I was on Threads the other day (the new competitor to the dreadful Twitter/X) and ran across a post by someone who had just lost his sister. He spoke about hearing her voice the next day, about a ‘visitation.’ It was very moving and as I scrolled through the comments, I read more and more stories from people about hearing/seeing someone from the other side. Sometimes, a voice. Sometimes, a ‘sense.’
I find these stories enormously comforting.
I’ve had a few myself.
When my grandfather died, I was twenty. A few months after he died, I was scheduled to sing a solo at a Sunday morning church service. As I sat in the pew, I thought of my grandfather and the enormity of my grief hit me. Gentle tears ran down my face (no one in the congregation would have noticed them.) Suddenly, I felt a hand touch the top of my head, and it stayed there for about a minute. I knew it was him. I was deeply comforted by his presence. And then I smiled and could not stop smiling. I’ll never forget that.
My brother died in 1991. I was teaching at Boston University and living in Cambridge. Some time after I returned to Boston from the funeral in Michigan, I was reclining on my sofa. I felt a wave of grief wash over me and I started crying. Suddenly, a beam of light hit a photo of my brother and I that was on a table on the other side of the room. It was like a golden spotlight that only hit the photo and nothing that was around it. I knew it was him.
I also had – years later – a vivid dream in which my brother and I were dancing a waltz. It was so joyous, so wonderful, and so powerful that I knew he had visited me. I can still remember that feeling today. And I rarely remember my dreams. I think my sister had a similar dream.
And you know that my mother visited me when she was in the nursing home. I shared that with you. On evenings when Don was playing a gig, I would suddenly smell Oil of Olay, the cream that my mother used every night. To her children, this was her scent. The first time it happened, I checked to see if the smell was coming from the bathroom soap, but no, it wasn’t. The smell would linger for about a minute or two. I would say hello to Mom and tell her how much I loved her. And then, it would disappear. These visits occurred many times over a couple of years – years when my mom was half in and half out of this world. I finally confided to Mere (and Don, of course) that these visits were occurring, Mere immediately knew and said that Mom was visiting me.
I received the news that my mom had died when my dad called me in the middle of the night. Later that day, I was sitting in the kitchen. Don was in the living room. Suddenly, he said, “What’s that scent??? It smells like flowers…” I couldn’t smell it, so I got up and went to the living room, and sure enough, it was Oil of Olay. He knew. I knew. Mom was visiting us and telling us she was okay. We told her how much we loved her, how much she meant to us. I cried. Don cried. It was extremely powerful and very, very comforting.
There’s also an incident with my estranged sister’s son. When he was very little, not all that long after our brother died, her son was ill and in the middle of the night, he took a turn for the worse. My sister heard him talking in his bedroom, saying “But I want to come, I want to come!” She and her husband jumped out of bed, grabbed him, and rushed him to the hospital. He recovered. Several months later, my sister casually asked him, “Do you remember when you were so sick and we had to take you to the hospital? Who were you talking to that night?” He answered quite matter of factly, “Uncle Dave. I wanted to go with him, but he wouldn’t let me. He said it wasn’t time.” And he also divulged that he had had several “conversations” with him. To him, it was no big deal.
Ever since reading that post, I’ve been thinking about these things. I’ve never heard anything from my dad, or my grandmother. But I do have these visits to hold close.
Has this happened to you? If you feel comfortable sharing, I’d love to hear your stories.
Stay safe.
Happy Friday.
I wish it would happen with my mom or dad but it never has. Even my dreams of them are rare. But I do feel like I get visits from the Phantom Gypsy. I’ll hear a meow very close — and it’s not Lizzie (she’s camped out by the radiator under the bed in the guest room in another part of the house.) Lately I’ve heard this a few times. I know it’s not a “house sound.” It’s definitely a meow. So, who’s to say. But I believe in these encounters with all my heart and always hope for more.
I believe it’s Phantom Gypsy, Jeanie.
A lovely encounter.
Stay safe.
My parents had a pool at their house and my father did all the maintenance himself. After he passed away I did what I could, checking the chemicals, etc. Shortly after he passed I really messed it up and put too much chlorine in…it all has to be in a balance. I kept trying and then ignored it for awhile. Then I had a very clear, short dream…it was my father, and all he said was add chlorine to the pool. In my dream I made an exasperated sound, saying that it had too much. But, I did go check, and sure enough…it needed chlorine. A very odd way to have a visit, but it was so like my father to do that. I completely feel that visits are made after our loved ones pass, probably a comfort to us, as well as them. Claudia, thank you for sharing your personal stories.
And today would have been my dad’s 94th birthday…
Happy Birthday to your dad, Barrie.
happy birthday to your father!
glad you had that visit. :) hope you get more of them.
and have a wonderful, safe weekend.
kathy
What a lovely experience that must have been, Barrie.
Thank you.
Stay safe.
love those visits. glad you’ve had them. thank you for sharing them here.
my mother also used “oil of olay”. love that scent and picturing her using it on her own skin and letting me use it, too.
think i mentioned not long ago that my sister and i had a visit: early one morning in an open outdoor area in minneapolis, smelling a cherry tobacco smell when there was no one and nothing nearby, no bakery or restaurant, just a huge parking lot and we both stopped walking, looked at each other and at the same time said we smelled our paternal grandfather’s pipe tobacco. love that it happened for us and that we were together when it did.
have had visits with my mother. glad and grateful. :)
will share a sweet one from my little girl cat, who passed on long ago. she and her brother worked out where they’d sleep. he chose to start the night on the rocking chair in the living room (so much that my family – and i – refer to it as “winston’s rocker”) and by morning i’d find him on the bed. she always would sleep with me and if i got to bed before she did, she’d gently tap my nose two or three times with her paw, whatever it took to wake me up so i would lift the covers and she would crawl in and sleep by my stomach. winter or summer, the temperature didn’t matter to her. same after she’d gotten up for a midnight snack or to use the litter box. tap, tap, tap. since she passed on, sometimes i’ve been asleep in bed, not dreaming about her or her brother, and i’ve woken up for feeling those same soft little taps on my nose. out of habit, i’ve raised up the sheet/blanket to let her under the covers and i talk with them both. :)
thanks for bringing up this topic and sweet memories of people and animals i love and miss and look forward to the best reunions ahead.
happy, safe friday to everyone.
xo,
kathy
Such powerful visits, Kathy.
Even more so when your sister smells the pipe tobacco, too!
Thank you.
Stay safe.
Interesting topic Claudia. Here’s my story.
I had come home from working 2nd shift and was getting ready for bed, brushing my teeth when I suddenly felt a chill and had a strange sense that someone was standing right behind me. I turned around and there was no one there. It was at about the same time that my father passed in his sleep. Had he come to say goodbye? I like to think so.
Another experience, not quite the same thing…
At college, my roommate and I were sleeping and I had a very vivid dream that my father had died. It was disturbing and I woke up and had the urge to call home. But it was the middle of the night and it was just a dream so I didn’t. I went back to sleep and early in the morning the house mother was banging on our door. My roommate’s sister had come to get her because HER father had suddenly passed during the night. I have no explanation for my dream. I had never met her family. Maybe it was just a coincidence.
Take care
VERY powerful visits/dreams, Marilyn!
Thank you.
Stay safe.
The morning after I had an operation, I was walking down the hall in the hospital and when I went to turn I lost my balance a little and felt a wall-like beside me and I heard “looks like you’ve got a hitch in your git along” which sounded like Dad. He had died years earlier but I knew it was him. Years later he came and asked me if what my mother had accused me of in my teens was true. I told him how things really were in those instances and he went away satisfied. I also had a visit from my biological father, he came out of our kitchen and came over to me where I was sitting on the living room sofa. I felt him but my daughters eyes followed him and she gave him a great big smile right at him. I could feel him smiling back. I cannot ask my daughter about this as she is severely retarded and nonverbal.( biological-my mother’s first husband, Dad-my mother’s second husband)
The smile from your daughter says it all, Jan.
Thank you for sharing.
Stay safe.
Thank you for sharing those stories, Claudia. I loved reading them and believe whole-heartedly in visits from our loved ones who have passed!
Me too, Jenny.
Thank you.
Stay safe.
I was thinking about this the other day as I shared this with a friend. As you know my Mom died Nov 18th. It wasn’t long after that I was sitting in my living room and a bee came to my window and stayed there for a bit. I thought it unusual since it was Nov and there aren’t any flowers near my window. It happened again a few days later. Then I got in my car to run and errand there was a bee in my car which I let out through the window. So by now it’s making me think is this Mom?? Sometime in Dec I’m in that half awake half asleep state and I open my eyes and see a vision of my Mom, Dad and Brother. I think ok they are all together now. I close my eyes and there is like a drawing of a huge bee that just takes over my mind. I sat up and I said OK MOM I know it’s you. I kept saying why a bee??? Then it dawned on me that all the Grandkids called her Granny Bee. Yes chills. I was super slow on that one. I have not had any bees coming to me since I realized it was Mom saying she was on the other side with my Dad and Brother.
Oh, my! Of course this was your Mom! She wanted to let you know she was okay, Linda. I’m so happy you had that experience.
Stay safe.
For a while after my uncle, an actor, died, I’d smell his cologne whenever I was at a movie. A year later my grandmother was deathly ill. One night my uncle came to me. It’s time to say goodbye, he said. Say goodbye. And some time later – an hour or so? – my mother woke me to tell me that the hospital had called to let her know that her mother, my grandmother, had died.
Twenty years later I was living and working in Spain. I’d been out with friends and was walking home. It was about 3 or 4 in the morning and all we’d done was have dinner – at midnight, as you do. Suddenly I felt my cat, who’d died about a year earlier, with me. His death was the impetus for me to actually move, something I’d been wanting to do for years. I was so often excruciatingly lonely in Spain, but that night had been a good one. Walking home, I hadn’t been thinking about him or missing him, but suddenly he was there and I realized he’d been with me for a while, not only that night, but other times when I hadn’t been paying attention.
Oh, I love these visits! Very powerful, Di.
Thank you.
Stay safe.
dear Claudia/Don — thanks for sharing the wonderful occurences from your life — I have one from when Myma was gone — she was a really good cook — her pies, cakes, mpot, green beans were the best — one nite after she was gone I was sleeping BUT a delicious smell woke me — it was so strong, I got up went to the kitchen and looked in the oven — of course, feeling rather foolish, did not tell anyone about it — the smell was oatmeal cake which she had perfected thru the years — Maybe I was not as crazy as I thought I was, haha!! glad to know others have had similar experiences. stay safe/healthy
You weren’t crazy, Linda! That was real.
Thank you.
Stay safe.
I have two stories, well lots more but it would take too much time!
Just last week, I had a dream that I was with my Mom (who died in 2004) and my sister (who is alive but in the early stages of dementia). They both walked away from me with my Mom holding her hand. I think she was telling me she’s watching over my sister.
The other one is 34 years ago, my second son was stillborn. The night before his funeral I had a dream he was trying to open his coffin saying Mommy don’t let them bury me. Ugh, I woke up in the hospital crying my eyes out. But the second and only other dream I’ve ever had of Daniel was a year after he died I dreamed I was looking through a box of pictures and found one of my husband holding him and he was about a year old. He was definitely telling me he was okay and letting me know what he would have looked like.
To hear from your son must have been so comforting, Carol, as well as knowing that your mom is watching over your sister.
Thank you for sharing.
Stay safe.
Thanks, Claudia, for providing a safe place to share our stories. Not everyone understands or “believes”. Three people close to me have died on October 4th in different years but each time I saw a falling star the evening before. Coincidence, maybe but I like to think it was their way of saying goodbye. I’ve also felt my cat jump up on the bed after she died. We loved her for 19 1/2 years. Hugs, Elaine
It’s hard to believe seeing a falling star each time is a coincidence, Elaine.
I long for visits from my dogs, but haven’t felt one. Maybe they’re always here and I’m too dense to realize it.
Stay safe.
You know the old saying “all dogs go to heaven”? That is why they don’t visit after passsing. However cats do. I had a cat who was with me in bed every morning just as he was before he passed. then on day I felt his favorite buddy show up at the bedroom door and they went off together , never to be felt again.
Oh, my! What a beautiful story, Jan.
Thank you,
xoxo
When planning my Mum’s funeral ten years ago, I couldn’t really think of a special song for her to be brought into the Service as she hadn’t really been especially fond of any. Then I remembered that she liked The Carpenters so decided Close to You would be very fitting.
It had been difficult to arrange a day in early January as both Dad and I have birthdays a couple of days apart and didn’t want to it be on either of them so it held on the day before mine. Plus there was all the upset of her dying at Christmas time and problems trying to sort it all when places were closed. I just wanted to feel that I had given her the funeral she would have wanted.
I asked to meet my brother in town at a small cafe so we could talk about the funeral which had all been a bit of a blur. I used to meet my Mum at the same place.
There wasn’t any music playing as we took our seats but a few seconds later, through the sound system came
“Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?”
We looked at each other in astonishment and said “Mum!”
I have no idea whether it was the radio or the cafe’s own playlist but for it to be switched on and that song to play at that moment was a real comfort.
Happy Friday
Oh my! How wonderful! That was meant to be, Dee Dee.
Thank you for sharing.
Stay safe.
Claudia, Long time reader, first time commenting. My father-in-law passed before my mother-in-law. Arriving home on evening after visiting mil in the nursing home to a pigeon on our bedroom windowsill. Lived here 29 years, neighbors or our family haven’t seen a pigeon before or after. MIL passed that night and the white pigeon stayed on the windowsill and finally left before we came home from burying her. Sister-in-law said Dad had Whitey the pigeon at his bird feeder every day. Mom loved the song “Lift you up on Eagle’s wings” and it was song at her funeral. Driving home, I saw it. Asked my husband and daughter what cloud formation was in the sky. Eagle. Walking to our car after putting our little, white dog down, dog cloud formation. I kept feeling something was going to happen to my 39 year old son-in-law. Kept feeling the number 42 over and over. This Super Bowl Sunday he was found deceased in his bedroom. It was the 42nd day of the year. Love hearing and sharing stories.
I’m sorry about the untimely death of your son-in-law, Carolotta.
I often hear of the appearance of birds or butterflies when someone dies. How comforting that must have been.
Thank you.
Stay safe.
Thank you Claudia. These visits have been very comforting and even made my husband believe. I have enjoyed your readers sharing their stories. Take care.
xoxo
Dear Friend Claudia: I had a dog I named Otis. He had been abused. He escaped his owners and I found him. Based on the area in which I found him, he was likely a guard dog. He had a chain wired around his neck and part of the chain was broken and dangling off of the wire. I assume he just took off when it finally broke. His ears were bitten down so they were about half what would have been their normal size and they were jagged – probably bitten by flies for years the vet said. His teeth were terrible and so broken down. The vet felt he had likely been chewing on rocks. He was skin and bones. He was 10+. He was afraid of everyone but me. He bit everyone but me and my other dogs. As he got even older, he could no longer play or jump around like he used to. After he passed, I had a dream about him. Honestly, it was SO vivid. He was YOUNG. We played and played and hugged and he jumped up and down on the bed. During the dream I recognized that it was a dream and I said to Otis “I know this is a dream and once I wake up you will be gone.” And so he was. But it was SO REAL. When I woke up I felt like he had really been there with me. I tried to go back to sleep and get back into the dream (know what I mean?) but couldn’t. Anyway, that is my story. From Chris, your friend you’ve never met (and fellow animal lover)
He was with you, Chris! I am sure of that.
Thank you.
Stay safe.
Thank you for saying that. I think so, too!
xo
In the summer of 2022, I lost my best friend of 35+ years to Covid. She often spoke of the stillborn daughter she lost many years ago. One night a week or so after Delores died, I had the most vivid dream…..I saw her leaning against a huge oak tree with green rolling meadows and sheep grazing and she was holding a small baby. She nodded her head at me as if to say I have been united with my daughter and all is okay. I sat up in bed and thought “whoa”. I woke my husband and told him and still two years later, the dream is so vivid. I know it was God’s way of letting me know that she was okay.
That must have been incredibly powerful, Ann! I’m so glad you had that dream.
Thank you.
Stay safe.
I sure am enjoying Don’s songs he’s posting. Great talent!
Thank you, Judy! I will pass that along to him!
Much love,
Claudia
I had a really long comment written (which I spent ‘way too much time on), about to hit the ‘post comment’ box, only to lose my entire ‘writing’ (couldn’t get it back); so, maybe it was a sign that my comment was too lengthy and/or that I was sharing something too deeply personal about my own feeling of a presence and also some of the ‘visits’. All I can now say is that it was helpful to me (makes me feel less nuts) for you and your readers to share similar experiences over those who’ve left us and who we miss so much. Thanks for the post, Claudia; and your photo for it is really striking.
You’re most welcome, Vicki.
If you ever want to share those experiences, feel free.
Stay safe.
Doves seem like messengers from beyond to me. After our son died, a mourning dove was cooing persistently and pecking at the glass on the third-floor front window sill of our San Francisco loft. It brought instant tears to my eyes. It stayed there for what seemed a very long time, even though I was just inches away on the other side of the glass. Gooseflesh.
Oh, Shanna! How powerful that must have been for you! I love mourning doves; they are gentle and comforting, so it does make sense that one would appear to comfort you when your son died.
Gooseflesh, indeed.
Stay safe.
Five days before I was born my father’s B-17 crashed on takeoff killing over half the crew and very nearly killing him. For some years a framed clipping from “Stars and Stripes” detailing that crash sat on a bookshelf in my dining room. Several months after Dad died I was listening to the Incredible String Band’s “Ducks on a Pond,” and when it came to the end with the line, “Farewell sorrow, praise God the open door, I ain’t got no home in this world anymore,” the framed clipping flew off the shelf and landed face up on the floor.
We were at a conference four weeks ago. There were two professors, doctors who have studied after death visits and near-death-experiences for decades:
Prof. Pim van Lommel ( I highly recommend his book) and
Oliver Lazar.
There were also people who told about their near-death-experiences. There is no doubt for me.
About 15 years ago, my husband gifted me with a tiny greenhouse. Early in its first spring, I took a cup of tea out to check on seedlings newly emerged. I stood sipping my tea, inhaling the warm, moist air and listening to the gentle patter of rain on the roof. Clear as a bell I heard my maternal grandfather say, “I wonder what the temperature in here is?” I smiled and replied, “I don’t know, Grandpa, but I’ll run in and get a thermometer.” As a teen, I had spent many happy hours with my grandfather perusing seed catalogs and puttering in his greenhouse. So, it felt totally right for him to visit me in mine. I have felt his presence in my garden frequently over the years and it never fails to make me smile. : )
Oh, I love that story, Dori.
Thank you for sharing it.
Stay safe.