Mockingbird Hill Cottage

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What Blogging Forces Me to Do

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Short answer: See the world with fresh eyes.

Like many of you, we are going through a tough time. My father is struggling and fading at the age of 89, my mother is in a nursing home and will be for the rest of her life, my beloved dog just died, my other dog is older, has trouble breathing at times, is slowing down significantly and I worry about her, both Don and I freelance and work has been alarmingly slow if not non-existent, we are older and in a world that is youth-oriented, it’s not so easy to find another job, we struggle to get the money together for our ridiculously high mortgage payment every month and we seriously wonder if we’ll be able to stay here, I seem to worry about money constantly, Don has been ill (but is now getting better, thank goodness.)

There’s more, but enough of the list.

I’m not feeling sorry for myself. There are people everywhere who are battling even bigger things, whose list of woes would make mine look puny. I’ve heard from fellow bloggers about their own struggles and am keenly aware that everyone has a story or two or three about their level of stress and worry at this moment in time.

Life can be hard and unforgiving.

This act of writing a blog, of writing a virtual daily journal, has saved me more often than you could ever know.

I have to come up with something every day. I blog about my life. I’m not a niche blogger. I can’t take refuge in a post that shows pictures of things I found on other blogs or websites. I don’t work that way. So, as I would be in any case, I have to be honest. Sometimes that honesty results in a post in which I pour my heart out. Sometimes it allows me to be silly. Sometimes it results in a fresh look at the world around me. As I think about a post and walk around with my camera, I see the world with fresh eyes. I see the beauty in bare branches of a tree against a blue sky, in the fading of a flower, in the pattern of sunlight on my wooden floor, in the animals who share our land with us, in the beauty of a piece of pottery – oh, the list is endless.

Often, I start to write and the humor of a situation suddenly becomes apparent and I find myself smiling.

I see the beauty in the landscape around me and I find myself smiling.

I see the simple pleasures of my everyday life that have nothing to do with stress or worry or money, but have everything to do with thankfulness and gratitude.

I let go of fear. I let in love.

Blogging has given me that. Writing is cathartic. Healing. The camera lens offers me a look at my world that I never really experienced until I started this blog. This daily exercise of writing a blog has helped me work through so many problems, has helped me to see the joy of simple things, the funny side of something I might have considered negative without the aid of writing about it, the blessings that I do have.

The important thing

is to pull yourself up by your own hair,

to turn yourself inside out,

and see the whole world with fresh eyes.

Peter Weiss                                      

That’s what blogging has done for me.  That’s what it forces me to do. And I’m so grateful it does.

Happy Sunday.

              

Comments

  1. I’m so glad you blog, because I wouldn’t have met you otherwise. I love the fact that you “spill your guts” as they say, because this lets me know you are human. You aren’t afraid to show yourself, and I love honest, forthright people who let me know where they are coming from. I treasure our blog friendship and only wish we could really meet in person so I could give you a great big hug and commiserate. You’re always in my thoughts and prayers pretty lady.

    Hugs N’ Love,
    Meri

  2. Claudia, I so agree with this post. Blogging has given me something creative to do in a year that’s been a financial disaster for us. I’m so tired of constantly worrying about how I’m going to pay my bills. It’s exhausting. Blogging forces me to get out of the house and pushes me to take pictures and reach out to my new blogging friends. I’ve also turned more to God and I’m learning to “let go and let God.”

    • I know what you mean, Kim. Sometimes I have to get out of the ‘worry’ part of my head and blogging helps me do that.

  3. Dear friend, what your blog makes us do, is share your life, your journey, and look at life through your eyes. You are a blessing on a daily basis, whether you are silly or thoughtful, spilling your guts or sharing a smile. I am sorry things are so stressful for you right now. No, you are not alone, perhaps some have issues that are, in one way or another, worse than your problems. That does not lessen your own pain. When it is your parent, your husband, your money concerns, it doesn’t matter that it could be worse, it is BAD!!! Hang in there, blessings are always on the way to us, even if sometimes it feels they are never coming. Know that you are in my prayers. Gentle hugs

    • Thank you, dear Sandra. And thanks for reading this blog of mine. I value all of you more than I can say.

  4. I for one love your blog. Since I discovered it a few weeks ago I find myself checking in more and more and the other day at work on my lunch hour ( generally consisting of eating lunch at the desk in front of the computer ) I started to go back and read some of your older posts too.

    Because I saw that you did a post of you in your flannel pajamas I am getting up the nerve to post my
    tiny bathroom and ugly upstairs carpet soon lol! :)

    Sorry about your mom and dad…..I know those times are terribly difficult. I lived next door to my grandparents for all of my life and was probably closer to them than my parents. And the nursing home / failing health days that we went through when they were old were very painful. It takes a toll, I know :(

    • You notice I have posted few photos of our bedroom? That’s because it needs lots of work! Maybe I’ll get up the guts to do that someday soon. xo

  5. Claudia-

    I love that you blog. I love that you blog in a raw honest fashion.
    I try to do that. I think the only thing we do differently is …yes, on occasion I do show photos that I come across, or borrow from other bloggers– especially when I see beauty in the images.
    Anyone that has read my blog knows…I also show my own AWFUL photos! Because they are what they are! My own images…bits and pieces of my life in the moment. I’m just not a photographer. But I AM wordy. I like to tell me story; hoping to make a connection with other women that may be going through something similar. So a photo every now and then gives the reader a place to rest for just a moment.
    Do you know what I love about your blog and some of the other blogs that I enjoy reading. Family. We have all bonded in such a way that when we see or hear of another blogger hurting…we offer words of comfort, encouragement, and peace. We ‘lend an ear’…or eyes, really. Giving a place for the words to go. Leaving comments and sharing smiles.
    The thing is we all have hurts, and fears …AND WOES. But it is nice to have a sounding board. A place to vent.
    Something to take our minds off the problems of the moment. That is the same, with you and I.

    …and I appreciate you for that one commonality!
    :) Pat

    • Hey there, Pat – nothing wrong at all with posting photos you come across! Why not? It’s just that I have established a pattern here, where I seldom do it. Occasionally, though, I do.

      I’m wordy like you – I think some of us are born storytellers. I certainly am. So I love, love reading your stories.

      You are so right – we are family. I find that enormously comforting! xo

  6. I understand. My daddy had Alzheimer’s for nearly ten years. When he passed away some people said how relieved I must feel. But what they did not understand was that there were times when there was a glimmer of recognition, the hope that he was not totally lost to us. Now he’s gone forever. My mom has congestive heart failure and macular degeneration. She often feels like giving up. My only aunt suffered three spinal compression fractures this summer and although she healed, she is giving up hope too. I don’t have any brothers or sisters and I never could have any children so it’s just me, David and Bentley. The economy has taken it’s toll on our construction business too. Life is very hard sometimes. All we can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other and be thankful for the blessings we do have. Keep your spirits up and find joy in the little things as I know you already do.

    Big Hugs,
    Susan and Bentley

  7. Love your post. Sometimes I have to be reminded why I started my blog as a personal journey right after my granddaughter was born. It is fun to post decorationg skills, changes in my home etc. I feel the pressure sometimes of not wanting to be boring and just afraid posting family stuff people will stop looking. So you reminded me that blogging is for me. I to have a mom with cancer at age 83, a dad we put in a home with dementia, lost a family cat, and have lots of highs and lows with it all.. Thanks for keeping it real..

    • I truly believe that your blog is for you. And if it becomes something else, problems arise. Because then, you’re trying to please too many people. If you write for you with honesty, others will find you.

    • Hey Pam if you are a first time grandma I am coming over to visit :) Because I am and went a little nuts when mine came along :)

  8. Hi Claudia,

    Firstly, I sincerely hope that the difficult times you are experiencing right now, as many of us are (ditto, yours truly!), pass and lighten your heart and soul.

    As I’ve commented in the past, I’ve been reading your blog for quite a while (via Brenda, another talented lady) and I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you for being such an honest writer. It doesn’t matter whether you’re writing about personified sewing machines or flannel pyjamas, your words are worthy and insightful! You mentioned that you’re not a niche blogger – again- you struck a chord, or in my case, a discord! As a new blogger (May of this year), I am finding that I am at a crossroads: I enjoy the photography and styling aspects of decorating blogs, but I am feeling somewhat pressured to write LESS, even though I have had some very kind comments with regards to my text. I love the process of writing, and yes, even if it’s about ‘freeloading seasons’ or ‘cocky cows’ , I have the need to be creative with words! Reading some of your older posts about the meaning of blogging has inspired me to go with my gut feeling and slowly start morphing my little blog into a more personal space, where being wordy is a virtue and not a vice!

    Thanks again for posting REGULARLY and staying REAL!

    Poppy xo

    • Being wordy IS a virtue. It sounds like you feel the same way about writing that I do. Words are glorious and using them is a privilege. Whenever I read those blogging tips that say keep your posts short, I laugh out loud. Why? Because someone decided that was the way to blog? There’s room for everyone in Blogland, including those of us who like to tell a story and love words. I always figure this, Poppy: If someone is put off my longer posts, then my blog is probably not for her/him. If that person just wants pretty pictures and not very much text, there are plenty of lovely blogs out there that do just that. Or they can visit Pinterest. I refuse to apologize for loving to write, and I’m not writing Haiku!
      xoxo

  9. And my friend, this is why I always check my reader and look for YOUR new blog posts first – over any other blog – for you are so real. And when I see you have updated with a new post – I always try to click over to your actual site – for I think that helps you. And you know what? When I read your posts, you help me….the glimpse into your life, your thoughts, your photography, your house, your garden, your collections is often a daily slice of escape & joy for me. Whether it’s reading about Pothos Whisperer, Flannel Pajamas, Raking, Mabel, McCoy, Trader Joes etc etc – it’s all good and I love it!.

    I know life is difficult – but your attitude and your desire to keep your life (& your blog) moving forward is inspiring. So keep on writing & sharing. You are a blessing. You are in my prayers. Hugs to you.

    • Thank you so much, Deb. I know you have your own challenges and worries and I admire the way you face them. You inspire me. Thank you for your kind words, my friend.

  10. Oh, Claudia, How I relate to everything you said. I saw my parents struggle with illnesses, mom a stroke and then dad with early Alzheimer’s, where both eventually ended up in nursing homes, a place they had made it abundantly clear they never wanted to end up in. I know they are in a better place now, so I would never want their suffering to have been prolonged just so I could still have them closeby, and yet I miss them so much it’s almost too much to bear sometimes. We are a very, very small family. How I envy large families with tons of aunts, uncles and cousins closeby. And like you, we have grieved over our beloved fur babies that we’ve lost. It really isn’t any different than losing someone you love. I know that some people who have never had the joy of an animal in their life might not understand that, but those who have loved and been unconditionally loved by an animal totally get it. I can also relate to the financial struggles and this woeful economy, especially with me being self-employed and having many jobs, like you. Part of my nightly prayers to God are to help this wonderful country of ours get back on track for all of us. But, that being said, I do know how blessed we are to have what we do have. I know there are many who would gladly take my tiny windowless kitchen that I have so often complained about, but shouldn’t! So we will all continue to look for the positives, the things that make us smile. And I’m so glad Don is feeling better. I know you have mentioned in the past that he was not feeling well, and I was so glad to read that he’s now on the mend:) Have a beautiful Sunday… Donna

    • Thank you, Donna. I know how much you have been through and that you are dealing with many of the same worries that I am. You’re right about looking for the positives. And don’t you think blogging helps us do that? Just looking at photos of your adorable Baby helps me do that and it must help you as you capture her mischievous personality through the lens of your camera.

  11. Claudia, I could have written this myself with a few exceptions. So sorry about your parents. My MIL is in a nursing home and failing fast. My own mom is the same age and doing great other than being mean.
    You have had alot to deal with. SO glad that your hubby is feeling better.
    I love that you are genuine on your blog. Mine is what is going on in my heart and life at the time. I am so glad yours is as well. I look for to seeing a post from you.
    I know it would be another expense but I really wish you could rescue another puppy. I think it would brighten up your world a little. When we lost our first Springer…..we were so lost. After we found another at the pound 3 months later, we were so excited. He was about four months old and brings so much joy into our little world.
    Love you CLaudia. I hope things get easier.

    • We will get another dog when the time seems right. Right now, I think it would be very hard on Scout, who is almost 14, to adjust to a puppy or another dog. She’s got arthritis, she has allergy issues, she’s become more needy of our attention since Riley died. So, for now, we are going to make her the center of our little universe here as we know our time with her is limited.

      By the way, I bought the cream yarn for your scarf today!

  12. You are genuine, Claudia. That’s why I continue to read your blog. Whether you are being silly, or sentimental, or incisive, we get the real Claudia! Your blog is always well written…and well photographed. I truly am sorry that you and Don are going thru a rough time. My mother, too, is in a nursing home for the rest of her days…I know how difficult that can be. Blogging has given me, a reader, a glimpse into others’ lives, that truly represents the creativity, resiliency, and humor in all of us. Thanks! ;)

    • Thank you, Donnamae. I’m sorry to hear about your mother. Please know that I understand how hard it is to deal with and accept that. I so appreciate your kind words.

  13. Happy Sunday Claudia..
    AS you know, over my way…. Ditto….

    btw..bill was (only) $250.00 ha! and Justice will keep on truckin’ a while longer. Totally deaf and 90% blind confirmed… It’ll be a long winter…. but she’ll be with us :D

    • $250 seems to be small potatoes nowadays! I’m happy to hear that, my friend. And I’m so happy to hear that Justice will be with you this winter. Give Justice a kiss for me.

      xo
      Claudia

  14. Dear friend,
    I look forward to reading your posts….smile, laugh, and cry with you. I have reminded my adult children of the” bumps in the road.” All of us are faced with daily trials. Sometimes it is health, family, job, or money issues. Have a day filled with sunshine!

    • I have had a day filled with sunshine, Carol! Literally and figuratively! It’s sunny and beautiful here today. Don and I took a drive up the thruway and saw glorious fall colors. I bought some more yarn for my scarves. And I’m drinking hot chocolate as I type this!

  15. Well said. You certainly have a gift for writing. Since blogging, I’ve learned and tried so many different things I never would have imagined, from recipes to crafts. I definitely view the world with a fresh perspective. and am grateful for much, such as inspiring blog friends like you. Hugs and blessings, Tammy

    • I agree, Tammy, blogging has opened up a whole new world to me. I’ve tried a lot of things that I might not have had I not been blogging. I’m grateful for your friendship as well!

  16. You are very talented in putting your thoughts in writing. I totally feel the same as to what blogging forces me to do. I have been wanting to take a walk in my neighborhood and today I did it because I wanted fall and shadow pictures for my blog. How beautiful the walk was! And right in my neighborhood! I like using my own work too and writing about everyday life. I am so glad I found you. Your photos are beautiful!

    • I’m glad you found me, too, Patty. And I’m glad I found you!

      How wonderful that you had a wonderful walk in your own neighborhood and got some beautiful photos for your blog.

  17. Dear Sweet Claudia – Who would have thought that just a few months ago, we wouldn’t have even known who the other was? And now, thanks to blogging, I feel like you are one of my sweetest and dearest friends. I know that things are tough right now. I have gone thru all of that with my parents and losing my youngest sister, but time does help. At this time, I’m sure you don’t see that. But, I just pray that the Lord will send you a peace that will help. I know so many people today who are so stressed by the world that I just wish there was an answer for everyone. I’m so glad that Don is feeling better and hope the jobs come rolling in real soon for both of you.

    When I need a chuckle, I think about that video you posted of you and Don dancing around in the kitchen. It always makes me laugh and giggle. So, that’s what I wish for you – laughs and giggles.

    I am so grateful to have been blessed with less stress than most. When I look around and see all of the suffering and pain in this ole world, I realize that I am truly blessed.

    Have a GREAT day today!!

    Love ya,
    Judy

    • Dear Judy – I know you’ve had your share of challenges as well. I am so glad we met each other through this wonderful world of blogging and I feel the same way about you, dear friend!

      I’ve been thinking about that video – which I took off YouTube, by the way. Maybe I’ll find a way to re-post it here because I know it made a lot of people laugh. xo

  18. Claudia,

    Two and a half years ago, our dogs and myself went with my husband on a TDY( temporary duty) assignment to OK. He is active duty AF and I had just come from spending four months back home helping his Mom transition to a nursing facility from her home.

    There is not much to do when you are living in a small, temporary military space and betwen many long walks with the dogs, I discovered the wonderful world of blogs. First Brenda at Cozy Little House and then thru her your blog as well as so many others. My favorites is completely filled with blogs that touch me, and those who share so freely of themselves, touch my heart the most.

    Moving so often with the military and leaving at first your family and then your children behind in different states is enormously heartbreaking. Finding this wonderful community of bloggers has so enriched my life in ways I can’t even begin to explain.

    My husband is now stationed overseas for the next two years, and I’m home in New England with our three furbabies awaiting the time the time we’ll be together again. Being able to be here to spent time with my Dad as he ages and to be available to quickly fly to my father-in-law if his condition deteriorates is a blessing. Having brought all of you wonderful bloggers along with me, feels like I always have good friends holding me up in the background, even though I don’t have a blog myself. I can’t begin to tell you how often being able to turn on the computer and read what is going on with all of you, has allowed me to make it thru an otherwise difficult day.

    There are no words to describe how important you are to me, and I hope that you’ll always have stories to tell.
    Keeping you and Dan in my thoughts and prayers!

    • I imagine it must be very hard and quite the challenge to live in a military family – moving often would be unsettling, to say the least. I thank you for reminding me that this world of blogging unites so many of us who are far apart in miles. It opens up a whole world of friendships that are not dependent on where one lives. I’m so glad you have the company of all your blogging friends as you wait for your husband to return. I’m thinking of you and praying for you and your husband, Donna. Have you thought about starting a blog? xo

  19. Claudia, I love your honesty and I for one am quite happy with the stark reality of how it’s delivered. It keeps me real and makes me think, that is a resounding hit to me!!!!
    Thanks, and a big hug just being you xxxxxxx
    Mags
    xo

  20. I can totally relate to what you say so eloquently here. I’m pretty sure that the act of blogging and looking for beauty in my everyday has saved my sanity, and probably my marriage too (hopefully!)

    Sounds like you’re having a right old time of it and its great that despite that you are able to keep a sense of perspective. This too shall pass, everything does. I love your posts and your honesty.

    Xxxxxx

    • Thank you, Sarah. I know that blogging has saved my sanity and I’m glad to hear it’s done the same for you. Thank you for your kind words.

  21. Thank you so much for putting into such beautiful words the things that are rattling around in my head. I feel guilty for being so stressed over my life when so many others have it 10 times worse. I too love blogging for helping me see the positive. For looking through the lens of my camera and capturing a moment I might not otherwise slow down and see. And mostly it has let me find bloggers who touch my life, my soul in a very deep and meaningful way. So just Thank You for this today. It has given me something I really needed.

    Linda

  23. I would venture to say that it has saved me. Literally. From depression and anxiety and all the fears one has. It has taken me outside myself and let the simple little pleasurable things in. You and I, we feel alike on this subject. We talk about blogging on the phone. Every week, every few days. As I said to Judy yesterday when she got back in town and called. “What did you do today?” she asked me. (Well, everyone knows I didn’t get in my car and gad about town. I’m not able to.) I said: “Oh, Claudia and I talked. As we can endlessly and for hours about blogging.” Enough said. It is our passion.
    Brenda

  24. I have been reading your blog for several months Claudia and it’s the first one I read everyday for a reason. You make me think and since I love words also I always look forward to reading whatever you’ve written. So many of your posts have touched my heart in a big way, I am grateful to have found your blog and will continue to check in everyday so I can
    continue to grow as a human being. Keep up the good work!

  27. Reading your post early this morning I could come up with nothing but trite to say. This evening my husband and I were dancing to Kenny Rogers rendition of She Believes in Me. As the song ended I could not help but think Claudia and Don have this too. Moments . . .

  28. What a beautiful post, Claudia. I’m glad you’re honest and that you share all the bits and pieces of your life with us, including the hardships and struggles.

  29. True we are all going through something it seems. I live for the moments of peace right now that seem few and far apart. I am a big worrier and it is hard for me sometimes to walk away from it. It is a good feeling to know that we can share it with others and someone understands. I hope things get better for you. This too shall pass.~xo, Patti

  30. Like you, I consider journaling (and/or blogging) a bit of personal therapy. I’ve written about the health value of writing and I believe it is one of the best ways to work through any situation. I don’t always blog for the world to see; sometimes I still write in a hard journal. But the results are the same. Writing about the tough times really does help you get through them.

  31. This is such a wonderful post, Claudia! Blogging has been such a good creative and artistic outlet for me…it has kept me sane many times over the last few years. It really does make you take a look around you and see things in a different way. Thank you for your thought-provoking writing, Claudia!

  32. Blogging makes me see things with a new perspective and to see the beauty where other’s do not. I also like to put only my own photos and thoughts on my blog. What I never thought about when I began is the friendship that I’d find here.. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

  33. I love your honesty. I am also in transition and I feel I am losing touch with my real life friends and finding more joy and comfort from my cyber ones, there is less bitchiness, less jealousy, less maneuvering for invitations, etc. I like a story and not a recitation of the weekend. Not to say I don’t enjoy a good gossip or talk over tea…but I find some phoniness in the world today, and oh, so much anger. Aging parents, frustrated grown children, angst among the teen age grandkids all make for a less peaceful life than I thought I would enjoy at this age. It is good to hear how others deal with and experience these same issues. Thanks for a welcome morning read. G.

  34. Claudia, I am so glad you shared this. We are going through so many of the same things. I am living with my 88 year old mother and taking care of her. I have a small vintage business and things are slow. I get frustrated in this youth oriented world. I wonder what happened that my skills are no longer needed. I love your blogging, my friend. Keep it up.

    Hugs,
    Laura

  35. And we shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time. T.S. Eliot

  36. Claudia, I have been thinking about this post since I read two days ago. I hope you know that when I tell you you’re in my heart and prayers that it is true. I think of you and say a prayer every day. I consider your friendship one of my blessings.

    I am supportive of trying to stay focused on the positive, and you are a champ. My mother is 84 years old now, and she has lived with us for over 22 years. I try to stay focused on the positive, too, because the negative can wear us down and out.

    Sending love to you from me.♥

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