Oh, friends. I’m trying. I’m trying. But a pall of sadness and despair has come over me. I suspect the same thing has happened to you. I’m just trying to keep moving forward in the face of unspeakable sorrow. I won’t even go into the hateful rhetoric spewing out of the Orange Man’s mouth. Sitting in a corner with a dunce cap on his head? The stocks in the public square? Better yet, jail?
Don hasn’t been sleeping well and, therefore, I haven’t been sleeping well. That isn’t helped, for either of us, by what we’re seeing and hearing and feeling. A sleepless night last night for Don and he’s off to film an episode of Mr. Robot today.
The new roses in memory of my dad. I’m not looking forward to Father’s Day. But I’m going to try to do a little something for Don because he’s missing Scout so much. I’ve got an idea.
Anyway, this is the At Last rose after it’s been open for a few days.
Here it is when it’s just opening – more of a peachy color. I love it in all its stages. Thank you again, Martha.
I was on the phone with Bluehost, the host of this blog, for over an hour yesterday as we tried to get to the bottom of why you weren’t getting my replies to your comments, why I wasn’t getting emails of your comments and why other notifications weren’t being received on this end. A big thank you to Jared, who patiently and painstakingly worked his way through the mystery. I did what I could on my end, both of us working together. Several changes were made, a plugin added, and finally – everything worked! I’m getting your comments, Donnamae checked to see if she got my reply and she did, so all should be back to normal.
I won’t go into all the details, partly because they’re hard to explain! But Jared was an enormous help, I could never have figured it out on my own.
Having a self-hosted blog involves expenses on my part and sometimes that can feel daunting – I just paid a chunk of money to renew for a year, as well as for security. But in times like these, being able to call my host on the phone, talk to a real person and get things fixed is so much better for me than when I was on Blogger and had some serious problems that I could never speak to anyone about. There was never an actual person to help sort things out – only a help forum where sometimes I got an answer but most of the time I did not.
So, I’m glad I made the move to WordPress and self-hosting.
The soft pink of the New Dawn rose, hidden away on the side of the house. So beautiful.
It’s been hard for me to concentrate on a book the last few days but I’m going to try to lose myself in one today. The lawn has been mowed, the weeds whacked/wacked, and some quiet time is in order.
Happy Wednesday.
Claudia, I really understand. I am so distracted right now and my mind just keeps going to places that make me sad, angry, hurt, scared. I have moments of respite but then it is right back. Today I’m going to do some house cleaning and hope that will help work out some of the anger! The roses are all so beautiful. I know Sunday will be a hard day for you and Don. Sending hugs.
Linda
I might yank some weeds for the same reason, Linda. I think it helps! That’s why we mowed the lawn like crazy on Monday. We needed a release.
agree again. while i enjoy making my place clean and cozy, puttering lets my mind unwind and loosen some worry knots. need to do more of that these days.
claudia, i hope you and your sisters have peace this father’s day and always.
kathy in iowa
Puttering is a good thing, Kathy. Thank you.
The orange man’s mouth is the most disgusting thing. I can’t believe he has gotten this far and I’m terrified to think he could get further. What is wrong with people?!?!?!
Anywho…
Your gardens are lovely. You do a great job of maintaining them.
I hope the rest of your day is pleasant.
Monica
I confess, I don’t understand some of my fellow Americans. And, I have to say, don’t really respect if they support this man.
Thanks so much, Monica.
I think quiet time is very important for everyone and we need to appreciate all the important people in our lives right now. It gets overwhelming to watch the news . there are a lot of good things happening all around us.
Yes there are. No news during the day today (or yesterday). Evening news at 6:30. But that’s it. I have been heartened by stories of all those who helped in Orlando and by a story of three men who jumped down on the subway tracks in NYC to save a man who had passed out and fallen onto the tracks – all this with a train ready to head into the station.
It is very sad and disturbing news from Orlando. I can never comprehend that level of hate. So sad.
Your roses are absolutely beautiful, Claudia.
I also meant to comment on your post from yesterday … such a wonderful post on the theater and quotes from the Tony Awards. My friend, Justin “Squigs” Robertson was at the awards. He does all the Broadway “caricature” drawings for one of the Broadway papers. He said show was especially touching.
I bet. I had friends there as well. Amazing experience and I’m so thankful for it!
Your roses are heavenly and photos, beautiful. I’m glad you mentioned Mr. Robot, too. Looking forward to the new season.
I think it starts sometime in mid-July, Shanna.
Lovely roses…I haven’t had any for awhile. The deer ate them! And I miss them…my dad helped me plant them….and showed me how to care for them many years ago. I miss him too! I’m feeling like the wind got knocked out of my sails….ever since I heard the news on Sunday. As you said…puttering helps….I pulled weeds yesterday. Enjoy your day! ;)
I just got in from pulling some weeds, Donnamae. It helped!
Yes, I’m feeling just like you and having trouble settling. Common sense, where it could do some good, has fallen victim to greed and power. I watered my morning glories this morning to get them ready for high humidity and 100 degrees today. And now, I’m off to the dentist.
I’ve never watched Mr. Robot but I’d like to see an episode with Don. Can you let us know when it will air?
I will.
‘Orange Man’ is a very apt description.
We are mentoring several students this summer at work and they have been distraught over the Orlando killings. That so many of the victims were young people has really struck a chord. We took some time after work yesterday to talk about it and one young woman’s suggestion was a ban in America on selling ammunition for automatic weapons as realistically a call to turn in all hand guns and automatic weapons would never work. How I wish the ‘powers that be’ would engage in similar discussion to find a viable solution.
I hope they are, but I doubt that Congress is. I’m very, very disillusioned.
It’s so hard to live your regular life when you have lunatics running around doing all of these vicious things. I worry so much about Tiffany and her girls. When they said he had scoped out Disneyland, I freaked out. How could ANYONE do something like that?
Father’s Day is still hard on me – both my Dad and John. Tiffany called the other day crying and said she had gone to get a card for her Dad and cried when she couldn’t buy one for John. It’s so hard.
Your roses are just beautiful. Making beautiful memories.
Love,
Judy
It will be a tough day, for me and Don. His father died about 6 years ago, mine last October. And Don was Scout’s dad, which makes it even harder.
You so got it right. I will be glad when November is well underway and Orange Man has to shut up. I am in the mood for some binge watching of something with no commercials and no violence and puttering in my sewing room. aaaahh.
Sounds good to me, Jan!
I agree. This has been a painful week. I have decided to turn my focus to nature’s beauty. Your rose photos are beautiful and much appreciated. I am not hiding my head in the sand; I am trying to replenish my soul from all the violent deeds and speech.
I understand. There’s a difference between hiding one’s head in the sand and taking time for soul restoration. Go for it, Carolyn Marie.
Father’s Day is tough once your father has passed. Hugs to everyone who has to cope. Claudia, the At Last roses are beautiful! I’m so glad they are already blooming. xxoo, Martha
They are beautiful! I have some more photos for tomorrow, Martha. Thank you again.
I’m sure you have read “The Book Thief”. Do you remember the part where Liesel is given the book (The Word Shaker) that Max had written for her? He describes Hitler…. and I had to go back and re-read it… because it is a perfect description of the Orange Man. What words can do! Most of us love words, especially readers!! But the realization of what a word crafter/ hypnotist/ can do with words is beyond chilling.
I actually haven’t read it, but it’s on my TBR list, Chris. If you can ever copy and paste it here, I’d love to read it.
THERE WAS once a strange, small man. He decided three important details about his life:
1. He would part his hair from the opposite side to everyone else.
2. He would make himself a small, strange mustache.
3. He would one day rule the world.
The young man wandered around for quite some time, thinking, planning, and figuring out exactly how to make the world his. Then one day, out of nowhere, it struck him—the perfect plan.
He’d seen a mother walking with her child. At one point, she admonished the small boy, until finally, he began to cry. Within a few minutes, she spoke very softly to him, after which he was soothed and even smiled.
The young man rushed to the woman and embraced her. “Words!” He grinned. “What?”
But there was no reply. He was already gone.
Yes, the Führer decided that he would rule the world with words. “I will never fire a gun,” he devised. “I will not have to.” Still, he was not rash. Let’s allow him at least that much. He was not a stupid man at all. His first plan of attack was to plant the words in as many areas of his homeland as possible.
He planted them day and night, and cultivated them.
He watched them grow, until eventually, great forests of words had risen throughout Germany…. It was a nation of farmed thoughts.
WHILE THE words were growing, our young Führer also planted seeds to create symbols, and these, too, were well on their way to full bloom. Now the time had come. The Führer was ready.
He invited his people toward his own glorious heart, beckoning them with his finest, ugliest words, handpicked from his forests. And the people came.
They were all placed on a conveyor belt and run through a rampant machine that gave them a lifetime in ten minutes. Words were fed into them. Time disappeared and they now Knew everything they needed to Know. They were hypnotized.
Next, they were fitted with their symbols, and everyone was happy.
Soon, the demand for the lovely ugly words and symbols increased to such a point that as the forests grew, many people were needed to maintain them. Some were employed to climb the trees and throw the words down to those below. They were then fed directly into the remainder of the Führer’s people, not to mention those who came back for more.
The people who climbed the trees were called word shakers.
THE BEST word shakers were the ones who understood the true power of words. They were the ones who could climb the highest. One such word shaker was a small, skinny girl. She was renowned as the best word shaker of her region because she Knew how powerless a person could be WITHOUT words.
Thank you. Very, very powerful and too frighteningly true of the Orange Man.
Claudia…”The Book Thief” is one of the most touching, memorable books I have ever read…Please do read it when you can…and please let us know what you think of it….
What a difficult week for the world it has been so far. I am no longer able to tune into the news as it is just so painful to see all the hatred, violence and lunacy. I hope you and Don get some rest and feel more at peace tomorrow. Your roses are beautiful! x
Thank you, Christina. It weighs on our hearts, such a sense of futility and loss.
Your daylight hours will be about half over when you get this, Claudia. Hope the morning’s tasks (weeding…) at least got you among your beautiful flowers. Sad day for many of us, this Sunday. I’m missing my husband so much recently. The years never erase the sadness, and I was too arrogant, thinking most of the grief was blunted. Nope, sharp as ever…
It did. And I took some more photos. I know this Sunday will be hard for you, Wendy. Thinking of you and sending you love.
We’re doing the opposite of ‘rest’ time today. After a lot of discussion between us yesterday, and we knew we needed to do this anyway (it’s just we all got stalled in our tracks, didn’t we), my husband and I are trying to get busy. He’s reorganizing some outdoor sheds to make room for more household contents as we plunge ahead on remodeling the kitchen. We need to try to numb our minds for a little while; slow our thoughts regarding what’s happening in our country. Our country that we love. Our country which feels in jeopardy. Trouble within our own borders. It doesn’t mean we stick our head in the sand or turn our back on awareness and vigilance…staying informed…but we need a break from headlines because they’re sinking us.
We did the busy thing on Monday. An immediate reaction to Sunday’s horror. But today, I’m pooped. I weeded, watered, went to the grocery store and now I’m going to take it easy. Take care.
Your word heartsick is still in the front of my mind. As long as I live I will never understand that level of hate or evil. It makes very sad for our civilization.
When I can’t settle down, because things are heavy on my heart or mind I go out and take photos. Many, many photos. I am so glad I don’t have to by film! I find the taking of the photos and then the editing calms me.
Except when 57 photos from last week just disappeared off my computer. And I can’t figure out to find them or do a system restore.
Healing and morning all takes time Claudia. And we all do it differently and in our own time.
I do that, too, Trudy. Photo taking is always a pleasure and it gets me out of my head and helps me to see the beauty of the natural world. I understand. I hope you can find those photos!
Those roses are absolutely stunning, Claudia. I’m particularly drawn to any flower that starts out as one color, then morphs into a different [gorgeous] shade. I like the “fooled you!” surprise element of them, I guess. Anyway, those roses are dazzling.
PS – I love your “Orange Man” moniker for Trump too. Carl Reiner, on his Twitter feed, uses “Trumpster” which I really like too. Has an appropriate “ring” to it – LOL. There’s a boatload of great Trump take-down material out there online, and I have to say it’s very heartening to see or read it. ALL the comedy shows totally have his number. Strongly recommend Bill Maher [Real Time] or John Oliver [Last Week Tonight] on HBO; The Daily Show with Trevor Noah [Comedy Channel] and Late Night with Seth Meyers [NBC]. These guys are skewering Orange Man the best and bonus – you don’t have to stay up late to see them either. All of them post videos daily or weekly on YouTube. And of course, whenever we have the opportunity, we as private citizens have to speak up against Trump. NOTHING makes me crazier than people who don’t speak up – because you KNOW those people will be the ones yelling the loudest IF Trump wins. 🇺🇸
We watch Bill Maher and John Oliver. I like Trevor Noah but I REALLY miss Jon Stewart! Oh, how we need him right now!
Claudia I am crying today because of the tragedy of the precious child who lost his life at Disney. Sometimes it seems like horrible things come in waves. My thoughts and prayers are with the family. Thank God for the first responders and other’s who work tirelessly to help the families. The rose pictures are beautiful. My Mother’s favorite flowers were yellow roses.
I can’t even read about it because it’s so horrific. Oh my god, Janie. And the parents…how can they even go on? My heart breaks for them.
First — the Tonys were amazing. I sat and fangirled like I haven’t for a while (I’m a huge Hamilton fan but have never been to see it) and cried with Lin-Manuel Miranda.
Anyway — I am curious about you having this WordPress blog on your own site… Tell me more (tell me more!) ? I have a domain name which came with space but I haven’t used it since I stopped being a published writer. And I have a computer science degree … so how did you go about it? I imagine I’d have to check with my current webhost to see if they allow WordPress to be installed on it … weren’t you going to do a series or write a booklet or offer your services about this stuff once upon a time?
Thanks — and hang in there …
There are two types of wordpress blogs: .com, which is like Blogger and hosted by WordPress.com, and .org which is self-hosted, which means you have to find a host, like Bluehost or DreamHost or many others, that can host your blog on their servers and where you can install the WordPress software and themes (where you create the style of your blog) to create – or in my case – migrate your blog. When I changed from Blogger to WordPress, I had to perform a complicated procedure (although there are plenty of people out there who will do it for you for a fee) but it all worked and I like it. I really like WordPress – which many think is more user friendly than Blogger. But then again, there are Blogger users who don’t like WordPress at all. I think you can do more with WP. I have more control over the look of my blog and there are lots of plugins you can add to give you more options. Who is your web host? And yes, I was going to offer services at one time, but I didn’t feel right charging money and I realized it wasn’t really want I wanted to do.
Thanks — my webhost apparently does — now I have to figure out how much it’ll cost and whether it’ll be cheaper to move it. My account comes up for renewal at the end of July so I have some time to figure this out.
Thank you for your post, Claudia.
I cannot articulate what I’m feeling today.
It helps to see your lovely roses.
I find that looking at flowers and birds in my birdbath and butterflies flying around the garden helps. Just being still for a moment.
I am feeling with you two…I hurt so bad hearing about people being killed almost every day…and now this poor little boy..on vacation to have fun…I can barely take hearing these things anymore..I did watch a new trailer online for Mr Robot’s second season and all I can say is WOW…it looks so exciting…even President Obama is acting in it now…Tell Don I look forward to seeing him again! Oh yeah..Mr Robot returns July 13th at 10 pm est…!
Oh, that little boy. My heart breaks. I couldn’t stop thinking about it last night when I was trying to go to sleep.
Don had a good time yesterday – a scene with his daughter – an argument.