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11-21 newbornclaudia

Newborn Claudia.

I found this photo at my parents’ house. That’s my brother, Dave, on the left. God, he was a beautiful child. Simply beautiful.

Things I love about this photo: the cowboy gun belt my brother is wearing, my dad’s bow tie, the lamp, and that barkcloth used for the curtains and the pillows. I have a remnant here that looks an awful lot like this print. Mom looks beautiful, but tired, doesn’t she?

I was very sick when I was born. I turned blue and had something called infant diarrhea. So, though I was born on the 21st, I didn’t come home until Thanksgiving Day. For years, my dad would utter thanks for my homecoming during our Thanksgiving blessing.

All three of these loved ones are gone.

Obviously, this day is bittersweet. I’m trying my best to be happy, but I have to tell you, I’m mostly sad. And I think that’s to be expected. I just lost my dad three weeks ago. I’m still mourning the loss of my mom eighteen months ago.

Anyway. Happy Birthday to me!

I think it will be a low-key day, spent with my husband and doggie.

On the business side of things, I’ve listed a new Obsession Scarf on Etsy. It’s the chunkier version of the yarn I’ve been using, so it’s a bit wider and just a bit shorter in length – though the length of all of the scarves varies according to the particular skein I’m working from. It’s in a gorgeous gradient called Into The Woods. Beautiful.

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Happy Saturday.

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Comments

  1. Birthday wishes to you, dear Claudia! Remember how many of us are thankful for you and your stories. Enjoy your memories and look forward to each new day.

  2. Hi Claudia,
    It’s 6am here and you birthday post just popped up. Have a very Happy Birthday! Quiet, low-key celebrations are often more meaningful than a huge to-do. Hope your weekend is glorious. Enjoy!
    Lynn

  3. Big hugs to you on your birthday, Claudia. I love your stories and your dad’s giving thanks for your homecoming each Thanksgiving is a lovely memory. A glimpse of his heart for you. Your blog is one of the first things I pull up to read each morning. Thank you for always being here. Enjoy your day with Don.

  8. Hi Claudia, I learned about you birthday from Meredith’s blog, as your blog has yet to reach my e-mail. I know it will be a difficult day for you, but I do wish you a loving and serene birthday. Blessings my friend Lesley UK

  9. Dear Claudia
    Happy birthday! I hope this day may bring you all the peace and quietness you need.I also lost my mother this past May just twenty days before my birthday and I must confess it wasn´t a happy and easy day for me´,so I understand how you must be feeling yourself.But let me suggest you something.Drink a cup of your best coffee treat yourself to something yummy, embrace your husband and above all look intoScout ‘s sweet eyes and I´m sure this will make you find a reason to smile at least for a moment! true love from our loved ones can really mend a broken heart.A big hug to you!
    Alicia Buenos A ires

    • Thank you, Alicia. And thank you for your advice – I just looked in my little girl’s eyes and I’ll do it often today.

  10. Happy Birthday Claudia. The family photo is really lovely and worthy of framing, if you haven’t already done so. The barkcloth is fabulous! Today is a day of treats for you, as Don and Scout will lovingly provide. Your parents must have been terrifically proud of you and you are well loved.

    • It’s a really tiny photo – wallet sized. But I’ll tuck it in some place where I can see it. Thank you, Dana.

  11. Happy Birthday dear friend. I hope you can feel the love from so many friends coming your way and the hope that you have a good day. Let the memories flow over you and rejoice that you have so many. It’s also a time to mourn. Sending much love on this day and always.

    Linda

  12. A blessed birthday for you Claudia!
    On your way through the ever changing landscape, you scatter so many twinkling stars! May you celebrate with that Light and Love today! May they shine brightly for you today!

  13. Happy birthday! I understand your sadness. Birthdays and Christmas for me are the hardest days to get through after the loss of my parents. It’s like all the sparkle and joy are missing. Thinking of you on this day your parents celebrated with you. I can see their happiness in the picture you posted.

  14. happy birthday to you!
    happy birthday to you!
    happy birthday, dear claudia!
    happy birthday to you!

    (it’s a gift, truly, that you cannot hear my scratchy, way-off-key singing. ha.)

    i know this is a bittersweet day for you. may you hold tight to happy memories, hope and to God’s promises … and spend this day only doing things that you enjoy.

    kathy

  15. Happy Birthday, Claudia. Wishing you a peaceful day. Your Mom and Dad will always be in your heart.

    Great picture, love the bark cloth. As I glanced over to your picture on the side bar I could see your Mom in you.

    It’s my birthday, also. I plan to spend a quiet evening with close family.

    Take care,
    Mary

    • Happy Birthday to you, Mary! Have a wonderful day, my friend. November 21st is a special day. Thank you!

  19. Happy Birthday Claudia. I’m sorry for all your losses, but I’m happy you have so many people (and one sweet dog) who love you; Don, Scout, Meredith, Little Z and Max, and all of us here in blogland.

  20. Happy Birthday! Been there and done that with going through the loss of parents, its hard, but with time you adjust, change and the bitter fades a bit. You look like your Mom. Love the picture. Those pictures are so precious.

  22. Happy Birthday! May the coming year bring you peace in many areas. I think peace and joy are what I wish for you.

  23. Beautiful picture! Holidays, birthdays, become bittersweet. Enjoy the day as best you can. Be glad you don’t have to shovel….we got almost 6 inches…it’s gorgeous! Happy Birthday Claudia!

  24. Having lost our father last month, and our mother 2 years ago, I am feeling many of the same feelings, Claudia. I often tell myself that the hurt is the price we pay for having the chance to love them so long and deeply. Better to have loved and lost…
    In any case enjoy the peace you have on your birthday.
    Gail

    • I’m so sorry about the loss of your father, Gail. I remember when your mother died. It’s hard, but you’re right. Loving someone as deeply as we do our parents means that the loss will be especially hard.

  25. HaPpY, HaPpY birthday dear Claudia!!! I hope you have a wonderful day with Don and Scout and that you are reminded of the happy and good things in your life all throughout the day. I think you look a LOT like your Mom. :-)
    Blessings,
    Betsy

  26. Happy Birthday, Claudia! I’m sure it is bittersweet, but hope you can treat yourself with something to make it special , enjoying your home, Don, and Scout. Love the photo of your family and you certainly resemble your mom. One of the things I love about old photos like this is the background depicting the home decorating popular in that era and also the clothing and hairstyles.

  27. Dear Claudia, I hope you have the happiest birthday possible for you at this time. I probably already wrote it, because it’s one of my favorite Dr Seuss lines of all time, but it bears repeating too. “Don’t cry because it’s over, SMILE – because it happened…” Have a great day with Don and Scoutie. ?

  30. Thinking of you on your birthday…

    I have low-key birthday celebrations, too. My sister comes to town. We eat out and catch up on what’s going on.

  32. I am wishing you a Happy Birthday on this bittersweet day. Your family photo is beautiful, a most wonderful memory. I have come for a visit via Meredith’s blog, where I feel very much at home and I’ll be back. x

  33. What a wonderful picture, Claudia!! And aren’t you glad you found it… the drapes and throw pillow are wonderful. Do you think your Mom would have made them, or purchased them? I love looking at every single detail in these old pictures of when we were wee ones. All the books!! And your Mom does look tired. But she has an infant on her lap, and with that sweet grin on your bother’s face ~ I can understand why she just might be a bit exhausted! ?
    Happy Birthday! I wish I could tell you that it gets easier. It gets more comfortable, perhaps, and more do-able, but really not easier on days such as this. ?

    • Mom wouldn’t have made them – she didn’t know how to sew then. Maybe my grandmother made them? Not sure.
      Thank you, Chris!

  34. Happy birthday Claudia from one November birthday girl to another! I was born on Thaksgiving Day but this year it falls on Black Friday. May your day be a day of treats and treasures!

    I love the picture and thank you for sharing it with us all. I too am a lover of bark cloth! I’m sorry that this will be a hard day for you. My dad passed away 22 years ago on the Monday before Father’s Day. I found that the first of everything was often a struggle after he was gone. I will say that it might not get easier as time goes on but the loss is less raw.

    Birthday blessings to you!

  35. Happy Birthday, Claudia!

    Your mom and your dad would want you to celebrate this day; one of the happiest days of their lives…the arrival of their baby girl. Think of their joy! You came into the world enveloped in love.

    I enjoyed your family photo; thank you for sharing it. It’s fun to see furnishings and accoutrements from the 40s and 50s (and, no surprise, look at all the books in your house!!).

    There was a rose-on-brown floral fabric that designer Rachel Ashwell came out with (her cheaper line at Target), oh, about a decade ago maybe(?) and, at the time (and I still have it), I bought a lot of it…curtains are the first which come to mind. I’d seen the splashy floral curtains in my parents’ photos from that aforementioned era (I guess this is all in the similar timeframe/years and this must have been trending decor?); I love the stuff! I’m not usually into the color of ‘brown’ but these were so vintage-pretty.

    How did your weather turn out today? I skipped over a headline that said something about Midwest snow. We’re in the 80s and it’s blowing a gale with Santa Ana-style winds here in SoCalif. We had to have ‘tree men’ come yesterday and re-stake/secure our youngest trees planted last year. Turned out to be a big project; what a lot of hard work for them in near-90s afternoon heat. But my golden medallion, cherimoya and jacaranda trees are now safe for wind and hopefully-coming El Nino rain.

    If you can get out today, I think you should indulge in a big, beautiful box…of cupcakes!!!

    • It is sunny today – a bit cold, but lovely. We didn’t get any of the snow.

      I’m hoping my husband bought some cupcakes…we’ll see. Thank you, Vicki!

  36. Definitely a bittersweet day for you. Love the photo. You look so much like your mom. I will wish you a happy birthday though, because I am glad you are here with us to share your life.

  39. Wishing you love and peace on your birthday Claudia. I have read your blog for many months now and feel I know you. I too have lost both my parents in the last few years and feel your pain. I have found that the void they leave is gradually filled with beautiful memories, such as you shared with your photo, and a grateful heart.

  43. Happy Birthday, dear Claudia. What a sweet picture! You were a beautiful baby and you look so much like your mother. I do hope you have many, many more birthdays. Happy birthday again!

  44. Happy Birthday Dear Claudia. Grieving sneaks into our days and nights when we least expect. Right now I find myself talking to my Dad, telling him what I am thinking, shedding tears sometimes. After so many years of having Dad close by and doing my best to follow his wishes I find empty spaces in my own time/thoughts/life. What I didn’t expect was how much I am missing knowing I could go over and visit him, give him a hug, ask him what he would like (or haul up things I know he needed/wanted). Truly I am so grateful that we (his children) were able to follow his wishes and were able to take care of all the details of downsizing before his last months. So good that Don and Scout and Meredith and Little Buddy are in your family.

    • It’s wonderful and beautiful that you were able to take care of your dad and that he was able to have things the way he wanted in his last days, Joy. I feel the same way about our dad. He didn’t have to move into assisted living (which he was adamantly against) he was sharp up until the end and he was able to stay in the condo. I miss him a lot.

      Thank you for the birthday wishes!

  45. Happy birthday dearest Claudia, my mother passed away 7 years ago just before Christmas day. Now on my birthday I say ” Thank you so much Mom for bringing me into this world and loving me for 42 years” Sweet wishes and dreams on your birthday filled with love, cupcakes and hugs♥

  49. Dear Claudia, I celebrate you on this day and how you and your blog have brought such sunshine to many of my days! Hope you had a beautiful birthday!

  51. So sorry I am late Claudia…Busy busy day getting things ready for company on Thanksgiving…What a treasure that picture is…Brother Davy was cute as a bug…isn’t it funny how so many of us ladies are admiring the bark-cloth drapes and pillow…I have a beautiful piece here that would make a pretty pillow…I hope you had a nice day..I’m sure Don and Scout gave you lots of hugs and love…Happy Birthday Claudia!

  52. Claudia! I almost missed your Birthday! I found out about it from Meridith’s blog yesterday. At least I remembered in time, just barely! Happy Birthday!!!

  53. Hello Claudia, Almost missed your birthday…. Have been sending you some hugs and positive thoughts every day. My sister and I several years ago lost our father, and realized suddenly we were middle age orphans! The awareness brought us to more tears , but somehow we managed to smile with many silly memories much later. Grieving is so difficult but part of healing the heart. Thank you for sharing with so many….. Wishing you an easier happier year ahead.

  55. I hope your birthday was happy. I share a November birthday also on the 15th and my daddy on the 14th who passed in a horrible accident 14 years ago. Even after all these years I miss our special time together on either day when we would go out for dinner. So I do know how bittersweet the day can be for you. Some years I go through all the birthday cards from him that I saved through the years and others I read the obit from the paper. Still have a hard time processing those days but I do know that he would want me to celebrate and remember him, so I do the best I can. My mother is 92 and still is in good health so for that I am grateful.

    I enjoy reading your posts and seeing your life with Scout and Don. I have a few blogs I follow but yours is one I really look forward to following. Our memories of the past and the happiness we shared with those now gone are treasures we can pull up whenever we miss them and pictures are a blessing.

  56. What a wonderful photo! I have not seen it before. Hard to believe they had two more babies. Of course, I only remember Meredith as a baby.

    Have a good birthday.

  57. Belated Happy Birthday Claudia. I understand your feelings of sadness, my own Daddy died four weeks to the day before my birthday. It’s hard, I know. I suspect that Thanksgiving and Christmas will be hard for you as well. Your brother was adorable. Such a loss. There is not much that I can say to comfort you right now. Healing will happen in it’s own time. Just know that you are loved and admired by many and that we will always gather around you to give you support.

    Big Texas Hugs,
    Susan and Bentley

  58. You look just like your beautiful mom! And she is happy that you are having another birthday and so is your dad! Happy Belated if I missed it. I’m behind on my emails and trying to get caught up.

  59. Happy Belated Birthday, Claudia!!! When I saw your Mother, I saw you!! You are both beautiful women! So, I know you were sad during your day, but it was a happy day, too, with your Husband and your girl!!

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