I took this photo with my iPhone and posted it to Instagram yesterday. My little girl, just about to fall asleep. I really like it, so here it is for those of you who don’t do Instagram.
She sleeps a lot nowadays. She has good days and bad days and is very much like Riley was in that her limbs are unsteady and she falls a lot. We support her when she’s eating. We help her in and out of the house. She’s declining, but she’s still a strong minded girl who loves to eat and be near us, who on a good day will walk around the corral and sniff everything in her path, who loves to watch her dad cook dinner, and who can sometimes still clear the two steps from the den to the living room in one jump, so we will do what we did with Riley. We’ll love her and hold her and tell her we’re taking care of her and not to worry and that we’ll watch over her. She is our priority, plain and simple.
She doesn’t bark anymore. But interestingly, the other morning while we were still in bed, we heard her barking repeatedly for a minute or so. She was dreaming. That’s when she barks. We welcome the sound.
Every day, we are worrying about her, watching her, gauging the state of her health. We’re never far from her. She is our girl – our almost seventeen year old girl – and the fact that she is still with us is a miracle. So we treasure every moment with her.
She’s been with us almost as long as we have been married. She’s outlived her brothers. She’s lived on the West Coast. She’s lived on the East Coast. She’s traveled across the country in a Honda CR-V. She’s charmed absolutely everyone she has ever met. She is an angel.
You see, this is why I don’t write about her these days – except briefly. I’m crying. It’s always right below the surface of every moment. This knowledge that we will have to say goodbye in the not-so-distant future.
So let’s move on to something frivolous. A new piece of Roseville arrived yesterday.
In the Magnolia pattern, a little window box. I fell in love with the color and the design. It’s about 3½ inches tall and 8 inches wide. This is, I think, the front.
This is the back. But then again, maybe not….
Whatever way I’m looking at this piece, I love it. I had to gimp my way down to the mailbox yesterday to get it. Our postperson always toots her horn when she attaches a package to the mailbox, so I knew I had to get down there and get it.
Isn’t it pretty? Can’t you see it sitting on a windowsill in some home in the forties or fifties? Maybe planted with ivy or african violets or a succulent or two?
Yesterday’s scarf sold overnight. I’m working on a few orders at the moment, but I do have one other skein in shades of green that I will offer in the shop as soon as I can get to it.
Happy Thursday.
Shanna says
What a beautiful piece of pottery! Scout and Riley, and your love for them first drew me to your blog. At the time, Riley was starting to show his age, as was our terrier, Calder. We lost Calder shortly after you lost Riley. You were putting my heartbreak into words and I could relate all too well. We have another terrier now who is the love of my life, but she was a rescue and so we missed the first five years of her life. Oh how I wish that their lives could be longer. I’ll be hoping for the very best for you and Don and Scout in this all-too-short time we have with our furry babies.
Claudia says
Thank you, Shanna. If there’s one thing I think the Universe/Creator/God didn’t get right, it’s the fact that our beloved companions have such short lives. xo
Sue says
Yet another post which shows what brings many readers back day after day.
Your sharing the emotions when it comes to your beautiful companion allows me to not only sympathize, but also remember many of those same feelings.
I hope whatever time you all have together creates only more beautiful memories.
Your new pottery piece is lovely. It’s shape lends it to so many possibilities.
Hope today brings forward progress with your ankle.
Claudia says
Thank you, Sue. This is such a hard time for me, coping with the loss of my father and, in a delayed manner, my mother. And watching Scout decline. To be honest, sometimes the heartbreak is just too much to bear.
Sue says
It sounds to trivial to say “I understand”. I believe we all need to take our own time with grief. When life deals us too many blows in close succession, sometimes the pain does seem unbearable.
I try to remember that time does not erase good memories, but we all need to find what works best for us in times of sorrow.
We will keep you in our prayers.
Claudia says
Thank you, Sue.
Janie F. says
Bless your sweet girl!
Claudia says
Thank you, Janie.
Sue Silva says
Seventeen IS a miracle. But it’s never long enough, is it?
S
xo
Claudia says
No, it never is, Sue – that’s for sure.
cindy says
our beloved pets oh how I have loved and treasured each and every one. Each one different from the next. When we lost our last girl, Chloe shortly after our move here to Arizona I thought I was so done and that I could never go through it again, somehow the spirit heals and yes we adopted a little funny abandoned dog. Sir wendell has filled the void.
It is funny how those that leave us both human and animal take part of us with them when they go but they also leave part of themselves with us forever.
Claudia says
You’re very right. To me, they are angels here on earth – no judgment, just pure love.
Grace says
That brings tears to my eyes too<3
Claudia says
I’m sorry to make you cry, Grace! But I understand and thank you.
Mary Sullivan says
You are the best parents and I’m certain sweet Scout knows that and thanks you – perhaps that’s what she’s doing in her dreams when you still hear her barking now and then.
Love, Mary
Claudia says
I hope so, Mary. That’s a beautiful thought and I’ll hold it close to me.
Dottie says
So beautifully written. We who have loved and lost our furbabies understand what you are saying. Bless you, Claudia.
Claudia says
Thank you, Dottie.
Barbara W. says
Scout always looks so lovely and fluffy!
I sometimes have dreams about animals no longer with us (mostly horses) that I miss very much. It’s a comfort that they seem to be doing just fine.
Claudia says
That would be very comforting, Barbara. I try to imagine my dogs and my parents’ dogs romping together and having lots of fun. I miss them all.
Linda @ A La Carte says
Claudia, I know you are going through a very sad time right now. Watching sweet Scout decline isn’t easy I know. I have never had a cat as long as I’ve had Charlie (17 yrs) and this past year I have watched him really go downhill. I am so sad but try not to dwell on it, but it is always right there below the surface. I sense you and Don are the same. We can just love on them, take care of them and be there for them. Your new piece of Roseville is very pretty!
hugs,
Linda
Claudia says
We are the same. All we can do is love them completely while they are still here with us. I know you’re facing the same thing with your sweet Charlie.
Wendy TC says
We can never do enough for our animal companions, can we? I’m still grieving for and missing the cats who have come through my life. Our animals enrich our lives so much, with their live-in-the-moment enthusiasm, and selfless sharing of their joy and affection. I, also, think that’s the last one. I can’t go through the heartache again. But I remember the smile that popped up on my tired face when I return from work and my Sienna was right at the door to greet me and how she trotted beside me to where I take my shoes off. Then she’d follow me around until I finally settled down in a chair and she could hop into my lap for a cuddle. Adopting another rescue cat and making her a part of my family is in my near future, I know it.
You and Don are the best ever parents Scout could ever want and need. Be near her. Enjoy her. Love her.
Claudia says
We will. Thank you, Wendy.
Donnamae says
That is a gorgeous piece of Roseville! I was brought tears myself, after reading your thoughts on Scout. We can never get enough of them it seems. We just have to treasure every minute we can with our fur babies. Sending blessings to Scout! ;)
Claudia says
Thank you, Donnamae. I’m sure she feels everyone’s love. xo
Chris K in Wisconsin says
Sweet Scout. She does know how much you both love her. Each time we go through this with one of ours, I swear that there will NEVER be another one because the pain is too much. And then…. somehow we find another one who we KNOW needs us ~ which in reality is ~ that we actually need them,,, and off we go again. Their lives are much too short. But, the memories they leave with us will never end.
The pottery piece is lovely! How is the ankle? I know you were aiming for your IKEA trip today??
Claudia says
I think we’ll wait until next week sometime. IKEA requires a LOT of walking and I think I should wait on that. Plus, I don’t know what shoes I would wear!
Nancy Blue Moon says
My niece’s border collie had the same troubles when when she was going downhill…it was so heartbreaking to see…Belle was like Scout loved by everyone…I’ll never forget her laying her head in my lap when I would visit and looking up at me with those big brown eyes…She was a rescue and I don’t understand how anyone could have given her up…I would love to tell them what they lost by doing it…I have no doubt in my mind that Scout knows her time is near and she is holding on just trying to make it last…because she loves you two so much…She doesn’t want to leave you…but life is life…and death is death..in the end all we have is the memories…so hopefully we have done our best to make them good…and you have…OK…Now that I am crying like a baby I must tell you how gorgeous that window box is…what a pretty blue…I’m not sure it matters which side is which but if you say that is the front..so be it!…lol..Hugs..
Claudia says
It’s breaking my heart. And Don’s.(Scout was a rescue, too.)
Janet in Rochester says
My very first experience with grief was losing our Duchess, who was 16 when she left us. Mom and Dad had Duch before they had me. I was 16 at the time too, and was really heartbroken. Someone who had been part of my life forever was now gone. It was also the first and only time I ever saw my Dad cry. He didn’t cry when his father died – at least he didn’t when we were around – but he couldn’t hold it back when we lost Duch. Seeing his red-rimmed eyes was really tough. I can remember how it affected my Mom, seeing Dad cry. We’ve lost other pets since then, but I always remember that line about “grief being the price we pay ” for being able to have the love and joy of pets in our lives. It really helps me to remember that. Doesn’t make it any easier, really, but it does help… ?
Claudia says
Their time here on earth is simply too short, Janet.
gayle says
Sad Days when our pet babies get old or sick. we had 4 dogs during the raising of our kids, The dogs were13, one 16, one 14 and one 15….nice old dogs. precious pets. I love
your planter. I use a similar one for my antique/vintage postcards. I love collecting cards that are relevant to the places I have lived or visited. Ipad is mis behaving.
Claudia says
We have some vintage postcards, too. I really love them.
Jane Price says
Thank you for this, Claudia. I’m crying, too. I include Scout in my daily prayers. Like Riley, I love her, too.
Claudia says
Thank you so much, Jane. I love that you include Scout in your prayers. That makes me cry.
Susan says
I’m crying too. Such a precious girl.
Big Texas Hugs,
Susan and Bentley
Claudia says
Thank you, Susan.
Just Cats says
You know you and Don are in my heart as you care for sweet Scout in her old age. Take it a day at a time. Love, love, love her and always remember she is one of the luckiest dogs to have such love on this earth. Sending a hug, Deb
Claudia says
Thank you so much, Deb.