I woke up yesterday morning feeling blue. I didn’t feel like talking very much. I was very quiet. I wasn’t motivated to do anything but read. And all day long it continued until the late evening.
Sometimes you just feel blue. There isn’t always an obvious reason for that sad, quiet, keep-to-oneself sort of feeling that can shape an entire day. You can try to snap out of it, of course. You can try your best to be sunny and bright and energetic. But I am convinced that we all need days like that; days where you can’t necessarily explain why you feel this way, all you can say is that you do feel this way.
I try not to back away from my blue days. I try to remain open to that mood change. I try to embrace the slower pace, the quieter day, the sometimes unsettling feelings that are evoked. It is what it is. And while I certainly know there are people that suffer from a kind of depression that is all-enveloping, even crippling, and often require some kind of medication, the occasional ‘down’ day is entirely different thing.
The occasional blue day is a sort of rest for the weary. A day to be a bit more introspective than usual. A day to think and ponder and be still.
There is an element of mystery in a blue day. It isn’t always easily explained. But after some thought, I had an idea about what might have contributed to that blue feeling. It was a predominately gray day, with periods of sunshine, the heat was on, there was a sense, to me, of winter’s impending visit. Despite my attempts to protect it, my garden had officially died that morning and all my flowers were brown or black or wilted.
Flowers, plants, green growth – they were disappearing, saying goodbye. Their season was over. I saw a Monarch butterfly about five days ago and last night I found myself wondering where he was now. Was he flying to Mexico? Was he already on his way south? Have the Canadian Geese left for good?
No more flowers for the bees, for the butterflies. All gone.
And it was, as it often is, rather abrupt. One day flowers, the next – none.
I am passionate about gardening, about growing things, about seeing my gardens all around me. They fill me with joy. Coming to this inevitable point of the year means that all of that is over for a long while. It means shorter days. It means winter is on its way and I find that I like winter less and less the older I get. I need light and flowers.
So there you have it. I needed that blue day to come to terms with a seasonal change that I have no way of stopping. I have to allow myself a period of mourning. Mourning will give way to acceptance. All is well.
Happy Monday.
Ah yes, I know the feeling. Giving it up to Mercury retrogrades or something. Hope you make the best out of the day anyway. Dunkirk spirit and carrying on. (hugs)
Things are much better today, Veronica.
It’s not so much winter that I dislike, it’s the time change! I am dreading this weekend….give me the light! :) Spending a Sunday reading a book and keeping quiet is a great way to recharge your batteries! xoxo
Oh, I’m dreading that darned time change, Debbie.
To my thinking, the loss of a garden and the coming of Winter is as good a reason as any, and maybe better, for Feeling Blue. You’re right too, Claudia. We DO need these times – they’re like palate cleansers for Life. I know it’s almost anti-American to say it aloud but sometimes I actually like/look forward to RAINY days. If we don’t have Dull, Gray and Wet sometimes, how can we truly appreciate Sparkling, Blue and Breezy? However, I still hope your current palate cleanser is small and quickly-digested. :>)
Love the idea of a ‘palate cleanser’ Janet!
Many times I call them my contemplative days where I roll back up into my cocoon of pink and let myself be with myself. I tend to read lots on these days and get lost in old movies from the 30s. My mind and body need these days so I never try to get around them but, like you, just go with them.
My garden has not had a freeze or hard frost yet…surprising to me. But we are due tonight and all will be gone. I welcome it as I turn inward and away from the garden. Planning for next year, and seed starting indoors under grow lights will help me keep a bit of it going now.
The one thing I didn’t think to do yesterday was watch an old movie. And I really love them.
Like you I have those blue days. However, I feel like I have to shake them off. Debilitating Depression and I were good friends. I am always on the alert to the possibility of it creeping back in. I feel the need to remain vigilant. My husband didn’t deal with his depression and hasn’t left home in 10 years, and now can not. he can go into the yard, but must always have the house in sight.
I have SAD in the dark winter months and use mega doses of vitamin D3.
I wish almost that I could have he occasional blue day with out the fear of what it might be bringing with it.
It’s an entirely different matter when one has dealt with clinical or debilitating depression. Unfortunately, that kind of illness requires one to be on the lookout for any signs of it returning.
I know that Don suffers from SAD and I think I have a twinge of it, too. xo
Come to Florida, we have flowers and butterflies and me!
hugs to you and don’t stay blue,
Mere
Love to you, sister.
I relate all too well to what you are describing. For me, it is definitely related to the change in temperature and the shorter daylight hours. My husband asked if I wanted to take a run to the store the other night at 8-ish. Normally I’d say, “Sure.” Instead I said, “No, it’s dark and it’s cold. I’d rather stay here.” I haven’t done my daily evening cemetery walk for the past 4 days because I hate how cold it has become at dusk, my favorite time to walk. I’m already dreading when the clocks get pushed ahead an hour and it will be dark an hour earlier. I know I’ll get used to it, but when the colder weather and darker days first arrive, it throws me into a temporary downward spiral.
Donna
Donna
Me too, my friend. I totally understand. xoxo
There are people like me and you the rests and feel better the next day and people that run to the Dr. For a pill that may make them feel worse
It’s a tricky balance, Barbara – but many people do indeed need medication. I have friends who suffer from clinical depression – that can be frightening and potentially life-threatening.
But I agree, it’s all too easy to take a pill when we might be served well by letting the mood be what it is.
Claudia thanks for sharing this post. I too have ‘Blue’ days and often wonder why? Then like you decided it didn’t matter, they just are. I rest, read and let myself just be and usually the next day I am feeling bright and happy again.
Same thing here. Today, all is well.
I think the time of the year has alot to do with feeling blue! Seems like when Fall is beginning to fade and I know winter is just around the corner, I always have that sad feeling. Same thing after the holidays. Just a let down feeling.
But, there’s always something to look forward to and the next day is always better.
Judy
I agree, Judy.
I know what you mean! I also go through that at this time of year. I do have to watch though that it doesn’t become more then a day or so of blues.
Last week it was a suicide in the family and then a killing frost, so it was a hard week. But I am feeling better now. Bright blue skies today helped.
Bright blue skies here today, also, Teresa. What a difference that can make!
Yes, I blame that time change too! Itis sad when the days are so short and that is not helped by the change in the weather too from a mild autumn to winter…
Keep warm and start knitting…
Penny
x
I think it will be hand quilting, Penny. I just need to get motivated!
Yes, I know that feeling. It’s worse for me in the wintertime. The long, long nights we have up north with only about 7 hours of daylight. Quite a contrast to the summers when we only have about 6 hours of darkness. I struggle with it all winter, but not terribly bad. I try to keep myself active and busy and that helps. An occasional day of introspection and quiet is nice though.
Blessings,
Betsy
Yes it is, Betsy!
We had two nights of a hard freeze and believe it or not, some of the russian sage is still chugging away. The sweet allyssum ( spelling ? ) just never paid attention to the frost and kept on blooming ( that stuff is SO hardy! ) and one zinnia came into bud / bloom yesterday while most are dead, of course. A stray little sunflower bloom hung on. The Cleome hung for 3 days but gave up the ghost by this morning. My front porch is up off the ground so the marigolds and violets there are still hanging on! :)
I get blues when it is dark and dreary outside. Then again the house looks cleaner then too :)
Claudia go get yourself a pumpkin and carve it and roast seeds and while you are out, see if they are selling amarylis bulbs yet to grow indoors! :) I usually start one or two around Christmas and then after all the color and cheer of Christmas is over I have them for fun but I think if they have them out soon I’ll start earllier! :) Just an idea :) I am starting some flower applique this year too, to grow some flowers indoors. Not very good at it but I think of it as my indoor garden. Once I am done with it, I’ll be better at applique and I’ll have had some fun as well, I hope : )
My roses seem to be hanging on, but I’m looking at them through the den window. It may be another story when I see them up close.
My blue days seem to be lasting longer than a day. Maybe the season change has something to do with it. I know I need more sleep in the winter than in the summer, must be the hibernation mode. Hope you are doing well today. Will talk soon:) XO
Hang in there, my friend. xo
It’s funny you should post about this today. I’ve been feeling this way for several days now, and it’s totally not like me to feel sad and down at the beginning of my day. Maybe it is the weather change, which for us I’m enjoying out here in So Cal.
I think a change of seasons, especially when we’re moving in to fall and winter can definitely cause us to feel a bit blue.
Beautiful post Claudia. I’m glad you listened to your body and your emotions and let yourself have a day to be still.
I hope this will give you a little laugh …. the Canadian Geese in our region keep flying north!! We’ve had a skiff of snow and that’s it so far. They seem confused. They are loud, buzzing over my house and then they head north. Maybe they lost their GPS ….
Maybe it’s a sign we’ll have a brown winter this year!!
Hmmm…I wonder what’s happening with them. Global warming? Maybe they know it’s getting warmer to our north!
We all have those days…I just never gave them a title. Do you remember that Karen Carpenter song…Rainy Days and Mondays? I have those days…sort of a veg out in a comfy chair, and get lost in a book, or a good movie. And, come to think of it, I don’t talk much, guess that’s when I realize I’m in a funk. Autumn is such a beautiful time of the year, and yet can be so devastating! I guess that’s why I have so many houseplants to take care of now…it still allows me to be a nurturer. Hope the rest of your week is better for you! ;)
I love that song, it’s so beautiful and it really evokes what I’m speaking of.
Even here in Florida there is a change that occurs that lets you know winter is approaching. My pear tree is just about leafless, and the Golden Raintrees are dropping all their orange pods. The temperatures have been in the low 50’s at night, and we know the low 40’s are only a month or two away. We occasionally even get a hard freeze before Christmas. It’s dark now by 7:00 p.m. I think that ‘blueness’ affects everyone to some degree, but those of us who are very attuned to nature seem to feel it more. I’m coddling my potted Buddelias, because your Monarchs might just stop by my yard on their way to Mexico!
I agree. It you’re out in nature a lot, whether planting or reaping or just observing, you can see the changes. When we lived in Southern California, we could see the changes, as well, though they were subtle.
May those cosy and warmly lit corners reach out to you enticingly if you are feeling cloudy,Claudia. The new desk nook is looking pretty inviting although a comfortable chair to curl up in is perhaps just the thing. Lighting candles is,for me, a way to welcome and embrace the moody seasonal atmosphere .
As funny as this may sound, this post actually just made me smile because I was feeling the same way today! It is gray and cold and just so blah…I couldn’t get out of bed this morning. It was dark and cold and my bed so comfy and warm. I stayed in bed an hour after I woke up, just drifting in and out of sleep. I didn’t do anything except read blogs, email, and a magazine until after lunchtime, and then I did kind of get my butt in gear. I made the bed, made a tuna pasta salad, got dinner going, cleaned out cat boxes. Now we’re cleaned up from dinner and I’m working on an apple crisp.
Such an insightful post, Claudia! Makes me look at a blue day in a new way. I enjoy winter and the cozy feeling I get, but tend to not get out as much and hibernate. That’s not always a good thing, and I need to work at not isolating myself! If I have too many down days, it’s usually my thyroid telling me it needs a boost. Hope you are feeling better…xo
I agree 100%.
It’s time to crochet and make soup, and bake bread. Oh, and forget the pj days!!
Love,
S
xo
Sometimes I feel like I am slipping away into nothingness. I’m still here – the days always get better and brighter.
I hope you are feeling better today!
Glad you posted about feeling blue. And I’m glad to see the comments others left, too. It’s a part of life, feelings of all sorts. Today everyone wants to pop a pill and stay upbeat and cheery. I think you need a blue day now and then, to sorta let your battery run down, then recharge it. I know there’s a need for medication for some folks, I’m just saying a blue day is needed for some of us, too.