Maeve’s turn to wear the glasses. The tortoise shell look of the glasses certainly goes well with her coloring. I’m looking forward to seeing each of the girls in them.
Between the assault on Ukraine, which breaks my heart every minute of the day, and worry about Don’s shoulder/back, it’s pretty hard to concentrate on anything. He just left to go see his doctor – most likely for a referral of some kind. He is very, very down about this, though he does his best to stay positive.
It was a dark day yesterday but I snapped a quick photo of the bookshelves. I just added the newest books from Sarah. I think I need a few more, plus some tchotchkes to fill in the rest of the shelves.
I’m sorry this is so short today but I’m currently thinking about Don and wondering how the appointment is going. (I wanted to go with him, but he insisted on going by himself.) Say a prayer for him.
Stay safe.
Happy Wednesday.
Keeping you and Don in my thoughts today. Life can certainly feel overwhelming at times. The bookshelf looks great. Maeve is looking good today! xo
Maeve looks great with the glasses. All your girls are so cute!
I hope Don didn’t do any serious damage but falls are no joke at our more mature age. I’m glad he didn’t wait any longer. Prayers for speedy healing.
Ukraine is on my mind all the time. I have so much respect for their president and the people too.
Take care
They are no joke at any age, but definitely to be avoided at our age.
Thank you, Marilyn.
Stay safe.
Thank you so much, April.
Stay safe!
It’s so hard when our loved ones hurt and we can’t help them. I’m sure being active and independent us a big part of Don’s identity. Wishing him a speedy recovery and some peace of mind for you.
Thank you, Nora. No, this isn’t easy for him at all!
Stay safe.
I hope things are going well for Don. I’ll keep him in my thoughts. ;)
Thank you, Donnamae. We’re still awaiting the results of his X-ray.
Stay safe.
Keeping you both in my prayers!
Thank you, dear Judy.
Stay safe.
Maeve looks adorable in those glasses!
Keeping you & Don in my thoughts.
Hoping the appointment with the doc brings a large measure of relief to Don and you.
We’re still awaiting the results of his X-ray. He came home with some anti-inflammatory pills, so that should help in the meantime.
Thank you, Amy.
Stay safe.
The xray; yes, let us know as soon as. I’m so curious as to what it will reveal. I’m glad Don got some drugs to combat the inflammation.
xo
The pics are awesome! Best to Don.
Thanks, Lynda
Stay safe.
Gets so much harder as we age. I still wonder who coined the phrase “the Golden Years” ha!! Everything takes longer including the healing process. And waiting on medical test rests is the very worse. Hope you have heard something before the end of the day.
Hope Don knows we are all thinking about him. Take care.
Still haven’t heard the results and it’s almost 6 pm.
Frustrating.
Stay safe, Chris.
Prayers for Don AND for Ukraine. Your bookshelf looks great and that outfit is perfect with Maeve’s pretty hair! Hang in there, Claudia.
Thanks, Jeanie.
Stay safe.
I absolutely DO wish Don the best. You, too. Best photo yet of the dolls; the eyeglasses are the best, and of course her coloring; the red hair; I so love it.
Yes, I just was scanning some headlines online for the first time today and here I am crying again for the horror in Ukraine and these dear Ukrainian people I just want to envelop in my arms and give comfort.
Am on edge because we didn’t sleep from Saturday night through Monday night due to the new dog who is having one very tough transition. All he wants is out, trying to get at windows and doors, climbing over furniture, toppling tables and lamps, breaking things, crushing things, scratching things. Trying to get up-top things to nowhere; impossible to understand. Between this and the mouthing/pre-biting, we’re at our wit’s end.
I became afraid of the dog enough yesterday that I didn’t want to handle him. In many talks with the rescue facility from where he’s come to us, they suggested to try crating and, what a surprise, he took to a crate so easily and with little protest, so this has been something he’s known; it gives him a ‘time-out’ from obsessive behavior. With the shelter-furnished ‘comfort drops’ in his food, we all actually got four whole hours of sleep last night, since this new situation forced him to calm down, stop roaming around at night and trying to get at windows. He otherwise can’t stand to be shut up in the bedroom with us at night; he hates small rooms like our tiny home office. The new thing is that he refuses to do his poop/pee unless he’s leashed and walking around the block (not exactly the safest thing for us to be doing at 3am); we can’t get him to go out the simple path at the sliding door to go out back where he has his fenced-in yard and lawn, so it’s all a real mystery and something we’ve really got to work on with him.
We just haven’t felt we’re benefiting him; the dog seems so unhappy and confused and wary too much of the time. And then his behaviors have kept deteriorating rather than improving. My husband had said, “I think he’s broken; too damaged. I don’t think it’s in our realm of any kind of expertise to know how to rehab this dog. It wasn’t explained to us that he needed this much work. The shelter is saying they just didn’t know, although it’s ‘telling’ he keeps coming back out of fostering to be returned to them.” Then I said, “But it’s only five days and he has been at the shelter for five months.”
We’d decided yesterday we can’t do this, so I packed his stuff up and I thought my husband was returning him to the shelter yesterday afternoon. Then, we hesitated. But this morning we called and said, yes, after talking to the shelter manager (who agreed), this is a dog who has to go back, despite our pledge we’d get him xtra training or whatever it takes. Which then made us consider the aspect again of being ‘quitters’ which is awful. So, we sat with the dog all morning since that phone call, tried to think of everything to improve his behavior, how we can help him; what we can do. Can we make THIS much of a commitment; frankly, is he worth it? We get tired; we’re older now; we were hoping for a less-troubled pet.
But we’ve come up with a new plan. Maybe it’s not practical or sensible, but we can’t seem to give up on this dog after just a week. We just can’t. Are we doing this for us or him now, because we don’t want to feel humiliated and be labeled quitters? It goes against the grain; I can’t be one of those people who doesn’t stick it out, to give up too easily (we pretty much gave them our word after all) although this dog is suffering and needs so much work. I said to my husband, “Truly, we didn’t expect it to be this bad. Are you up to this?” And that’s too because we have a lot of other stuff going on in our life and we need to get back to it, as we’ve devoted five days hands-on and all about the dog to the exclusion of everything else in our life including canceled medical appointments which we can’t do for long.
So, we’re unpacking his things, my husband is going to call the rescue group and say we’ll try harder (although we’ve been trying pretty darned hard already); that we’re going to invest ourselves even more and really make this work if we possibly can. We can deal with the Aussie Shep’s athleticism, vigor, need for exercise (he’s now getting walked six miles per day) but we are trying ways also to mentally challenge him so that he quits fixating on negative behaviors and concentrates more on things like a puzzle, which can be as simple as putting food in a toy which he really has to work to get out (he’s very food-motivated).
I’m going on and on about this dog too much, Claudia; I just feel a kinship here because you know what this is and you had your Riley with probably some of the same issues at adoption. Thanks.
I feel your worry and pain. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do. But it sounds like you’re committing to trying again and that’s good. We crated our dogs – all of whom were rescues – it makes an enormous difference. Maybe he was shut up, abused. My heart breaks for him. I’ll pray that he learns that he is safe. My god, what happened to that boy?
Stay safe, Vicki.
Claudia, thank you, thank you. I so appreciate your comment. You have such heart and thoughtfulness such that I’m having a good cry again from your kind words but I’m just so grateful that you’re not judging me because I already have been feeling so bad. But read further in my comments (sorry again; I’m too wordy; it goes for too long) because there may be more hope indeed for this dear boy.
xoxo
Okay, this is the last dog comment; I know I’m over-doing it. I just want to finish the story. I think it’s wrong to be talking about any of this (dog stuff) because what’s going on in Ukraine is worse than anything.
Not comparing a canine to a human; however, I just keep on thinking of foster children who go in and out of foster homes. How they can’t count on anything but more change a lot of the time. Of course they’re on guard; they’ve had inconsistent nurturing sometimes. They have fear of going to a new place even if it might be the final, good place/home for them. I understand these kids can’t help but get very self-protective. It’s like you said early-on, Claudia, our dog is a foster dog and he needs constancy. (Just like a child does.) To go back to a pen/run where he (feels trapped) has cover but not even an igloo when we have cold nights coming again later this week, where he’s on concrete and not grass unless there are enough volunteers to get him walked that day (of course all doing the hard work and the very best they can for these lost and abandoned dogs), I can’t bear it for him. It’s even more unnatural for him, and especially his breed mix. (The irony is that we didn’t go out looking for any specific breed to foster or adopt; we knew we wanted a larger dog than a small one, but the breed didn’t matter to us; boy howdy are we now learning about this specific breed of Aussie Shep, though.)
I am keeping a journal of his good and bad behaviors so that if, ultimately/sadly, there’s STILL no choice but to take the dog back, if everything else we do fails (because I also can’t have him destroying my home; he nearly pulled down a heavy floor-to-ceiling pantry unit on himself, another heavy bookcase, a table with a glass lamp, he scratched up my newly-refinished cedar chest/toy chest from 1905 [wooden wheels; authentic skeleton key] and I also have vintage wood headboards from the 1940s that were perfect and he has shredded one now to where it is deeply grooved and will have to go to the furniture restorer, which I can’t really afford, as in what it’s going to cost); at least I will have amassed for the rescue group a lot of key info/observations of the dog as he is inside of a house, so that they can place him correctly because, I think if it doesn’t work with us, he can’t be in a conventional home with an indoor life as this has happened too many times now with other foster folks the shelter has turned him over to; he really will have to be outdoors and out on a big property he can roam and ‘control’. Here, we will continue, as we have, to provide a routine the dog can count on; a quiet, calm, not-noisy and instead calm environment. I hope he can settle down. I am, as is my husband, completely and utterly exhausted.
Ah … an update to close this, happened while I was finishing writing: When we called the shelter AGAIN to say we were now NOT bringing back the dog today, they were thrilled and immediately gave us over to one of their trainers who just happened to be there today and I wish we could have talked to her sooner! Wow was this a boon. She knows our dog VERY well, has already worked with him and says she’d take him herself but she already has adopted four large-breed dogs. So, to sum up without much more detail, since I’ve detailed enough here, she listened carefully to everything we said about the dog; has several interesting tips for us which we can start immediately and she will follow up on Monday, see how we did in the time between and, if needed, come out to our house to see the surroundings and further troubleshoot the dog’s behavior in his new environment. I have a tendency to want to hug and hold and smooch on a doggie and she said (I’d already learned this with him), NOT YET; that his breed-mix/genes makes him VERY independent; that these Aussie Sheps are still used in current-day on ranches where they’re let loose and herd sheep all day in the foothills of Southern Calif, never interacting with a human (not even ONE human???). A working/herding dog breed with a job. (If our dog has come from this kind of upbringing, can’t imagine how much he must miss that kind of freedom; is so understandable; it’s said he did come from a ranching area. So I hope we’re all not doing him a disservice. He’s only two years old. Maybe he can still change/adapt and accept a modified life to what he might have had.) Ohmygosh was this knowledgeable trainer helpful. We feel much brighter; there’s hope yet for this handsome dog. Thanks for listening. I’ve been as bewildered as the dog!
So valuable talking to the trainer! And if she could come to the house and guide all three of you, wouldn’t that be great?
xo
Bless you
Thank you, Linda.
He had to have been horribly abused, poor thing.
An animal psychic told us Riley had been chained up in a yard. Never any affection. He just didn’t know how to deal with touch or affection. You could not come up behind him and you couldn’t touch his neck. Oh, there was a lot more. It’s hard.
xo
Claudia, this is EXACTLY what is happening with our dog. You absolutely cannot come up behind him and touch his neck especially if you’re in a standing position; that is exactly IT. I am so glad you made this reply; thank you. We have to be very careful with arm motions around him if we’re in close proximity. Dear God, does this mean our dog, instead of having free roam, was chained up? This makes me even more driven to help him. He’s been such a good boy today (cuddly!), as if he knew his time with us was almost up. He is so beautiful; his coat is so soft. He has the prominent occiput (back of skull) which makes him look intelligent (he IS intelligent) and I notice it especially when he appears to be quiet and deep in thought.
When you think back on it, what were Riley’s good traits that made you hang on and complete the adoption despite everything that was a worry/red flag about him; may I ask? I think you told me that he was not quite age 3 at the time, too; just like our Aussie mix. Because, believe me, my husband and I have really been weighing the good vs bad; I’m anal/analytical and have to get it all down on paper with the pro/con, then go over it verbally with my husband.
Oh Vicki, I feel for you. I’ve been where you are. I used to be a vet tech. We’ve had 6 dogs and 2 cats over our 39 year marriage. They have all been rescues and a joy. Until 8 years ago when Gus came into our lives. We’d never experienced anything like him. He was a 4 month old Lab X and totally crazy. He was abandoned at my best friend’s vet clinic. We tried but there was no connection whatsoever. I never thought I would do it, but we arranged to give him back at the end of the first weekend. Then they couldn’t take him for another two days so we said we’d keep him until then. Then a week went by.
We called him psycho puppy. He had to be watched every second of every day. We would walk him and I’d feel bad because life just passed him by because he was always so frantic. I wanted so badly for him to experience what was around him. Then my girlfriend told me she’d found another home for him. A nice man had 2 dogs and one passed away. Gus would be a companion to his other dog. But he’d be an outside dog. That shocked me because it was already clear Gus wanted to be inside with his family. I looked at him and knew if he went to another home, I’d worry about him every day. Forever. I figured I’d just have to give up life as I knew it for oh… about 12 years. He was home.
We walked him everywhere to try to wear him out. On Remembrance Day, Gus and my husband went down to the cenotaph for the ceremonies. Lots of crowd and noise. Hubby said Gus leaned against him and they had their first connection. He said he thought there was a special spark in Gus and a real intelligence. I thought my optimist husband was crazy.
Long story short, Gus is now 8-years-old and the calmest, sweetest, smartest dog we could ever hope for. There’s a strong unbreakable bond between the three of us. You may discover your boy is better off in another home but first you could do it like we did and try a little more time, then a little more time. And so on until you know for sure. Adjustment periods can be tough to get through and Aussies and Shepherds are super high energy breeds and so smart that they need constant engagement. I get the feeling that either way, you will do what is best in the end. I hope you keep us updated.
Wow, Colleen, I am SO appreciative of your story and advice. Thank you for caring. I think I’ve been talking ‘way too much about my new foster dog. Claudia is being her usual kind self to let me spill on the blog.
I do feel there’s hope. But I think transitioning him is going to be very, very hard although we’re all hanging in there. He’s a little loopy today because of all the ‘comfort’ medication advised by the rescue group. It might have to be like this for awhile although I don’t like the idea of a ‘drugged’ dog (it’s all herbal stuff, mostly; still…). I notice he’s starting to obey me when I say ‘no’ and this is a breakthru because my husband is alpha very quickly and the dog has been ignoring me when it comes to simple commands. (Although he likes to sit at my feet when he feels confused; today, I got a huge lick on my face and that may not have been the safest thing in the world although he’s ‘mouthing’ less and seems to stop himself, like if he goes to the hand that’s petting him, he edits himself and pulls back; I think he’s learning the ropes around here; as you say, these Aussies are SMART animals.)
We both want to make this work SO badly. We’re not trying to ‘break’ the dog like some people ‘break’ a horse; we’re just trying to work against his fight/flight dilemma. We will keep trying and trying to ease his fear.
My grandpa, who LOVED dogs, reportedly could take in any dog, train any dog. But Mother did tell me of one dog he got once that he could absolutely do nothing with (a purebred boxer) and I suppose there are animals who are just born ‘mental’ much like humans (I don’t mean to make a disparaging comment about any living being who struggles with mental illness; I’ve suffered mentally myself in my 20-years-ago past [depression; panic attacks {over about a six-month period}] from which I’ve been spared from ever since, thank God). It was the only time my grandfather ever gave up on a dog but the dog was apparently hopelessly uncontrollable and untrainable, so it was really sad and my mom hadn’t seemed to ever quite get over this from her childhood. There was a dalmatian he had which was also very, very difficult to train; Mom said it took a lot of time and they almost gave up on that dog, too. Oh, I just remember what part of the problem was, and this was such a long time ago, like the 1930s, but the dalmatian was found to be DEAF, so of course the training was more challenging.
Just impossible to know how some animals come into the world; how they’re bred but also how they’ve been handled; and, if it’s bad, it’s bad. I think my husband and I have crossed over the point of returning our foster dog to the shelter; that we’re going to dig in, go ahead and adopt him; and, like you, just accept this as our life now with the dog, that he’ll take a lot of work, and this is just how it is because, at some point, it will be behind us and he will finally, as your Gus, settle into his new life.
I don’t know why exactly this is our new mission in life when we sure as heck have a lot of other stuff going on, but it just IS. When we had our other nine rescues over the 30-plus years of our marriage, and none of those dogs were easy either (it’s just that we were younger!), we never had an ‘out’ (like the option of returning a dog to a shelter), so we just pressed on and dealt with the situation, tried not to overthink it, just one day after the next; ‘keep calm and carry on’.
It’s just hard to be up at 4:30 am, walking the dog in the neighborhood in between his crate stints for the overnight (as his comfort medications wear off), especially because it’s 5pm right now in Southern Calif and rain (for which we’re thankful!) is imminent and forecasted throughout the night and into tomorrow. We’ll muddle through (my poor tired husband who is being remarkably understanding about this dear, troubled boy dog). Leash in one hand, umbrella in the other!
And all those little signs you see – the lick on the face, the cuddle – are signs that he’s slowly adapting. You can do it!
Riley was a gentle dog otherwise. He had a sad look in his eyes that I couldn’t forget – I wanted to make his life better. He got along with Scout immediately – there were no problems there – and we found that hopeful. Mostly – we had made a commitment to him and I couldn’t bear the thought of taking him back. This went on for several months, off and on. But we stuck with him and I’m glad we did.
Thanks for expanding on that. The written notes on our dog say that he gets along well with other dogs so of course that made me think he needs a female companion of the same age; a thought that comes in which I have to dispel because, for now, we have our hands full, and how can I even THINK about a companion dog for our boy when his whole fate has been up in the air (I must sound like a nutcase). But, yes, it’s the same thing: We want to make this dog’s life better. Even my cousin who works at his rescue facility says to potential adopters who voice doubt if they’re the right people for the dog, “Here, he’s taken care of, but it’s not really a life. With you, he’ll have a life.”
I will remember to be patient, of how your own commitment sometimes started to wobble but then never did, over months … several … not weeks. I am so grateful for what other people are telling me of pet-adoption struggles (your wonderful readers, including you), where a person gets to the brink of saying, “I can’t do this.” But then we do, and the rewards are great, not just for the dog but also for us. Thanks again, Claudia. I know you have a lot on your mind and I appreciate the time you’ve taken to comment. Truly.
You can do it, Vicki. He’s already telling you he wants to be with you.
xoxo
Prayers for Don to heal completely and for you to stay strong.
Thank you, Barbara.
Stay safe.
Prayers for Don. ❤️🙏🏼
Thank you, Liz.
Stay safe.
Prayers for Don. Shoulder injuries are so painful. xo
Thank you, Betsy.
Stay safe.
Prayers for Don. And for you. I broke my shoulder just a few years ago and , following physical therapy, I’ve had no problem with it since. Even we seniors manage to heal nicely when we get the right treatment. Hope he follows doctor’s orders which will probably involve lots of patience and rest. ❤️
No orders as yet because we don’t have the X=ray results yet.
Thanks, Suzanne.
Stay safe.
Prayers Don
Little grandson has dislocated shoulder…
So sorry to hear that, Brenda.
Stay safe.
You and Don are both in my prayers. I hope he starts healing soon. All the evil going on in Ukraine is just making me sick. Those poor people who did absolutely nothing to deserve how they are being treated. Putin is a very sick man! I also wish I could be walking on the beach in San Diego. It might be time for a trip to visit my sister. Take care!
Thank you, Deb.
Stay safe.
I hope Don’s results come back soon and he can get feeling better.
Maeve looks wonderful. I was a glasses wearing redhead for years but my outfits weren’t so glorious.
I have cried many tears over Ukraine. The news coverage is heartbreaking. I pray those poor people can be helped and the world protected.
I can’t get them out of my mind. They’re fighting this alone and I wish that wasn’t the case.
Thanks, Colleen.
Stay safe.
Oh, the shoulder/back injuries are so tricky. Sending all healing thoughts your way. Xo
Thank you, Naomi.
Stay safe.