They’re all over the property, these beautiful wild roses, which just a month or so ago I was cutting down because they are also known as pesky brambles. And they’re a pain in the tush. But for a few weeks every June, they bloom and there are clouds of sweet scented white flowers everywhere.
Here they are flanking the path to one of our crabapple trees, just off the secret garden. I wish they bloomed all summer long.
The second day of the first rose to bloom. So lovely.
Soon to be gone poppies.
Opening any day now. About a week later than usual – the first time that’s happened in the 12 years we’ve lived here.
On the porch.
The tragic suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain this week are deeply shocking and very sad. Despite money, fame and all the things that we on the outside think must make for a perfect life, we never truly know the battles that are being waged in private. For anyone. I’ve lost more than a few friends to suicide. It’s heartbreaking and seemingly senseless to those who are left behind. “But she had a child!” “He had an amazing job and life!” “But he/she was rich!” “How could you leave a child behind?”
It’s a tragic permanent solution for the person who, in that one moment in time, can see no other solution to the pain that rages within. When nothing matters but relief.
Remember to be kind. To reach out with a smile. To never assume you know what someone’s life is like.
If the only thing we lived by was kindness, this world would be a better place. It wouldn’t solve everything. It wouldn’t magically erase mental illness. But it would go a long way toward making the world a gentler place to live in.
Happy Friday.
It really is sad. I think the scariest part is not realizing that someone you know of love can feel so hopeless and lost.
Thank you for the lovely pictures. The apricot colored rose is beautiful.
I hope you have a wonderful day.
Thank you, Debbie.
oh, dear … didn’t know about anthony bourdain, too …. very sad for people who feel that suicide is their only solution. may they receive the help and relief they need here on earth.
agree about the importance of kindness. to paraphrase one of God’s commandments and to quote the suburbs (great band from minneapolis in the 1980s), “love is the law” and i want to abide by it. wish the whole world would, too, and am grateful for those that do.
peace to all …
kathy in iowa
ps: thanks for the flower photos, especially the one of the hot pink (?) peonies. that belongs on the cover of a magazine or seed catalog.
Thank you Kathy. I like that – “Love is the Law.”
It’s somehow comforting that, with all of the sadness and cloudy skies and hurt in the world, there are still roses and peony buds—with ants, merrily going about their business. Beautiful shots of these.
I find it enormously comforting. And we need it, don’t we?
Claudia, Thank you for reminding us about the fraigility of life…whether flowers that bloom for only a few days or people who are in such pain that they don’t know any other way out. Thank you for reminding us to be kinder and gentler.
You’re welcome, Wendy.
Thank-you for your sensitive images and words and your kindness Claudia.
You’re welcome, Grace.
Amen, dear friend.
xoxo
and to quote the wonderful Dalai Lama … “kindness is my religion.”
it is just that simple.
but mankind needs rituals and rules and real estate. when it’s really all about love.
if it were just the golden rule (because who does NOT want to be understood?
and treated well?) oh how it could change the world!
It is that simple. xo
I can’t afford any kind of designer duds but I ‘follow’ couture fashion like a disease; I love it; I read about it; I even print out stuff I covet from fashion week. So, when I read about Kate Spade, I felt sick. Now, with the absolutely shocking news, first thing when going online this a.m., about Anthony Bourdain, I’m not just sick, I’m weeping. In both cases, young children left behind, too. Same as Chris Cornell from Soundgarden not all that long ago. The list grows too long.
Your words are so profound, Claudia. Unless a person hasn’t individually/personally suffered from clinical depression, it’s difficult to understand the depth of that pain. Too many instances after you get to be my age, of people known who have been altered lifelong by someone close to them who took their own life. And the ones I knew who died, were among the best of the best people you could have ever wanted to know. It’s such tragedy. So, so, so sad.
It’s heartbreaking, Vicki.
I remember my father, in the worst of his depression, sitting in his chair late at night and telling me he wanted to die. I was in high school. Thankfully, he didn’t take his life. But I think he was awfully close to it.
Oh, Claudia; I can’t imagine. To be a teen and hear your parent say something like that, when you need them to be a positive authority figure for you, strong like a tree; steady as a rock. How awful. Like the rug pulled out from underneath you. Bewildering to a growing young person.
I worked with a woman who was my mother’s age. At the time, this lady was probably age 55. Small office. Lots of quiet conversation amid the work. It would come up rather often about her father, clearly adored/idolized from how she remembered him as a child. During the Great Depression, when times were so hard in the 1930s and men were out of work, he went into a wide field and took his life with a gun to the head, leaving her and her mother behind. My co-worker could not speak of him, even in happy memory, without eyes welling up, voice quivering; I would feel so sorry for her although, at the time, just in my early 20s, I couldn’t relate the way I could now; just never knew what to say to her. For those who remain, like her, lasting scars.
Yesterday, when I went online and saw those headlines about Bourdain, I know that I screamed, loud. I think I shouted “OMG” three times, calling for my husband. And I’m ‘nobody’ out here so, like my husband said, think of the TV crews he’d worked with for so long, all the many people whose paths he crossed all over the world; of course, without even saying and as mentioned, his family & friends. People just can’t let go of this; he’s all over the news; it’s a ‘group’ grieving. Public figures we feel like we know although, of course, we don’t.
Sudden death of any kind is always so shocking. And then all we can do is just try to understand and piece together anything to try to make sense of it. But clinical depression is such a serious, dangerous illness. Of course in your case, I know you’d said your father also suffered from alcoholism…so, imagine his torment; the double demon. I’m so sorry you had to have this growing up; kudos to your ability as an adult to find the sun, as you are now, Claudia. Hugs.
My dad had a troubled life. I always knew I was loved – that wasn’t in question. But during my growing up years – and those of my late brother and my sisters – he wasn’t always strong or steady. He wanted to be, but he was so troubled that it obscured everything else. He was always there for us but there were complications. He was known as the guy that everyone could count on – neighbors, extended family, etc. And they could. He was there for them. He was there for us, but we saw much more, of course.
Thankfully, the father I came to know as I got older, the one who took an early retirement and retired to a small town with my mom, was much calmer. Much happier. Much more at peace. That’s the dad I want to remember. He was a very, very good man, a kind and compassionate man, but he went off to war at the age of 18 and it changed him forever.
I miss him every day.
I can’t imagine what your coworker went through. Having been there for friends who lost parents or siblings to suicide, I know how helpless everyone feels. It’s truly tragic.
It’s good you’ve put together the better memories, and it has to be good peace in your heart to know as he aged, your dad got better instead of worse.
He became the person he truly was.
The wild roses in the photo are now considered an invasive species in the US… Rosa multiflora (common name is multiflora rose).
Rosa multiflora was introduced to the US from Asia in the late 1700s as a soil conservation measure (to control erosion), and has been used as a natural hedge for grazing land. It’s considered excellent fodder for goats.
Their scent is heavenly in the spring, and the thickets attract wildlife and serve as home for many small animals. I know it can be a pest and hard to control, but I love it! :)
They’re certainly invasive here. There is no way, short of bulldozing, to keep them under control. And most of the year, they drive me crazy! But goodness, they’re beautiful when they bloom! I’m always careful about how much I cut back because I know that animals have made homes there. Birds, too.
Achingly lovely comment about suicide and using kindness to reach out.
Thank you, Tina. I hope all is well.
Oh boy, I didn’t know about Anthony Bourdain too. Suicide is so hard. My Dad committed suicide when I was 27 years old (I am now 46). It has gotten easier as time goes on but the question of WHY is always there. It’s very difficult to live with. My heart goes out to both families as I know all too well what they are going through.
On a lighter note Claudia, your gardens are looking lovely! Such pretty blooms.
to mamey …
I am sorry for the losses and that unanswered question you’ve had to deal with. i wish and pray for your peace …
kathy in iowa
I am so sorry, Mamey. Living with the question of why is painfully hard for those who are left behind. And I don’t know if there’s ever an adequate answer. Much love to you.
Claudia,
All I can say is Amen to your last paragraph about kindness.
Betsy
P.S. I also have a love-hate relationship with wild roses. If only their thorns were smaller!
Yes! I can’t even estimate how many times I’ve been gashed by those thorns!
Claudia, It so pretty around your house with all the beautiful flowers. I know you are enjoying them.
The suicide deaths are so very sad. We never know how another truly feels in the hearts and minds. Where children are involved, I wish they could have just signed in a hospital for help…too much for young children too. Blessings, xoxo, Susie
My heart aches for the children – so vulnerable and so heartbroken.
Hi Claudia!
Thanks for sharing so beautiful photos
Britt
You’re welcome, Britt!
What a tragedy. It is heartbreaking to think how sad and unhappy these talented people must have been. May they rest in peace. Condolences to the families.
Marilyn
Yes. So hard to imagine how painful life must have been for them.
I have read that suicides are up in this country by 25-30% since 1999. That is so alarming to me. Mental Health issues are so prevalent…I fight depression myself. Your words are poignant and so true!
PS The Honda is purring like a new girl today after all the work was done!!
I think, as I’ve grown older, that I fight depression as well. Mild, but it’s there. I’ve really noticed it this year.
So glad to hear about the Honda!
Hi Claudia, geez, I’m so sorry to hear Margaritaville was cancelled. Dang. Rotten deal. And to read that it was critics who stabbed it to death is just deeply horrible. To be honest, most things the critics recommend I usually detest and the things they don’t like are usually pretty good. I’m so glad there Mere got to see it and meet Jimmy and spend that time with you and Don. And then the loss of Anthony Bourdain threw me for a terrible loop. We just watched his latest episode in Hong Kong last night and I’m heartbroken at his loss. We literally loved watching his shows.. like the one with Barack Obama. ::sigh:: And of course I know you’re feeling the same as I am about the looney tunes going on with the 45 gang of goons. Buggers. Sending good thoughts for you and Don… Teresa
I never read reviews, so it makes me doubly upset that others do and that the reviewers have that awful power. If I ever meet the NY Time review in person, he will get an earful. (I hope I do.)
Having Mere here was the best thing that could have happened to us. I love her dearly (as does Don) and we absolutely loved and NEEDED her presence.
I enjoy your blog so much. Been a reader for several months
In fact I have gone back to 2008 to read your posts.
July,2008. A great tribute to your mom on her birthday.
What a wonderful lady
Oh, thank you so much, Marcia!
Sweet words!
Thank you, Lyndia!
Claudia, a bit of good news amongst all the sadness. I found out this morning Monty Don has been awarded an OBE in the Queen’s birthday honours list. (Order of the British Empire) It’s an huge honour and he’s thrilled to bits. Considering how bad his stroke was and his ongoing depression I think he’s an inspiration! Blessings
Oh, wonderful news! I’m so thrilled for him! Thanks for letting me know, Lesley.
Beautiful photos and profound thoughts.
Makes you stop and think about those around us.
It’s hard to imagine what they are thinking or feeling, but it is so important to try and be open and available no matter the situation. Very heartbreaking.
Absolutely. We must be there and be present for those who might need us. Thanks, Audrey.
Your photos are refreshing perfection.
Especially like the path and it’s roses.
Thank you, Joan!