Me. In an old sweatshirt covered in paint. No makeup. Hair still wet.
My bathroom mirror is the mirror I use most often. I don’t have a full-length mirror anywhere in the house. It’s the mirror I use to put on makeup, to check my hair, to gauge the way I look on any given day.
I think it may be a little on the kind side.
How else can I explain all the different and sometimes shocking glimpses I get of myself when I’m out and about? There’s the quick view I get of my profile as I walk by a shop window: who is that old woman? Or the view of my face and jawline when I’m sitting in the chair as I get my hair cut, with the sun streaming in on my left – oh heavens, I have to look away. Especially when the young woman cutting my hair has the flawless, tight skin of a twenty-something.
Or yesterday. I was in Lowe’s with no makeup on, and happened to catch my reflection in one of the bathroom mirrors that was on display. The overhead lighting at Lowe’s isn’t at all kind. My skin looked saggy, I had circles under my eyes. My jowl line seemed to be heading for the floor.
I was so shocked at the stranger who was looking back at me that I quickly moved away to another part of the store.
Are all these people me? How can I look so starkly different from the woman who looks back at me from the bathroom mirror? I feel like I’m trapped in some bizarre funhouse that leaves me unable to recognize the true me.
I call Don in a panic. And he says the usual things, that I look beautiful, that those glimpses I’ve been getting aren’t the way I really look. But he loves me and he sees me through love’s eyes. And I’m grateful, don’t get me wrong.
As much as I write about being ‘seasoned’ – my positive word for aging – I have real trouble with it sometimes. I’m 61. I tell myself that 61 is no longer what it was a generation ago. And though I have a few aches and pains, I don’t feel 61. I feel like I’m still in my forties.
My outside doesn’t match the way I feel inside. And I find it depressing.
How do we come to terms with that? How do I let myself age in a positive way? How do I accept the fact that I no longer look the way I did in my forties or in my fifties?
I’m going to be totally honest here: I miss the way I used to look.
I was a late bloomer who felt awkward and unattractive for many years until I hit my thirties and then I blossomed. I came into my own. I liked the way that Claudia looked.
I’m not so crazy about the present day Claudia’s reflection in the mirror.
Of course, it certainly wouldn’t hurt to slap some makeup on before I go out in public. But even makeup doesn’t go on the way it used to. And my coloring is different. My dark brown hair is now a mix of brown and gray, making my pale skin look even paler.
Look. I basically eschew the idea of plastic surgery, of fillers, of botox, of implants. Most of the time, they look ridiculous and, I think, draw attention to the fact that someone is trying to cover up the signs of aging, rather than successfully disguising them. And then, that’s all I see. I study the overly smooth, shiny skin on the cheekbone that doesn’t match the neck, or the way that person looks almost unrecognizable with skin pulled this way and that. I wouldn’t go under the knife, couldn’t afford to even if I wanted to, but I get it. I understand wanting to tweak things, to tighten up a sagging jowl line, to have the high, full cheekbones of yore, to feel young again. I understand wanting to see the me I know in the mirror, not the stranger who’s looking back at me.
It’s a challenge, isn’t it? How to age, to season, with grace and style and a modicum of class? That’s what I aim for. I want to accept who I am at this stage of my life, yet I don’t want to give up caring about the way I look. But I don’t want to care so much that I become unhappy with who I am now. Does that make sense?
That’s where I am today.
I’m going to be writing the occasional post on the aging/seasoning process. Heck, I’m in the midst of it, why not explore it? Maybe I’ll put them all together in a book someday.
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts, my friends.
Happy Tuesday.
Hi Claudia, well today’s post could have easily been me speaking. We are the same age (well, I will be 61 in September), my blonde hair is now brown with more and more grey in it. I certainly don’t look like I used to and I’m not interested in going under the knife either. There are times when I am out and catch a glimpse of myself (can that really be me???) in a mirror or window and am amazed. I had no clue I could look like that (not said in a positive manner – lol). One thing that matters to me is knowing I would never want to go back to my younger years…I am a much happier, content person today than I was early on. And, when I get a glimpse of my greying hair, I just tell my husband that I am channeling Bonnie Raitt or Emmylou Harris!
I like being wiser – I don’t like looking older!
Yup I hear you. 62 over hear in Arizona. How the heck did I get so old. Mirrors are no longer kind. Finding clothes that fit and are not “old lady clothes” is a real challenge. How do we learn to age with grace and dignity? I guess I have learned one thing in the last two years since retiring and moving cross country and that is to take life at least what I have left of it as an adventure. To greet each new day as the gift that I have been given and to find the splendor in feeling well and having the ability to do what I want to do. I hear so much from people my age about what is wrong with them physically or complaining about what they can no longer do that it had become a real wake up call to find the WOW in life instead of dwelling on the WOE. I need to remind myself daily how lucky I am and draw in a deep breath and march forward gracefully and joyfully. Now as to those physical changes???? Good Grief when did I start looking like Maxine the cartoon character and do you think they sell spray on concealer????? Cindy
Oh I totally hear you about the clothes – I don’t want old lady clothes, I want to be stylish! Why is there nothing for women our age that is affordable and somewhat hip (for lack of a better word)?
Have you ever seen the movie Enchanted Cottage with Robert Young and Dorothy McQuire (sp?). It is an old film, 1940’s era. It’s not about aging but it is about seeing the one you love through different eyes. None of us can stop the aging process ~ at least not yet, but so what? When I see a good friend, relative or my husband, I don’t see wrinkles and sagging skin. I see someone I love and that person is beautiful to me and so are you. Love the sweatshirt by the way. I have a painted covered one just like it :-)
Big Texas Hugs,
Susan and Bentley
I know that is true – I certainly feel that way about my husband and my loved ones and friends.
Oh, Claudia, I so very much know just how you feel. I will be 71 years in just 3 weeks! When did I grow so old? When did my children get so much gray hair? When did my husband get so old? Wasn’t it just weeks ago that I was 35 and so in love with my life? I really do still love my life in retirement but find my self thinking that there is so little time left for me to do the things I want to do. I just keep reminding myself each morning that I have been blessed by even having another day. So, until my mind can wrap itself around the fact that I am, indeed, getting older I will live each day as if I really was still 35 and enjoy all that the world has to offer. When one considers the alternative—71 doesn’t seem so old after all!
I think about ‘time’ a lot, too. I want to use if wisely and fully, Dorothy.
I’m less than a month from 57 – a couple of years ago I felt pretty good about still looking “youthful”. Today I look in the mirror and see far too much sagging facial skin, and an uneven complexion that the magic of make-up no longer magically fixes :) How did it happen so quickly?! I’m not that happy with what I see in the mirror these days, but I wouldn’t change anything because with aging I’ve become a more relaxed person, and in many ways, a happier person. Thanks for a great post Claudia.
You are welcome. I love reading everyone’s comments, Debbie.
Wow, your post today is a description of what I have been feeling lately. I will turn 60 in Sept. and I just can’t believe it! I keep in shape, am active and feel great, but I am so uncomfortable with how I look! I make an effort everyday to be grateful and to focus on the positive, but sometimes I just want to put on a cute little dress and heels and feel pretty!
I think the challenge is trying to accept the outside when we feel very differently inside! And I hear you about the cute little dress – I miss being able to wear what I used to.
I can also relate. I just turned 56 this month and I see myself aging each day. I get my hair colored every 6 weeks just to cover grey. Probably should do more often but cannot afford it. I have joined Weight Watchers and lost 44 pounds so far but still feel dumpy alot of the time. Trying to eat healthier tho that’s not easy either. But I see many of the older woman at my Church and other places and see how they aged happily. Sure there are wrinkles and sags and bags but yet the joy of living a happy life reflects beautifully. There is only one alternative to aging and I’m not ready for that permanent solution just yet! They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I honestly feel beauty is not only looks but personality and kindness towards others. From what I read on here you exude the lovely personality quality that makes one beautiful. Many other of the folks who comment here fit that also. So as the looks fade the personality remains and the beauty stands out!!
There is a beauty in a woman who has aged gracefully and happily, Marsha.
Right there with you Claudia! I am so grateful to have made it to 65 and hoping for many more. I also have that same sweatshirt in a beautiful rusty-red. Got it up in Victoria, B.C. Fraying and falling apart, but it’s still my favorite.
Tana
I got mine in Lake Louise, Tana.
Enjoyed your post. I was surprised to find out that you are 61 – you don’t look it or seem it. I am 62, 63 in a few months, and can totally relate to what you wrote. The window in my life when I felt comfortable in my skin and attractive was small and now I try my best, but…..oh well. And, I had a very attractive mother, so I am always comparing how I look now to how she looked then. Loved your comment about Don – my husband and I always say, “oh you are just saying that, because you are looking at me with eyes of love!” I guess I should feel thankful that I feel well and am still very active and try to take good care of myself. Will appreciate your thoughts on this subject in the future. You look great to me!!
Well, thank you, Liz. That photo of me on the sidebar is four years old now.
I went through this phase. But then I remembered how beautiful my mom was, with snow white hair, sparkly eyes, and laugh lines.
I’ve changed ~ I’ve grown my hair out & wear it in a side braid. I do a little yoga & walk 2-3 x a week, and at 61 I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Beauty is about who you are and what you do ~ not about what you look like.
xo,
Lin
You are very wise, Lin.
I think you’re beautiful. The other day my husband and I were photographed for the church directory. I was appauled by what I saw. Ughhh. The weight gain had actually shown in the photo shoot. How dare it! The circles under my eye was still there in spite of a professional make over prior to our sitting. What’s more is the photographer said, “What you see in the mirror is not really a reflection of what is real.” What??? And she hoped to see her shots! No way! She got herself a No-sale for sure! HA!
She certainly didn’t use the right words, did she? Wow!
Claudia, I’m 61 as well and every time I see one of those Lifestyle Lift commercials I say to myself, “That’s what I need!” Of course there’s no way I’d ever go under any kind of elective surgery, but the results sure look amazing (at least on the commercials!). I toyed with the idea of giving up coloring my hair but the first time I saw a picture of myself after letting the gray start to grow out I was shocked at how much older I actually looked compared to what I saw in the mirror! I immediately went back to coloring right then and there. And I’ll never be one to spend tons of money on face creams, etc. because I always read that the less expensive drugstore brands are just as effective as the high priced department store brands. So I guess I’ll just grin and bear it! But I agree with you – I feel MUCH younger than my chronological years and, in the end, I guess that’s the way I’d prefer to have it rather than the other way around.
And I second Susan and Bentley’s comment about The Enchanted Cottage. I kind of named my blog after that movie, I love it so much. I changed “The” to “An” because I didn’t want to plagiarize the title, but that movie was one of my mom’s favorites, and is one of mine as well!
Take care!
Donna
I saw one of those commercials last night, Donna! I’ve never colored my hair but I do think about it every once in a while.
Well, first of all … you are still beautiful and I don’t say that just to say it. I thought you were about 50. SO.
My grandmother, at 85… said to me ” It’s odd, you know… I still feel like the girl I was at 25, my mind still thinks the same things, but my body is something different all together”. That’s probably the norm.
I understand the desire for some to tweak their physical appearance as they age, and I hope I don’t do too much of it myself. One thing I’m fairly certain of is.. I will dye my hair, because with my complexion, the grey would not look flattering at all. It will sallow my complexion and drag my face down. While I know it will annoy me to be a slave to the dying process, looking at myself in the mirror looking older than I am, which is what will happen, will bother me too much.. So I’ve decided to allow myself that vanity. Some women pull it off and they look radiant or classic or elegant. That wouldn’t be me. On Makeup – I always think less is more. When older women really cake it on, they are doing themselves a disservice. Applying a moderate amount of makeup, just to lighten up the face a little, works best. Of course that’s just my opinion…lol…
It sounds as though you have a healthy attitude about it all, and I think that’s most important. Don’t be afraid to tweak just a bit if you think it’s going to help you season well and with a good frame of mind :-)
Oh, far from 50, Karen! I often wonder if I should have dyed my hair – I think the gray, though I’m proud of it, just contributes to what I call a ‘monotone!’
My mother is 94. When I visit her I spend a lot of time gazing at her face and thinking how beautiful she is. And when I look at myself in the mirror I see my bags and wrinkles and I realize that I will be my mother one day, and that I am beautiful too!
I look a great deal like my mother, Melanie. I understand.
Don’t fret dear Claudia……we all have to go through these years of physical changes (I’m 70), and if we’re like 99.9% of aging ladies, we accept them without surgery and the dangers/more ugliness that can bring too! I see a different ‘me’ in the bathroom mirror too – lately it’s with a new shorter haircut (and next week some additional fun hilites planned), a kind blurring BB makeup (very light coverage though – nothing thick and pasty!), a little eyeshadow and mascara, and always a bright red lipstick, I feel I can face the outside world. I may schlep about the house/garden in sweats and leggings, but I love dressing up to go out – even if just to the store for groceries.
As for activity for we aging gals, I’ve been extremely fortunate because I travel often and I know that keeps me moving. Since being diagnosed with the autoimmune disease (polymyalgia rheumatica) 18 mths. ago when on the expedition ship in Australia, some days have been very painful for me, and although much better right now, may continue. This won’t stop me from traveling though – next trip coming up in June with hubby – hopefully we’ll both be up for it. Right now I’m working on losing 10 lbs. before boarding the ship so I can enjoy the cuisine! I refuse to rock on the porch yet – although I admit to sitting there now and then with a nice cup of tea. Seventy is hardly pretty but the alternative is not even penciled in my journal yet!
So girl, keep on ‘keeping on’ say I…………we may look different now but we can still enjoy each day we’re blessed with – it’s really all up to us isn’t it?
Love and hugs, your much OLDER blog friend – Mary X
I wear red lipstick a lot, too. Love red. If only I didn’t chew it off!
I did lose weight this year when I cut out sugar – probably at least 10 – 15 pounds. That makes me happy.
I turned 65 in February and I’m feeling all of the above. So I tell myself that when I grow up, I want to be just like the beautiful Jessica Tandy.
Oh, Jessica Tandy was beautiful outside and inside!
Oh Claudia, You hit the nail right on the head! I was always taught, like probably all of us, that looks are not important, it’s whats inside that counts. I didn’t buy it then,and I don’t buy it now!
Having said that I just turned 63, and would LOVE to look like you do! -Judy Ainsworth-
I’m just reminding everyone that the photo on the sidebar is at least 3 or 4 years old!
I hear you! I just turned 63. I have had those shocking “who is that? OMG it’s me!” in the mirror moments. I try to avoid them because I know they could shock me into heart failure. The worst mirror exposure is the 45 minutes in the hairdresser’s chair. My eyes constantly shift around the room trying to avoid my own reflection.
The weird thing is that in my dreams I am always the raven haired woman of earlier years; never the silver hair woman I truly am. Does anyone else dream of themselves as they used to be?
The worst for me is ALSO in the hairdresser’s chair! I just close my eyes.
I miss my eyes. They were my best facial feature and now they have these flaps of skin hanging down over them. If I put on eye shadow you can’t even see it! If I had lots of money I would have those eyelids lopped off. Annnnd I have good legs but I hear that women over 50 should only expose an inch or two above the knee. Damn! But, my health is good, my mind is good so I just keep moving on and seriously I avoid mirrors. :)
I get it, Missy. My eyes are my best feature and my left eyelid sags a bit. I hate it.
From reading the comments I see that many of us feel the same way. You’ve expressed the paradox of aging so well. I would never want to be 20 or 30 again, but I would like to have the skin tone and figure that I once had and see now in my daughters, along with the knowledge and wisdom I’ve gained in growing older. I’m 57. My mother is 20 years older than I. I look at her and think, “that’s what I’ll look like in 20 years.” It’s not so bad. She’s beautiful with white hair and sparkling blue eyes. Living life to the full is important to me. I want to concentrate on that.
Me too.
I know those glimpses in mirrors or windows when out and about all too well. I always ask myself “is that how I really look”. I don’t think any of us feels our age as we get in to our 50’s and beyond. My grandmother, in a nursing home once, referred to her roommate as grandma once. My mother asked her why she called the lady grandma. My grandmother said “because she’s old”. My mother said “she is the same age that you are”. My grandmother said “but I don’t feel old”. She was almost ninety when she said that.
My grandmother used to do the same thing. She’s say “That old woman….” and the woman would be her age or younger. I often look at women who most likely are younger than I and think they are older than me!
You could have written this post about me…I feel the same way. I just turned 63…and this age is hard to accept. I, too, feel like I’m still in my late forties…but the mirror says otherwise. I don’t have a full length mirror either…so when I catch a glimpse of myself in a store mirror…oh man….who IS that person staring back at me? My internal view of myself is quite different from the external view. Aging is cruel…and it is hard to accept. But, what’s the alternative? So…everyday…I put on my lotion, and a smile…and hope for the best. As long as my hubby still loves me…that’s all that counts! ;)
Thank goodness for that, right?
Claudia I must admit that the last few years I’ve seen a person in the mirror that I’m not sure of myself. I will be 64 in June and I have always looked younger but I feel like it’s catching up with me. Still I’m grateful for my good skin and not too much gray in my hair. I miss my younger self sometimes also. This aging thing is not as much fun as they said huh? Hugs, Linda
I always looked younger than my age, too, Linda – I don’t think I look younger than my age now. It has caught up with me for sure.
My goodness it seems that you’ve tapped into an emotion many of us know very well. For me it happened suddenly. You know how you don’t REALLY look in the mirror at yourself? Of course you brush your teeth, comb your hair and put on make-up, but don’t really “look”? One day I happened to glance up while doing those activities and I saw—my grandma! Now I dearly loved my grandma but when did I start to look like her? Sagging jowls, pales skin and all. Oh well, I am who I am and I can’t change the basics. Hang in there Claudia. We’re all on this journey together!
Blessings,
Betsy
Thank goodness we are all in the journey together!
This past year, at 55, I have finally come to realize that I am not going to win the age fighting battle. I have to say, it has been both a shock to my system and a new found freedom. I wish we had really come farther in terms of our society valuing aging women; but I don’t think it has. So I guess it is up to each of us to learn to value our aging bodies and to value and appreciate other aging women. I recently watched an episode of Oprah Prime where she discussed this issue with Sharon Stone and Cameron Diaz. I was pleasantly surprised at their insight. I am trying very hard to look at my wrinkles and post menopausal body with the same kindness I would show to someone I loved. I am also enjoying the freedom of not having to try to be the prettiest one in the room. I want to be an example of aging gracefully and confidently for my daughter in laws and granddaughters. Each day is a gift and I am going to embrace it with my wrinkles and grey hair and my less than perfect body. And, I am going to run my first 5k before I turn 56.
We unfortunately see older women become compartmentalized and ‘invisible’ in our society.
Yay for you on the 5K!
Well, kiddo, (and I can say that because I am now 64, you are only 61) I do remember when I was in my 30’s and 40’s, that when people my current age said things like “I still feel like I am 25 inside”, I would chuckle thinking “who are THEY kidding?” Now I truly do understand. So many old sayings “Youth is wasted on the young” “Grow old with me, the best is yet to be” “Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m 64” :-).
I do know that I, personally, feel and look much better and healthier in the summer time, and your recent glances could be the reflection of this long awful winter you are seeing when you catch a glimpse. It truly has taken its toll. As I said before, when I think of Pioneer women, I can’t imagine how hard their lives were just doing daily chores, and then during the harshness of a long winter, along with the isolation it brought ~ just as in those times, even today it does take its toll in so many ways.
We have chatted about The Enchanted Cottage before, but that movie does have so many messages. It is so fun to see others referencing it and how much they, too, enjoy it.
No matter where we are, and what our circumstances are, even over the span of a generation or two, the comments in this post prove to me that we are all the same in so many many ways!! And that, I truly believe, is a very good thing.
Winter is not the time of year I look my best, for sure!
I’m going to have to watch The Enchanted Cottage again.
Claudia,
By the way, I think you are beautiful, inside and out. I can’t believe how strong you are to be able to take care of all you do around your home!! I honestly could not do it.
I have you beat! I’m 65, just turned 15 days ago. I can’t believe it. Where did the time go? When I first looked in the mirror not too long ago I noticed all kinds of things happening to my face and there isn’t a darned thing I can do about. So I’m just glad to be alive with my 2 precious daughters and 3 granddaughters and 2 grandsons. They are the joys of my life.
I lost my father, mother and precious step-mother all when they were under 65 years old for various reasons. I miss them so much!
Now I decided when I look in the mirror that I am thankful that I still have a head full of hair and the rest will just have to do. Take me or leave me.
Have a great day
hugs and blessings,
Linda
Love ‘Take Me or Leave Me’ Linda!
oh Claudia I’m 52 this year. I can’t even fathom it. I still feel like I’m in my 20’s but lately I’ve looked 10 years older than I am. I’m hoping it’s the depressing season and spring will bring my rose-coloured glasses back. I do need to start taking better care of myself but I know what you mean about those inadvertent glimpses of “the stranger” in the store window…sigh…J
Sign, indeed. Those shocks are becoming a bit too much for me!
I hope my 65 year old body doesn’t ever tell my age to my mind. Except for the “wisdom” that we develop as we age, I am still 29.Our bodies are finite, but we have a soul which will live on and I think that mine is 29 and will always be. That said, sometimes I do not know the woman I glimpse in a mirror. She surely looks nothing like me. Our bodies do things I really wish it would not. I ache in places which make no sense, I take longer to do things. I plan my activities around what I could accomplish 20 years ago and wonder why I don’t get everything done. I want to tell my Dr.’s nurse that she too will grow old if she is blessed to live that long.
I agree with Linda, take me or leave me. I will enjoy my life as long as God allows.
Let’s all keep looking at each other thru the eyes of love.
Lovely sentiment at the end of your comment, Regena. Thank you.
Well, Claudia, look at the solidarity here amongst your readers! You do have a way of getting people to open up.
Start small: bright, pretty earrings and blush and/or lipstick every single day. That is advice that I was given by a slightly older friend (I am your age) and it does serve to lift the spirits. I have noticed that I’m not as “invisible” in public when wearing earrings; isn’t that interesting? They add a little “je ne sais quoi.” Try it and tell me what you think.
It’s none of my business, but I have been wanting to suggest that you color your hair, maybe with a temporary color, just to see how you like it. I think you would look twenty years younger. Your skin is beautiful, as is your smile. Your hair is gorgeous; thick and wavy. If you like, I will send you a link to the natural hair color that I use. I am very picky and careful with money (like you?!) and I found a hair color that is worth every penny and very easy to apply at home.
On another note: you mentioned the other day that you don’t know what happened to your platinum-haired, bubble-cut Barbie doll. Well, I had to laugh, because I still have mine (I bought her myself in the third grade with three months worth of allowance money, $2.99). And I can tell you that our Barbies have aged as well … the plastic is slightly off-color, the glamorous platinum hair is now brassy, and mine has Green Ear. Google that if you don’t know what it is. So we are maturing along with our Barbies.
My titian-haired Midge doll looks great, I might add, so maybe there is something to say, there, about being wholesome and freckle-faced.
I’m with you on the earrings. Too often I forget to wear them and I always feel better when I have them on.
My hair isn’t very thick – it’s baby fine. But send me the link. I don’t know if I could ever bite the bullet and color my hair, but I’m thinking of it.
Oh no! Barbie has aged??? Say it isn’t so!
Years ago, a woman of “a certain age”, volunteered at my workplace. She was probably close to seventy, and was gorgeous! She had beautiful silver hair, wore it up in a simple arrangement, wore a little makeup, but wore it expertly, and carried herself with pride and grace. I vowed that I wanted to “be” that woman when I was older. Well, I’m older, and I try to age gracefully. I may not capture that woman’s confidence and style, but I don’t leave the house without makeup and looking as good as I can. My style is more relaxed, so maybe I can’t pull off the elegant look my former “idol” had, but I refuse to think that I’m over the hill.
All we can do is take care of ourselves, put on a confident air and, above all, don’t worry about aging. It is trite, but age IS just a number. My husband and I know a woman in her early sixties that recently climbed Mount Kilimanjaro! It was on her bucket list and she trained for two years to get ready for the challenge. Let those youthful thoughts emerge. If you feel younger, inside, let that youthful exuberance shine through!
nancyr
I think I have to remember to alway wear makeup when I leave the house. I’ve become sort of lazy about that.
Thanks for your advice, Nancy!
Oh, Claudia, did you crawl inside my brain?? I will be 58 this summer and it is hitting me hard. I miss my dark hair, but when I see women with colored hair it always looks so fake. I have never worn make up. Now I look at my skin and miss the smooth, shiny skin I used to see. Clothes? Luckily I am a jeans/shirt kind of girl, although it is a challenge to find a pair that works for me. (who thought these silly half-pockets were a good idea??) Most of all I miss my endless energy and waking up without pain of one kind or another.
In the movie “It’s Complicated” I loved the scene of Meryl Streep at the plastic surgeon’s office! She captured my feelings so well. As you can see by the comments, you are not alone. Thank you for this post. Now I know I am not alone either.
I am also a jeans girl, so that hasn’t changed. I love that scene at the plastic surgeon’s office too!
You are cracking me up girl, you are still beautiful inside and out. XOXO When I pass by those mirrors I say who the heck is that fat chick in my outfit LOL
You crack me up, too! You are much younger than me, my friend!
Dawn, yours is my favorite comment, out of all the wonderful and heartfelt comments, on this post.
A sense of humor is everything.
Excellent post, Claudia. One of your best ever, seriously. I read all the comments, thought long and hard about this [as I have for a number of years now] and in the end I have to view the whole process as a trade-off. If I was given the opportunity to get my 20-year old appearance back again today, in a matter of seconds, but would have to trade all the experiences, knowledge, insights, answers and attitudes I’ve gained in those almost 40 years to do that, my answer would have to be “Thanks but no thanks – not interested.” Nothing’s ever free I guess, but some things are definitely worth their cost.
I wouldn’t want to be 20 again, either. But in my forties? Hmmm.
My grandmother said that getting old was the hardest thing she ever did!
Your grandmother knew what she was talking about!
There sure are a whole lot of us crammed into the same boat. I’m 69, a number that constantly surprises me as I feel, as so many of us do, about 40 years younger than that — at least most of the time. I used to think my grandmother was so funny referring to her friends as “the girls”; now I know how she felt.
Yes, the hairdresser’s mirror is the worst! I have to keep my eyes open as my stylist is a friend’s daughter and we do a lot of chatting.
I’m on the side of those who think that the coming of spring will help you look and feel younger…and Don’s return will work wonders too.
Spring certainly can’t hurt, Margaret! Some sun, some digging in the soil, all of that will help. And Don, too, of course.
Claudia, we see pictures of you all the time, and you look terrific!
However I still know exactly how you feel. -Judy A-
Thanks, Judy!
OH Claudia, this is a great post! And I loved your comment about looking in the mirror at the hair dresser’s chair! That can be scary, let’s just blame it on the bad lighting. I’m rounding the corner of 67, I know, I always say it can’t be happening to me in this lifetime! I’ve always been OK with going from a very dark brunette to a beautiful silver, as I just never had the time to bother with coloring my hair. A little silver shampoo brings out those pretty highlights and makes it glow! I take a water color paint class with about 24 ladies ranging from 50 to 82, and it’s so much fun to see the spirit that still lives on in all of us! I just hope I can be painting at 82. I’m definitely a jean’s sort of gal since retirement, and love all the wonderful sweaters you can put a scarf with and for sure, EARRINGS, an absolute must!
You’d think they’d have GOOD lighting at the hairdressers, wouldn’t you?
I forgot about silver shampoo – I will have to get some, Annette.
I could write a book on this subject, sweetpea!! My sentiments exactly. BUT I’m cute…as are YOU! Face it, love, cute is GOOD!
xoxo,
Connie
You are adorable, Connie!
It’s really been a very long hard winter and I can understand your fatigue with “everything”. This probably extends to the house, property, dog, etc. and of course, our face! But I think we will get our groove back when we can again enjoy the outdoors, start eating healthier and lighter and sleep better without worry about that “s” word. This feeling of exhaustion will pass, just hold on a bit longer. And, if you want a quick pick me up, get your hair coloured and trimmed and you’ll feel like a new woman. – Louise (64 years old)
Maybe. Not sure about coloring the hair, Louise, although Don tells me I overthink these things!
I’m with you :) Thank you for stating how we feel so eloquently~
You’re welcome, Susan.
What an awesome bunch of ladies you have here..my advice to you is get your hair colored..better to do it and know than to not do it and always wonder..you may like it so much that it will change your whole outlook..if not you can change it back..
I’m hesitant about dealing with roots, Nancy. I don’t have any patience for that sort of thing!
Claudia- I am also 61 and I couldn’t have put it better. You are by no means alone here (not that that helps). I had the same thing happen for real. I was shopping in WEIS (a local grocery store) and for some reason one of their displays had a full length reflective part to it. I seriously was thinking I would have to step aside for this older person approaching me before I saw it was a mirror. I was appauled. Worst shopping trip ever.
Its not easy when the outside doesn’t match the inside. I don’t feel what I always thought 61 felt like either but I guess we can be glad for that :)
Guess im just trying to say you aren’t alone in any of this. One advantage you have is your wonderful husband knows you are beautiful and tells you Mine never has said those words so I don’t miss them
You are a very attractive woman. I love your hair and the fact that you don’t always paint yourself up!!!
SueZK
Well you ARE beautiful, my friend. We will gladly tell you that. xo
Hello Claudia, It’s been a long time since I’ve commented but how can I resist you writing so eloquently about a topic any woman of a certain age can relate to. And so many good comments. While everything you said is true and I relate, I hear your depression speaking too. I know. I’ve been depressed too. You could experiment with coloring your hair; doesn’t have to be permanent. I am 57 and color my hair. Don’t like doing it (I do it myself) but I find it really brightens me up. One comment mentioned the fake look of colored hair. I think as we get older we need to color our hair a lighter, softer shade of what it was, thus avoiding the “90 with black hair” look we’ve all seen. If I focus on certain details (like droopy eyelids) I can feel despair. But if I put on a touch of makeup and a lovely color of shirt, step back and look at the whole picture, I can see a vibrant woman. What a challenge aging offers to every woman who treasures beauty. It’s wonderful to hear so many women echo a desire to meet the challenge with, in your words, “grace and style and a modicum of class”. Keep writing; there’s so much to be said around this topic.
It’s all in the way we see ourselves and in doing what we can to stay vibrant, Becky.
And yes, I’ve been a wee bit depressed of late.
Interesting subject indeed….I always told myself that when I turned 60, which was last year, I would stop coloring my hair. I did stop and I love how it looks and the freedom (and expense) of that whole process. Would also like to tell a quick story….when I was about 7 years old, the lady who lived downstairs (we lived in a 6 family tenement) was 90 yrs.old. I always noticed that when she hung out her washing, she wore earrings and rouge and lipstick. One day I got up the nerve to ask her why she did that and I never forgot her answer. She said that even though she was an old lady it was important to “show up” for herself every day. She lived alone and still had respect for who she was and what she looked like at 90! It made a huge impression on me and to this day, even though I am overweight with grey hair and wrinkles, I make sure to start my day with lipstick and blush and earrings. I “show up” for myself and it makes me feel good.
I love that story, Elizabeth! What a great attitude that woman had.
At age 63, I feel the same way. My bathroom mirror and lighting is kind. It makes me feel good before I leave the house, but then I catch a glimpse of myself when I am out and wonder who I am. Yesterday I was at an auction and they held up a mirror to auction. I caught a glimpse of myself and I looked good. I wanted to take that mirror, that I would never be able to lift, right home with me. These days, I find I am gauging my looks through the eyes of my grandchildren. They are always so happy to see me and don’t care how I look. They know I am someone who adores them and who they love. In the end, at this stage of life that is what matters most to me. I have finally realized I will never look really young again, but I will also look back in 20 years and think how young I looked at 63. Our society definitely makes it difficult for aging women, but we must band together to show that we are beautiful at all ages. xo Laura
My husband always says that – he says in 10 years, we’ll look back and think how much younger we looked at this time.
You are beautiful Claudia, inside and out. I alwyas think about how young you look, younger than me because you have stayed out of the sun. When I smile all I see is laugh lines. But at least they are lines that tell a story about me and my life, lots of laughing, lots of worry. At 49 I often think, this is the best I am ever going to look, and that is scary. I do love my gray hair, and all of my wrinkles, I’d much rather be me than a plastic/botox variation of me.
love you beautiful sister.
Meredith
Well, you haven’t seen me up close lately, sweet sister, but thank you. And hear, hear – I’d much rather be me instead of something fake, as well.
Love you.
You look beautiful, even though you are not “gussied up”. It is a natural, peaceful beauty that you radiate. I do know your feelings though. I have them as well. At 58, I bought my first wrinkle creams. I won’t buy the expensive ones though. Probably too late, huh?! It is good to want to look our best with what we have to work with. I know that I perk up when I wear cute clothes and make-up. My husband loves me at my worst but does really appreciate when I make the extra effort when we go out. Around the house we are somewhat slovenly and love it! I stay clean with neat hair and clothes but don’t wear makeup and my best clothes unless I’m going to be around other people besides my husband. It gives me confidence as I’m shy.
Our joke is that, invariably, whenever Don tells me I look pretty – it’s a day I put makeup on!
Ditto! Ditto! And ditto!
I wanted to comment first thing this morning but I only had time to pop on for a moment as I was headed out for an appointment. I was just asking myself last night why it is I follow certain blogs and thought it really came down to the similar age thing. Curious to hear other’s thoughts and feelings regarding just about everything in relationship to how I feel. Sort of a gage thing. And then this morning, Claudia, you must have been doing some Vulcan-mind meld thing. It was that struggle with makeup in order to go out into the world today and at one point I was in tears. So frustrated and feeling so ugly trying to deal with the redness and then the flaking skin going back and forth between liquid makeup and loose powder. Yikes!
And ok gals, wait for it……………………………………guess where I was headed? To the hairdresser for color and trim! Couldn’t wait till I could pop back on here and read all the comments. You all have done my heart a world of good and so thanks to each of you and especially Claudia.
Last year I turned the double nickel and insisted I would not do that mathematical thing that a five rounds up to the next whole number. In less than 30 days I will be 56 and feeling I can’t ignore the fact a six does indeed round up but I intend to do a Wilma Flintstone and drag my feet till the dust never settles to at least slow time down in my mind. Sure, not much I can do about more wrinkles, more gray hairs and more general sagging. I can’t seem to remember who said it and exactly how (was it Morgan Freeman in ShawShank Redemption?): “Get busy living, or get busy dying”.
I know exactly how those moments in front of the mirror feel, Chris.
And thank you for the quote at the end – so very wise!
Claudia,
I love your honesty and how did you know I was having this type of day too. . I will be 56 next month and my oldest child will be married on May 3rd, of course I have been dieting and exercising for the big event. But just tonight at dinner when my husband asked “are you walking tonight” I said no I’m too tired I just need to accept that I will look like someone’s mom at this wedding and that it ok because I am someone mom. Aging is not always easy but I think most of the time your doing it with grace, I love your blog, you inspire me. Also I have the same tricky mirror in my bathroom .
You will be someone’s loving and proud mom on that day. And beautiful, too.
Once again we are “twins” in terms of age and insight and experience! I know EXACTLY what you mean and what you are feeling and I am trying my best to look as good as is possible (which seems to be less possible all the time) I walk into the bathroom at work each day to hang up my coat and the full length mirror and bright lighting show me an alarming reflection-someone MUCH older than I am with bad hair, sagging skin and wrinkles-where did she come from? I didn’t see her in MY mirror when I left the house! I am trying…to come to terms, to enjoy, to accept. It’s a challenge for sure. I like the “inside of me” better now than I used to…now if I could just like or at least appreciate the outside too!
And BTW, I think you’re just gorgeous! You have a look I would love to have.
Oh thank you, Marilyn.
I think I’m going to do my best to avoid all mirrors other than my bathroom mirror.
I am there, too, Claudia. Right there, riding shotgun. I have the same thoughts. It bothers me some, but it doesn’t keep me awake at night. I decided I am going to just put on makeup, get a cute haircut sans dye, hire Omar the Tent Maker since I gained weight being immobilized with my fall, and deal with it. We are all headed in the same direction. It is just a question of how far you are willing to go to quasi-reverse It. I am not going under the knife or doing Botox as I wonder what we shall discover about its effects years from now. But I don’t fault those who do. I just wish my hair would go salt and pepper all over as opposed to larger streaks of gray. Come sit by me! ;-) oh, and at least you can see well enough to correct your typos!
What concerns me the most is how many of my close friends have died. Some were a bit older, but still!
Maybe we should just wear purple with red hats that don’t match! Ya think?
xo
Sheila
When you think that Botox is a toxin that can cause Botulism…..the mind boggles. Why would anyone use that?
I feel the same way you do, Claudia – and I’m 10 years younger than you! I do think most women look better/younger with a little bit of makeup (not TOO much – that just makes one look older and “clownish”). A little blush, mascara, and lipstick goes a long way. I have my hair colored every few months. I would look terrible with gray hair. I was terrified the first time I ever had my hair colored and when it was done, I loved it. I stick with my natural hair color, but sometimes do slight variations such as highlights and/or lowlights. I think if you had your hair colored your natural color, it would give you the boost you are looking for. My mom is 73 and still colors her hair (she’s a redhead). She does it herself at home since she has to do it so often and it’s expensive to have done at the hairdresser. Oh – another thing that I think helps one look younger and healthier – good skin! (Without surgical intervention, lol.) I know genetics has a lot to do with it, but if one stays out of the sun as much as possible, uses a moisturizer with sunscreen, eats a healthy diet, drinks a lot of water, and doesn’t smoke – all those things will contribute to pretty, glowing skin. Anyhoo…good conversation!
I don’t think I’ll be coloring my hair. I’m far too lazy for the upkeep and expense! But exercise, a healthy diet – all those things I embrace! (And, in the case of exercise, need to do more of.)
I can understand your feelings. I’m 65 with, I’m sure, my BEST LOOKING days behind me. However, I saw a friend of mine in a store today who had had a face lift recently and I almost felt pity for her. I guess I’ve exchanged youth for wisdom, although I do try to stay in style(my own style) with reasonably current hairstyles. I’m happier than I have ever been, with spouse and life, and feel so fortunate to have someone who truly cares about me, as you do. I think we have to be careful not to fall into the youth trap that the media promotes and except the really good things that God has given us in exchange. I think you are lovely, soft looking with a beautiful voice and accomplished in all you do or have done. Be thankful, do what you can and love yourself as you are!
I saw a well known actress once, outside the theater I used to work for, and she had just had a face lift. But she was at the stage where there was bruising under her eyes and she looked like she’d been in some sort of accident. I shook my head and thought…. not for me!
OMG that could have been me blogging that post. I turned 60 on March 2. I don’t recognize the person I see in the mirror. I am trying to except the changes but I feel much younger inside this older body. You were right on with this post.
Thank you, Michie. I had a feeling when I wrote it that there would be a lot of readers who identified with my feelings.
hi claudia! i get everything you are saying in this beautifully written essay of a post. i find myself dotting around my eyes with olive oil and wondering about this face yoga that supposedly jennifer anniston does. i once heard raquel welch say that her anti-aging secret is some product called “frownies.” i’m forty-eight and feel much younger inside, too.
let’s be thankful for our health and fun attitudes cuz it does make a huge difference in how we look on the outside. ramble ramble.
xo
elyse
I think Raquel Welch’s secret also includes implants and plastic surgery!
Laughter and a fun attitude makes a huge difference, that’s for sure, my friend.
I’m 68 and feel like 78. I never thought of myself as old, but the last five years have been very stressful and I’ve aged considerably. I never thought of myself as old. I used to walk three miles a day, six days a week. I did it for many years. It’s hot here most of the year, so I was a mall walker. First my Dad came to live by me and his Alzheimer’s progressed. Finally, I had to put him in a nursing home. I thought I’d get back to walking more, but within two months my son was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. He’s since had three rounds of chemo and two stem cell transplants. In the midst of his treatment my husband was diagnosed with Prostate cancer and he died almost two years ago. So, I’ve aged. I’m not sure if the stress caused the bags and wrinkles, but I have them now. I never like the way I look, but I never have. This week I started walking again. I walked yesterday and today, but only a couple of miles. I have always felt better with excercise and when I feel better I probably look better. The longest journey begins with the first step.
You’ve been through a lot, Betty. That kind of worry and stress does takes its toll. I’m glad you’re walking again! Good for you.
I hope I’m not too late to get a comment in. First…seems we are all in the same boat (or life raft…Ha!) about not loving that reflection in the mirror and struggling with those young thoughts inside that don’t reconcile with our age.
I won’t beat around the bush, Claudia. You were/are a very pretty lady and somewhere along the way you decided to let things be what they were to be. And that’s okay…except I don’t think you are really happy with that. We can’t control so many of the things that we are going to be faced with or are already faced with as we grow older…I just wish that so many of us who have options when we look at our reflections in the looking glass…made the effort, took the time to put that good foot forward. I know it makes me immensely happy to know I’ve done the best with what I have (and believe me…it gets harder with each year). I truly believe it lifts our spirits to make ourselves well groomed, attractive, a bit accessorized and up to date. I think it adds a twinkle to the eyes of those we love, too.
I will always remember doing a post about 2 years ago about my skin care and make up regimen (it’s like brushing my teeth). A lovely, lovely blogger I’ve known for years commented. She’s in her 40’s, lives on a farm with acres and acres, just her husband and dogs. She commented that she gets up at 7:00 a.m. every morning, showers and does her hair, make up and clothes. She may not see people for days on end. but she does this every day for HER! I so loved that.
And that’s a starting point for you my friend (and it was for me, too, as I loved scrounging around in sweatpants and a ponytail on days I didn’t have to go out!). You’ve been shut in for so long and you’ve maybe lost your appreciation for how pretty you are and how to maintain that prettiness. Whatever you choose to do…this was a post that sent out a signal that you are ready.
XO,
Jane
Well, I’m really talking about a change in attitude, an embrace of what is – not a giving in or giving up, however – and letting a sense of peace and acceptance and, most important, happiness, shine through. I’ll try to remember to wear makeup when I go out, but I’m not going to put it on at home – mascara irritates my eyes!
Oh yes, it’s a challenge. But then I think I’d rather see a 60 something woman with a smile on her face than a young one with no expression. Besides, I find it so relaxing not to think aobut how good, beautiful I look all the time because it is not the point (anymore). Of coruse, we should care, but good looks come with proper food, fresh air, enough sleep and a healthy lifestyle. And self-conficence. Be proud of yourself! Have a nice day. Regula
Good advice, my friend!
The 60’s seem to be a killer for looks. It seemed such a losing battle that I gave up even trying and that made me feel worse than ever. So, I’ve been putting more effort into dolling myself up and it does seem to make me feel better. I started colouring my hair again and found a face cream that miraculously pulls those sagging jowls up. I still get a shock every time I see a picture of myself though.
Maureen, would it be possible for you to tell us the name of that face cream? I, for one, could use a “lift.”
I’m happy to share what’s working for me. A woman I know that is in her 80’s was using it and raving about how well it was working. It’s a line by Elizabeth Grant and you can order it online. The face cream was around $100 which is way more than I would ever dream of spending. Online they had a deal for $75 that included eye serum, day serum, night serum, day cream, night cream, eye cream and mask. I noticed it helped with crows feet at first but the big thing was it tightened up those dreaded Winston Churchill jowls! They claim the line is all natural. I’m not sure if that is true but vanity makes me not look into it too closely. There’s enough product to last at least six months.
Maureen, I’ve seen her line on a shopping channel here. Can you give the exact name of the cream? There are a lot of them on this site – I’ve seen that she has a neck cream, as well.
What face cream do you use?!
Monday I was 69! Me, 69. I admit I am struggling, I know what I should be thinking/doing but not there. I am actually getting my hair cut in a new style today and stocking up on some light make up and changing my attitude. Honestly I think spring will help,with that too!
Look forward to more episodes on aging gracefully or going head first with full speed into this next phrase of life.
I think spring will help a great deal! How does your hair cut look?
you’ve said this so well, Claudia. I’m right in the same place you are!
Thank you, Debra!
Hello Claudia, Once again you have put many of my thoughts into written words. The only time I am really discouraged by age is when I see my reflection in a storefront or like you mentioned at Lowes. Now I am anxious to see how I feel about it since my spinal revision surgery on Feb 11th. I am 5 weeks post-op and already feel myself walking and standing more upright. I know, the sags and creases are still there, (I’m well past lines) but I feel better not hunching over.
Kudos for bring up the aging process topic, its not an easy one for most of us.
So good to hear about your surgery and it’s benefits, Kelly! I bet you will feel renewed!
I really enjoyed reading this post and all of the follow-up comments, Claudia! I think all of us start to feel this way when we hit a certain age (I will be 60 this summer). I can remember looking at myself in a mirror and thinking of a mountain…wondering when I will hit the peak and start to slide down. Well, I definitely am on the other side now, but that is somewhat freeing. I have naturally very dark hair and began lightening my hair about 15 years ago, when the dark hair was too harsh with my skin tone. My gray is only on the edges (think Lily Munster) so the gray I have blends in well with the blond and looks like highlighting. I have health issues, and am trying to look healthier…not so tired or sick. My mother will be 80 this year, and she says she still catches glimpses of herself and wonders who that is…and I know 20 years from now (if I am blessed to get there) I’ll think of how young I actually was at 60!
Yes, Don says the same thing, Linda. In 10 or 20 years, we’ll be commenting on how young we looked ‘then’
I hope your health issues resolve themselves, my friend, and that you feel renewed and restored.
Attitude is my secret, Claudia!
I’ll be 71 in July. I had my hair colored for several years. The gray started in my 20’s. My mother’s hair was dark with very little gray all her life. I didn’t get that “gift”. When I was about 60 years old, I decided to embrace my white hair and I haven’t looked back.
I don’t wear makeup every day. I catch those alarming glimpses in the mirror and in store windows. I decide to ignore those glimpses.
Yesterday, I had an eye exam. The assistant, a young man, asked my age…now I do not know whether he was being kind or selling new frames, but his reply was, Wow, I wasn’t expecting that…which I took in a good way instead of thinking is he seeing 80 instead of 70?:-)
Awhile back, I sent a photo of a famous model, older, around 80, to my pro photographer granddaughter. The model has white hair. In the photo she is dressed in black and posed just the way I would like to be posed for a profile photo. I asked Xanti if she could do a photo for my sidebar and make me look as good as the model. She said she could do the photo. She also said I am more beautiful than the model. My precious granddaughter’s opinion means so much to me. Those sweet compliments and others are what make the aging process easier to take. I see myself at this age and am grateful I have better health than my younger sister and a lot better health than my mother did at my age. I need that good health for J, who has health issues. He looks great at 68 and he is not letting his many challenges interfere. Of course, men usually get better looking as they age. Character!
You have a GREAT attitude, Pat. Thank you for sharing your wise thoughts on this subject. Gratitude is a powerful thing.
Hi Claudia. I thought you were my age, 50. Your skin is lovely and young. I do dye my hair, but, the funny thing is, the other day I took a picture of myself and used chalk to make my hair look white. My kids all got a kick out of it. It is because of your beautiful look that I was brave enough to even think about going grey. Love your posts, Heather
Oh thank you, Heather. You can go gray or not go gray – whatever makes you feel good about yourself!
I agree that growing old isn’t for sissies, Claudia! I look at photos of myself and wonder why I look so entirely different from the way I think I look. Feeling one way and looking another is, I’m finding, a hazard of aging. But as time passes I realize that there are things I can do — and things I won’t do –to be able to express and project the energy my mind still feels. In terms of nipping and tucking: I earned this face (the hard way some days!) so while I might enhance it with makeup, I would never change it chemically or surgically. It’s mine, for better or worse. It reflects what i’ve been through. So does my body, for that matter. Surgeries. Childbirth. Why fiddle with that as if it never happened? I’m not ashamed. As for my hair… again, I’ve earned whatever silver glints there are amidst the dark brown strands; but I keep it clean and healthy and at an age-appropriate length, and don’t try to look the way I did 20 years ago, and I feel happy about it more days than not. Aches and pains? They come with the territory. (Or as my doctor once told me: “Your knee is 60 years old…. that’s a long time to be walking, running, kneeling, gardening. Cut it some slack!?”) And ever since then I’ve been much more sympathetic of my joints and their little pains. But losing weight always helps, as you said, and I dropped 30 lbs. last year, to get back to my ‘fighting weight’, and it increased my energy ten-fold. A good night’s sleep — a full eight hours — is also key, I think. Not only do you wake with more energy, but you look better and it’s better for your blood pressure, and your heart and your skin. (So is lots of water.) And like you I garden, I shovel snow, and I walk a lot. (Especially as I have no automobile.) I think as we grow older it just takes a bit more effort to do those things — including eschewing negativity … especially that! — to keep our body healthy and more in tune with the way our mind and inner energy makes us feel. For my money, you’re doing everything right!
Well-written post Claudia. I’m 58 and I’m definitely seeing the physical aging process reflected in my face and neck. Slowly, the weight crept up. I joined the senior center just down the street from me where they have a fabulous gym and exercise classes ($37 for the year and $2 per class) I exercise M, W, and Friday at 9:10 AM. We have an excellent instructor named Joy who has the perfect name because she’s joyful. I’m the youngest in the class (with the exception of the instructor who is 40). I exercised for a good portion of my life and this class is excellent for strength, balance, and core training. I leave there every day feeling encouraged and inspired because I did something positive for myself. Some of my classmates are in there 80’s. I got extremely out of shape over the past couple years and decided to take action. One way to feel young is to be the youngest one in the room. I have a new friend who is 84 and picks me up for the monthly literary club mtg. I am inspired by my elders. I would hate to have a career that focuses on outward appearances. There are some actresses who still get wonderful parts because they play elder women so well. Melissa Gilbert had a lot of facial work down and recently moved to Howell MI and started a blog. I think it’s a natural process to grieve as we age. I’m still grieving the fact that I had to retire last year for health reasons. I’m slowly working my way back to health. There are some days when I’m doing well and days when I panic but I’m slowly embracing where I’m at. Aging is not for the faint of heart. It takes courage and being kind and gentle with ourselves.
Well I am 66 this year, and I have been married for 47 yrs. Lordy that’s like forever! My Mum and Dad looked like Movie stars, My grandmother use to say ” girls would swoon under my Fathers bedroom window! LOL When they were dressed up to go ballroom dancing, people thought they were going to the Oscar’s. I was the ugly duckling of the family, beautiful as a baby, not so much as a young child or a teenager. My boyfriend and then my Husband loved me the way I was. one day I read an article by Helen Gurley Brown she said must women were Mouse Burgers,( plain Jane’s). I thought long and hard about this, and finally did something about it. I went from brown mouse hair and ( Mommy) out fits to Blonde hair, stylist clothes, exercised to the point, I sold exercise equipment, in my own store. I gained confidence in how I looked and what I said, and people in kind said I was nice looking and smart, all this at 35 yrs old! now at 66, I haven’t given up the ghost , and I still pull myself together every day.My Daughter is 44 yrs old I tell her every day she is beautiful, and smart and has much to give, to the world. I don’t need to have strangers tell me I am beautifull any more. because I believe in my self. I hope to have another 20 yrs left, God willing!