On our trail walk yesterday, almost hidden under a canopy of trees on the side of the path:
These beautiful creatures.
The iPhone didn’t particularly like me shooting into a darkish area, so this is the best I could do. There was the smell of horses and hay and manure, instantly taking me back to my childhood – to the days when my grandparents lived on four acres and had horses. Pa (with a short a, as in pat – that’s what we called my grandfather) usually had two horses living in the barn and occasionally boarded other horses. I was pretty young in those days. I rode the horses, but always with an adult at my side.
My sisters never knew that property, for by the time they came along, my grandparents had moved to a more populated town. The upkeep of the property in the country had become too much for Pa. He sold the property and the horses.
Now that I write about it, I realize how hard that must have been for Pa, a Canadian guy with the nickname ‘Slim’ who drove racing sulkies when he was a young man, and was truly a cowboy at heart. He wore Stetsons. He loved bolo ties. He subscribed to American Horseman magazine. He loved everything about his horses and all horses. He went to horse sales every Friday night. He had a collection of horse bits from all over the world.
How heartbreaking it must have been to reach an age where his leg was acting up, emphysema was starting to take its toll, where the upkeep of four acres was too much, where he had to sell the property and the horses.
What was there for a guy like that to do, after all those chores were no longer necessary?
Life can be very tough, especially when getting older means having to leave behind a long-held passion. Or, in my parents’ case, leaving their beloved northern Michigan behind to move to Florida in order to have one of the children nearby. Or facing the reality that you can no longer handle driving a car with any degree of confidence anymore.
As we are in our early sixties now, I feel more and more compassion and empathy for those decisions that had to be made in the face of a shifting reality. We are feeling the stress of the shifting financial realities that seem to be a constant in the life of two freelancers. Unless I win the lottery, or some stranger leaves me a large sum of money, we’ll eventually have to sell our beloved Mockingbird Hill Cottage. The mortgage is too high, the upkeep will get increasingly tougher for us to handle, we’ll never have any cushion if we’re forced to keep up those mortgage payments – and what way is that to live as we get older?
I’ve been thinking about that a lot for the past few days.
Then I turn it over to God/a Higher Being/Divine Intelligence, because I have no idea at times how we’ll get through any given month, but somehow we do. And I have to trust that the answers will be provided; a gentle nudge here, an opportunity there, a door opening (hopefully) that was previously closed.
But, boy oh boy, can I be swallowed up in fear just like that. In a flash. In a millisecond.
Deep breath. Affirm truth. Trust. Move forward.
My watchwords for the day.
I hope your day is peaceful and happy. That’s what I’m aiming for.
New post up on Just Let Me Finish This Page.
Happy Tuesday.
i wish you peace and prosperity. those things come in many forms so hope the latter includes enough money to pay all the bills, have that retirement fund as well as some fun.
kathy
Amen to that, Kathy! Thank you.
As I’m facing aging parent issues, I can well relate to your entire post! I hope that whatever happens, Claudia, that you’ll spend all your future years with Don.
Me too. I can move anywhere as long as he is with me.
I think when we were in our 30’s, retirement seemed like a dream. And we do dream about the freedom from a job, where we can do whatever we want to do, whenever we want to do it, and travel at the drop of a hat. Then reality sets in. Even if we are lucky enough to live long enough to retire, some health issues and conditions do slow us down. We do have a few more limits because of those things along with income. When we are lucky enough to have a retirement plan that was growing as we worked, some of the income issues are less, but then with just the everyday upkeep for a house that comes along, not to mention things that break down and need repair or replacement, well, it seems we always are waiting for that other shoe to drop. With the yard work and then snow removal issues, we see so many of our friends selling their homes to go into condos and townhouses where much of that is taken care of for them.
I guess we just have to take one day at a time. We really never know what is around that next corner, do we?
We really don’t. And the secure retirements our parents often had are not the reality today. Counted-on pensions taken away, the high cost of living, you name it. Even with Don’s pensions and social security, we are still really struggling. I’m trying to hold off on my Social Security as long as I can!
I took mine at 62. I could have waited, but with the crazy bunch in charge in DC, I figured I wanted to get what I could. You know, they talk about SS like they are doing us a favor. It is money WE put away along w/ our employers…. it isn’t a “gift”. I thought I would rather put it away where I could get it if I needed it, and not be at their mercy as to whether or not we deserved our money which we put away since we had jobs at 16. Some people laugh that SS won’t be touched, but you see, I live in Wisconsin, where I have seen first hand what can happen when someone has an idea of what is better for everyone, and “fixes” something that wasn’t broken to begin with….. ugh.
What gets me that this money – which is our money – is taxed. Ummm….why is my money that was set aside for me taxed?
I understand totally about living in Wisconsin with a governor who takes away things from his constituents. And I agree. I don’t really trust those in power. It’s all making me think twice about waiting a couple of years.
Well, dear friend, here is how I thought about it. Yes, we were living without it, and could have continued to do so. BUT, I decided I could keep a bit out each month for “fun stuff”, and put most into savings, I can watch it myself. If we need something, we don’t have to go into debt and use a credit card in most cases because the money is there. It seems like I have less stress because I know there is that $$ I can see and I can get at IF necessary, and I really do “respect” that money, and we haven’t used it for just “stuff”. And the other part is just knowing how short life can be….. I just couldn’t figure out what I was waiting for. And, sure, there would be more $$ if I waited, but at what cost WHILE I was waiting and worrying…. it is nice to be able to use the $$ if necessary while I am still around. Also, knowing it is here for me might let me live a bit longer with less worry!! :-) It all is such an individual decision, and it is nice to be able to make the decision that works best for each of us.
You’ve given me a lot to think about. In our case, we really do need it and it certainly would ease our daily/monthly stress. And who knows how much time we have? Hopefully, a lot, but I’m so tired of worrying about money. It wouldn’t necessarily stop all worry, but it would surely help to do that. Thank you, my wise friend.
I just wanted to tag on here, that…Chris…you gave me something to think about today! Maybe I won’t hold off on taking Social Security benefits after all. We’re holding off on my husband’s but it doesn’t mean we have to on MINE. You’ve put me deep in thought on the matter!
Regarding taking SS benefits. I planned to delay mine “as long as I can” also. However, the SS folks called me to clarify my request. I explained that I was going to wait so that I could accumulate higher benefits in future. Based on my planned delay or take benefits now, they calculated it would take me 8 years to make a difference. I decided for the small amount difference, I would use that 8 years of money now. A former co-worker retired at age 62, and took her SS then. Her financial advisor also calculated the difference of taking it now versus later. May want to check this out to find what would be more advantageous for you. Before I decided, I was physically making myself ill with worry. The advisor at our bank helped me clarify our needs. My husband is younger, self-employed (!!!!), so has to pay for health insurance until he gets to Medicare age. this is very Expensive.
This is very interesting, Jan, and I thank you for this information. I may call them about it on my next birthday in November – I’ll be 63, thus it will have been a year since I first qualified for social security. We have to pay for health insurance now and it really hurts us every month – even with ACA, it’s very expensive. Don, thankfully, will qualify for Medicare next year. That will ease some of the ‘health insurance’ cost.
As a reader, I appreciate all the advice here.
First off….as usual, Chris K says it all so eloquently! We’ll stay in our home as long as we are able too…we just don’t know what’s on the horizon for each of us. We thought we were prepared for retirement….but I’m not sure you can prepare for everything. I wish you two blessings today! ;)
I’m not sure you can either. Especially in the troubled financial times we live in.
Donnamae, isn’t it the truth? We, too, will stay in our house as long as possible. We are so lucky to have everything on one floor. We do have a basement, but everything necessary for day-to-day is on our main floor. We just never know when something will occur to make us dip into savings, and then it seems it is like dominoes, once one thing tips, the rest start to fall, too. It is kind of scary, isn’t it?? I’m sure you are praying for a mild winter as are we. Always in hopes of low utility bills as well as less snow to move. :-)
Please give us a mild winter….please! I could sure use a break on the cost of heating oil.
I’d be happy if you’d send some of that winter my way in drought-stricken Southern California! (I hope those aren’t ‘famous last words’ but we could use even a fraction of your rain!!)
It’s raining a lot at the moment, and I sure wish I could send some your way!
thanks for trusting us enough to share this beautifully written post. We do begin to understand others more as we age and face our own issues. In our sixties also, we have become increasingly aware of the stresses of insurance coverage changes, living expenses, eliminating clutter/sentimental items, consideration of downsizing, income vs. outgo, and in our case, also raising our grandson who is now 7. Reality is scary. Love is powerful to help us walk this life journey we are on. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers that your way will become clear as you travel your own ever-changing path!
You’re very welcome. And thank you for being the kind of readers that I CAN trust. Bless you.
With Don’s social security starting last year, our income grew a bit and with ACA, if that income level changes, you have to pay back the stipend from the government. We have to do that this year. That was unexpected. Bless you for raising your grandson, Jan. Love is the only answer.
I agree with the comments said, it does seem we can never save enough for retirement. Some of the money advisors make it seem impossible for us to live. I will never have the money they said we need! Oh well, somehow we will do it. Doris
We will do it somehow, Doris. XO
Dear Claudia,
Almost every day when I read your posts, it seems as if you are speaking about me. We are so much alike in so many ways, I wish we were neighbors — we’d have a blast! We bought our home five years ago, and I worry about retiring (you and I share the same birth date and year) and having a mortgage.
Was it Blanche who said she always depended upon the kindness of strangers? I think about someone leaving us money to pay off the house too!
BTW, the day you posted about your unstaged home recently, I took pictures of mine to send to you and then chickened out!!!
It will all be OK….maybe you WILL be able to stay at Mockingbird Hill Cottage.
XXOO Patricia
I wish we were neighbors, too, Patricia. At the very least, our birthday celebrations would be spectacular!
Don’t chicken out! Go ahead and send those pix, my friend.
It will all be okay for you, too, Patricia.
I think we all have those 3 a.m. lie awake and be consumed by worry nights. As one of my colleagues at work says, ‘there’s always more month than money’. Strive toward peaceful and happy today.
I’m doing my best Barbara!
Claudia, thank you for posting this. When I think of trying to save for retirement, needing long term health care insurance, etc, I just get so overwhelmed. It all just seems so impossible. Money just does not stretch that far this day and time. I hope for a windfall for you as well as me. Best wishes to you, Don and Scout.
Thank you, Charlene. I hope for a windfall for each and every one of us!
OH, I get this post, Claudia. I empathize much more with my mother, who is 80, now. At 61, I am beginning to have the same sorts of thoughts as you…and trying to figure out the future. I’m trying not to think like an older person, and live for today, but sometimes you just have to make some real life decisions. I must say, I do have some stress over it, and moving might be in our future, too. I guess sooner or later, we all figure it out…hopefully not dragging our feet lol.
Hopefully not! In one breath I’m telling Don not to say ‘old folks’ when describing us and in the other I’m talking about retirement and how to get through it gracefully!
My dear brother was one of those cowboy types too Claudia…from the time he was a very young teenager and had friends with horses…He was still that way till the day he died..Lucky me to have a big brother who like to drag his little sister places with him so I got to ride a pony they had which was a total thrill for a poor little girl like me…Luckily I paid cash for my house and property with a settlement I got from being hurt when I worked for the state of Pennsylvania…still..paying the property taxes is painful… plus utilities and food keeps getting more expensive…Barb W. is right “there’s always more month than money”….
I’m so sorry you got hurt, but that cash must have been a godsend for you when it came time to buy your house, Nancy. But you’re with – property taxes just keep getting more expensive, etc. etc.
Thanks for this post today Claudia. I’ve been awake since 5 a.m. this morning with many, many worries. And your post reminded me that sometimes we need to send the worries back to the universe and let them fall where they need to. And to be open to change or answers. My task for today.
I am the queen of worriers and always have been. It’s a great challenge and a great life lesson when I am able to send those worries back and let go, trusting that resolution of some kind will come. xoxo Chy
Hi Claudia,
This post has been a timely one for me to read and enjoy. As I live in Canada, things are a “little ” different but we Canadians grow older too, and so I can relate to the worry about not being able to keep up, which would include, Taxes and insurance , house and garden maintenance , health and mobility, the car and its maintenance, the rising cost of gas and utilities, and even being able to navigate a set of stairs when your hips are bad! Getting old can be a real challenge these days; there are just too many things for us to fear!
But I agree what you’ve said about turning each day over to GOD, who is the only real way to conquer our worries and our concerns.
As Jesus said:
” Peace I leave with you, My Peace I give you.
I do not give to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled and Do Not be be Afraid”
John 14:27
I have to keep reminding myself of whose IS in charge around here, because I don’t think it ‘s me.
A beautiful verse, Elizabeth – thank you for including it in your comment.
Don is forever saying “I’m not in charge.” That reminds me to LET GO and turn it all over to God. xo
All the best for your Dad,Claudia.It seems more and more of an achievement when people make it that far without falling apart for one reason or another. While all our circumstances come with there unique variations it is with gratitude that i took in your advice for the day.
Breathing,trusting,appreciating the positive,letting go and focusing on the present step that needs to be taken is surely where i am putting my energies. One of those positives is dropping by your blog as my schedule allows for. I love that you are still here.Thank-you so very much.
You’re welcome, Grace. Focusing on the present is really all we can do. It’s tremendously hard to stay in that place, but we do our best!
I am a card carrying worrier Claudia. And it hasn’t helped me one little bit! I was/am in great health…until this summer. Out of the blue I received a pacemaker in July and now I got the news last week that I have three pinched nerves in my back. It hasn’t been a great summer. And all of my worrying gets me nowhere. I am trying to stop worrying and start enjoying life more, because this summer and my heart stopping out of the blue several times has taught me that we really don’t know if we’ll have a tomorrow here on earth. That doesn’t mean I’m throwing caution to the wind and spending every penny we have, but I am trying to enjoy myself more.
Blessings,
Betsy
You’ve surely been through a lot, Betsy. You have the wisdom, especially considering what you’ve gone through, to know that worry never gets us anywhere. I’m still wrestling with worry. It’s a slippery slope, isn’t it? Here’s to perfect health for you and freedom from the talons of worry, my friend.
Claudia, how timely this post is. I too lie awake at night worrying about the future and I too am a “freelancer” (self-employed) … business is not good out there. As I get older, I become quite downhearted thinking about the old days, when money flowed like water and the sky was the limit on my future. Everything is different now. I tell myself to just try harder, hone my skills, get more clients, get more work, do more, but many months go by where I do not make my minimum goals. I have a few years to go before retirement, and we still have some options left to us, but it is hard. I thank you for giving voice to these worries in your blog. It couldn’t be easy to let your readers in on such worries, but believe me, as you have found, you are not alone. I wish the best for all of us, and who knows but what the winds of change may bring in the coming years. Best of luck to you and all of your readers who have replied and shared similar problems. As they say, getting old ain’t for sissies. A little chocolate helps too!
It isn’t easy, I debated whether to write about this and just how to write about it. But I’ve found that those posts are often the ones that resonate with my readers. We all find that we’re wrestling with the same demons, worrying about the same things, and it helps so much to know we’re not alone.
I almost put that line in the post: Old age ain’t for sissies. I’m glad you left it in your comment!
I should have read all of the other comments before I posted mine, which got awfully long (I’m sorry) but, man, this post of yours resonated, Claudia and I’m surprised that most of the readers here almost all have similar money worries and concerns for the future (I guess everyone here is in a similar age group). I tend to think my situation is more unique than it is…and it sure puts things into perspective when you see what other people are going through. I’m oddly comforted…that’s really not the right word…by knowing I’m not alone in my hand-wringing. Being obsessed with the future, healthwise and moneywise, can make one feel like some kind of failure…but even my wise father would point out to me years ago that, in his day, rents and mortgages were more proportionate to a person’s income, as well as the price of a car, food, etc. There used to also be bigger returns even on modest savings accounts until interest rates for same plummeted. Anyway, I’m glad everybody here could sort of shore each other up today; I’m so appreciative of your thoughtful post, Claudia, and all of the other thoughtful comments by everybody else. It has helped me today. It’s like a group hug. And it’s made me go outside of myself and think of what others are going thru, too.
If it helps you, Claudia, just let it all out here. You can dump on us…because we relate! Dump isn’t the right word either. It’s more of a thoughtful sharing and a reaching out, from your end and on our end. I think we can all help each other somehow, so don’t hold back when you need to get something off your chest; don’t hold it in. Your readers are here for you with a listening ear. It’s the least we can do for all you give us on your blog every single day.
Thank you, Vicki. I’m careful about how much I share, but sometimes sharing can be a good thing for all involved.
Your post really hit home with me, speaking of ‘home’ and all that means. I have increasingly become aware, for some time, how aging is something different to me now than how I imagined it might be when I was younger and naive about the concept. This whole thing about ‘aging gracefully,’ and maybe the image of a kindly grandmother with her grandkids sitting around her while she tells a story from her life just does not happen for everybody and it surely has not happened for me, as I started having more and more things taken away as I encountered early health problems in my 40s and I also wasn’t able to have children. My husband and I actually have pretty much zero ‘family’ to count on in the times ahead, so we’re facing the ending years with no advocates by our side. We’re on our own, for as much as we can be; for however long.
I’ve talked about it before sometime back here with you…I’m in your age group…but nearly two years ago, we gave up our beloved cottage which we painstakingly (and expensively) renovated for almost ten years because we, too, realized that the upkeep of the one-acre hillside and home was going to be nothing but a financial drain once my husband no longer worked and, again as you, the mortgage payment was too high for retirement income (we didn’t get a loan til we were in our 50s; it all came a little too late for us; our timing has always seemed to be a little off on a lot of things!). Unlike you, I was never able to really fully enjoy the lovely little cottage as a home because it was always a sawhorse-and-tools-out mess and my ‘things’ have stayed packed up for too many years. Then, my mom passed…she was broke and her house owned by the bank (reverse mortgaged…she needed the money for her health care)…and I inherited my old family home with a huge lien against it. We sought professional financial advice on the best thing to do, so made the wrenching decision to sell our cottage and buy her plain, 50s-era house just before foreclosure proceedings, as I could refi that reverse loan and ‘half’ my monthly mortgage payment from the cottage.
While I feel grateful I have a roof over my head, I’m in another old house which still needs a lot of work but it’s definitely a more manageable property. However, carrying a mortgage payment into retirement is not the way to go. Still, it’s less than conventional rent where I live in Southern California. My husband is quite sure we can get along all right…frugally…in ‘retirement;’ I’m not so sure. I saw my mom run thru all my parents’ life savings in less than five years…an amount I don’t even have a fraction of in my own meager bank account…just on her health needs after age 80 (fairly, she DID choose to live in the most expensive way for an elderly person, which is to be cared for with paid caregivers in the home 24/7).
This subject of our future tends to permeate our life far too much and I wish we could get it settled. Frankly, I never feel settled, and it’s bad for the health to live in such a way. In our current drought and heat, I’ve longed to move, yet I know we have some good things in place here and, the past couple of days, we have a faint ray of hope for cooler nights and early mornings…plus the weather folks say we’re sure to get rain come November or so. You can’t beat good weather at any time but especially in the older years. My husband still spends too much time on yardwork, though…and, unlike my parents for this same home, we’re not going to be able to afford a weekly gardener in retirement…and it’s another hillside that has to be kept regularly cleared by a professional crew, which is not cost-friendly. In a neighborhood that’s getting shabby around the edges. In a town that is not thriving. My husband doesn’t like to plan too much, but even he was saying last night that maybe we should move north, upwards into the Pacific Northwest, sell our house and bank some money (to have some kind of interest income, to supplement Social Security and our modest ‘pensions’ [mine might buy one sack of groceries per month!]); get a small place to rent and leave the maintenance to somebody else. It’s just that I’ve known elderly people in that situation…his own parents, who sold their home in the Midwest and didn’t reinvest in a home when they moved elsewhere to be near their daughter…and moving/being displaced, if your rent situation changes, gets harder and harder when you’re older and, of course, is also another expense.
I hear you, Claudia. I wish I felt more security at this age.
We didn’t get a loan until we were in our fifties, as well. We were renting. And, since we married in our forties, we were both renting individually before that. Now, carrying a hefty mortgage as we head into retirement seems insane. Sometimes I think to myself, if Don could land a couple of great movie roles, we’d pay off the house and sell it. And that could happen. That’s the good and bad thing about the acting profession. There’s always the possibility of something big happening, but it often doesn’t happen.
With my folks, their house was paid for when they were age 60. Dad continued to bring in income til he was 80; he had a home-based business which was very flexible. They had interest income from investments. What they didn’t have was their health; nobody gets everything. And, yet, I have quite a few people I know who are my age, empty-nesters, paid-for home, 401Ks, IRAs, healthy pension; retired early or soon to retire, with their good health and a lot of vacation plans with no added stress of the money thing. Most were people who married younger and got a firmer foothold earlier on. (They also seem to me to have had fewer life ‘catastrophes.’ Nothing much to shake up the routine.) They stayed in the same house and were lucky to stay in the same jobs. I have to say, I envy their lives while trying to remain grateful for the blessings I do, in fact, have…but we are unsettled, and I really do not know what the future holds. (And when exactly, if we’re going to do it, is the best time to sell and get out? Californians got burned badly in the economic downturn; our cottage was ‘under water’ for a long time. Prices are going up-up-up right now but it could as easily downturn again and, we of course, have no equity in the home, so you can’t count on the house blindly.) My husband wanted to retire at age 62 and there’s no way. He has to work til he’s at least in the latter-60s just to make sure I have medical insurance (til Medicare age) as I don’t have my own and, as you might recall, I’m a cancer survivor. I feel badly about that, of course, for him.
I dunno. I ran into my high school friend who was also my contractor in the early days of our cottage renovation (my husband did the rest of the work after that). We were speaking of former classmates and he ticked off one guy after another who he still keeps in contact with, who retired in the age of 50s and at 60 or so. He’s age 63 and it’s on his mind, so was asking about my husband and shook his head in understanding, saying “I think I have to work til I’m 70; I don’t see any other way; I can’t be one of those lucky guys I went to school with.” (He got burned very badly in the housing downturn; there just wasn’t any work when people stopped spending money and their houses weren’t worth as much; nobody was doing remodels or home construction.) On the other hand, my dentist says he plans to not stop working at all. He’s 67 and says he’ll work til he starts making bad diagnoses or can’t stand on his hips/feet. He watched his dad live to almost age 100 and he said the key is to keep busy and be productive; he said he likes to work; every day, he likes to ‘get things done.’ And this is a guy with no money worries; just got a mega inheritance when the last ‘Greatest Generation’ parent died, and his wife’s been making a six-figure salary for over 20 years.
I look at choices wrong and right I’ve made; how things might have gone differently in the course of my life. I worked for years and years outside the home; it sure seemed like the money stretched further back then. I also know that life can change on a dime when it comes to aging and health, so you have to really make these years of the 60s count, and I’m focusing on that because I want to get in a little fun yet. I love doing things with my husband more than anybody else in the world, especially travel. But I read these articles on the web about being a certain age and having a certain amount of money in the bank (what you should have in your ‘portfolio’ – your financial portfolio; laugh-out-loud when you’re often/mostly living paycheck to paycheck) and it fills me with a lot of dread and worry, that we are so unprepared for times ahead, and what’s the best thing to do; what’s the best direction for it? (Certainly is curbing any excess spending…although I did buy that dollhouse mini…but I’ve even put the skids on checking out stuff at Goodwill.)
Again, I hear you. I often thought with my mom, when I became so acutely aware of the perils and changes which come with aging, how a ‘senior’ or elderly person has enough to contend with as they get closer to death and suffer the decline of body/mind, and what they need more than anything is love and warmth, safe shelter and gentle care; the last thing they need is being scared for dwindling resources/money, perhaps even going without medication that’s needed, worrying about who will take care of them as they lose independence, when and if they have to go into institutionalized care. At a time when they need an environment of security and assuredness is often when they feel the most vulnerable and it’s just awful to have to leave this earth in worrisome circumstances.
I just personally found that as you age, with health issues, you need a lot of money. And, my husband and I? We don’t have it. So how can you NOT worry? There WAS, though, a recent web article telling people to not let retirement woes crush your spirits. Yes, you have to dial down some expectations and you have to live very carefully, make some tough choices and maybe change some plans you’ve had but there are other aspects of retirement which can be very fulfilling, if you can just stay healthy. And with the flood of baby boomers retiring, more and more senior services will likely blossom. Just gotta watch the spending in today, have faith, keep healthy; somehow we’ll figure it out, Claudia!
From one fellow paycheck-to-paychecker to another. I hear you, too, Vicki.
Claudia, this topic hit home for so many of us. When I lost my job at 59 I panicked! It was at the height of unemployment and I could not find another job. I took unemployment for the first (and last) time in my life and it helped me make it until I was 62. I decided to take it early and use my 401K as a supplement as long as I could . I was almost 5 years without health ins and very lucky to make it to 65 with no major health issues. Now I have medicare and feel somewhat better, however it can be all taken from us and then what?? I am that sandwich generation also where I take care of my Mom and also help my children and grands. I am lucky that before I lost my job I worked hard on getting debt free. It has helped me to have just daily living expenses to pay for which is more then enough right there. I live frugally and within my means, but there are times I have to dig into my leftover savings. I’m lucky my Mom is well taken care of and she can even help me on occasion if needed, as my Dad invested wisely. I am a renter now and it suits me as living alone I know I can’t take care of repairs and yard work. Who knows what the future holds but I will continue to live it the best I can and trust that God is there for me. I debated about taking SS at 62 but financially it was the right thing to do for me.
hugs,
Linda
Claudia, you’ve struck such a nerve with this post that I’m replying for the 2nd time! I’ve read every comment and wish I could reach out and help each and every one who has told a story here. I’ve thought of how to live as an older lady, I have no children and am not married although do have a long-term relationship and we each own a house (both houses have mortgages). But he is older and I am likely to outlive him. With no children to advocate for me, the “golden girl” model of aging appeals to me. Gathering one or two or three other women under one roof, pooling resources and skills, and looking out for each other. The best part is not being alone, but having a sense of family and a decent home life, and sharing expenses. For now, I look out for my mother, try to maintain my home, pay a load of insurance every month, wear cheaper clothes, and work at home (save on renting an office). My car is 12 years old and making funny noises, my yard needs endless attention, and I shop at the dollar store and walmart for a most of my needs. This is life now. Those of us in our 50s got kneecapped in the big downturn and it’s pretty hard to recover from that. I truly wish the best for you and everyone here who’s shared their experience.
We definitely got kneecapped! We have no children either, so I’m counting on my sister if and when that day comes! (She may not be aware of that, however…)
It may be the right thing for me, too. I’m still contemplating that decision. Unfortunately, there are no longer extended unemployment benefits, which we, at times, relied on when acting jobs in the entertainment industry were few and far between. So we no longer have that as backup and we’re definitely struggling because of it.
Sure looks like a lot of us are in the same boat! And I worry that it will be so much worse for our kids and grandkids on down the road when they reach our age. Guess we’ll just have to trust God. I am continually having to remind myself of this. Thanks for this post, Claudia. At least we know we are not alone.
There’s a great comfort in that, Dottie.
Seems we all have a lot to say on this topic! We’re in our 50’s…my husband still has 10 years to go until retirement. He has a pension and also a 457 plan, so we should be “OK”. I hope. We bought our house 25 years ago and it’ll be paid off in a few years. (We refinanced twice.) However, we don’t know what the future will hold…we know anything can happen.
My mom is 75 years old and has been a widow for 16 years. She does OK on her own and her townhome is paid off, but she still has to pay property taxes (which are brutal in our area), insurance, and association fees. And then with just the general cost of living, she still has to work. So she works PT at a company she’s been with for many years (she fills in as needed – almost like a temp) and she also is a Power Seller on eBay. She is very resourceful and is always looking for a way to make money. She even paints furniture and sells that, too. I give her a lot of credit.
I do, too. She sounds like she’s doing a lot to help her through this time. I love that she’s a Power Seller, Melanie! What does she sell?
Mostly authentic designer purses…Coach, Dooney & Bourke, Michael Kors, etc. She also sometimes sells other things such as 100% wool blankets and chenille bedspreads.
What a great discussion that seems to be on everyone’s mind! Certainly at our house. We are almost 69, still paying on mortgage and paying way too much out monthly on Medicare supplement ins. Policies! Our home is not selling after 18 months! My husband is exhausted from yard work and mowing. I will miss my beloved flowers but we are hoping to sell and move closer to our children and into an apartment or buy small condo! Yuk we start and end in a small apartment. Such is life and I try to be thankful. Claudia, perhaps this Aging and Almost Broke could be a regular feature on your blog. You are in my prayers and on my List if I come into a large sum of money!
And you’re on mine, Dottie!
Things have a way of working themselves out! Remember that you need to live life as well as just exist! xx
Indeed, Amy!
Claudia, I just caught up with this post, and read every word of every comment. Thanks to everyone for sharing their stories. It looks like you have created a support group. What lovely and thoughtful readers you have gathered together, in response to your lovely and thoughtful writing.
I am blessed by my readers, including you, Nancy.
Why, thank you, Claudia.
❤
xo
I am very fortunate at 72 to have no financial problems, we saved, invested and my husband stills works…because he loves it. But there are many other worries, parents, kids, grandkids, health … 2 SS stories, brother in law took his as soon as he could, he died of cancer at age 71 so it was a good thing. 2 nd bro in law waited till he turned 70 this year but has had 3 bouts of cancer so …? It is such an indivual choice. Don deserves a big role, looking forward to the new music!
It is a very individual choice…still contemplating.