.
As for that fine line, I think you get it just right, Claudia. Why do you think I return as a reader even if I go some periods of time without checking in? I have never been bored or offput by your blog, ever. You’re an intelligent and pretty real woman to us cyber readers!
Oh, you’re so right! Who wants to be in the middle of a messy family relationship? Who wants to hear about it endlessly? Maybe one mention, if that, and then nothing more for a good, long while, I say.
Anyway, I agree – cyber friendships can be wonderful things. I have made some truly good friends through blogging and I treasure those friendships, just as I would any important relationship.
this was a good read! You stated things very thoughtfully and wisely.
just a note to say that my puppies and I send our love to beautiful Dame Scout. Wish our babies could live as long as we do. Hugs.
Aw, Scout thanks you, Tracy!
Interesting and insightful post today and illustrative of why I read your blog daily. I’m not a blogger but have been thinking about some of the same issues with Instagram. How much of myself and my life do I want to reveal? When my daughters’ dear friend recently visited and photographed all of us (she’s a photojournalist) I started to post shots of the girls, thought twice , and then asked for their consent. Tricky, isn’t it? I think you strike a perfect balance.
It is tricky. I won’t publish a photo of a family member without their permission. Even in this social media-driven world, I think we have to be cautious.
You hit a good balance with your blog. As you know, there is always a negative person that can’t wait to share that negativity. That is true every where. Count yourself lucky that you only have an occasional nut case reading. I purposely read your blog because it is uplifting. Who wants to hear problems….we all have our own difficulties. I prefer to stay positive. Keep blogging and I will keep reading. Have a blessed week. Patty Mc
Thank you, Patty. And I do count myself lucky – and also thank the blogging gods for the ‘delete comment’ option on my blog!
Who among us has a perfect life..if any of you do you should write a book for the rest of us..lol..Have a nice weekend Claudia..
I think we’re all agreed that no one has a perfect life! Have a wonderful weekend, Nancy.
I think I have mentioned previously that I feel like we are having coffee when I read your blog every day. I think that we all need to set boundaries in most relationships. As a blogger, I am sure you are more conscious of that than the rest of us need to be. So many who post the too perfect pictures, every single day, are ones which I assume to be more fluff than real. Maybe it is because, being in my 60’s, most of us by now are more about being real than putting on airs. Nothing is perfect, and I tend to move away from people who spend so much time trying to convince me ~ or themselves ~ that things are! And I do that with people in my face-to-face life as well as bloggers I follow. We all have a few dents and bruises, as do our children, our spouse, and our homes. Those imperfections are what gives us character. A life of perfect just doesn’t sound like much fun to me. Sharing your love of pottery, egg cups, MHC, Caroline’s house, your playlists, and taking us on your journeys is wonderful. It is just what good friends share. None of us should ever ask for any more than that. To me, you are a bit like Goldilocks ~~ what you share is just right! I think of you as my coffee buddy every day. Thanks for that!
Oh, thank you for your kind words, Chris! I couldn’t ask for a better response to this blog than hearing you feel like we’re having coffee together!
Your blog is the only one I consistently come back to and know I will enjoy. I took some time to think about it and yours is a very balanced blog. Not too much of anything. I believe you go out of your way to present a fair and balanced blog even when it presents something that is maybe bugging you. I hope I am not overstepping in saying its like having a nice chat with a cyber friend no matter the subject. I for one would miss you terribly. Im very selective what blogs I spend time following and I wouldn’t miss yours. Sending good thoughts to you and Scout and Don and thank you for welcoming us in.
You’re not overstepping at all, Sue. Thank you for the kind words.
You know…….I was just thinking about this very topic the other day. What to talk about? What NOT to talk about. Life happens and we do share about those tender times. That is the honesty about life. Nobody has a perfect life – and if they do, I’d love to hear all about it over pie and coffee….a coconut cream pie would be just perfect! I like the story Vicki shared about the days of church socials, visits from neighbors. Those are the good times. But I am thankful to have met you and other cyber friends and the icing on the cake is to meet them in person! If you and Judy EVER get together, please keep me in mind. I adore the two of you!
I have had hateful comments left for me and they are always anonymous ones, too. For shame to hide behind the ANO! Ass bites! Sorry, had to say that.
I always enjoy your posts! If only we didn’t live on opposite ends of the country. If you come to California, I would drive to meet you!
hugs,
Becky
Love ‘ass bites’, Becky! Perfect way of describing those people. Oh, to have a meet-up with you and Judy! That would be heaven!
Claudia, your blog is a pleasant read for me everyday. You share just enough about your life in my opinion. I don’t have a blog myself, and the main reason being that I am a very private person. I’m leery of putting myself out there, so to speak. I don’t even do Facebook anymore after one of my relatives went too far with her drama…. And there are a few blogs I don’t read anymore due to either the blogger being too fake or revealing way more than I ever wanted to know!
I do so love your blog! We share so many of the same interests. I definitely consider you a cyber friend, which I hope you don’t mind…. I’ve spent weeks recuperating from two major surgeries in the past six months and your blog along with a good cup of coffee is always a bright spot in my day. :-)
I don’t mind at all! I’m glad we are cyber friends! I hope you’re feeling much better after your surgeries, Lily.
Claudia, I feel the same as all those who wrote comments today!
Your blog is one of the nicest & best I read on a daily basis.
Cyber friends? I hope we are!
We are!
Your blog is THE best! I would be extremely sad if you stopped.
I would be, too.
I find your blog uplifting and always positive, a welcome treat from what our news media offers 24/7. I genuinely enjoy your point of view, your photography and especially your love of hubby and your adorable dog! Please don’t change, I recently deleted so many blogs that seem to have newfound ailments, self diagnosed perhaps, but who needs the drama? One even has a donation box for assistance in her monthly financial situation. So rather than complain or write a rude note/comment just step away….. thank you every day for bringing us some sunshine and photos to remember!
I agree, Marcy. That monthly donation box was the last straw.
S
You are most welcome, Marcy Ray!
I think you strike a nice balance between the parts of your life. I think when we feel like we have made an online friend we always want more….but you know the old saying…leave them wanting more. I don’t like all happiness and light, some reality makes us all relate to one another. If I had a blog I wouldn’t share every sad or uncomfortable situation, it wouldn’t be loyal to my husband or who ever was the cause of the misery that day….momentary as it may be.
Totally agree, Gayle! We have to be careful about that sort of thing.