You can see all the wild asters that have sprung up next to the garden. The burning bush is turning red. I quickly snapped this picture just a minute or so ago. It’s definitely Fall. Leaves are on the ground everywhere. Normally, this change would leave me feeling more melancholy – I love summer and I dread the onset of winter – but I’m so busy right now that I just acknowledge what I see outside and move on.

I did some zoom coaching yesterday and I will do more on Thursday and Friday. I sent in all my receipts and my bill to the company producing the tour of Anastasia. Today, I’m going to do some cleaning around the house and start making lists for what needs to be done around here before I leave for NYC and what I need to pack and the many things that I do on a daily basis that I need to explain to Don. It’s just a little over two weeks before filming begins. How did the time go by so quickly?

I feel like I’m constantly making lists in my head and I’m also worrying about a possible strike by IATSE, the International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees. This action doesn’t concern the theater, but it does address TV and film. They voted to strike for the first time in their history because of impossible working conditions on film sets – 15 hour days, not enough breaks, larger contributions to health and pension plans, and residuals for content aired on streaming services. They are absolutely in the right. They are on the set far longer than the actors, director, or people like me. They’re in a good negotiating position because film is getting off the ground after a long hiatus and no one wants to lose more money. Nevertheless, we are supposed to be starting this film in a few weeks, so this impacts whether I work or not on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

There’s too much going on in my head and, as you know, I’ve been a worrier since I was a child. I well remember lying awake at night, worrying about school, or gym class, or math, or what happens to us when we die, or why do we die?

Deep breath.

Okay.

Stay safe.

Happy Wednesday.

Today is the day I get my PCR test and let’s all cross our fingers that the results are sent to me in time to work on Monday morning. It’s not like I can get the test any earlier. It has to be done three days before the job starts. The feeling of being overwhelmed is still with me and to top it all off, I lost part of a tooth this morning – I think it will have to be pulled – and my dentist is retiring as of today. So we’ve been referred to a new dentist to whom I will have to explain all over again by phobia-level fear of dentists. Thankfully, the tooth isn’t hurting and I have an appointment for next Wednesday morning.

Anyway, travel plans have been made by the touring company. I’ve worked with this company before and they are very efficient and extremely helpful, so that’s a plus. I’ll take Amtrak into the city on Sunday afternoon, then hop on the subway and head over to Queens. Monday and Tuesday will be filled with individual coaching sessions and I’ll head back home Tuesday night.

In the meantime, here’s little Sophie wandering around outdoors:

She reminds me of myself as a girl. My hair was brown and long and I wore bangs and I often wore a serious/worried expression. And I had freckles.

Stay safe.

Happy Friday.

My limelight hydrangeas looking very autumnal.

Thanks for understanding about my taking a break, though I knew you would. Honestly, this is a stressful time for me. There’s a lot on my plate. A lot of that involves change. I have to take the train to NYC on Sunday for the first time in a year and a half. I’ll be staying in a hotel. I’ll be working with lots of different people on Monday and Tuesday, then returning home on the train. Then I’ll be doing it all over again late in the week. I have to get a COVID test tomorrow and pray that results get back in time for me to work on Monday – something I have absolutely no control over.

I’m coaching via Zoom. I’m constantly making lists in my head about what I need to take to Brooklyn when I move there for six weeks. It’s very exciting and, at the same time, very nervous-making. Don and I have been together every day since February of 2020. I’ll be apart from him. It’s strange, all of this. While I’m enormously grateful for the work opportunities, I’m also reluctant to leave our nest.

Yet, I’m determined to do my best to live in the moment during the next few months. I have the opportunity to work on a film – something I’ve never done before. I am going to work alongside my dear Jim Parsons, and Ben, who I’m coaching via Zoom, and Sally Field(!) who is playing Ben’s mother. Very exciting stuff at this point in my life, and certainly something I never thought would happen.

But change is hard for me. As you know, I’ve been suffering from anxiety over the past two years and though there are stretches where it doesn’t make its presence known, there are also times that it does.

Anyway. I’m blessed and I know I’m blessed. But I’m also stressed. That’s the reality of it. A new phrase for me “Blessed and Stressed.”

Then there’s the world outside my door and the pain, death, inequities, willful ignorance, anger, climate change, and on and on.

I have to take a break at times.

We’ll take it as it comes, but there will be certainly be times in the next few months where I won’t have the time to blog. Days on the set are usually a minimum of 12 hours and that doesn’t include commuting back and forth from my apartment. There will be times when I just can’t  blog. Once I get some sort of rhythm going, I’ll know more.

Love you all.

Stay safe.

Happy Thursday.